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Caleb 71 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-09-09 00:07:03
Imported:
2026-06
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  • Caleb 71 - Sarah and Arnie.docx
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Comments

Azaria

I think I'm almost as nervous about the conversation as Sarah is... Thanks for another well written chapter.

J.D.

Great chapter. I did notice in the last little paragraph at the end of the story Caleb mentions brining Sarah. The picture in my head when I read that was unexpectedly funny. Not a huge error but some just happen to be silly enough to be enjoyable for me. I think I shall blame it on my 3rd grade sense of humour.

David Long

Loved the chapter. Glad to see the a calm reaction to the twins sharing. Loved him talking to Mary about it and telling her he loves her. Shows that he is maturing about their sharing and not losing his mind about it.

Robots101

I hate to say it but somewhere along the way the story lost its soul. A few weeks back you release something about powers in this universe but you barely reference them in any of your stories anymore. The characters that you have built up and that we love have become background scenery. Ness used to have depth now she is Amanda 2.0. Mary is a shell of a character she used to be and Jules has become a chameleon with the way she blends into the background. I think the main problem is you just added way too many characters

Pastmaster
>>118218175

I'm sorry you feel that way, but I must disagree. This story is about a boy, coming to be a man, who discovers he has powers. The powers are just one aspect of his life and although something he may or may not use in trifling ways on a day to day basis, not his whole life. He has a family, and this is their story. Caleb's power is such that were he to use it all the time, the story would be - Caleb wants something, Caleb uses power, Caleb gets what he wants, and that would become boring very quickly. Once he joins the FBI and starts to encounter real criminal power users I've no doubt that things will become more power orientated, but he's not there yet and there are only so many things that can happen to one man without stretching the bounds of incredulity. In fact I believe we are probably beyond that already. Having said that - if this story isn't for you - then it isn't and I hope you find one more to your liking.

weirdo rhino411

Probably really late in the story to ask this but how did you choose Portland as home for Caleb? I’m familiar with Portland so just wondering.

Pastmaster

It may surprise you to know that it was completely arbitrary. I actually liked the acronym PSU for the school - and it was a coin flip between Penn State and Portland State.

expat953

I am amused by the American setting but told with UK English spelling and some words that are probably unfamiliar to Americans. Great story though. Please keep the chapters coming.

J H

Oh, good choice not doing Penn State; the Nittany Lion fans probably would have put each setting you described under a microscope and been after you for any slip ups! The Portland crowd is MUCH more relaxed and forgiving! ;- ) As always, really looking forward to the next chapter!

L

I'm really looking forward every week for the new story! I like that it doesn't feel rushed and there is time for little sidestorys. I really like al the little details you put in your story. I hope your (not so new anymore) job still is fun and gives you enough time to write these awesome storys