Life update (Patreon)

Is Teti dead? No
Is Teti good? Not really, but we keep trying ♥

This will be a bit of a longer post about my life, skip if you don’t really care about personal stuff XD I should have pics galore for you guys in another post ♥

This is a bit of a vent and me wanting to share a bit more, since I usually refrain from personal talks in my general posts.

Hey there loves ♥

Hope I haven’t worried you guys too much, had some people reach out to see if I was ok, thank you ♥ 

I’ve been struggling with physical and mental health for so long, and still, I have yet to have a proper diagnosis, so treatment seem always just bandaids. I do think I’ve learned a lot about myself though, and have been trying to be more kind to myself and respect my body more. I was starting to do a bit better, but this year kicked hard, with some extra health problems on top of what I already had and putting the cherry on top I lost one of my beloved cats, and that hit really hard.

Let’s get physical… XD

Most of you already know, I developed a chronic pain in my arm since 2020, yes it is chronic, so probably not gonna “get better”, but I’ve tried many treatments some more successful than others, and I’ve landed on a place where I have to take meds daily, do physical therapy 2x a week and most importantly, don’t overwork. That last bit being the tricky part now, because is so hard for me to realise if I’m doing too much, so I’ve had to limit myself a lot, usually only working around 4h per day in a maximum running time of 2h, and it may seem like not much of a problem, but breaking down the work into little bits has been so hard as I feel like I need quite a bit to adjust and get in the zone to work, but more about that on the mental break stuff XD

So, I’ve been dealing with that for some years now, trying to adapt and adjust. Then more recently, started to struggle with hormones too, like hypothyroidism and period related problems. And that is what I know of, so got some treatment but it was quite the journey to find what was happening, and I still don’t think we got everything. The more frustrating part is that most doctors just put the finger at “it’s stress” or “you’re fat” and, yeah sure, but it’s not something easy to just “not get stressed” but this also delays a lot of investigation that could be more helpful. Anyways, that’s where we stand, lots of medicine and treatments, but not many answers to what really is going on, we keep investigating. Leaned I’m hypermobile and so have to work extra hard to get some muscles to help hold everything in place XD 

Now, get into my mind…

My mental health has never been the best, but definitely dealing with all of the recent struggles made everything worse. I do have clinical anxiety and depression and recently got an Autism diagnosis (possibly Audhd), and this diagnosis helped me a lot to understand many mental struggles I always had. Previously I would just work myself until exhaustion, but I was young and “healthy”, so recovery wasn’t so bad, but with all of the previous health issues flaring up I just simply had no energy to deal with anything anymore, started to try but quickly burnt out. And finding an equilibrium on when I can press and when I need to step back has been really really hard, just like finding how much time I can work before my arm starts to hurt. The autism also helps explain my problem with transitions and why it has been so hard to break down my work time :/  But I’ve been leaning and trying methods to help me understand how to deal with everything ♥ go go therapy XD

I would say anxiety have been my worst enemy most of the time, the goblins in my head always shouting the worse stuff, but have been learning to shut them up. Still have some external factors that I can’t control that contributes to the stress like dealing with all of the AI stuff, but I remain hopeful that things  will get better ♥

So…. That’s where I’m at, struggling, learning, trying and understanding. And here is a wish that I will find a good way to make things work ♥

Thank you ALL for the support as always, love you guys so much! ♥

Check out the new stuff coming up ♥