Watchcast Schedule for January 2026: The Toys That Made Us, The Movies That Broke Us (Patreon)

Greetings, Nextlanders! Been a bit since we've last had a chance to chat about the Watchcast, but it's a new month, a new year, and a new theme. For our first Watchcast slate of the year, I made the command decision to zero in on the movies we spent far and away the most time talking about during our pre-holiday Watchcast spitballing session over on the Ramblecast. Specifically, Transformers and G.I. Joe: The Movies! I probably don't have to explain to any of you why those movies mean anything to us, given our age and predilections toward toy collecting and dumb cartoons. Vinny, in particular, is a Transformers obsessive, and all three of us grew up watching the shows and collecting the many cheaply made pieces of plastic they put out.

Now, obviously, we still need a third movie for this slate, and there is one. What is it? You'll find out eventually! Here's the full schedule:

Monday, January 12th: Transformers: The Movie (1986)

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like we have teased the idea of doing this movie basically since the launch of the Watchcast. It was always an inevitability to me that we'd get to it eventually, both because of what a Transformers fan Vinny is and how much this movie looms in the memory for all three of us. Why does this 84 minute toy commercial matter at all? Because it's so weird! Apart from the obvious childhood trauma associated with it (which I'll save for anyone who somehow still doesn't know by now), every creative choice in this movie is just bizarre. Some of that is very much the result of board room decisions trickling down into the script, but even the non-toy-line-related creative decisions feel like a fever dream at times. And that's even before you get to the part where Orson Goddamn Welles plays a transforming Galactus planet, and did so five days before his death! This is his final role!

Whether you think this is any good or not will likely depend on how much undying love you still hold for this franchise, but even if you don't have that love, we find PLENTY to talk about in our discussion that I think will still be of interest to the casual observer.

Where to Watch

Monday, January 19th: G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)

Speaking of weird, guess what movie is somehow even weirder than Transformers? G.I. Joe: The Movie, that's what! Granted, the Joe cartoon often dealt in more bizarre stuff than the Transformers show tended to, but even so, this movie is a trip and a half. And, like the Transformers film, it ultimately makes so many bizarre creative choices that it kind of kills the momentum of the show that came afterward. Granted, this movie didn't have a theatrical failure to compound things. It was released direct-to-video after Transformers (and My Little Pony) bombed in theaters, and one particularly notable creative decision in the script got overwritten at the last possible second out of fear of repeating Transformers' audience trauma.

Once again, I will make no promises about this movie being good. But I do not think you will find it boring, unless you just think everything about G.I. Joe is boring. Then I cannot help you. This is G.I. Joe. You won't be able to get around that.

Where to Watch

Monday, January 26th: Masters of the Universe (1987)

Well, you wanted to know what the third movie was. Are you satisfied? Are you happy? Do you feel content with this knowledge?

We toyed with some other ideas for this slot. I had pitched Go-Bots: Battle of the Rock Lords, a movie that can only be seen via archive.org at this point, but that felt a little too obscure (and a little TOO garbage-y) for what we were doing this month. I also debated the animated He-Man movie, The Secret of the Sword, but that also is extremely difficult to watch legally. So, instead we landed here, on this Cannon Group-produced trainwreck featuring a particularly glistening Dolph Lundgren and Frank Langella as the rubberiest Skeletor you will ever see.

Is this movie secretly good? Oh sweet Jesus no. I do not think I have seen this since I was like 10, but I bet it's even worse than I remember. However, this is the kind of campy piece of trash that can be a fun watch if you're appropriately sauced and willing to let its magnificent stupidity wash over you. At least, that's how I remember it. We'll find out together if I'm right!

Where to Watch

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And that's the month! We're still talking through what the rest of 2026 on the Watchcast will look like, but I'm going to make one promise to you right now: Next month, we're doing good movies. What flavor of good movies? No idea, but they will be good movies, not bad movies. We've "enjoyed" a lot of bad movies recently. And in February, we will enjoy good movies instead. That is my solemn oath to you, the Watchcaster.

And with that, I will take my leave. As always, thanks for listening and watching along with us. We'll see you at the movies!

--A