A health update... (Patreon)

Hello everyone! I hope this message finds you all happy and healthy!

Thank you all for your well wishes during my absence/hiatus/break from youtube, honestly  your messages have really helped keep me going during this time and I honestly thank each and everyone of you who have reached out. 

So why did I take a break? 

For those of you who don't know, in 2019 I was diagnosed with subacute thyroiditis which manifested itself into hyperthyroidism (over-active thyroid) in which I was rushed to the emergency room and treated for thyrotoxicosis, a life threatening condition which would have lead to a heart attack or coma, luckily I got there just before that fun stuff happened, and  after a successful treatment, my thyroid went pretty much back to normal. 

Until last month...where it decided to turn slightly under-active causing sub-clinical hypothyroidism (under-active thyroid). 

I was feeling weak, fatigued, un-motivated to do anything, I was gaining weight despite working out 6 days a week and eating very healthy and clean. My nails were splitting vertically and I was severely (and uncharacteristically) depressed. It felt like someone had just paused my life and shoved me in a body that wasn't mine. 

Now, my endocrinologist wont medicate me at this time, though my blood is being monitored every 3 months. I think he worried that with medication I will go back to being hyperthyroid (over-active) again. Needless to say, I felt frustrated and helpless and totally trapped in my body. 

So, I took a break. I stopped doing everything. I let my body and my mind rest. I read books, I did things which made me feel happy and good. I ate all the pizza(!) rode my bike and watched some awesome TV shows (SERVANT on appleTV; if you haven't seen it DO!)

I am still not 100% but definitely better than what I was. Sometimes hitting the pause button is just what our bodies need to recoup the energy again, ready for round 2! 

Unfortunately, the reality is for now, I am going to have to live feeling like this, until either my thyroid levels sort themselves out naturally, or I am put on medication. How long that will take, I have no idea. But I am determined not to let it affect my life any more than what it has, which is why I am being sensible and realistic with my work and life commitments and making some changes. 

I am slowly coming back to filming for this channel this month, but I need to be mindfull and realistic with how much content I can output at this time. And I want to be transparent with you all about that. 

For now, this is what I have decided is a good starting point. Again, I am not holding myself to this and know that flexibility is the key to making this work! 

1) x2 videos a month on YouTube - these will be elaborate role-plays only. I have decided to do this for 2 reasons. Reason 1 - they are fun to make! And reason 2 they are the most popular videos on my channel, so will help keep me relevant and 'in the eye' of the YouTube gods!

2) x1 Patreon Only video a month - this will be more chilled and 'old-school' style ASMR. EG, sounds, guided relaxations, show n tells etc. 

I know that this will probably spell the end of my channel in terms of views, subscribers and monetisation, and for a while, I really stressed out about this. But what I have realised is that health is much more important than any of this stuff and I know that someone somewhere will find and enjoy my videos, which I why I started this channel in the first place. 

So, if you have made it this far, thank you so much for reading this epic update! Please feel free to send me a message or leave a comment if you would like :D 

I love you all to bits. Thank you always for your continued love and support. 

xoxo