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UNTITLED CHEERLEADER STORY — CHAPTER FIVE — COMMITMENT (12.7k) (Patreon)

Published:
2024-03-20 01:46:54
Imported:
2026-06
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  • When You Fell from Heaven - 5.epub
  • When You Fell from Heaven - 5.html
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Content

Here we go! I’m going to bed!

Edit: Fixed a couple of Britishisms.

Edit 2: Fixed a typo: cough/couch

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Comments

Ophelia Magos

oh heck yeah, time for more Max.

Skye

Amazing chapter as always.

Bri

Problem: We dressed the twinky neighbor boy up like a girl and now people think he's a girl Solution: Just dress him up like a girl some more Problem: Even More people think he's a girl now Solution: Just dress him up like- Masterful gambit Taylor. At this rate everyone will think he's a girl, and, well, that's problem solved! [Minor language correction: Americans refer to the ground floor as the first floor and the floor above the ground floor as the second floor. I only learned about this difference after weeks of being confused as to why characters in Dorley kept referencing going up stairs to go to the first floor.]

BeastialMoon

"It feels permanent." "It's extremely not permanent!" Narrator: it was, in fact, permanent

Maggie Heels

Aly... whenever you start writing it immediately changes into GOLD, and I am not talking about some 999,9 gold bar stuff... but THIS IS INSANELY BRILLIANT kind of finest gold possible... Au with every atom having its atomic number "79" My cogs in my head are spinning at max speed... "deep blue" (old chess computer) would be full red blushing, realizing how many possible future events I'm trying to predict now... One of those is for example at which chapter Maxine would consider to go out on a date with Banger, Bonger, I mean Jim... only as a cover-up operation... or maybe not??? ❣️❣️❣️😅😁I even include Garret in my calculations... after seeing Maxine for the first time making him unconsciously behave more adult... to hmmm impress her maybe? Oh... so many possibilities...

Samantha Louise

I loved everything, Taylor lusting after Maxine but confused why and not wanting her to go back, max thinking how much mawell’s life sucks, I died at the line of gordo as of date rape could talk. Chapter was amazing.

Tamsin Davis-Langley

Brilliant stuff. I love how the teenagers’ solution to “we’re in a hole” is “dig deeper!” because that’s precisely how some teens WOULD react. And I love how Taylor is both head-smart and heart-dumb, especially when it comes to getting all twitterpated over Maxine. I am so looking forward to where this goes next!

grrl

I wouldn't have guessed "America as written by a Brit" to be where I picked up "[A room] like serial experiments lain", but I've already used it once today and it makes a fine addition to my regular lexicon. Does the UK have Gordos? I imagine everywhere has Gordos but they're texturally different, right? I'm like kinda mad at how absurdly good your dialogue writing is? I have been since the beginning of Dorley and like, damn. It hits this perfect level of punched-up natural without going too far, always. "This will be the last one for a while" is getting to be Greavestalk for "next one up in a few". Please take care of yourself!