Third Eye, Book 1, Draft 6 Download (Patreon)

The newest version of Third Eye Book 1 is complete! this is the final version before illustrations are added, so it's pretty much done text-wise. The only changes from here on out are adjustments of descriptions based on future character designs and illustrations.

Aside from spelling and grammar changes, some major changes include:

• New character, Tangrath replaces  Selena's old landlord.
  The old character, Mr Redbone wasn't really anything worth noting. He felt like a placeholder character and didn't encapsulate the feeling I wanted readers to get when meeting a new demon. They should be characters that make you want to see the next demon from how inhuman and monstrous they are. Redbone was just a guy who was mad. Who cares?
  
• The narration is far less abrasive towards the bobcats.
  In the very first draft, the narration was even more hostile towards Rich, Dave and Ian, if you can believe it. The previous draft was less mean, but still framed them immediately as obnoxious and characters the reader shouldn't like.
  I would rather the reader develop their own opinion of the bobcats. Instead of me telling them what they should think. If they think they're just good old guys somehow, that's on them. Maybe they are actually good guys? Who knows? That's for you to decide.
  
• Video game dialogue has been pretty much entirely cut
  One of the most common comment I've received was how difficult it was to read video game chapters when two sets of characters were talking, one in the real world, and one behind the television. So I axed the dialogue in the game
  This was mainly done because the game's dialogue consisted of Eleonore saying some tight ass shit, and then the other two guys would say something like
  "Oh, ye has touched my headparts straighteth on me brainparts!"
  Not a lot is lost by shortening it down to a summary of their speaking style. 

Aside from that, it was some general changes to keep up with the overall story's canon and some better jokes. Hope you likes it!