A letter to Your Most Gracious Majesty (Patreon)

Your Most Gracious Majesty.

With the utmost humility, I beg to convey that the bestowal of copious food to your illustrious female guards has yielded only a modicum of success.

Although their vigour and prominence have risen significantly, I must inform Your Majesty with the heaviest of hearts that a significant number of them have already relinquished their swords owing to their incapacity to bend to lift them off the ground, and a large number are on the verge of relinquishing their capacity to walk.

With utmost sincerity and respect, I affix my signature and title,  Rosalinda Marigold, Castellan of Your Most Magnanimous Majesty, with a  heart filled with unwavering loyalty and dedication.