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Patreon Exclusive Video: The Difference Between an "Enthusiastic, but Harmless Obsession" and a Legitimate "Addiction" (Patreon)

Published:
2022-07-17 17:28:31
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

In this Patreon Exclusive video, Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie discusses the difference between an enthusiastic, but generally 'harmless' OBSESSION and a true, legitimate ADDICTION

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ARC Discusses "Enthusiastic Obsessions" vs. "Unhealthy Addictions" | ARC's Phone Sex History

Welcome to the official YouTube Channel for Author, Public Speaker, and Professional Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie Patreon Supporters Page: https://www.patreon.com/modeone Ca$hApp: $AlanRogerCurrie PayPal Donations: https://www.paypal.me/ModeOnePublishing eBooks: http://www.directapproachdating.com/books/ paperbacks: https://www.amazon.com/Alan-Roger-Currie/e/B002BLQ9Q0/ audiobooks: https://www.audible.com/author/Alan-Roger-Currie/B002BLQ9Q0 Main website (for men): http://www.directapproachdating.com Main website (for women & couples): http://www.modeone.net/training/ Coaching: http://www.directapproachdating.com/coaching/ Wikipedia.org page: https://everipedia.org/wiki/lang_en/Alan_Roger_Currie Alan Roger Currie - Best Dating Coach for Men on YouTube: https://www.pr.com/press-release/750684 and https://goodmenproject.com/dating-2/alan-roger-currie-has-mastered-the-art-of-dating-coaching/ Archived BlogTalkRadio audio podcasts: https://www.audible.com/pd/Podcast/B08K55GK1X #ARCtheTripleOG #ModeOne #UnhealthyAddictions

Comments

Anonymous

I have been addicted to some form of porn since age 34 which began for me in 1990. This addiction has traveled with me forward for 31 years. I am now 65. I am older than Alan by about 5 years, being born in 1957. I grew up in the late fifties, sixties, and the seventies. As Alan has stated, porn was very hard to come by during these decades and did not show up in video format "VHS" tapes that played through VCR's "video cassette recorders" until the late eighties. Video stores came alive in the late eighties and adult videos could be rented from some of these video stores even if the store was not an Adult video store. They usually had a private section where these videos were kept. I grew up in Polk County, Fl near Lakeland, Fort Meade, and Bartow. As a teenager in the seventies, porn magazines such as Penthouse, Playboy, Gallery, and Hustler were sold in convenience stores such as 7 Eleven, Circle K, and other stores like them. Now get this! There was a drive in X rated theatre less than ten miles where I grew up near Fort Meade, FL that was on the side of Hwy 17, a major highway in the area. From the time I was born this theatre was a well-known fixture in the area and was referred to as the "Dirty Movies." The movie screen faced away from the highway, so it was not viewable as it was driven by at night. This theatre had been there since at least the fifties and lasted for over 40 years before it was turned into a flea market sometime in the nineties. The town I grew up in had less than five thousand people and the county was very rural filled with orange and citrus groves, cow pastures, and Florida swamps. Around the age of 18, I began buying porn magazines maybe three times a year from behind the counters of convenience stores in the area I lived. I was ashamed of my sexual feelings and felt terrified. I never bought these magazines in the town I lived in out of fear someone who worked there might know me. So, I would drive thirty miles to a bigger town. I would park in front of a 7 eleven for example. I would wait until the store was empty and then be sure the store had a female clerk. I would never go in if the clerk was a male. A very few stores had the magazines displayed in an area where I could actually pick them out myself and take them to the counter. I always bought food and a drink when I requested the magazines from the clerk. I did not want the clerk to think that the only reason I came in was just to buy the porn magazines. I would be out for hours at night making the rounds in different stores collecting as many as six magazines. I would then drive home and use them for masturbation. And then the next day, I would discard them somewhere. I never kept them at home with me because I knew I would continue to use them over and over again for masturbation. At this time in my life, I was not addicted. Maybe every three or four months I would feel the urge to go out at night and buy magazines. This was in the years of 1977 - 1979 mainly. I had no girlfriends and was terrified of girls and rejection. I did not have a single belief that supported me into believing I could have a real girl. Also, during this time of age 18 to 20, I made a couple of trips to Tampa which was 70 miles away to watch XXX porn videos in an adult theatre called the Todd XXX theatre. I only went two or three times. This was the first time I had ever seen real sex being played out. When I left the theatre late at night, I felt like a Zombie and my mind was numb from all the moving images I had seen. I never told any of my friends what I was doing. I had no concept on how to get laid or even get a date. As Alan stated, porn was very hard to come by and took considerable effort and expense to find. The only movies available were in an actual adult video theatre such as was found in Tampa or Orlando. The real addiction began for me in January 1990 while I was a salesman for Sears & Roebuck in Lakeland, FL at age 34. Our sales manager told us one day we could check out a VCR at no cost for personal use and take it home if we wanted to rent movies somewhere. A couple of days later the idea entered my mind that "hey, I could take this VCR home, rent some adult videos, and masturbate to them." There was an adult video store a short distance from where I lived. I became so excited and could not wait to carry out my plan. I took the VCR home, hooked it to my TV, went out and rented 4 VHS porn movies, and locked myself into my apartment, and basically masturbated for three days. I was hooked. I finally knew I had to return the videos just to break the cycle. A short time later I lost my job and had to return the borrowed VCR. For the next two years I was obsessed with getting another VCR but could not earn enough money to buy one. All I could think of was getting another VCR and renting adult videos to masturbate to. So, in the meantime, I resorted to porn magazines. In late 1992 I was able to acquire another VCR after putting it on Lay a Way and paying on it little by little. So, for the next several years until about 2001 I was living in Lakeland, Fl and would visit adult video stores at least once a week to rent VHS porn videos. It was time consuming. Sometimes if lucky, I might rent some videos that had really erotic scenes, but many times the tapes would be defective and cause the VCR to jam, and then I would have to fix the VCR, return the videos, and start over. It was not until about 2009 while living in Brunswick, GA that I turned solely to internet porn. Before then, internet porn was poor in quality because the videos were of such low quality, nothing like it is today. It is not really important to me for you all to know my story of porn addiction and masturbation as it is for you to know "WHY" I pursued porn in the first place. Although Alan did not mention this, porn is actually a direct form of prostitution where a man pays to rent or buy porn for the purpose of masturbation and sexual enjoyment. I started using porn and became addicted to it for basically the following reason. At age 34, I simply gave up on myself and my dream to have loving and sexual relationships with a real woman. Beginning at age 25, I started on the path to self development by reading hundreds of books, going to psychotherapy, spiritual development, meditation, A Course in Miracles, metaphysical workshops, all types of counselors, and anything else I could find. I only had one prior relationship with a woman from 1981 to 1984 beginning when I was 24. I never dated in Highschool or college. I started using porn because I was so sexually needy and desperate that I turned to porn for relief from sexual suffering. Nothing or no one I went to for help helped me in anyway. I use porn because I believe that women are better than me and more important. I actually believed in the beginning that women really did not care about sex and only engaged in sex if they were in a loving relationship with a man. I had no role models. I grew up as an only child and was beaten and terrorized by my father for over 5 years starting at age 9 and lasting until I was 15. I was raised in a Southern Baptist Church that preached sex was a sin. I grew up terrified of girls and rejection. In my twenties, thirties, and forties, and now sixties, I believe that women hold all the sexual power, and they get to pick and choose who they want to have sex with, while I as a man have no choices except to masturbate. I went through years of self hatred and resentment of others and women. Today at age 65, I do not have a single friend in the world, male or female. I live my life in total isolation except for the time I am at my job. I first heard of Alan 12 years ago but did not start reading Mode One until last Summer 2021 shortly after watching some of Alan's videos on You tube. And I have been hooked ever since. Alan is the first person to ever give me hope that maybe before I die, that I might be able to find one more woman and have sex. The number one message that kept me down came from counselors, friends, other women, and associates was this: "You cannot bring up sex with a girl or woman or she will be offended and reject you immediately. Women are fragile and gentle creatures, and you have to be kind, gentle, and show no interest in sex until way, way, down the road. You have to always consider the woman's feelings and not your own. You have to care for her and protect her. You should not view her as a sexual object. You should always go slow in the beginning, or she will reject you. She will think I am a pervert if I express my sexual desires to her." I could go on for hours. There was not one teacher or therapist back then teaching what Alan teaches. Not even close. Whenever I brought up my sexual frustration to a therapist, they would condemn me and shame me for the way I felt. I have a special note for you guys in the younger generation. Never go see a psychotherapist or your life will be ruined. They will destroy your soul and will to live. Find the help you need in any other way. But you will NEVER find help from a psychiatrist or mental health counselor. I joined Alan's channel and became a Patreon because Alan's teachings have revived some sense of hope in me and the reason to continue living. I am grateful to Alan. I seem to always find people when it is almost too late. Alan is almost sixty and probably will not continue this work much longer which means I have missed out on all his early years as a dating coach. Failing to master dating, sex, and women has royally screwed my entire life. I never reached any of my potential or became the man I wanted to become. Living without sex and female companionship is a slow form of living hell and death. I have spent my entire life trying to meet my sexual needs and desires for female contact. I have only been on one date with a woman since 1992 and that was in 2016. Alan is the only man who states that our bodies and genitals are just as valuable as those belonging to women and we should consider ourselves equal to them. Porn preaches differently. Porn exists for one reason only: Millions if not billions of men believe they are powerless and helpless in the face of women, and that porn and masturbation is the only way they can have access to women's bodies even if it is only in fantasy and on video. I have wasted decades and years of my life pursuing the false gratification found in porn. It is a bitter pill to swallow. One final message from me regarding this video: No one is coming to save you. The world and especially women do not give a fuck if you or I find our power as men. And neither do the experts or counselors. No one gives a fuck about our sexual needs, fears, and deprivation. Women do not want us to have this information. I hope you young guys black, white, and otherwise can make room for me in your midst. I am honored to be here after a long and bitter struggle. I do believe that Alan cares about us and for those of us stuck in powerlessness.

Anonymous

One final comment, I promise! My attempt at being a comedian: Here it goes: "If I had a dollar for every time I jerked off to porn, you would have to consider me a Master Magician. I could truthfully say: "At the stroke of A HAND, I made myself a friggin Millionaire!!!

dark_angel
>>88252792

I red your entire story ... I hope you at least had one consultation with Alan cause you must have the most amazing story of all patreons ever ... now I see that if I hadn't give up porn at 32 years old ... it would have been even worse down the line - I am blessed for managing to completely give up porn and remove this cancer out of my life . I have one more curiosity : why you didnt try or attempt to go to a prostitute in your life at least once to get rid of the neediness maybe ?

Anonymous
>>88252792

Going to a prostitute if only "one time" is far worse than a lifetime of porn. Going to a prostitute is the ultimate act of being a powerless man. I see you gave up porn, yet you deceive yourself into believing that you are now blessed and healed. Yet, where are the women who are knocking down your doors? I would never ever in a million years lower myself to the level of paying another person for sex. I dare say that you like me have yet to take one step in the direction of approaching a woman and asking her for what you desire. It is a myth to believe that the stopping of an addiction will transform your life. Is your life now transformed? I think not. Yes, I have had one consultation so far with Alan. It is too early to tell if he will be able to help me make the changes needed.

dark_angel
>>88252792

ok .. I am just going to go into details cause you believe my life is not transformed at all because I don't have girls yet ... since you are older than me I am just going to call you Sir out of respect and compassion cause I believe if you gave up porn it will change your life too ... I really believe that completely 500% .... Since I gave up porn 7 months ago ... in the last months I have accomplished things that I haven't accomplished in the last 10 years ... I won 3 dance competitions as first place - I conquered all my fears in all dance studios I went too ... I made awesome new friends and female friends too - cause yes I want female friends too - before giving up porn I had only male friends ... I have a similar thinking to your about women and I was a misoginist but that disappeared too ... I became for more optimistic than before when it came to challenges in life ... I have a ton shit more energy now to do everything I want in a day ... I feel gratitude for a lot of things now ... I became creative and created poetry even - and it is good poetry cause I checked it out with real audience ... I even started created advanced dance routines ... the list goes on and on ... The only area that didn't improved at all is my sex life so far but considering all the other benefits I have at this point I would say that giving up porn was definitely worth it no doubt about it all ... I am never going back to a life with high speed internet porn not even if you pay me money ... and the funny thing is that most guys dont realize it is only hard the first few months but then it gets so easy to control your urges ... and if I can do it at 32 years old then for sure older people than me can do it too because the older you are the more emotional inteligence and self control you get ... ANd you also assumed I never approached women before ? I had made more than 1000 approaches in my life - a combination of both indirect and direct ... and yes my success rate was very low but I still did them and yes I even did a couple of hardcore mode ones ... so I really don't think lacking courage is my problem at all.