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OTV: Chapter 2: Page 60 (Patreon)

Published:
2019-01-15 23:45:58
Edited:
2019-01-28 22:37:45
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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The skelebros share memories of their old home before being interrupted by a wild snowball.

I've got another version here without the extra dialogue from MK.

Files

Comments

Neurotic Sphynx

I think the top part reads fine with out dialog. Like a comfortable silence. Not a fan of forced scripts just for the sake of filling space. Though maybe a “woo” or other excited yell from MK when they exit the shortcut would be appropriate.

AbsoluteDream

Thank you very much for your input! I do try to avoid forced dialogue as well. I hope that the dialogue I added doesn't seem that way. I wanted to leave a hint to something, heh.

Daishi

I think either one works well. The top one feels more appropriate to me, as it makes use of MK and Asriel's friendship to imply that there was an ongoing conversation that we aren't necessarily privy to as the audience. It also foreshadows an intended circumstance later in the day that may or may not happen. That said, the version without them talking works, and lets me appreciate -all the snow- in the panel. xD Seriously, the wide-shot panel of the whole gang walking out of the void and into the snow? There's so much visually going on there, and I think it's excellent.

Jeeley

Woah, the snow scene with the whole gang looks amazing! :o is it possible to maybe combine both versions here - where the panel with the whole gang has no text, but you still get the foreshadowing with the previous panels? As Daishi said, there's so much visually going on in that wide shot that I think it stands out even without the speech

AbsoluteDream

Aw thank you for your input! I did try to give that panel a little more space while keeping most of the dialogue. I hope it works better!

AbsoluteDream

Aw, thank you very much! I tried to give that panel more space while keeping most of the dialogue, so I hope it works better!