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My Immortal Chapters 29-34 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-01-30 23:42:48
Edited:
2025-07-31 17:35:40
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

It's my immortal, continued.

It's my immortal, continued.

Comments

Ashley Siders

My weird little brain has been waiting for this moment.

Zach Van Stanley

I was on a zoom call at work, and I literally gasped when I saw this

Joanna B

The gasp I gasped at this notification.

Canadiankev

This is the worst....I can't wait!

K

I just squeed

Stella

OH FUCK YESSSS 'smexy' God damn. I haven't heard that since Jr. High

Ty Stephens

Thank you guys. I work for the federal government and this week has been a DISASTER. My immortal is my favorite series. Thank YOU for your service!

KayJayO

i love these so much

Gilmore Snout

Fun fact: eructation means “burp”, and I can’t honestly say I haven’t burped during sex.

Ira Coman

What glorious fortune! Thank you, exactly what I needed.

Laura Lusby

YAYYYYYY **starts the whole thing alllll the way over again**

Rob Geiger

I'm so disappointed in myself that I was EXCITED to see this posted! Or, more accurately, my wife will be disappointed...

Marie Smith

Thank you. I really needed to laugh.

Fren

I'm more confused than I've ever been.

PeterinKorea

I am wondering whether this will ever not be funny anymore.

Danica

I really hope this series never ends! You guys once floated the idea of feeding this into ChatGPT to write new chapters after you run out - please make that dream a reality!!

Hogboblin

Heath's cheerful bog witch "HELLOooo" made me painfully aroused.

Shannon Klakowicz

Remind me. Who wrote this hilarious piece of narrative trash?

J. Vizzle

OH MY FUCKING GAWWWWWD!!!! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

J. Vizzle

You need to start at the beginning

J. Vizzle

Haha, I just downloaded all the other episodes too

J. Vizzle

I still don't understand what "kuwai" means.

J. Vizzle

Alright, I can die happy after the surprise appearance of drunk, pregnant Boston lady.

devdevsdev

Kawaii means “cute” in Japanese and has become a popular term in America.

Jared Harris

I’ve been waiting patiently.

Julie Wine&Reason

This stuff is so hilarious, I woke my spouse up giggling while listening in bed!

Robert Muse

You find out this episode

Adam Martin

I got choked in the kitchen from laughing so hard

Adam Martin

Shouldn’t have eaten all that pork.

J. Vizzle

Darn kids these days!

J. Vizzle

ChatGPT 4.0 ftw Here's a short section of fake lore about the Citation Needed guys, written in the style of My Immortal: CHAPTER 666: THE DARK PROPHECY OF CITATION NEEDED I woke up in my coffin (cuz I’m a vampyre) and put on my black leather trenchcoat with blood-red lining. My combat boots clunked as I stepped out into the dark, stormy night. Thunder roared like an angry demon. "Tonight… I must seek the ones who know… the Dark Lore." I walked down the long, black hallway of my Gothic castle (which is in the middle of a dark forest, don’t question it) until I reached the Forbidden Podcast Chamber. Inside, there sat the Four Elders of Citation Needed—their faces cloaked in shadows. Eli Bosnick, the Master of Sarcasm, raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Ah, Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way… we have been expecting u.” Noah Lugeons, the Prophet of Skepticism, sipped his blood-red Monster energy drink and scowled. “The prophecy foretold that one would come… with a THICC black trenchcoat… and disturbingly specific eyeliner.” “Oh my Satan!” I gasped, flipping my middle finger at them sexily. “What prophecy??” Heath Enwright, the Dark Jester, let out an evil chuckle and tossed a black leather-bound book onto the obsidian table. “The Dark Lore of Wikipedia,” he whispered, “it has… the citations…” My pale skin turned even paler. “U MEAN… THE TRUTH??” Suddenly, the room was filled with fire and darkness. A shadowy figure emerged from the flames. It was DUMBLEDORE!!! But he was EVIL now and also shirtless for some reason. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU MOTHERF***ERS?!!” he shouted, summoning a black fireball in his hands. Eli stood up dramatically, his trenchcoat billowing despite the fact that we were indoors. “There is no time… we must fight.” Noah cracked his knuckles. Heath flipped his hair sexily. And behind them, Thomas Smith, the Wise One, simply sighed and muttered, “Oh for f***’s sake.” TO BE CONTINUED…??? PS - ChatGPT knows some of your names lol

Lemon Stealing Horse

Yes. I need a mega cut of all this to listen to when times get dark. You know, like a second trump presidency.

Diego Guzmán

This... shit... is... amazinggggg

Maggie

I speak for everyone when I say this is exactly what we needed today

Icculus90

*Sir Francis Bacon

Scot Boeringer

you know, I really can’t be arsed to look, but could somebody tell me how many more chapters there are in this book? Fangs.

Fren

Heath flipping his hair sexily must be a sight to behold

Claire Nollet

Every time I hear one of these MI episodes, I'm convinced I'm having a stroke in my receptive speech centers of my brain.

Jasamnajbolja

"Professor Slutborn" has killed me. Im relistening to all of these in order and im in tears

every voice listening

SNOOP GARBED THE CARAMEL SNOOP GARBED THE CARAMEL SNOOP GARBED THE CARAMEL ... and now we wait.

WelcomeToFalse

Thanks to this series, I now know what a drunken stroke sounds like.

WelcomeToFalse

I’m always amused at the “you fucking preps are just jealous” claims. These characters all have the same shitty personality: two parts performative misery, one part “no true Scotsman” fallacy, with a twist of Tim Burton fandom. They’re less colorful hipsters, who fetishize depression and self harm. Jealous, indeed.