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I hope this page lands the way I wanted it to. I liked the idea that the instant Nadine got off she'd need zero coaxing to unload what was bothering her, I just really struggled with getting that out on the page in what I felt was an entertaining way. The art and especially the dialog got reworked a lot, right up until the last minute, so if you have any feedback I'd love to hear it. 

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Comments

GregD

Fascinating. I love that she couldn't talk about it till all her needs were met.

Licorice Lain

It will work if on the next page he has a 'wuh?' face.

Jariah Synn

Right uh that last panel. Wut?!

ScuzzBucket

Miss Hollllllllllllttttttt!!! I dunno if you guys knew this but I consider her the best girl. I adore the romance here, and her perfect proportions and womanly figure are top-tier. Also this is an interesting twist- I wonder how they’d “take over”. Also interesting that Elianna would probably join her in opposing it. But mainly Nadine is waifu.

Slaughterbug

I'd say the page worked really well, then the last panel hit... and now I have so many questions. What? Are they going to turn it into a boarding school for pornstars? or make Elianna the tyrant - principal - ice queen of the school? Which of those would be more insane? I mean.... what? Rein, please tell me you're going to fill us in on what that means soon...

Lord Washington

Shit. I might actually prefer Elliana over them...

Jordan Christmas

I think it turned out great! However, I think the last panel would be a little less jarring if you stick in a word bubble from Shiro saying "Now, will you please tell me what's bothering-" before Nadine interrupts him before he can even finish the sentence with what's on her mind 🙂

Emmett McMullan

Love it! That entirely reads as the post nut clarity non-sequitur. I say one almost every time I get down with my partner. The timing and pacing made me laugh

Bob Fink

So that's one big load, he not only filled her pussy but had enough to cover her tits too, way to go. And Nadine's last statement, if I remember Elliana's parents right, with them in charge lewdness would rain.

NomadicWanderer

Shiro after shooting a massive cumshot on her, is only concerned he got some on her shirt... and she just says to kiss her. They really are such a freakin' adorable couple!

Nikuthulhu

I love that she was impressed by his cumshot. That was kind of adorable.

Squid Hills

I think this page works very well. I think you really succeeded in making Shiro and Nadine's relationship stand out as different from everyone else's (with the possible exception of Parker and What's-His-Name from the game) as one of the very few that is built on more emotional attraction rather than physical lust.

Kyman201

Ah, the post-orgasm clarity

Alex Barton

I write published erotica (so not just mental masturbation...). Nothing works better than a sudden, unexpected statement at a sudden. unexpected moment. You nailed it and set up an intriguing scenario for when you're ready to continue.

Lukas West

I came just imagine after the final panel Dramatic Music plays *Duh Duh Duuuuuh!*

.

that kind of take doesn't sound bad at all ;) Only Eliana stands in their way, but maybe Tenma can change her mind ;) ;)

.

As an aside, May 8th is National Outdoor Intercourse Day; hoping everyone in Castlewood will be celebrating :) ;)

eF..cz

Reworked to be top.

Reinbach

Good! I thought that suited her.

Reinbach

Things would be more organized under her, at least! XD

Reinbach

I think that's a great idea, and if I'd had any room left for an extra dialog bubble down there without redrawing it, I'd have done that right after reading this.

Reinbach

Awesome! Certainly my intent there.

Reinbach

Glad that's going over well! :)

Reinbach

Cool! I'm a little outside my wheelhouse writing a functional couple, so I'm glad I seem to be pulling it off well enough. :)

Reinbach

Sorry but I'm a bit confused by that sentence and don't know how to respond. How do you mean?

eF..cz

As you write above, you reworked the dialogs a lot and i say the result is top quality. As usual.