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Chapter 5, Page 23... (Patreon)

Published:
2021-01-29 23:09:19
Edited:
2021-01-29 23:10:52
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

...Only two pages to go!

The first line of dialogue I carried over from the previous page.  I think it works better here.  Already edited the previous page, so that's all set to go!

I might need to put in a third page, but I may be overthinking it.  I have everything sketched out and I'm very happy with it, but there's a bit of business that I'd like to include that wasn't in the original script.  We shall see,  Either way, it's gonna be fun!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Files

Comments

kou32

hahaha, I love the back and forth here.

VDBEULLE

Awww they're so cute

Brad Kitts

Love the chemistry between these two.

Ralph Fairhead

I love the deceptive simplicity of your work and the very human qualities you consistently assign to the individual characters. I look forward with great anticipation to the gradual unfolding of this intriguing plot.

DuskStealth

The glove has been thrown! The gauntlet is upon us!

PulpFiction

El is such a brat! She's going to enjoy her punishment!

the_iceman

Of course it's going to be fun. The whole series is.

Rick

Ah yes ch 6 I believe it will either start or finish where the story began

CJ

Considering that game night happened at Ellie’s, is she walking Meg home/to the car or why are they outside? (I’d like Ellie doing something that’s considered butch, like walking their friend home).

Death of Ink

"Don't get the wrong idea!" You're not fooling anyone sweetheart.

Retromancer

I like how Meg props up El in the last panel, she'll just break harder when the realization comes. Very human on both of their parts

PsyGremlin

Ooh, Ellie's going to be a bratty sub... She's probably lucky she said "Not gonna happen" and not "Make me..."

Fenix

I hope Ellie is not all talk. I wouldn't mind some mental combat.

Jordan Andrew Scherr

*haha!* Ellie is vastly underestimating who she's talking too. No, I could only see Val overpowering and/or out-maneuvering Meg mentally. And only because miss icy-stare has an incredible sense of pre-planning and control.

Michael

Oh Ellie I have a feeling you're going to regret that. Not very much of course but still I think Meg is playing you like a fiddle :)

stereoscopecomics
>>52486312

Thanks for saying so! It’s easy to get wrapped up in what I’m doing that sometimes I forget and hope I’m not just boring everyone. Also I’m slow, but I’m getting faster!

stereoscopecomics
>>52533126

Indeed! Val is going to require an entirely different approach. Heh hey...so many different types of subs and dons to explore! 🎉

JerryChops

I have a bit of a critique. The transition from "game night" to "walking Meg home?" feels jarring. If you added a page just before this one that shows everyone leaving and has a panel (or some dialogue) explaining how the two of them ended up on a sidewalk it would really smooth the transition between environments. As it is, I had to scroll back in the feed to make sure I didn't miss a page. You could even put an interaction between Ellie and Val on the extra page. Maybe Val being last one out the door and giving Ellie a thumbs up or something.

stereoscopecomics
>>52627054

It definitely needs something. I’m thinking a page of close ups as everyone enjoys the closeout of the game. I’d originally wanted a conversation between Ellie and Val, but it’s too soon. Thanks for the constructive feedback! Will work on it!🎸🎶

PulpFiction
>>52508482

I'm not sure there is that much of a difference between both... at least, from Meg's point of view....