My Awkward New Life (Pilot) (Patreon)

Let me know if you think this has potential My Awkward New LifeMy Name’s Josie Star, and right now my life is just the most awkward it’s ever been.

After what happened, nothing is simple.

School is a minefield of social standing I’m not used to, and the pressure to fit in. Life at home is lonely, having been moved away from my family, and that’s not the most awkward part!

Across from me, two tables to the left and two tables ahead, sits the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Iris Cleaver and she no longer knows me. I’m just another monotone face when things between us used to be so colorful.

A nudge to my side. “Joise, you’re not paying attention.”

I glare and whisper back. “So what…?”

Wern, the girl who is also new to this class, just like me, sits beside me with the most motherly of looks.

“Your face’ll get stuck like that, y’know…” I snark at her, putting my chin into my hand as I look longingly at the back of Iris’s head.

“And you need to get good grades…” Wern replies, pushing the textbook under the elbow that’s propping me up, making me almost face-plant it.

“What’s wrong with you!” I yell at her too-mature-looking face.

The class goes entirely silent as everyone turns in our direction. Wern sighs, and the teacher instantly stops the lesson.

“Miss Star.” The teacher pushes his glass up his nose as he stands at the blackboard, glaring at me. “I don’t know how it worked in your old school, but you don’t shout out. Now, do I need to put you in detention, or are you quite finished?”

“It’s Wern, sir…” I nudge her hard, having been waiting for a reason to do so for weeks now. “She’s trying to copy my work.”

The teacher smirks. “I highly doubt that, young lady. Remember, I grade your work, and there’s a significant difference between your level of understanding and Wern's.”

The class laughs, including Iris, which cuts me deep. Cuts me real deep!

“I’m going through a hard time.” I groan at the teacher, folding my arms tight. “Plus, it’s not my fault you make this subject so boring.”

The class gasps, and the teacher snaps his book shut.

“That’s it, Miss Star. Detension. Tonight. No arguments. Now, can I please continue with my lesson?”

He leans forward, waiting for a sarcastic remark, but I just sit in silence, lamenting the unfairness that is my life. As everyone turns back, the lesson resumes, and Wern leans in.

“Smart.” She whispers. “That’ll throw our movements off.”

“Yeah, whatever…you just got me in trouble.”

“Don’t be so sour, Josie. I’m looking out for you.”

I give her a sharp look. “Are you serious? You just made me look like an idiot.”

She chuckles lightly. “You did that yourself, but I like to think that’s because you’re trying to throw off the scent, right?”

I sigh. “Sure…”

After school…

Sitting alone at my desk, the teacher has me copying from the textbook. My only solace is the knowledge that Wern has to wait for me. Wherever she’s gone, I’m sure she’s not far away.

I stop and look around.

Actually, where is she? She’s usually in eye line at all times.

That’s when I completely cack my pants. Iris walks into the room, books in hand, and our eyes meet. For a moment, we just stare at each other as she stands frozen in the doorway.

“Umm…” I look away in an instant, biting my bottom lip hard.

Iris comes into the room and walks to her desk. I glance up at her backside as she walks past, and that just happens to be the moment she also looks in my direction. Well, that’s awkward! My face burns bright red.

“I-I-I…I wasn’t looking at your ass!” I speak nervously as she looks at me, disgusted

I was, but I couldn’t not. Iris walked right past my desk, and it was just… there.

Iris gathers something from her desk, and I can’t bring myself to look. I start slamming my forehead into the desk to sorta punish myself for being so obvious.

“What are you doing?” Iris asks, making me look up.

“Punishing myself,” I reply, rubbing my sore head.

She chuckles, and I awkwardly smile, but more out of relief.

“You don’t like the other new girl, do you?” Iris tilts her head to one side. “What’s her name. Wern or something, right?”

“It’s not like that…” I stretch out and lean back. “I’m kinda stuck with her, and she’s like the mother I never asked for.”

“Mother?” Iris leans on one leg as she stands with her books in her arms. “So she’s like your best friend then? Cares for you?”

“Not my best friend.” I pout.

“Oh.” Iris eventually steps closer, standing at my desk and looking down at me. “I like your hair. Some girls really suit the tomboy look. Was it a scary decision to get it cut so short?”

“Errm….” She touches my bangs, and I swear my nose starts bleeding

“Cute,” she comments. “I’ve got a hairclip you can wear if that helps.”

“N-N-No…it’s okay.”

“It’s a blue one, Joise. It’ll match those blue eyes.”

Heart about to thud right out of my mouth, I can’t believe she’s talking to me again. However, this is not the conversation I want to be having with the girl of my dreams!

“D-Do you like blue eyes?” I ask

“I am a little jealous,” Iris says as her eyes wander down to my chest. I quickly slouch forward to stop her, but it’s already too late.

She starts to playfully giggle. “I bet the reason why you don’t like Wern is that you're jealous of how mature she looks compared to you, eh, Joise? She is a big girl for our age. I was honestly a little surprised when she first introduced herself to the class. It’s like she’s ten extra years of growing time on us other girls.”

“Mmmm, yeah.” I daren’t say anything else, just in case I mess up. “Maybe she drinks a lot of whole milk.”

“Maybe so,” Iris says with a nervous laugh and then changes the subject. “Well, I should get going. I’ve already stayed at school longer than I wanted to. I hope the rest of your detention goes quick.

“Yeah, thanks.” I lower my head onto the textbook and instantly start hating my life as I slowly bash my head repeatedly.

I want to tell her the truth. I need her to know, but I can’t tell her. As she’s about to leave, she stops in the doorway. “Josie?”

“Yeah…” I groan, my face still buried in the reasons for offshore drift.

“I can help you catch up with the rest of the class if you need it. Y’know, private tutoring.”

“Private tutoring!” I look at her like she’s an ice cream truck on a hot day. “With you?!”

“Y-Yeah…” she adjusts the books in her hand, startled by my quick movements. “Only if you need it.”

“Dam right I need it!” I slap the desk hard. “I need you, Iris. One hundred percent!”

“Wow, okay.” She tucks her hair behind one ear as she looks away, stifling a laugh. She then reaches for her phone and smiles at me. “Y’know, you remind me of someone who used to come to this school.”

I gulp. “I do?”

“Mhmm,” She taps at her phone. “What’s your number, Josie? We’ll arrange a study date.”

“D-D-Date?” I gulp again, my eyes wide with hope.

“Yeah,” she brushes off my excitement with a look. “A study date, Josie. We aren’t going out for chicken nuggets and a film.”

“We could order them in! A super food to help us focus! I hear those E numbers and assorted animal bits unlock the hidden human potential.”

“You’re so silly. But no, it’s serious study time to help to catch up with Miss Smarty Pants herself.”

“Smarty pants?” I ask. “You mean, Wern?”

Iris nods. “Yeah…” she lingers on in thought for a moment. “I don’t much like her either. She’s smug about her intelligence.” She then gives me a warm smile. “Number?”

“Right!” I nod vigorously. “It’s not just me then!” I reach for my new phone and the contact I’d saved to remember the number. I show it to Iris, and she enters it into her phone and sends me a smiley face emoji.

My heart skips a beat as the message comes through. I have her number! I have Iris’s Number! Fonzy be praised!”

“What’s that face, Josie? You look like a cat who’s just got into the catnip.”

“W-What face!?” I look up from my phone as I clutch it like I’ve just won an Oscar.

“Are you that excited I’ve given you my number?” Iris asks, giving me a confused look.

“Err….” I try to act cool, throwing an arm over the back of my chair and leaning back. “Nah, I was just thinking about the memes I’m going to send you later.”

“Hey.” Iris raises a finger and gives me a stern look. “Or friendship ain’t on meme level yet.” She clears her throat and quickly creates a peace sign with her raised hand. “Anyways, text me later. I’ve got time for tutoring tomorrow, okay?”

“S-Sure…”

And just like that, Iris waves goodbye and leaves the room.

I grin at the empty doorway for a while, hating how awkward I just was. If only Iris knew the truth. If only I could tell her, then we wouldn’t have to do this awkward dance, and things could go back to normal!

I slam my head into my notebook with the loudest sigh. “Urgh! This is awkward!”

Footsteps enter the room. “You’re dam right it’s awkward.”

I turn my head, the pages sticking to my cheek as I watch Wern enter the room with the usual grace she’s tried to teach me on so many occasions.

“You…” I groan.

“Yes, me.” Wern stands at the side of my desk as I sit up. “Are you nearly done with your copying? We need to move out soon.”

“Move out?” I roll my eyes at her. “Teenagers don’t talk like that, and you’re turning the class against you with this ‘miss know it all act’ y’know…”

“Know it all?” Wern tucks some of her long, perfectly straight black hair from her eyes. “Well, I can’t help it. I’m a high achiever and always have been. Just because I’m assigned to you doesn’t mean I have to pretend I’m stupid.”

“Whatever…” I look away. “Just stop being such a try-hard. I won’t be able to make any friends.”

“You’re not here to make friends.” Wern puts a hand on top of my head and pats it. “You’re here to stay safe and fit in with the other girls, okay?”

“Other girls?” I frown hard as she pats my head a second time.

“Yes, Josie….” She emphasizes my new name.

I bat her hand away and glare. “You’re enjoying making this awkward for me, aren’t you?”

“No.” Wern shrugs. “I’m a professional and the only person protecting you, so be nice.”

“Right, right. I know.” I let out a breath and then gently smile. “Iris gave me her number! She wants me to go on a study date with her!”

“A study date?” Wern looks worried. “I’m not so sure that wise…”

“What!? Why?!”

“She cannot find out.”

“What do you think we’re going to do! As far as she knows, I’m just some other flat-chested girl. We aren’t about to woohoo, Wern! She’s helping me study!”

She fixes with a cold, calculating stare. “Fine. But I’m coming too.”

“Are you serious?!” I stare back. “Not happening.”

“It’s that or nothing. Remember, kid. You’re under my protection, and protect you  I will.”

“Well, shit.” I throw my arms up.

“I know, still, better than sleeping with the fish, eh?”