devotion undying [chapter 2] (Patreon)

Isobel woke lathered in cold sweat, choking on a dry cough. Shards of ice ripped through her heaving lungs. She panicked, trying to sit up, but Aylin’s heavy arm lay draped over her waist, pinning her to the bed. All she could do was grit her teeth and endure. She dug her tongue into the roof of her mouth, holding as still as possible so she wouldn’t wake Aylin.

At last, the cold fist in Isobel’s chest relaxed its claws. She heaved a deep sigh. Thankfully, Aylin remained fast asleep beside her. Silver moonbeams streamed in through the window, softening the alpha’s noble features. Most of her gilded scars were new, but Aylin’s proud jaw, regal nose, and shapely brow were exactly as Isobel remembered, like a gorgeous statue given the warm kiss of life.

Despite the lingering pain, a smile spread across Isobel’s face. She reached out to stroke Aylin’s cheek but her hand hesitated, hovering inches away. Something within her stomach squirmed, repulsed. She dared not taint such divine beauty with her cursed touch. She slipped free of Aylin’s arm, leaving the warmth and safety of her mate’s embrace.

The crisp night air offered little comfort. Isobel shuffled to the wash basin, listening for the steady sound of Aylin’s breathing. Aylin groaned, then began snoring uproariously, clutching Isobel’s pillow.

Isobel’s heart clenched. She could scarcely believe Aylin had returned to her alive and, mostly, whole. In body, at least. The soul was another matter, as she well knew.

Dipping a cloth in the basin, Isobel wiped her sticky face with water. Her skin crawled. She couldn’t tell whether she was freezing or burning with fever. Side effects of an unscheduled heat, plus the lingering symptoms of her untimely resurrection.

Her head floated to a far-off place she’d become well-acquainted with since undeath: a dark and lonely layer of existence all her own, which felt strangely separate from good old prime material somehow. There, she was removed from everything and everyone else else, with only the touch of the grave for company.

Off—I need to get it off!

With a grimace, Isobel rubbed her chest and arms with the washcloth, a futile attempt to scrub the clinging shadow of death from her skin. She scrubbed her pale skin pink, shivering all the while. But the cold lived underneath her skin. It had made its home in her very marrow, where she couldn’t wash it away.

“My love?”

The sound of Aylin’s low, familiar voice and the pull of her scent from the bed tugged Isobel back to reality. A wave of alpha pheromones washed over her, making her vision swim and her knees wobble. Every joint and tendon ached, all the raised hairs on her arms and legs bristling with a different kind of pain. A familiar fire grew in her belly and sticky heat dripped from between her legs.

She’d meant to cleanse herself. To splash her sallow skin with cold water and shock some color back into her drained flesh. To wash off the lingering scent of the mausoleum before Aylin’s keen nose sniffed it out—unless she already had, and was simply too polite or overwhelmed by their emotional reunion to mention it…

“I’m fine,” Isobel said, disappointed by the uncertain wobble in her voice. “Go back to sleep.” She kept her eyes fixed on the weathered floorboards, refusing to look up. If she gazed upon Aylin, she feared her lover would finally see, finally know the wretched truth of her existence.

The bed groaned as Aylin rose, the boards creaking beneath her feet. Isobel made a statue of herself, refusing to move an inch. She knew exactly what would happen next. Aylin would attempt to reassure her. Aylin, loyal to a fault, would never even dream of leaving her side. Such a selfless alpha was incapable of abandoning her mate.

That truth, more than any other, frightened Isobel to her bones. If she was irrevocably broken, and Aylin honor-bound to stay by her side, what sort of life could they lead? One altogether too short and filled with tragedy.

Aylin’s arms wrapped around Isobel from behind, her downy white wings enveloping them both in warmth and safety. “Speak to me, my darling,” Aylin whispered, her lips grazing Isobel’s shoulder. “Why do you flinch and tremble so?”

The fist in Isobel’s chest gripped harder. She gripped Aylin’s forearms, counting her breaths, taking the measure of each thumping heartbeat. Her head and heart pounded in conflicting rhythms. One was a cold, grasping pain that dug into her flesh like icy needles; the other, a pulsing fire that bloomed and dripped from between her legs.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” Isobel said. She’d known from the start that she’d come back wrong. Broken. Weak as a newborn kitten one day, channeling blinding white power the next—raw divine magic for which she was a mere conduit. It made sense that her heats would become similarly unpredictable…

Aylin kissed the top of Isobel’s head. “I will always worry, mate of mine.” Her hands passed over Isobel’s hips, stroking her upper thighs in reassurance. “But you needn’t worry for me. By Selûne’s grace, we are reunited at last, and you are all I need.”

“But…” Isobel moaned at Aylin’s touch, a soothing balm to her burning skin. Sword callused, but unwaveringly gentle, Aylin’s hands were the only medicine she needed. She pushed her backside into Aylin’s pelvis, letting slip a desperate whine as the hard length of Aylin’s cock pressed against her lower back.

Aylin laughed, low and affectionate. “Come, beloved mine. You deserve better than the floor. To bed with you, before your scent drives me mad.” She scooped Isobel into her arms and swept her back amidst the tangled sheets, resting her gently upon her stomach.

Isobel tried to push herself up, but her limbs were too weak. She could only clutch the tangled covers, praying Aylin would slake her unbearable thirst without recoiling in disgust. Relief shuddered through her body as Aylin’s muscular frame settled over hers, wrapping her in a cocoon of white feathers.

As Aylin’s soft lips caressed the nape of her neck, a tendril of fear wormed its way through the corridors of Isobel’s heart. What if she notices this time? What if she smells, or sees, how I’ve changed? What if…?

Aylin paused, inhaling beside Isobel’s neck.

Isobel closed her eyes, biting her lip.

“You smell divine, my love.”

Isobel gave a shaky exhale. Too weak to summon words, she encouraged Aylin by moaning and spreading her legs.

Aylin stroked Isobel with fingers first, spreading the slick heat around and over the swollen bud of her clit. Despite Isobel’s misgivings, she released a tide of wetness at Aylin’s touch. “Good,” Aylin cooed, massaging Isobel’s clit with two fingers on either side. “Now, open for me.”

Isobel gasped as Aylin’s pelvis pressed against her backside. Aylin’s wings stirred. A few snow-white feathers fluttered down onto the bed as she aligned their hips. The tip of her cock grazed Isobel’s entrance, coaxing out another gush of warmth.

Please…

Isobel knew wanting Aylin as terribly as she did was weak, selfish, and shameful. She was no longer the innocent young omega whose fresh-eyed perspective had inspired love in an immortal alpha’s heart. She was a shadow of her former self, yet she still wanted Aylin terribly.

Aylin, who knew her so well even after a century apart, seemed to sense Isobel’s uncertainty. Instead of pushing inside, she nuzzled Isobel’s throat, kissing the mating scar there. “Where is your joy, mate of mine? Your body calls to me, yet I feel you hesitate.”

Tears welled in Isobel’s eyes. A violent tremor took her, traveling through her body and into Aylin’s. Every inch of her ached for the claim of Aylin’s teeth, her hands, her cock. When Aylin had made love to her earlier that night, she’d felt truly alive again for the first time since her resurrection.

And yet.

I am broken.

She buried her face in the pillow, failing to stifle a sob.

Aylin rolled off Isobel’s back and pulled her into a loving embrace. “There there, my darling. Dry your tears.” She guided Isobel’s face into her chest, stroking the length of her spine with soothing fingers and kissing the top of her head. “Wicked Shar herself could not tear me away from you again.”

Isobel cried into Aylin’s shoulder, heaving with deep, guttural sobs. The fist in her chest squeezed until she could scarcely breathe. “I—I can’t,” she choked out, staring up at Aylin through the blur of tears. Warm trails cut down her cheeks. “Don’t you see? I should have stayed dead! I’m not—I’m no good for you anymore…”

I’m weak. Frightened. Burdensome. No match for a demigod anymore, if I ever was.

Aylin gasped. Her brows furrowed with hurt and her wounded blue eyes shimmered with silvery tears. “My love, never say such things!” She hugged Isobel tighter, burying her face in Isobel’s hair. “Darling Isobel—you beautiful, silly girl. What were those wise words you said mere hours ago? No matter how much everything else may change, my love for you never will.”

It wasn’t the same, but Isobel had no idea how to explain her reasoning. Perhaps there was no reason behind it, only pure emotion. Tears leaked from her eyes as she lifted her head, gazing up into Aylin’s shining face, as pale and beautiful as the full moon.

How could she possibly explain it all? Her new ailment was more than an errant cough. It was sickly fever and weakness. Icy pain that ebbed and flowed, leaving her bed-bound on the worst days. Stormy resentment and dark despair for what she’d lost—what had been taken from her by her own father, the man who professed to love her most of all. Even innocent animals avoided her, sensing the shadowy hand of death upon her.

Aylin rested their foreheads together, caressing the base of Isobel’s spine with a reassuring hand. “If you shall have me, broken as I am, I shall have you also, broken or not.”

It was exactly what Isobel had feared most, and yet she couldn’t refuse. She didn’t have the strength. She needed Aylin like air, like the caress of moonlight upon her skin. She needed her mate. She couldn’t manage a yes or a no, only her mate’s name. “Aylin…”

“Let me show you, my love, as you have shown me.” Aylin kissed the tears from Isobel’s cheeks, then rolled onto her back, urging Isobel to straddle her hips.

Isobel didn’t trust herself, but she trusted Aylin. She relaxed, allowing Aylin to lead their dance. Aylin’s hands found her hips, and Isobel submitted to their strong yet gentle guidance. When she settled over Aylin’s cock, she picked up a sliding motion, rubbing along the hard shaft and coating it in slickness.

“Take your time,” Aylin murmured, stroking Isobel’s thighs with sword-calloused palms. Her hands settled on Isobel’s hips, not pulling down, but offering support. “Heat or no, I would never see you rush yourself.”

“You needn’t worry about that.” Isobel’s hips twitched as her clit nudged the crown of Aylin’s cock. Her self-loathing crumbled in the face of raw physical desire: an omega’s desire for her mate. Heat-fever had banished the cold from her bones. Her core clenched, seeking the stretch of Aylin’s cock. She grasped Aylin with a shaking hand and guided her in.

They both gasped as Aylin’s tip sank inside. Its size was enough to steal the breath from Isobel’s lungs, but it didn’t hurt. She’d always believed her body had been made just to house Aylin. A silly, romantic notion, but one that persisted.

Settling her pelvis against Aylin’s, Isobel took a moment to adjust to the deep, aching stretch. She gazed down at Aylin’s face, which shone with joy and wonder as bright as the moon, and the shadows of doubt receded further. It was the expression of a woman delirious with love and desire, all for her.

If this was truly how Aylin saw her, even this new version of her, perhaps she wasn’t as corrupted as she’d thought. Perhaps something of her former self, though forever changed, still existed.

Feeling freer than she had in months, Isobel leaned back, bracing her hands on Aylin’s thighs. She knew her mate loved nothing more than to gaze upon her in this position, and she wanted Aylin to have the best possible view. Aylin deserved all of her and so much more.

Aylin gave Isobel’s hips a gentle squeeze. “At your pace, dear heart,” she said, though the fullness throbbing along her length told Isobel of her mate’s impatience. Her inner walls squeezed in response, causing Aylin’s full lips to part in a soft ‘o’. The low groan that followed made Isobel’s nipples tighten against the cool night air.

Slowly, Isobel rocked her hips, forward and back at first, then rising a few inches before sinking back down. Though she loved the way Aylin felt pushing into her, Isobel couldn’t quite let her go. She wanted Aylin to stay inside her as much as possible. Still, the rhythm she found made Aylin stir within, pushing precisely where Isobel needed most.

Aylin’s hands tightened on Isobel’s hips. “What a wonder you are,” she said, her voice strained with emotion. The brightness of her pale blue eyes reminded Isobel of a clear winter sky, but they held all the warmth of summer. “To know you are mine alone… I can scarcely believe it. I would trade immortality for one kiss from your sacred lips in an instant.”

A wide, open-mouthed smile spread across Isobel’s face. The cold was gone, and though the blazing heat persisted, it no longer felt feverish. It was a melting, relaxing heat that loosened her muscles and opened the fist that had crushed her heart in its grip for far too long. A sob broke in her chest as something deep within unraveled at last. She surrendered the whole of herself to Aylin’s low voice, her sweet scent, her comforting presence.

Isobel moved faster, locking eyes with Aylin all the while. Within them, she felt worthy again. Beautiful. Whole. The melting heat within built quickly, causing her to shiver and clench around Aylin. She gave a soft whimper as one of Aylin’s hands slipped between her legs, toying with her clit.

“I won’t last,” Isobel gasped, biting her lip. Her core pulsed around Aylin, deep pressure growing within. Her abdominals fluttered every time the growing swell of Aylin’s knot nudged the sensitive spot against her front wall. She’d forgotten how much she loved feeling Aylin’s knot form within her. Almost as much as she loved feeling it push inside at its full size. In this moment, the gentler stretch was nothing less than perfect.

Aylin’s long blonde lashes fluttered, a rare pink flush spreading across her pale, gold-threaded marble skin. “Neither will I, my darling.” The nails of her left hand dug into the soft flesh of Isobel’s hip just enough to make their presence known, while the fingers of her right sped up, circling Isobel’s clit with purpose.

Isobel couldn’t find any more reason to deny herself. If Aylin wanted her, Aylin would have her. The whole of her, broken bits and all. She rose a few inches, until the base of Aylin’s knot tugged and teased her entrance, then pushed down, rocking her hips forward and allowing the final threads of restraint to snap under the beautiful tension of their shared bond.

Her orgasm utterly destroyed her. She’d known it would be intense, but the tidal wave of release that crashed over her sent Isobel sagging forward onto the bed. She threw out her palms to brace herself on the mattress, fisting the sheets as she spilled around Aylin’s knot. The white-hot fire of her heat became something greater, something vast and churning like the ocean itself. She cleaved to Aylin like the tides to the shore, ever-shifting, but closer than close.

Another wave of bliss swept over her as Aylin’s hips bucked, pushing deeper still and flooding her with warmth. Each pulse sent a deep pang of longing through Isobel’s flush, trembling body. She had no idea whether her resurrected body was capable of carrying children, but the thought alone made her squeeze tighter and sob Aylin’s name.

She wished. Oh, how she wished…

Isobel kept coming while Aylin filled her, until they were both spent and dripping with sweat. She collapsed on top of Aylin, sighing at the familiar way their planes and curves fit. A lazy smile tugged at her lips as her core stopped twitching and Aylin finished pulsing with one last, gentle thrust. Aylin’s arms and wings wrapped around her right away.

“Thank you,” Isobel murmured, burying her nose in Aylin’s shoulder. The smell of sex and sweat mingled with the more delicate scent of flowers on the night breeze. Aylin smelled like home.

Aylin’s hands smoothed soothing patterns across her back. “No need for thanks, my love. I only wish you had woken me sooner. I know what it is to suffer alone in the dark, but we needn’t bear our burdens in solitude any longer.”

“Hold me a while,” Isobel said. A tear rolled down her cheek and onto Aylin’s collarbone. “I just… need you to hold me.”

Aylin’s arms tightened around her, gentle and strong and sure. “Forever and a day.”

For the first time in her new un-life, Isobel felt clean. Marked with sweat and sex, but with her soul rejuvenated, she closed her eyes and listened to the steady thump of Aylin’s heart beneath her ear. Maybe things weren’t too good to be true after all. Maybe the flickering candle of her faith hadn’t gone out. Maybe she and Aylin still fit together, broken pieces and all.