A DIFFERENT PORTRAIT - FINAL PART (Patreon)

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Final Part: Fate Amidst The Firefly Forest

Everything happened so quickly, I couldn't have imagined that such a moment would come to pass. Standing near the ranger's guard post checkpoint, all I wanted was to find Sylvia. Yet, when I saw that figure rushing toward me from the edge of the woods, my mind didn't even have time to process it—my body acted on instinct, because... the woman I loved had suddenly lost her balance and was about to fall. The only thought that remained in my mind was one singular conviction: “I must catch her, no matter what!” A loud crash echoed, and then we both tumbled to the ground.

That was a close call! If I had been even a split second slower, she would have been hurt. Indeed, all that mattered to me in that moment was Sylvia's safety, ignoring the agony in my own back, which was screaming, “Why?! I feel pain too!”

In the heat of the moment, my mind was almost completely blank, but once everything had unfolded, the emotions began to flood in. My heart raced wildly, as if it were responding to the pain in my back, which screamed in protest behind me. You can't blame me, though—she was lying right on top of me! It was an intimacy so close, it felt almost unreal.

The soft, familiar scent of Sylvia’s hair filled my nostrils, a fragrance that had made my heart flutter just a week ago whenever I was near her. Her face, now cradled in my arms, was flushed with what I could only guess was embarrassment—the very face I had dreamed of countless times in my sweetest fantasies over the past week. It was really her! Sylvia, truly, not just a shadow in my dreams anymore!

Though my mind was consumed with only one thought—“Sylvia”—the only word that escaped my lips was “Aiden...” and it was completely unintentional. As soon as it left my mouth, I instantly regretted it. I could see the shift in her eyes, a mixture of surprise and something else... a trace of sadness. She looked startled, almost as if she were trying to conceal something—something she had just realized I now knew: the truth.

Looking back, I felt so foolish. For years, I had prided myself on being good at my studies, proud of my ability to analyze things with precision. Yet, I hadn’t realized that Aiden was actually Sylvia. Even though Narek and Lina had dropped hints more than once. Maybe Narek was right—I'm dumber than I thought. Or perhaps, it was simpler than that: deep down, I just didn’t want to face the truth.

But still, the truth no longer mattered to me at this point. This girl, no matter how her form changed, still made my heart race. I had to return to Azure Haven Town just a week later, partly because I couldn’t shake her image from my mind, partly because something felt unfinished between us. I needed to find out why. And I did. I didn’t care if it was Aiden, the one I had such a bad impression of all those years ago, or Sylvia, the one I had secretly loved. The answer was clear: I loved her. Finally, I understood. The missing piece, the one I had been searching for all this time, had finally fallen into place.

✦✦✦✦✦

Falling into that familiar embrace, I lost all sense of control. In that moment, I could only jerk back in surprise, and then both of us tumbled to the ground. And there I was, lying in the arms of Ace Vernon. I had never felt so bewildered. Not just because of the sudden collision, but because of the strange sense of familiarity I felt from his body.

Although I had decided to change myself and live as a girl, in that moment, it felt as if two different versions of me were fighting for control over this body. One version of me was rude, unpleasant, and careless; the other, gentle, sometimes shy, and always meticulous in my appearance. Which identity would prevail? The answer came to me more easily than I had expected. I was Sylvia, a girl deeply in love with the guy right in front of me… or, to be more precise, right beneath me.

My heart raced as I looked into Ace Vernon’s eyes. The feeling was so vivid, perhaps because it had been so long since I last saw him. A week might seem like a short time for most people, but for a girl in love, yearning to be loved, it felt like the title of a work by Chinghiz Aitmatov, “The Day Lasts More Than a Hundred Years.”

“Aiden...” Ace Vernon’s words made my heart tighten. Had he realized? No... I didn’t want that! Once he knew I was Aiden, he would hate me all over again. Was he thinking that he wanted “the dirty thing” that I was to disappear from his life forever? I was utterly lost, unsure of what to do. But at the same time, somewhere deep inside, a quiet sadness crept closer. Perhaps, this was the end.

No! Better to hurt once than regret a thousand times. I had to dig into this, no matter what. But I couldn’t bring myself to look into his eyes anymore. “Do you… remember? You once… didn’t like me?” The question slipped from my lips, and immediately, I regretted it. The feeling of anxiety, the fear that everything I did would only annoy him, rushed back to me like a wave.

Ace Vernon looked at me with a bewildered gaze before bursting into laughter. “Phew! I thought that because I had said something wrong, you'd distance yourself from me. But it seems like you're not planning to do that after all.” Only then did I realize with a shock that I was still lying in Ace Vernon’s arms. Embarrassed, I quickly scrambled to sit up.

As I sat there awkwardly, Ace Vernon continued, “Did you get it wrong? You’re the one who made me think that you didn’t like me! I… well, to put it better, I was just feeling awkward. Like, I didn’t know how to act the next time we met. I was afraid I’d do something to upset you. After all, I really don’t want any trouble with Narek’s older brother.”

I cut him off immediately, “I’m not Narek’s older brother! I’m his sister! And… I don’t hate you, never have, and never will. It’s just that… I’m really shy when it comes to talking to strangers. You have to believe me! I’m being honest! You have to…”

Ace Vernon let out a sigh of relief, his smile lighting up his face and making my heart skip a beat. “That’s such a relief! I’m so glad the misunderstanding is cleared up. You don’t need to explain anymore. I believe you! I know you’re introverted and trying to change. After all, we’ve spent quite a bit of time together already...” At that point, Ace Vernon suddenly went silent, as if he had become embarrassed. Hic hic. Is being with me that embarrassing?

Ace Vernon suddenly panicked, “Sylvia... why are you crying?!”

“Because you don’t want to be with me!”

“Why would you think that?!”

“When you mentioned us being together, you looked so uncomfortable!”

“No! Listen to me! For the past week… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you! Whether it was before or after I realized you were Aiden! I was such an idiot for not realizing sooner. But even after I figured it out, I still can’t erase your image from my mind! It’s just… I’m not worthy of you! Even as a guy, you still have the appearance of a perfect girl. You could easily find someone better than a simple, ordinary vet like me. I’m ashamed of myself for allowing myself to get so close to someone I shouldn’t have touched! But… no matter if I’m worthy or not, I still want to confess everything to you, now or never again—I love you… I love you so much… I can’t stop loving you!”

I looked at him, silent, but my heart was bursting with emotion. He had said the words I had always wanted to hear, even though I had never dared to hope for them.

“I... I can't believe it,” I choked on my words. “Am I dreaming? Do you really love me?! I... I... I’m so happy! I don’t even know what to say. Not worthy? What are you talking about? I’m the one who’s not worthy of you! I’ve always been afraid of that. The thought of you hating me, of not accepting my true self, has always made me feel crushed and hopeless. Please, don’t think too highly of me! I’m four years older than you... but I’m still lonely! I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m beautiful, I just want to be beautiful for you, only for you! I... I’ve liked you for so long! Just a few days before you left Azure Haven Town that time. I’m sure... I liked you before you liked me! For a man to love another man, maybe it’s not something to be proud of to confess... but... it’s the only joy I have right now! I’ve loved you for so long, even before you loved me, and I’ll always say it! In the future, if... our children ask us who liked the other first, I... I will always proudly tell them, ‘Of course, it was me who liked your father first!’”

My words came straight from the depths of my heart. I couldn’t hold back anymore. Maybe I had gotten too excited and spoken too much, but I didn’t care! In that moment, all I wanted was to be by his side, no matter the obstacles. I love you, Ace Vernon!

✦✦✦✦✦

I was truly taken aback—so much so that there were two surprises! First, I never expected Sylvia to speak so much in one go. But that didn’t matter, forget about it! What really shocked me was that a girl as close to perfection as her—who had just admitted to liking me—kept insisting that she had liked me long before I ever liked her.

I couldn’t hold back anymore. The lump in my throat, the overwhelming confusion in my heart, made it impossible for me to say another word. In that moment, all the walls inside me seemed to crumble. The feeling was magical, as if everything in my life had led me to her. I told myself, I have to say something meaningful in this moment!

“Sylvia... Did you forget... that you can't have children?”

Damn it! My mouth has betrayed me again!

From her excited expression, Sylvia’s face shifted to a pout, looking incredibly cute. “Hmph! You’re really good at ruining emotional moments! No wonder you still don’t have a girlfriend at your age!”

“But… you just said you’re four years older than me and still don’t have a boyfriend! Clearly, I’m better off than you! And I’m still not letting you off the hook for lying about your age. Do you remember when we first met, you told me you were only one year older than me?”

“Well, wasn’t I trying to be the best version of myself in front of you? But forget it, let’s not talk about that anymore. I’ve never had a boyfriend, but... from now on, I’m going to have a husband. You... can’t refuse, you know! My father won’t give me any more time.”

I burst out laughing, then reached out with one hand. “Well then... shall we start from here?”

Sylvia extended her hand to meet mine, “Yes!”

We held hands and walked together to the place where we’d watch the fireflies that night. Sylvia’s beginning came before mine, but my beginning started right here. What does it matter who liked whom first? In the future, if our children ever ask whether dad loved mom more or mom loved dad more, I’ll definitely answer, “Of course, I love your mother more, as much as the hairs on a dog!”

The End.