Bro Got Dumped - Pilot Story (Patreon)

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Idea is based around the meme that Crossdressers will dress as a girl to help their best friend get over a girl. Bro Got DumpedOpening my apartment door, Ben, my best friend, stands on the threshold looking like death himself. No scythe or big black robe—just that look on his face like he’s completely devoid of life.

Water drips from his hair and onto the floor. “Hi…” he says, akin to Ross from Friends.

“Hello.” I hold the door open, my head tilting slightly as I look at his gloomy expression. Then, I furrow my brow. “Aren’t you supposed to be out with….”

I put a thinger to my chin in thought. “Chelsea…?” I shake my head. “Jodie? Sarah?” I get a little flustered; he’s had so many different partners. “Nigel…?”

“Josie…” Ben corrects, and his head drops.

“Yeah…” I snap my fingers. “That’s right! Josie.” I keep a finger on my chin, tilt my head, and flash a knowing grin. “I take it your date tonight is going well?”

Ben stares straight through me, unimpressed. “Are you going to let me in or what?”

I think about it for a moment, playfully shutting the door on him. “Umm…”

“Kirren!” Ben cries out, utterly stunned by my reaction! “You always let me in when a girl dumps me, bro! Come on! I’m wet, cold, and hungry!”

I laugh, still closing the door.

“Bro!” he whines out again. “Come on! It’s not like you’ve got a girl here or anything! Let me come in.”

I abruptly stop, open the door wide, and glare at him, which is probably more of a pout than intimidating. “How do you know I don’t have a girl here?”

“Kirren…” he says, giving me a sly look. “Really?”

“Maybe I do!” I return fire. “And I don’t want your wet dog smell here right now!”

“Kirren…..” he repeats. “Be serious, bro.”

We stare at each other, neither of us wanting to give in. After a moment, I once again start closing the door on him.

“No, bro…” Ben says with a disappointed whine. “Please, she dumped me. Josie dumped me!”

“What, this again?” I say, no sympathy in my voice.

“Yeah…” His head hangs, his shoulders sag, and water keeps dripping onto my doorstep. “Now I’m sad.” He peers up at me with big puppy dog eyes. “Can I... come in?”

I let out a breath. “Yes. Come in.”

Immediately, Ben pushes past me, throws his wet coat onto the floor without even attempting to hang it up, and kicks off his shoes. I watch him, and I know he knows it annoys me. He just flashes me a cheeky smile before looking me up and down.

“No coding today?” he asks. “Normal clothes?”

I glance down at my baggy jeans and the band T-shirt I'm wearing, then shrug, trying to ignore the fact that he's just trying to wind me up.

“Shame.” He lifts his eyebrows and then looks into my kitchen. “So, what have you been doing?”

I gather his wet coat from the floor to hang it up before answering. It’s completely soaked. It’s either raining heavily outside or Josie threw ALL of the drinks at him.

“Umm…” I eventually answer, kicking his sneakers to the side. “I’ve been playing Persona 4 Golden with mods.”

“Oh yeah?” Ben gives my open bedroom door a suspicious look, like he’s trying to catch me at something I shouldn’t be doing.

“Yes,” I tell him sternly, instantly closing my bedroom door to funnel him into the living room. “What else would I be doing?”

He looks at me with such a dirty-looking smirk on his face as rainwater slowly drips down his nose and onto my hallway carpet. I watch the water beginning to soak in. It freaks me out a little, and I do my best not to boil over, but with him, I feel I can let all the crazy out.

“Ben!” I point at my bathroom. “Gross. Go dry yourself off. You're dripping everywhere!” I flap my arms and dance on the spot, already frustrated by his sudden appearance at my door. “Dude, please. Now. Go now!”

“Fine…” He turns toward the bathroom door, then pauses to look back over his shoulder, a teasing smile tugging at his lips. “Have you hidden everything you don't want me to see?”

I grit my teeth at his question, my cheeks beginning to flush red. “Bro!” I push him toward the bathroom. “Shut your stupid flappy mouth and go dry off! You’re making my apartment all wet!”

He opens the door and steps in. “Okay. Okay…” He’s about to close the door behind himself, but stops to look at me. “I-I…I wasn’t trying to tease. I just don’t want you to be embarrassed like last time.”

My eyes bulge wide. I don’t want him to mention that ever again. That underwear was for a cosplay, and only a cosplay! Nothing else!!

Stupid idiot! He knew I was changing! He fully did that on purpose!

“Whoa…” he laughs, then pats my head. “Don’t panic, bro. I haven’t told anyone.” He then shuts the door and continues talking. “So clean in her, Kirren. I could eat my food off this toilet bowl!”

I’m left staring at the closed door, heart pumping like crazy and my cheek burning bright.

“Jerk…” I mutter under my breath as I clutch at the bottom of my shirt.

Hoping he doesn’t make a mess and start moving all my stuff like he normally does, I step away, close my front door, and twist the lock closed. All the while, I can hear him singing in the bathroom, clearly not all that upset about Josie.

I tap on the door. “Upset about Josie, are you?”

He stops, and I no longer hear any movement.

“Y-Yeah…” he replies through the door. “Devastated, I’ll have you know.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

“Kirren, Bro… I’m having a shit. I know me, and you are close, but do you mind?”

“No. You’re! not!” I don’t know what to do with my hands as I stand at the closed door. “B-BEN… p-please don’t make a mess.”

He groans loudly

“It’s a big—”

“Oh, my God!” I say, fighting the urge to bang on the door by biting my fingers. “P-Please.”

He groans again, even more theatrical this time

“Oh, the sushi! I shouldn’t have eaten that gas station sushi!”

My eyes dart from left to right as I work out what to do. I turn to look at my small kitchen, across from the toilet in the hallway. “B-Ben… I’ll get the bleach and the gloves. J-Just try to keep it all in the—” I can’t even bring myself to say what I’m thinking. It freaks me out too much.

I rush to the kitchen sink. Everything is orderly, so I grab rubber gloves, which I have plenty of, and spray bleach and air freshener. Snatching an apron from the back of the kitchen door, I stand at the toilet, jittery, but ready for action.

 The sound of the toilet flushing makes me jump, and I blink rapidly. A moment later, the door opens, and Ben stands in front of me with a big, satisfied smile on his face. Then he notices my apron, and his grin stretches from ear to ear.

“Love it, Kirren. Suits you.”

“Did you make a mess?” I peer around him, wanting to get past, but his stupid, larger frame blocks me. “I-I…I need to clean it up; otherwise I won’t sleep tonight!”

Starting to get quite agitated, Ben puts a hand on my shoulder to calm me down.

“Move it!”

“Chill, bro.” he laughs at me, rather rudely, I might add.

“I can’t!” I kick his shin. “Move.”

“Ouch…” I bends forward, hand still on my shoulder. “Bro…” he begins to giggle at me. “I was only joking. I just toweled down my hair and washed my face. I only flushed the toilet to wind you up!”

Completely unamused, I kick him again, which makes him fall to the floor and allows me a chance to move past him. Stepping over him, bleach still in my hand, I scour the bathroom looking for things out of place and dirty.

First, the toilet bowl. It’s clean, but I still spray it to make sure.

Second, the sink. He’s made a mess; I clean it straight away and tidy the towels.

Third and last, I spray the place down with air freshener, even though it doesn’t smell at all.

Ben, from the floor, watches me like I’m some sort of freak show.

“What?!” I stop and stare at him.

“You’re going to make someone a cute housewife one day, y’know….”

“Fuck off.” I stick out my tongue, then check again for any oddities. “Just because I like things to be tidy and organized.”

“There’s tidy, and then there’s you,” he replies, getting to his feet to lean casually on the open toilet doorframe.

I don’t say anything. In fact, I’m a little relieved, and I take a deep breath to calm myself. Eventually, I turn to look at him, my gaze so sharp it could cut glass.

“You do that again, boyo, and I don’t care how many girls dump you. You’re not my friend anymore. Is that understood?!”

Surrendering to me, he throws up both hands. “Sorry.”

“I mean it!” I hiss.

“I-I…I get it.” I replies. “I-I’m sorry.”

I storm past him, thinking about knocking into his shoulder to show him how angry I am, but I can't bring myself to do it. Instead, I just brush past him and scurry off to the kitchen to put everything back where it belongs.

As I close the sink cupboard, I take off my apron and hang it up. I peer back into the hallway, where Ben stands, looking down at his phone. I watch him for a moment, intrigued by the look on his face. Moments ago he was smiling, but now he looks sad.

I step close enough to see the tears welling up in his eyes.

“Y-You okay?” I ask.

He quickly stuffs his phone back into his jeans, wipes at his face with his sleeve, and gives me the biggest grin that’s obviously forced. “Y-Yeah…” he puffs out his chest and gives me a thumbs up. “Yeah, never better, bro. I erm… I just— I was checking for any messages”

“You wanna talk about it?” I ask, looking up into his big, stupid green eyes.

He just nods, lip wobbling.

I raise an eyebrow and point to the living room, indicating he should go in. “How far did this date go?” I ask, stepping into the kitchen, knowing he’ll be hungry. “Want me to do you some pasta or some fries?”

“Not very far…” He replies, still standing sullen in the hallway, then looks up at me with a brightening smile. “C-Can you make those fries again with the rosemary and the garlic? Those are delicious!”

I smile back. “Sure.” I turn the oven on. “We can watch a film or something if you want?”

“Okay!” he calls back from the living room. “If you want. No falling asleep on my shoulder this time!”

My cheeks flush a little, knowing that did happen and he just let me sleep and drool on him without even waking me.

About twenty minutes later, I’ve got a fresh batch of fries for him, and I bring them into the living room. Ben is lying back on my sofa just staring at the ceiling. I place the fries on a coaster on the coffee table.

With him taking up the entire seating area, I kneel beside the coffee table, hands in my lap.

“So, what happened?” I ask.

He turns his head to look at me.

“It’s always the same thing.” He replies, eventually sitting up to grab a fistful of fries to stuff his mouth full.

“Oh?”

“Yeah…” his mouth stuffed full, he falls back onto the sofa and restarts his staring competition with the ceiling.

I shift uncomfortably as I’m sitting on my legs. I spread them out to my side. “I don’t get how you keep meeting these women, Bro. They always seem so interested in you, but like a week in, they break up with you.”

Ben grunts through his mouthful, and I look down at my fingernails, deep in thought.

“I mean, I can’t even get a girl to look at me, yet they seem to throw themselves at you.”

Swallowing the truckload of fries in his mouth, he eventually looks down at me with a smile. He wipes away the crumbs, making me want to vacuum my entire apartment immediately, then shrugs in response.

“I dunno.” He says. “I guess….I guess it’s because I’m up front with my intentions from the get-go. Also, you can never fail to kiss a girl if you make it a game, y’know…?”

I look away from the mess he’s making as he goes in for a second wipe of his chops and distract myself by asking, “…a game?”

He nods. “Yup.” He gives me a thumbs-up. “Sixty percent of the time, it works every time. So, if you're nervous, tell her you want to play kiss-chicken. The game is: the first one to pull out of the kiss is a chicken, you get it? So, you never pull away and, in my experience, girls don’t wanna be a chicken either, so you end up just kissing.”

“You're lying.”

“No seriously…!” he stretches out one leg to poke me with his foot. “If you were a girl, I would have totally used it on you by now.”

I throw him a dirty look. “Would you now?”

“Probably…” he looks away in thought.

A moment of silence between us follows, and I take that as a good time to reach for the remote. I turn on Netflix and smile to myself.

“Not the Netflix and Chill you planned tonight, Ben, but what do you wanna watch?”

With no answer, I start flicking through the movies on offer. I know Ben likes horror, so I flash past a few of them, hoping he’ll tell me, but he doesn’t. After a few more moments of nothing from the noisiest and messiest person I know, I begin to wonder if he’s more upset than he’s letting on.

“You okay, bro?”

Eyes glazed over, he slowly looks at me. Kinda like a vacant look a zombie would give. It makes me roll my eyes at him. He clearly wants me to ask him about it, but it’s classic Ben; he never comes out with it straight.

“Was she the one?” I ask, staring blankly back, knowing every girl he meets is the one.

His gaze falls to his lap, lip trembling, he gives me a sad nod

“I think so, Kirren.”

“So what happened?”

He looks at me, confused, desperate. Like a lost sheep. “I-I..I don’t know.” He rubs at his eyes and lets out a frustrated sigh. “We’d been at hers having sex, which she loved. Then, we held hands all the way to the restaurant. She was laughing at every single joke and even let me order her food.”

“Right…”

“So, she’s asking me about friends and family.” He reaches into his pocket, finds his phone, and opens it. “I’m telling her about my sister and stuff, and then I started showing her pictures of your latest cosplay…”

I bite down on my lip as I feel dread building up inside me. “The Marin Kitagawa one?” I ask, the embarrassment obvious by how much my cheeks are burning.

“Mhmm…” he continues, as if it’s not that big a deal, but it is to me. “I showed her a single picture from the convention we went to last week, and then I totally had to go pee.”

“Right…” I say, feeling like it might be my fault.

“Well…” he slaps his forehead with his hand. “I left my phone on the table, open for Josie to look at the pictures I took of you, and she must have intercepted messages from another girl, cos when I got back, she just got up, told me she can no longer date me, and rushed out, leaving me in the middle of the restaurant with everyone staring at me…”

“Oh?” Sad for him, but a sense of relief for me. I lean closer, curious. “Did she like my cosplay? Like, did she say anything? Girls usually give me advice on how to look more natural.”

Eyes half shut, he looks at me like I’m an idiot. So I stop leaning closer and awkwardly laugh it off. “S-Sorry.”

Throwing back his head, he lets out a mighty moan, slapping his forehead several times. “I’m such an idiot. Idiot, Idiot, Idiot!” He stops, hands covering his face. “I’ve been texting this Nicola girl I met at the gym. I didn’t think anything of it, but yeah, I guess Josie must have seen her messages.”

Head now upright, he takes a deep breath in. “Women, Kirren… Honestly, I think I could go without.” Seconds later, he’s stabbing angrily at his phone with his index finger. “Stupid, stupid thing! You’ve ruined it with a girl I really liked!”

I stifle a laugh as I reach for a fry.

“If you weren’t doing anything with this Nicola girl, why don’t you message Josie and tell her the truth?” I eat the chip and wait to continue my thought until I’ve cleaned my teeth with my tongue. “Surely, if she liked you and you like her, it’s worth trying to get over this little misunderstanding?”

Hands thrown up theactically into the air, he whines out, “I tried! I rang her, messaged her. I even sent her an email flagged as urgent!”

He slumps. “No response.”

I purse my lips together. “Maybe she only replies to emails during business hours?”

My joke falls on death ears as he stares aggressively at his phone, like it’s betrayed him. I thought it was funny, but either way, I start flicking through the films once again. Then, he seems to relax as he starts tapping away on his phone as if he’s talking to someone.

“Film?” I say, wanting him to help me pick.

“You choose,” his response comes back instantly, without even looking up.

I keep scrolling, nothing taking my fancy, but as I glance at him, he’s clearly not that interested. He’s now smiling at his phone, like whoever he’s talking to has instantly made him forget his troubles.

Or maybe it’s my hospitality?

Nah, It’s probably the person he’s talking to.

“Hey, do you mind if I watch this Chainsawman Anime?” I ask him, already switching over from Netflix. “I’ve finished making my cosplay outfit for one of the characters; I just wanna watch it again so I can get her mannerisms down.”

“Sure, sure. Whatever, bro.”

As the anime starts, I can see him taking an interest. Which is nice for me, because I wish he’d be more interested in watching these anime’s with me, rather than just attending the conventions as my cameraman.

However, he’s constantly messaging and checking his phone, but at least he’s not talking so much. After a little while, he shows some interest, asking, “Which character are you dressing up as, Kirren. The dude with chainsaw face?”

Sitting with my back against the sofa, I turn to look at him, excited he’s asked.

“Do you think I could pull that off?”

“Urm…” he bites his tongue. “Probably…not. You’re not really built for such a character.” He looks up, studying the anime as it plays out. “Maybe one of these chicks? What about the blonde one?”

“Power?” I say.

“Is that her name?”

“Yeah. Do you think I could pull her off?”

Staring for a moment, he slowly looks down at me, and a smile grows. “Do you have the costume ready?

“Mhmm.” I nod, turning away from him to continue watching.

He taps away on his phone a little while longer before, after about five minutes, he asks, “Can I see you wearing it?”

“What now?”

Still sitting on the floor in front of him, he begins patting me on the head, laughing the entire time. “I know you want to, Kirren. Go on, go try it on for me… pleeeease.”

“Stop patting my head,” I grumble, refusing to look at him.

“Gooo ooon…” he teases me. “I know you too well, little one. I know how excited you get when you wear those outfits, so go on. Go put it on and give it a test run for me!”

Secretly excited, I hide a happy grin but turn back to look at him with a frown. “Are you sure you want to see it…?” I ask, worried he’s actually more interested in messaging whoever this other person is.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Really…?” I turn around, climb up between his legs, and reach up to poke his phone from his hand. “Who are you even messaging?”

He tries to catch his phone, frumbles it, and it lands directly on his crotch. I laugh as he curls up in pain, whines out, and then glares at me.

“Bro!”

“Ha, gotcha!”

“Just go put your outfit on, bro!”

“You seriously want to see it?”

He leans in closer to me as I hold myself up by my hands, between his legs.

“Yes.” He says, annoyingly patting me on the head once again, like I’m his cat.

“Fine!” I swipe away his hand and glare. “Y’know, Power’s a demon of sorts. You keep patting me on the head like that and I’ll… I’ll…”

“You’ll what?” Ben’s grins so wide I can see the bit of ginger between his teeth from the fries.

I say nothing.

“Yeah, thought so, small fry.” He pushes my face away with his hand. “Go on. Go get dressed. If I’m not going to spend tonight with a real-life girl, a make-believe one will have to do.”

“Make-believe?” I fight him off and then stand. “Rude…”

Flippant, he just gives me a soft smile and wink. “You love it.”

“Do I…?” His smile is infectious. “Do I indeed?”