Barbie (Patreon)

“Oh Barbie, you’re so good at this.”

Barbie had to admit, in a way to not sound so arrogant, that she was indeed good at this. Then again, she was just good at anything. Not that hard to be perfect when one was a Barbie. All of her friends at her Barbie mansion were playing tennis with her, as Barbie was playing against not one player, but 8. Despite the 8 players also being very good at the game and working together, swinging 8 balls right at her, Barbie gracefully leaped in the air and spinning, struck 8 balls heading at her in 8 different directions and speeds as if she could guide herself along the way. None of her opponents could even stop the balls coming for them, scoring Barbie yet another 120 points. Not that any of her opponents were mad at her, she was Barbie, being better than them was to be expected. This was Barbie’s world, and they were all just living in it rent free. Barbie herself didn’t feel any shame in defeating such inferior foes. To her, she was training them to be better. One of their swings almost looked complicated for a brief second before Barbie analyzed perfectly how to deflect it right back. Still, it deserved praise.

“Ken 3#, your backhand is really improving! I bet you’re a master stroker!”

“Wow, thanks Barbie, I tend to think about you a lot when I practice my stroking.”

“If it helps you get even better, think as much as you want about me when you master your stroking.”

Neither Barbie nor the Ken’s or others even knew why ‘colorful’ language they were using. They were far too innocent to even fathom such naughty language. For all of them, this was a dream world of eternal pink and adorableness. It was a world that had best Barbie, astronaut Barbie, Doctor Barbie, librarian Barbie, a bunch of Ken’s, and more! Like fluffy octopus or big polar bears dressed like fire fighters or walking talking cameras and plenty more. Best Barbie tended to just call herself Barbie while the other Barbie’s had their own names, like how librarian Barbie was named Toni. Best Barbie was considered the best for one important reason, beyond the fact that everyone there just agreed she was the best. Best Barbie was the first toy that Suki ever got when she came to America.

To them, they were flesh and blood and just as real as you and I. As all toys tended to be when their child gives them the imagination to do so. To Suki, Barbie was just a small plastic fit with fake blonde hair. But if one was to be in this world, they would see a gorgeous goddess of 5’10 perfection with golden like hair and a mega watt smile that would blind just about anyone who saw. Barbie was more than real, she was alive, and so were every other toy in there. A small child’s playroom was a metropolis of life for them, all forged because of their one unifying factor. The love they all shared for Suki and each other. Suki was nice to them, and so they were made happier for it. Though even toys like to play with themselves instead of just their owner. All of these beings playing their games and talking with each other did so in secret, having as much fun as they can when their kid wasn’t there.

Thus when the door opened, the world changed. What was once flesh was now plastic. The toys immediately ‘shrunk’ and the magic went away. Not because the toys disliked Suki, but because she was the one in charge of the imagination as she was there. At the door frame, was the one being none of them challenged, the 3’8 9 year old Suki. Suki’s face was covered in paint and she was dressed in a monstrosity that would make even Barbie feel she couldn’t pull it off. Not that any of the toys really minded, as Suki was already upon her toys and playing like crazy with them.  Suki had spent all day at what the toys knew as ‘school,’ which sounded beyond boring. Thankfully for them, Suki’s imagination was not yet dulled as she created a million scenarios for them. Such as for Willie the caterpillar that he was now a magical caterpillar that would envision such wacky wishes. Or how two of the Ken’s would preform a cook off for the fellow Barbies to eat. While Monica the astronaut Barbie thought a chocolate cheese super berry marshmallow would destroy her hips, she did still enjoy it as she was envisioning eating it.

The happiest of them all, was Barbie herself. Barbie loved Suki more than all of the other toys combined. As Barbie was Suki’s first, Suki was Barbie’s first kid. Suki made Barbie fly through the air, making up in her mind that Barbie was so good that she could fly. Barbie felt that cause of Suki, she really could. Suki was happy, and so were all the toys. Absolutely nothing could ruin this perfect moment. Because this was a child and toys, they have never heard of the concept of narrative irony.

“Suki, you should let your brother play with you.”

To give some context, Suki was from South Korea most of her life, but her mom worked a lot In America. After many years, she fell in love and married a very powerful and rich American businessman. A toy company CEO, in fact. Many of the toys Suki was given to by her mother were from her new father in laws company. While Suki didn’t like moving to America, her father in law seemed to be a nice man. She never had a brother. But when her mother asked her to play with her brother, the 9 year old girl cringed and almost dropped her Barbie on to the ground. Suki was 9 years old, but already she felt dread. Even a child this young and innocent had a bully. A 16 year old bully at that, named Andrew. A bully who was her brother in law. Andrew, despite his age and great size, never really grew up mentally. Suki had no time to resist before her pink paradise was obliterated in one fell swoop. Andrew rushed into the room, bringing his own toys to ‘play’ with Suki.

While Suki’s mother and the father were happy by what was going on, oblivious to what was going to happen, Andrew pulled in his own personal toy collection. A toy franchise that made his father 60 billion dollars. A toy franchise that obliterated all other military toys due to its massive popularity with people of all ages. Cosmic Bloodbath commandos. A massive toy line that sells more than crack, meth, and cocaine combined. Add in a mega popular comic book universe, a manga and manwha adaptation, a live action movie franchise, 2 different animated movies and an animated tv show, several board games and trading cards, the toy line was a juggernaut so massive it generated entire stores designed JUST to sell its merchandise, no less the actual products. Financial experts even say that if one was to put all the products of the toy line in an umbrella, from the toys to lunch boxes to posters to even condoms, their gross would rival NATO.

The lore of the series is about the US military opening a portal into space hell, and invading it and destroying it. Now armed with mystical artifacts, super advanced Mecha and armor, and the general bad attitudes of several tough marines who eat napalm for breakfast, now they go across the stars snuffing out said stars and paving the way of humanity upon planet after planet in the blood of those who dared to be in the way of their vehicles larger than skyscrapers. The franchise was high techno, modern day, and high fantasy all in one. Where magic was as common as cigars and war crimes. A franchise so beloved, actual riots formed in the streets just to get a popular variant of a character covered in GREEN blood instead of the regular red blood. The tagline of the toy juggernaut being ‘Not your dads toys, these can KICK THEIR PANSY ASSES!’ Because Andrew’s father was the proud owner of the license, Andrew got first dibs on every single design of the toy, some even suspecting the young Andrew to be the toy tester for every single one.

They would be right. Andrew was dragging in toy after toy, vehicles, massive weaponry, and even a ‘commando facility’ or two. Andrews speed to drag in all of these toys was genuinely impressive, in a rather terrifying way. The poor tiny Suvi was already cowering in the corner, trying to protect her toys from the invasion force. In less than 3 minutes, what was once Suvi’s little play room with all her toys and a pretty little palace for a tiny princess, was now D-Day meets Uber Hell. With the door closed and locked, Andrew chuckled as his toys were everywhere. Toys of rich varied designs that would give a child therapist a stroke in what this would do to a young child. Decaying grotesque gargoyles, armored soldiers full of blades that were literal knives shoved in them and carrying heavy weaponry that were even bigger than the toys carrying them. Monster truck proportioned humvees with tanks that were larger than a Barbie dream castle, hundreds of toys were in the room. Almost every single one in the toy line, with one major exception.

Andrew rejected ALL of the female designs of the series. Andrew HATED girl toys, so when he found out he had to share a room with Suvi with her girl toys… he never complained. He just told dad he was glad, and waited to do so, telling his dad he’d play just right with his new little kid sister. Now the giant Andrew, dressed in a black trench coat, a Mohawk in the colors of black and blood, and piercings on his face towered over Suvi as he grabbed her by a pigtail.

“Come on Suvi, let’s play with your toys, I’ll show you how brothers and sisters play.”

What happened next is… hard to describe. Mostly because as a narrator, I do not at all approve of child abuse. But I shall give you a ‘kiddy’ version of what he did to her. While Andrew never really smacked her around, he did ‘play’ with her. He would make her ‘fly’ as she cried for him to stop, pour the hot liquid from one of his bases toxic oil spills that were rejected by OSHA but he still kept from his down her head, he would have his toys fire their plastic weaponry at her. That may not sound too bad until you realized he paid people to mod the guns to fire at speeds that what was once harmless plastic was now powerful enough to bruise and even cut a young child’s skin. Suvi was in tears before Andrew was even halfway done terrorizing her, and he pressed on with the torture on as her toys watched in despair. They couldn’t do anything to save Suvi, not being allowed to harm a child, which Andrew qualified only as legally. Some would say the toys could have stopped him in another way. That was because the toys could ONLY see themselves harming a monster like him as he made a truck ride on her back. When it was over, Suvi was harmed but only just slightly. The mental torture was the real damage, and Suvi was barely alive from fear of what Andrew would do to her.

Any human being would have been horrified by making such a young child cry in terror as she huddled into a ball. Not Andrew, he decided to press on more. He now wanted to ‘play’ with her toys. But just before he got his hands on one, his phone messaged him. Andrew checked, and fired a few curses. Dinner time. Andrew pulled Suki by her arm and lifting her high up in the air, he pointed at her and growled in her face, his breath like venom to her.

“You got these bruises at school, you tell mom and dad that, or I’ll throw you out the window. Got it, twerp? You think I won’t? You KNOW what I’m like, I’ll do it. Got it?!”

Suvi was too terrified to resist, and nodded her head. Andrew grinned, glad he broke the ‘twerp’ and dragged her behind himself, thinking how best to tell their parents the ‘horrible stories’ Suvi had of school. As the door was closed behind them, Suvi’s toys were in tears. This was HORRIBLE! Never before had they seen such horror visited upon another. One Ken was even in tears as the fuzzy squid hugged him for comfort. What was normally a turn to wonder when Suvi left so the toys could talk about how much fun it was to be with her, now it felt like something big had broke. Innocence lost in the single most tragic event. The toys could not forget the terror that was wrecked upon Suvi. While they were all traumatized by what had happened, the toys were not alone. Suvi’s toys were surrounded by Andrew toys, and now they were coming to life themselves. They expected their old punk heaven to at least distract from the carnage they were forced to witness. That was not even  close to what happened. What they instead saw warp around them… was hell.

Hell in its worse grossest form. The sky was somehow both bleeding and on fire. The rivers that surrounded their town was now molten magma, belching up ash and more when they could. Lightning storms crackled the sky as blood rained from them, and all the toys could hear were screams. Screams of pain and agony. Then, the louder screams. The screams of war. These were not screams from the world around them, but the toys that now were the surplus. From the mechanized battleizer battle masters to the war hungry crime dogs to even the cars, they all roared and screamed. They wanted blood, and they wanted combat. That was what they were built for, and they more than craved the life. They demanded more of it. Many of Suvi’s toys saw the bloodlust radiating from Andrew’s toys and hid. All, but one. One who stood up to them… and made a terrible horrible mistake. Poor old Ken 1#, a rather generic Ken as Ken’s would go, assumed something that he should not have assumed.

He assumed that they were toys just like him and the rest. Toys that of course, would be friends with each other when they can. It was why no matter how tough or mean they looked, no toy was really bad in the inside. How could any being designed to give joy to children be mean? He didn’t even question why instead of grabbing his hand when he went for a hand shake, they grabbed his head. Ken had no idea he was in danger right until he was thrown through the air and had lasers aimed at him.

“TARGET PRACTICE BOYS!”

Poor Ken was going to be filleted with enough bullets and lasers to destroy a mountain. Overkill to the absolute degree. Barbie saw that Ken was going to be eviscerated, and she had to save him. Looking around, she saw a beachball from the Hawaii set, and worked as quickly as she could to slide right to the ball. Grabbing it, she threw it as fast as she could, hoping her plan would work. Every single aim bot on the guns saw the object of the beach all, and so auto aimed right at it. Blowing it apart to smithereens, the soldiers cheered in absolute adulation, as poor Ken hit the body of a stuffed toy. Almost all of the girl toys hugged each other in fear, not certain of what they had just witnessed. They had done some rough horsing with each other before, but that was always play. This wasn’t play. This was cruel and abusive behavior meant just to hurt another. Something toys never did to each other. Or as they believed, until now. Now the toys were up against something that they had never imagined. Pure destructive carnage in toy form. These weren’t lovable toys whose only reason to exist was to bring joy to the world. These were toys designed for the purpose of evil and hate. Toys that LOVED the evil and hate inside of them.

The leader of the super hell marines, from the cosmic bloodbath marines series, was standing tall and attentive. A half cyborg, half werewolf, all marine. The lore of the Lt. Colonel KillMan was as long as the epic of Gilgamesh alone. But if the epic of Gilgamesh had the worst ‘explosions’ and ‘ripped them to shreds’ and ‘bloody guts’ repeated ad nauseam. Lt. Colonel KillMan was a large toy with rippling muscle, who had four arms. Two normal beefy arms that were thicker than Barbie herself, and two mechanical arms with a chainsaw and a laser cannon on each end. The Colonel towered over Barbie, even with her tall frame wearing her tallest heels, and the Colonel looked down at Barbie, and growled. It was a growl of anger, and lust. He had never seen a woman like her, mostly because the only women he met were alien queens he had to slaughter. Looking at Barbie, he peeked over her shoulder to get a good look of all of the other Barbie’s. Each and every single one just looked so perfect. The kind of women that you have a lot of fun with, and don’t worry at all about really hurting them. Because theirs no reason to care about women period.

All of the toy soldiers only see target practice, or concubines. They weren’t afraid to start demonstrating it very soon. The colonel was ready to be the first, as he grabbed the shoulder of Barbie. When Barbie felt his hand on her shoulder, something inside of her felt odd. Like she suddenly wanted to retch. She never felt like this when Ken or any of the guy toys touched her, and suddenly, something strong and internal in her was very disgusted that a… boy toy touched her. The very feeling she got from such a toy was the intent from it. To force itself upon her and violate her. That was what should have offended her, but Barbie felt she was offended for another reason. An extremely bizarre and odd reason that no toy should ever feel, especially a girl toy. The feeling of how dare this soldier try to have his way with me when he was so… so… weak. How could she think he was weak when he was clearly so much stronger. The difference between the two of them was grand. Yet as his hand rested on her shoulder, she kept thinking of how he didn’t actually feel strong to her. That for all he was, he was just a violent silly toy for violent silly boys.

Unlike Barbie, who was… everything. Barbie didn’t have much more time to think about it before more of the cosmic marines started heading towards the other Barbie’s. As the Barbie’s cowered in fear of the encroaching soldiers, Barbie herself was furious! They were actually going to force themselves on the other girls? How dare they! The idea of them violating her friends and hurting them caused something inside of Barbie to snap. She was supposed to get the happiest nicest toy in the world. A toy that any girl would call their best friend and see themselves a part of. Barbie was nice, sweet, kind, compassionate, and all that junk. But as one of the soldiers was about to put his hands on a scared and cowering Barbie who’s entire job was to be a vegetarian for sick sea lions, Barbie was everything… and than she was absolutely one thing.

MAD.

It was a feeling bursting inside of Barbie that was overwhelming her and even turning her red. Barbie had no idea what to do except one thing. Balling her well manicured hand into a fist, Barbie marched right towards one of the marines with one purpose in mind. The marine was easily 3x her size, and full of body armor and carrying more guns than Barbie carries purses. It didn’t matter who he was, he was trying to hurt her friend. Barbie grabbed his battle armor with one hand, and with a quick jerk, twisted him around to face her. The first thing to note is, for armor designed to protect one from frontal assaults by demons, it was shockingly fragile as it snapped right off when she grabbed said armor. The next thing he felt was that his arm, an arm that was as big as her torso, was ripped from the socket just by her pulling him away. The marine was in extreme agony, and the agony only got worse when her fist connected to his helmet. A helmet that was designed to take just about any ballistic weapon and protect the marine from harm exploded on impact with the fist against his helmet. It had served the marine well in his many fights over his life. It didn’t do a damn thing to even blunt the force of her punch to his helmet, and a blow that sent him careening in the air. In a moment, he was no longer a marine. He was a shooting star, and than, nothing. No one could see where he was, and suddenly, every eye was on Barbie.

Something that Barbie was more than used too. Though maybe not for what the marines were now considering her. A threat to their very existence that had to be eliminated. A threat that they were more than willing to do so, as they aimed every gun they had at their disposal at her. Barbie was surrounded, as artillery and flamethrowers and laser guns were all aimed at her. None of the cosmic marines ever suspected a civilian would attack them. Not that they minded. They loved flaying civilians the most, as they clicked on their neutron packs and aimed kill sights. Barbie saw the lasers pointed at her, her pink dress billowing and her long blonde hair flowing. As she looked at herself surrounded, the smart thing should have been to beg for her life. Hope that they were merciful enough to give it. Than Barbie thought, as she knew what they were going to do to her friends if she didn’t stop them… and cracked her neck and than her knuckles.

“Okay Boys, you got one chance. Put those guns down… or be put down.”

The cosmic marines heard what she had to say, and saw the determination and fury on her. The soldiers all broke into hysterics, laughing and trying not to cry from how funny it was. This had to be the single most ridiculous threat they ever heard from anyone. What was the worst she could do to them? Call them meanies and judge their fashion? One soldier was so busy laughing that he didn’t see Barbie in front of him, but he certainly felt her leg strike his face with a ferocious snap kick. The helmet was fractured instantly by the blow, and the soldiers skull as also harmed in an equally horrible way. It was at speeds that none of the soldiers could have predicted was possible for any of them, and all of them knew what they had to do to take her down. Open fire. Every soldier fired off as much as they could at Barbie, firing bullets, lasers, flame shots, radiation, explosives, and electricity. It was firepower of an unholy level. Enough to destroy just about anything that is impacted by the ongoing attacks, and leave them nothing but a formerly known as living organism. It was a hail fire of flashing colors and melting slag metal.

It was terrible to witness. Unless you were focused on the single most important thing there, soaring through the air and gracefully dodging every single attack. Barbie was grinning ear to ear as she twirled through the air, her skirt fluttering with her as it wasn’t even singed by any of the attacks trying and failing to hit Barbie. It was as if the soldiers weren’t even trying to aim at her and hit her. None of the soldiers knew how all of them could miss her. They were expert shots, and had aim assist on. The fact that so many of them were shooting at her should alone have made it certain they hit her. It was as if she was defying the very attacks coming at her in a way that was beyond human. One soldier, annoyed that he was constantly missingC had a plan to really take her out. Pulling something out of his pocket, he turned the device on and threw it right at Barbie. It was a plasma grenade, meant to erase everything in a distance. Far enough to keep him safe, but as it soared over her head, he knew would disintegrate her to nothing. Barbie saw the grenade come over her head, and just smiled. That would be easy to stop without even stopping her spinning in the air. Barbie grabbed the grenade that was about to explode, and normally after it was charged, it would superheat itself. It should have melted the skin off the bone of Barbie’s hands.

It didn’t even leave a scuff as she hurled the grenade at a legion of soldiers, and before it hit the ground, it already turned a squadron into mist. The marines knew they were now in danger, and if they were in danger, it meant they had to attack harder and faster. When Barbie landed on the ground, with a gentle perfect grace that only she could ever accomplish, she was able to hear a stampede. A rather brutal near animalistic one. It sounded like dozens of men were coming at her, brandishing odd weapons. Looked to be axes with chainsaws instead of the regular steel blade. It was a ridiculous child’s weapon, one that should never be used in fear it would just chop the person to pieces. Not that Barbie very much cared for the fate of these idiots, more in case any child could poke themselves in the eyes if they grabbed it. Barbie leaped right at the men, and knew the best way to get rid of such a dangerous toy, was to karate chop the weapons and break them. The carbon platinum rods, known to be near invincible, were cleaved in two like they were air, when Barbie struck them with her hand. The marines didn’t even have time to see what had happened to them before Barbie preformed a round house kick at 6 of them, breaking the necks of the marines with ease. One marine, bolder than most, charged at Barbie from behind and assumed he’d do fine. Unlike the rest, he was wearing spiked power armor that amplified his strength 100x more than his natural state. Given he was 4x her size and a super soldier, he was damn certain he’d crush her underfoot.

Barbie heard the oaf blundering towards her, and whipped her hair out as fast as she could at the attacker heading towards her. The hair struck the powered armor helmet of the soldier, lashing it apart very quickly. As it cleaved through his helmet and hit his face hard, Barbie also made sure her head wrapped around his neck. Barbie pulled her neck muscles, a neck thinner than his pinky, and instantly snapped the super thick neck. The marine was dead but before he even dropped dead, all she had to do was use him as a human club. Spinning the guy around with her hair, she used his body as a human club and crushed every single guy surrounding her. It was as if all they weren’t even there anymore, just pounding them down and around as quickly as she could. The soldiers hit the ground and most of them died from the impact. Those who had survived did not survive long as she lifted the guy up in the air with her hair and hit the men as they were on the ground. Various marines weren’t certain what was going on.

They never lost. They had beaten everything they had ever faced in their lives. No matter what it was, they just won. Giant monsters, dark gods, the dark versions of themselves, they won! How could they be losing to a pretty pink princess like Barbie?! This was not only harming their rep as soldiers, it was harming something more primal. Their worth as men. They can’t lose to a woman. Of all things they had ever faced, losing to her didn’t just feel wrong. It felt horribly terribly wrong. As if the entire universe, for them that is, would explode. Well, if an explosion was going to happen, they’ll give her one! Artillery fire was starting to bombard the area, normally a method used to take down gargantuan monsters or large scale armies. Not a single woman who was a slip compared to the soldiers. Barbie wasn’t worried at all as she saw the mortar fire and plasma bolts heading for her. What Barbie was worried about, was the splash factor that would hit all her friends. The Barbies, Ken’s, stuffed toys, and other dolls would be fried by such an attack. Barbie thought about rushing to save her friends. But where could she take them? The attack looked to be ready to take out all of Barbie Land, given it was hundreds upon hundreds of mortal shells and the plasma bolts were the size of Barbie’s pool, each! No, if Barbie was going to stop this barrage, she could only do one thing.

Barbie knew her years of doing yoga, acrobatics, and ballerina would serve her well. Barbie touched the ground and saw the marines around her bunch together to form energy shields to protect themselves. Even marines who were built and bred for war were terrified of what was coming. This was a city cleansing level of attack. Overkill? Not to Barbie. Barbie didn’t even run away from the center of the barrage, she was actually trying to find the center. Using her advanced calculus skills, she easily figured out what the center was, and leaped right towards it. It was an open center plain, or as Barbie and her fellow Barbies would call it, the braiding picnic section. How dare they try to explode and destroy the part of Barbieland where Barbie would braid her hair whenever she wants. Protecting this area became even more important, as her tippy toes touched the grass and Barbie began to spin as quickly as she could. The friction burst caused the ground under her to slightly burn, as air was being swallowed up by her spinning. Barbie’s spinning speed was more than enough to nearly suck everything up around her.

The soldiers around her felt their bodies moving towards her, and they looked up to see the barrage coming even closer to Barbie. It was as if she was attracting everyone to her. They had no idea why Barbie was being so suicidal at this very moment. Perhaps she had realized how doomed she was and so, finally accepted her death by going into insanity. It might be the only way any person could fathom their doom from the heavens above. Nothing could survive it, the men thought. Barbie wasn’t planning on the bombs and plasma hitting her, given her spinning was meant to direct everything to her. Guide them all towards her, so she could implement her perfect plan. A plan that would only be possible for one good reason. She was Barbie. Barbie was spinning with such speeds that it was obvious that everything would head towards her. So if they would come for her when she spun the right way, logically, what would happen if she span the opposite way? Barbie was grinning ear to ear when she instantly stopped her spinning, and then span twice as fast in the opposite direction. The sudden air burst caused by her instantly stopping and than spinning against caused  wind tunnel to form above her.

Firing off in the air, was a tornado of extreme power that smashed right through all the missiles and plasma balls. Weapons of mass destruction meant to kill Barbie in an overkill situation didn’t do a damn thing against her. The wind tore them to shreds and instead, left her safe and happy as the sky cleared up of anything and everything. Not even a single shred of steel or plasma was in the air, as she took it all out. The artillery units saw what had happened, after firing a barrage with enough power to destroy most of Barbie Land, and only had one response. Absolute terror and awe. They couldn’t believe what had happened, and didn’t know what to do or even think. They were now realizing what they were fighting, and it wasn’t even close to human. In reality, it was beyond human. Even Barbie had to admit, she was really realizing how powerful she was at this moment. Like nothing on Earth could stop her.

That’s what one colonel agreed with, that if nothing on Earth could stop her, then bring out something from out of Earth! He ordered in

‘THE DEATH CUBE’, the cosmic marines number one prison. The soldiers ordered to do so couldn’t believe what they were hearing, such a weapon was never used… period! It was not only too dangerous for them, it was just too dangerous for the universe. The colonel made his point clear after he shot one soldier in the head and ordered more. Still, as the cube was being set up, many more marines tried to fight against Barbie. All in the hope that one of them would succeed where the rest has failed. It didn’t matter who was sent after her or what they did, Barbie just mowed through them like they were putty in her hand. It was a great humiliation for the marines that countless hero after hero, men of action and valor unlike any other, was so easily thrown aside like trash when they confronted Barbie.

Such as Maxirus the blood soaked, infamous for his slayings of constant vampire orcs, who tried to slay Barbie with his phantom blade. Barbie chopped it to pieces with her hand acting like a karate chop. Maxirus had no idea what to even think before she soaked him in blood with a karate chop that broke right past his armor like it was nothing. Lucian the quick blade, the single fastest warrior and n the marines, thought that his speed would slide her apart to ribbons. With bladed gauntlets and a jet pack on his back, he flew at her full force, and threw the single fastest punch that he ever thrown in his life. Barbie dodged it easily, yawning at how slow the punch was. Barbie didn’t even have to try to dodge his rather sloppy and slow attacks, before she fired a kick to his face, crunching most of his skull with the force of her leg. The hero was taken out with speed he couldn’t even fathom and was sent flying fast and hard. Even Crallior the great, the strongest of the strongest, was unable to do a single thing to stop Barbie. When he marched towards Barbie, the very ground itself shook from his footsteps.

Even without his armor, he was considered a great giant by everyone who knew him. He was  easily the biggest marine there, and if one remembers that these are toys, he was the same size of the artillery. He was over 10 feet tall in the toy world, and his spiked armor was actually power armor unlike any other. His own Herculean strength was vastly increased by the armor he was wearing and was pumping drugs into him to increase strength and aggression. When it came to might, he was considered number one. When it came to viciousness, he was considered number one. When it came to kills confirmed by just bare hands, he was once again, number one. Not a single person among the cosmic marines would ever dare to fight him, and why should they? When Crallior popped open his bone blades, they knew the poor woman was dead. His bone blades, a mutation given to him by the fact that they sued Marvel to allow this to happen, were made of the hardest substance known to the universe. His own bones. They could slice and dice steel like it was made of soft butter. It didn’t matter to him as his foot long sharpened bones were pointed at Barbie, and he licked his lips. He didn’t just want her dead, he wanted her body after she was slain. He liked his women when they weren’t in one piece.

Crallior raised his arms up, each one as thick as Barbie, and then with great and furious force, slammed them right down at top of her. The intent was not only to crush her, but to slice her in two with his bone blades. All Barbie had to do was lift her well manicured hands up in the air to catch the bones, and snap. There goes the bones. Not her wrist bones, as many of the marines thought when they saw her raise her hands. Crallior’s bone blades that were impervious to any and all harm before had snapped off like dry twigs. Crallior let out a rather shrill pained howl as Barbie then, with no problem, rolled her eyes and leaped into an uppercut. The punch was more than enough to cause a sonic boom from both the force and speed of the punch thrown. A punch that sent him flying right out of Barbieland, and caused hundreds of marines to be sent flying by the shockwave of the punch. Barbie’s own punches were more than enough to topple just about all of these marines around her, and it didn’t matter who they were. Whatever they were legendary hero or undefeated warrior, Barbie was toppling them like they were domino after domino. Barbie put down her heel and flipped her hair back at what she had done. Surrounding her was unconscious marines who were all practically flattened by what she had done.

It was rather spirit shattering for the cosmic marines who were still around to witness this. Their best weapons and strongest marines were nothing to her. From fracture sniper rounds that could pierce diamond just harmlessly bounced off her forehead to plasma casters that would normally fry anything it hit not even scratching her skin. Barbie didn’t care what was happening to her, because it didn’t really impact her. It was just fun as she kicked, slapped, punched, and struck just about any marine in her way. Whatever plasma nets failed to catch her or even psychic attacks. The psychic division of cosmic marines tried to break her mind on a unified front attack. Dozens of minds combined and united in fury didn’t even scratch her brain. In fact, as they failed to harm her, all they really did was get stuck in a feedback loop. Thinking of nothing but sun and fun, and a lot of pink dresses. It didn’t matter what happened over and over, the marines were just failing to do anything to Barbie. It was why, even those terrified of what they were about to do, had no problem with unleashing the horrors.

The horrors were kept caged in a prison that was not even a part of this dimension. Nothing could hold them, and no one could find any way to stop them if there was a riot. These were monsters of the greatest, and most horrible, caliber. It would take whole battle-fleets of ships to take down a single one of these monsters. It was constant battle after battle to get even one of these monsters, and some of them even needed to have the battle one of the monsters in here. It was the biggest prize among the cosmic marines to have these great beasts in here. They were made up of some of the most powerful and evil beings to ever exist in the entire universe. They were not even close to reasonable, they were just vicious killing monsters that wanted to tear apart the entire universe and more. Blood satisfied them, and it was not for any of the health benefits from blood itself. It was the act of spilling the blood itself that gave them nourishment. The marines themselves, who had defeated these creatures, had to admit they were scared of the monsters. Any sane living being would be terrified of these horrors. That’s why, despite how ludicrous it sounded, the cold hard fact was they saw Barbie as one of these monsters.

In a way, a twisted way but a way, it made perfect sense. These Cosmic Marines lived in a universe of pain, blood, and suffering. They were used to these kinds of monsters that were bigger and sharper and worse, but it just made perfect sense to them. A being like Barbie though, who was sweet and adorable and nice, was too bizarre for them to even wrap their heads around. The fact though that she was far more powerful than all of them and was destroying rows of tanks like they were tin cans, just gently leaping in the air and tapping them to jump on another, crushing the tanks to scrap metal proved what monster she was. Barbie was everything, and to these cosmic marines, that everything was disgusting. The only fate for such a monster was to send her to the way all monsters shall go. Into the cage with the rest of them for the rest of their miserable lives. As the cage was being air dropped, one Cosmic marine looked in at horror of what Barbie was doing, and in the first time in his whole life, he weeped in fear. He was watching something that was, in many ways to him, an absolute horror that he never could imagine.

The tall slender and beautiful Barbie standing on a pile of Cosmic Marines. A large impressive pile that was full of hundreds upon hundreds of marines. They were some of the finest, deadliest, strongest warriors in the whole universe. They were more than enough to defeat just about any threat in their way, and had slaughtered countless armies. They were invincible. That was what they were, before Barbie came. They had never had a comparison to something like her. Or rather, someone like her. It just didn’t seem possible that she could even be real or this powerful. What was the worst part though, was her smile. It was a smile of bright happy joy. Barbie was absolutely in love with what she was doing, and why shouldn’t she be? Barbie had never been in a fight before in her life, and as she found when handling these cosmic marines, she was great at it! Barbie didn’t believe a single one of these marines, or any weapons they had, could stop her! Barbie was more than right. Barbie tended to be always right in these events.

Though sometimes a person would tend to be too right. The cage scanned Barbie’s DNA, and after a quick but thorough scan, it had it locked. The cage was able to trap just about any living being it scanned. Able to perfectly know what to do to make sure its prey was trapped utterly inside of itself, unable to break free or get away. The trap realized instantly, that there was no way to trap her. Barbie was too fast to even catch, and even if she wasn’t a human blur, her strength levels were too high to even drag in. Barbie was also deemed too dangerous to even enter the prison. If Barbie was allowed into the prison, she would just eradicate every single creature inside of it. The prison also feared, as much as an AI could, for its OWN safety. A prisoner like her could just break out of the prison and destroy said prison in her break out attempt. It couldn’t comprehend what Barbie even was. Barbie wasn’t like anything it has ever fathomed or could analyze.

Somehow, as insane as it sounded, it seemed like Barbie was ‘everything’ and thus, made everything around her ‘nothing’. The way her muscles didn’t even tense when grenades imploded on her body told the cage that she was unharmed by ANYTHING! Even the weakest of attacks should instinctually make one tense up, and yet these attacks that can kill scores of powered armor warriors didn’t faze her. Her speed was also too much to even accurately analyze. Tracker energy blasts, moving at light speed and detecting Barbie, was caught by her hands. Barbie was making it a game for her to catch, and despite hundreds of blasts firing at her from dozens of different directions, she spun around to catch every one. Barbie seemed to treat attacks at the speed of light slower than a turtle. Her agility was also impossible to catalogue as a human being. Able to freely dodge between two titanium razor blades that were an inch apart, and yet with a spin of her body to flex herself, she went through blades that should have hit her. It didn’t matter even if they did, she just seemed to do so just to brag that she can. All of these traits were great, but one was better than any other. Her strength.

Nothing in recorded history was as strong as her. Several thousand ton mechs that tried to stop her were instead thrown aside like trash from her. Machines designed to wrestle colossal monsters the size of skyscrapers didn’t even make her pause as she tossed them aside like pillows. Her own hands dug into the metal and crushed them to nothing, folding apart the mechs like they didn’t even matter to her. Forcefields that can take nuclear payloads shattered quicker than glass when she punched them. Barbie was stronger than everything the men threw at her. Both in body and technology. Barbie was like a pink hurricane, as every scanner attempted and failed to analyze her. Less like a person, and more as if she was a force of absolute nature in raw power and fury. Nothing stood in her way as she destroyed every machine and man in her path with ferocity unheard of in every galaxy, and in their minds. It was because of her attack, that something caused the minds of the marines to snap.

None of them have ever done this before. In all of their history, it was just… impossible to even fathom. The cosmic marines, who had invaded planets of demons and hosts of monsters older than stars, who had conquered everything in their way… sounded for retreat. Soldiers fled, dropping their guns and screaming in terror. They no longer saw Barbie as a small pink blonde beauty, but as something scarier than a million nightmares. Their bodies and minds couldn’t comprehend the HORROR they witnessed from her. What this THING was couldn’t be human, despite every appearance to the contrary. While a few tried to still fight back, hoping beyond hope to at least somehow find a way to scratch the unstoppable juggernaut, more than half fled the battlefield. They knew nothing could stop her if the very cage, designed to catch her, was SMOKING and BREAKING at the very thought to hold her down. The warden of the cage watched in absolute fury that the men were retreating. He never imagined he’d ever seen the day. The idea this day could ever have happened is LUDICROUS to him. They weren’t the best, that implied that there was a CONTEST to being THEM! No, this insult has to stop.

No one must know that the men surrendered. But there was only ONE way to do this. Many would say that what he did next was treasonous and a betrayal to everything the cosmic marines stood for. He thought to himself, he was the ONLY one willing to really follow with the mission goal. With the cage breaking down, he went to the keypad, and put in his codes for the cage. It was a move that would make him maybe the most hated cosmic marine ever. He didn’t care, he was saving them the best way he could. By destroying who was crushing them in every way, and killing all the real traitors who abandoned them from her path. With just a few keystrokes, the prison began to open, and than, the very area shook. Things were coming out of it, things more powerful than supernovas. Monsters that required entire fleets to take down just a single one, and it tended to be an even fight. The cage was connected to a dimension that could hold them, abut even the dimension was in constant threat of them existing in it. Thus, when the monsters ripped out of the cage, the very dimension made to hold them evaporated entirely. All of the energy in the dimension was diminished, and was absorbed into the skins of the monsters older than stars and empowered them. They were already the deadliest beings to ever exist before the dimension empowered them.

They were now more than 3x as powerful each, and they were only defeated by sheer numbers and strategy. Combined all together, not even a hundred fleets could stop them as they were. The monsters that had come out of the cage had never been on anything but deep space. They were shaking the very land around them, and the earth was quaking as the sky cracked in half. Super storms formed around the monsters as wind and lightning and fire rained from the sky. The monsters could easily tear apart reality as it was. It didn’t even seem like anything going on was safe for reality. The monsters seemed to actually be living scars on reality itself connected to them. They were monsters that made nightmares scream in terror. Coming in all shapes and sizes, some reaching skyscrapers and some vastly larger than that. Many of the monsters had several heads, endless limbs, shaped like centipedes on fire to walking planets covered in a death forest. They were more powerful than any god worshipped by any minor planet. Each one was enough to devastate entire civilizations across the galaxy, and combined, the universe was no longer safe. All of the universe was going to tear itself apart as the hundreds of monsters swarmed together. No living being could have been brave enough to even challenge them.

It was than, that all of these monsters saw Barbie. Barbie, in her pink petty dress, flowing to the wind as she saw the grand monsters. The small adorable perfect girl who was surrounded by the broken bodies of those she defeated, destroyed machine parts, and heavy craters she formed by her foot steps. Barbie was just a dust mite in terms of size to some of these monsters. Just a slip that they could eat like a whale eats plankton. The monsters observed Barbie, and Barbie waved at the monsters and gave her best smile. Anyone else would have been terrified to such a point at the sight of these great beasts that could consume galaxies to die on the spot. Barbie wasn’t even fazed by the beasts that she saw. What no one could see, or even scan, was that two auras formed. One of the great beasts, all forming together into one great aura that was larger than the planet itself. The intense powerful aura of darkness threatened to consume the planet worse and more powerful than any black hole. It was an aura that actually caused the very area around them to quake and shake just from the power. This aura caused by the beasts that could just about cause the entire universe to shake in terror… was dwarfed like a dying candlelight to the blazing super star that was Barbie’s pink aura. An aura that completely and utterly covered up the black aura. The monsters could feel the power radiating from Barbie… and instantly became cowed.

They knew they stood no chance, and all of them dropped low, shaking in terror. Bodies unheard of from the beasts were made, that even the creatures didn’t know they could make. But it was a common noise most pet owners have heard in their lives. The sound of a pet being submissive to their master. The abominations knew who was the superior on first sight, and it was no contest. All of them combined couldn’t even survive a clash with her. If Barbie so wished, she could end all of them in seconds, and unlike the marines, they knew this fact. Barbie was overjoyed at what was going on, and knew she had a whole new bunch or cute pets to own. Barbie was already trying to think up cute names for the beasts, as the marines stared in awe at what had happened. This wasn’t even something they could have predicted. She defeated all of those beasts just based on… on nothing?! This couldn’t have been possible, that their greatest conquests that took everything they had… could be defeated by her. Not even in a huge fight, just by her existing there. None of the men were able to really comprehend what was going on, and now, they had to survive. Anything they threw at her didn’t work. But if force didn’t work, then perhaps coercion could work. Because this wasn’t TECHNICALLY a fight against Barbie… it was a fight against Barbie and her friends.

As this whole battle happened, Barbie’s friends just watched what was going on. None of them believed that Barbie was like this, she was always so nice and kind! Watching her destroy everything in her way with the power and skill she did was actually intimidating. Many of them were just worried if Barbie was changed after this. Just as they were wondering how any of this could have happened, a group of marines surrounded them. Aiming guns at all of the toys and Barbies, the marines barked out at those there to scare them, which easily worked. None of them wanted to do anything to stop the marines, as the marines aimed death guns at the defenseless toys. One of the Ken’s almost looked like he was going to attack, but he didn’t even try to do so. That was more than enough to be hit in the face with the butt of a gun. Before the marine could threaten the Ken for trying to oppose them, one of the Barbies saw what happened and was mad. This big mean jerk was attacking her friends and trying to kill them? Oh she was so mad, she hoped she was as strong as blonde Barbie, and so Barbie punched the mean power armored marine in the chest.

Barbie didn’t really intend to hit him as hard as she could. Barbie feared breaking her arm if she did. Hence why the power armor crumpled, the ribs of the super soldier under the armor shattered, and a sonic boom erupted… and he DIDN’T burst into blood spray as he was sent flying. The rest of the marines saw what had happened, and all of the Barbie’s watched him fly in the air. The marines then looked back at the Barbies, and all of the Barbies, from Doctor Barbie to lifeguard Barbie to cheerleader Barbie, Barbies of all race but equal beauty… gave the marines perfect smiles. Then, fists clenched and muscles tensed. The marines didn’t even have time to cry for mommy as the Barbies swarmed upon them, kicking, punching, throwing, elbow striking, head butting, and more. These were women who were defending their friends from deadly threats. Though as the women were making sure to protect their Ken’s, stuffed animal friends, and other dolls… they were greatly enjoying what was going on. The cosmic marines saw the Barbie’s charging, and yet again, for the first time in history until now, did the only thing they could do. The marines ran away, screaming and crying, as the Barbie’s chased them down. It didn’t matter how they escaped, every Barbie caught up to them.

Marines escaping via jet pack were smashed down to earth by tennis Barbie. Marines attempting to drill into the ground to hide in caves were dragged out, kicking and screaming like babies, by nurse Barbie. Even those attempting to escape in their mighty tanks were sent flying when grabbed by volcanologist Barbie. The marines were the greatest soldiers to ever exist in all of history. None of them stood even a ghost of a chance against a single Barbie, even with all of their military might combined. Against at least a dozen Barbie’s? It was an outright SLAUGHTER of pink, pretty, and perfect. Everything from grenades to rocket launchers to techno chainsaws, nothing worked on the bodies of the Barbies beating them all up. Barbie herself saw her fellow Barbie’s tearing apart everyone around them. It didn’t at all matter, Barbie herself was more than happy as she was teaching the great beasts new tricks. The Barbies had turned destroying the greatest army ever… into a game. One that was very fun at first for a few minutes as the women pounded and played with the boys a bit too hard for them to fathom. Then, like all things that are just too easy, became quickly boring. It just wasn’t as fun to torture these rather weak boys. Hence the Barbie’s used their reality shattering speed to gather tens of thousands of tons of the marines into just one large pile. Many of them were unable to move, and the few that could wiggle their noses were too scared to even do so. The leader of the whole group, the man who started all of this, couldn’t believe this all happened. How could he? They were the greatest in the entire universe, nothing and no one or anything could stop them! Barbie herself saw the huge pile as she was making the monsters roll on their belly, and she sauntered towards the pile of men.

All of them were terrified of her. All of them didn’t see the prettiest most popular woman who ever lived. None of them, the bravest men in all of the galaxy, was even able to look at her without crying. They were more than terrorized of her, and were shaking in horror. Even the supreme leader of the marines, their greatest hero and strongest warrior… was sobbing and pissing himself as Barbie got closer. The click of her heel was louder than any explode the marines heard. The sight of her blinded them worse than any supernova. The power she radiated was greater than any fusion cannon that could destroy worlds. They had faced the greatest foe they ever have in their lives. They couldn’t even match her. They were nothing to a woman, who was EVERYTHING! All they were, were soldiers who couldn’t win a fight. Barbie looked over the broken and destroyed men who got in the way of her and the other Barbies, who were clapping and celebrating that they had won so easily. Barbie bent down a bit, and gave them a wonderful smile that no man could ever forget. For the Ken’s and plush toys, it was a smile they loved and made them so happy. For the soldiers, it was terror incarnate that would never be forgotten in their souls. These men couldn’t even fathom the fear they felt from Barbie smiling at them, and striking their souls to pits lower and worse than hell. No longer did they see a gorgeous pink beauty that all men couldn’t help themselves loving. No, for the soldiers, they only saw absolute horror. Barbie waved at the men, no longer hating them. How could she hate something so sad and pathetic? Barbie felt so bad for them, she decided to give them a gift. A little kiss blow.

Barbie kissed her hand, and blew right it at the men… and the force behind the kiss sent them hurtling towards the sky greater than any monsoon. The men hurtled far and high and than, in an instant, was a twinkle. Barbie waved at what was gone, and so the world changed around them, from no longer a hell scape but the old pretty pink utopia that it was. Every Ken and stuffed toy cheered that their world was perfect once again. Barbie, well, every Barbie, had more than enough fun with what was going on. The Barbies could have lorded all their power over Barbieland given what had happened. But instead, all Barbie could really think about, as everything was fixed… that they can get back to what was right! Using their power to terrorize the rest of the toys just didn’t sound like Barbie at all. Their power wasn’t to be used to hurt others, especially because it was boring. Being a big bully sounded lame, but being the happiest loveliest woman ever? Now that was fun, as was playing with all your friends. To Barbie, nothing mattered more than tennis, bathing in the glow of the sun, and making sure Suki was a really happy girl. As they heard the door open, every toy knew what to do. They dropped down, and Barbieland returned to the regular world.

Andrew was the first to return. It was his plan, after eating dinner, to have some real fun with his toys. Make them CRUSH Suki’s toys and teach her how dumb and stupid she was for liking the wrong thing. Andrew was ready to have some fun destroying and breaking things, when he saw it. The pile. It was a pile of all his cosmic marines, mangled and fused and torn up and jammed into one pile, not a single one even fine. All of his stuff was destroyed, thousands of dollars worth of figurines and the like ruined. Andrew saw his favorite toys in the whole world all destroyed, and he had a very mature response to it. He dropped to his knees and began sobbing. He was sobbing worse than Suki ever did in her life, as he was bawling about his toys being broken. After a minute of him crying, the door opened again and Suki came in, and saw something interesting. She got new toys! A bunch of cute plush ones that were the size of pillows! Suki squealed in joy as she jumped in joy and began playing with her toys with her new ones, ignoring the ‘big baby’ next to her who was crying. As Suki was the happiest girl in the world, busy making her Barbie play with the new toys she got, Suki never took a good look at Barbie. Oh she saw her perfect smile, her pink dress, the way her golden hair flowed down. But if Suki paid attention, she would have noticed on Barbie’s left hand on her pinky… a small bit of a red stain. In her perfect shoes, she would have found a small bit of metal shard underneath in. In Barbie’s hair, a bit of bone fragment. But how could Suki ever notice this, Barbie was utterly fine! No, not fine! Barbie was just perfect!