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The Sisters of Dorley — Chapter 43 — Wrecking Ball (15.2k words) (Patreon)

Published:
2024-12-31 21:54:15
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

This is coming in kinda hot, so apologies for any typos that I missed!

It was originally going to be like half a chapter, but what I want to lead onto from this will be easily a whole chapter in its own right, so I just capped this one off.

Edit: now that it is very thoroughly the new year, and I have woken up, I’ve fixed all the typos that people noticed.

Comments

backchannels

An excellent treat for new years eve. Thanks Alyson!

Jade Diaz

I never meant to start a war I just wanted you to let me in I guess I should've let you in

Emory Ahlberg

Hooray! A New Years gift from Alyson! 💕

Rose Davidson

"sarky questions" A Britishism, or typo for "snarky"? Guessing it's probably the Britishism, but figured I'd check.

Ophelia Magos

It's been so long since I've read Melissa's deadname that I had to read back to figure out what the first bit was on about, lol. Those capstones are a little ominous.

Wren Roberts

Hmm, is the book with baking and lesbians Jae’s _Not the Marrying Kind_?

Lucy Severine

I like Elle a lot. She's a perverted little freak.

Maggie Heels

Awesome chapter ❣️❣️❣️

SingularCurve

Three things stand out in this chapter to me in the best of all possible ways. The Grave that this version of Dorley is built on and how it is woven through the chapter, the mugs mentioned in this chapter, and the way Frankie is remembering. It makes the title of this chapter so poignant.

alysongreaves
>>159910756

It's referencing a book Steph was reading a while ago, which iirc was not based on anything in particular, just kind of the whole baking romance oeuvre

Faye Core

Agh!!! The kelly reveal was so so good! Also aside i love how they are already in lockdown pre COVID it makes things so tense

Miriam Robern

HOW DID I MISS THIS UNTIL TODAY?!

September

Ahem, so, this is gonna be a long comment XD Please do let me know if you want me to give my feedback in a certain way or focus on certain things (I'm always a bit worried about offending people, especially when I go into depth, which, I haven't here, but just saying) 2: Which, fucking unfair. → I know this is probably intended but it did throw me off. A hyphen or whatever might help, something to signal that there’s an interruption or pause happening :) (also, I’d totally forgotten who everybody was and I’m still not entirely sure but working under the assumption that Jenny is Steph’s mum?) 5: Do you have American walls over there? Literally every wall I’ve lived next to so far would have laughed at me had I come at it with a fucking sledgehammer lmao (okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but they’re definitely enough to laugh at you as you break your fingers, trying to be an edgy teenager) 10: into her true depth of her feelings → into the true depth of her feelings 15: I love Raph’s humour, especially when he’s bashing Ollie → their conversation is really precious :)) 22: And that’s why when Christine and Paige are among the sponsors who emerge from the corridor at shift change, Bethany sits up straight and smiles right at her (→ them, or change the context so it’s just Paige) 27: I thought Will hadn’t yet asked everybody to used feminine pronouns? I mean, it works as a slip-up but maybe I’d put it in to avoid confusion (well, not confusion because I’m sure most people, (like myself) will just read over it – I only remembered it much later XD) I think page 32 is the first time it’s actually mentioned that everybody was asked to do that, right? So it might have happened before but to my awareness, it’s only mentioned there (unless I misread obviously) 30: and starts a kettle boiling. → probably colloquialism, just wanted to point out that it seems rather strange to me. 30: Just something I noticed, on the entire page 30, you use purely neutrally connoted language to describe Maria’s actions. I mean, her mood comes across perfectly fine through her language but especially in contrast with that, she seems eerily calm. Which might be the whole point I suppose. If it was intentional, I NOTICED IT! 38: I loved the conversation Frankie had with Ollie. If he’s going to name himself Kelly sometime in the future I’m going to fucking cry and it’s going to be YOUR fault! (and I’ll love you for it XD) Idk, it’s something about redemption arcs. All the dick characters are my favourites now (tho I guess I liked Leigh a little too much from the start). But fuck, Diana is such a good character and Raph and Ollie have me on the edge of my seat whenever they literally do anything. 39: I’m very much looking forward to Melissa reconnecting with Jenny and her little brother. But fuck, there’s a lot of mending to do XD Right, a few things came together here. I’m sure I can go into more depth with the next chapter should you want me to. But at that point I’d probably also go into more general things I’d notice once I paid closer attention to everything. I’m definitely going to continue giving page-by-page commentary (both because it’s nice that I can remember all the nice little details and point them out and also because nobody else seems to comment on all the beautiful little things and I'm already sad when people don't comment on them in my writing with soooo much shorter chapters XD I wish there was a way to do that a little easier and make it more accessible but yeah, I guess this’ll have to do for now). Two things at last: Do you have a favourite character and if so, who is it? And secondly, did you ever talk at length about your writing process somewhere I have access to? (like Discord or something) I’ve been wondering for some time now how you approach certain scenes or plotting in general and I’d love to know and possibly learn from you :)