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Patron Extra: The Frank Dux Kumite Article (Patreon)

Published:
2022-09-16 23:53:02
Imported:
2026-06

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Content

A little something extra for our patrons this month! As promised, here is our skeptical (and heavily annotated) read of the original Black Belt magazine article that promoted Frank Dux's nonsensical fantasies into the larger world.Enjoy!

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Comments

Jon Herrin

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! COME AT ME BRO! AND BRING YOUR MAGIC -- WHATEVER IT IS!

Perniciousducks

Okay, I want to check the math… if you are fighting 20 matches a day in single elimination for 3 days… doesn’t that require 2^60 competitors?

Kroll the Swolbold

The reason that Dux went in so much more detail on the cup situation than the actual fighting is that while he never fought in a Kuma te, there are few people more likely to be constantly kicked in the nuts than Frank.

The Rambling Shepherd (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-08 13:00 Slight error--there wouldn't have been 2^60 people in the first round. There would've been 2^60 PER WEIGHT CLASS. So...around a billion times the population of the earth in 1975.
2022-09-17 04:53

outaspaceman

Shhh..! I’m dancing a Manly Tango..💃

Denise Huston

A hip CUP. So a cup that fits over a movable joint that you use to move, or say, TO KICK. Frank, how do YOU think that would work?

Denise Huston

No throat strikes because we wouldn't want to GET HURT at the tournament where a condition of winning is to make your opponent UNCONSCIOUS.

Jon Herrin

Wait. That guy is sponsored by Coors? The beer company?

Gmork

Couldn't some of the twenty be for some weight classes and some from other classes?

fried goo

This was great! This show is the best. Thank you for the bonus stuff. So, from the original '95 Mortal Kombat movie.. I have Tom as Johnny Cage because just punch the bad guy in the nuts and get it over with. Cecil is Scorpion because he does a pretty good "Get over here!". Plus, I'm pretty sure they both know how to wear the vibranium hip-plate dong-gong properly. Noah is Liu Kang. Make him angry enough and sparks make bad guys fly into spikes. Eli is Goro. Because you know Goro's shenanigans are so similar. Just like their demise. Heath is Raiden. Raiden is tall, doesn't do much in the way of fighting, keeps the movie afloat like ballast. Raiden's staff might as well be a blunderbuss.

Revan

I thought that cover pic was made up by Ian until I looked it up and it is the real one. It is as stupid as the story Dux told. Love the movie. Dux and Steven Segal ought to be best friends in their jodo.

Gmork

Don Ford is DLC.

Kingyam

All these linear arenas sounds discriminatory to non-Euclidean fighters.

Gina Va

Shut up and take more of my money. Good stuff, guys. Thanks!

Unofficial_Opinion

I need a transcript plz! I fucking lost it at the Eli training adjustments for next year.

GenmuLVLX

Imagine if you were, the greatest martial artist in the world. And you lost the super-duper-secret-totally-real greatest karate tournament because when you walk into the arena you see it. A inverted cone filled completely with pears. At least the pears were tasty though.

Austin Enverba

I generally go to bat for tae kwon do but finding out Eli is a second degree black belt and I’m only the 1st is eye opening…. Haven’t been in 10 years also lol

Bex

This was brilliant. Thank you! I'm still trying to wrap my head around the selection process. You have to have the endorsement of your dojo chief instructor at the green belt rank (most of whom aren't ecstatic for you to go train in other arts), get monitored for 5 years in that art to make sure you're qualified, but you also need to be cross trained in several other arts to win because the real winning move is hair pulling, which can knock you out in about 18 seconds... I'm so confused.

Hard in Hightown

Whenever Eli’s voice enters dog whistle territory my joy becomes uncontainable.