True Vorpal Bunny (Danmachi SI) Ch.19 (Patreon)

Chapter 19:

Level 3s were flying today in Folkvangr.

“Who’s next?!” Iru yelled as his last opponent fell to the ground. He had challenged all the Level 3 adventurers the Freya Familia had to offer and won.

He hadn’t come out of it unscathed. Under his clothes, he was covered in bruises and slash wounds. A shield bash had opened a cut above his left eye, and he was fairly certain he had a cracked tooth.

Normally, he would have challenged someone a level above, but the Freya Familia was currently missing any Level 4.

With the Gulliver Brothers all leveling up at the same time, it left that level vacant for the moment. The Familia now had a clear advantage in the number of first class adventurers compared to the Loki Familia who only had Finn, Gareth and Riveria at Level 6, while the Freya Familia had Ottar at Level 7;three Level 6 of their own with Allen, Hedin and Hogni; and four Level 5 with the Pallum quadruplets.

Of course, if nothing changed, Ais would keep power-leveling and the Loki Familia would be joined by the Hyrute sisters who would be already Level 3 and Bete at Level 4, who would also rank up fast and become first class adventurers in the following years, all of which would get to Level 6 before the Gulliver brothers could level up again.

But at the moment, the ones who would be Level 4 in canon, like Heith and Van, were at the peak of Level 3 and close to ranking up, with Heith still alternating between being a healer and a frontliner depending on the situation, compared to the future where she would mainly act as a healer and would only fight if she was angry or every other option had been exploited.

As for Van, the poor half-Pallum was currently eating dirt after he tried to out-maneuver Iru midair, only for the crazy rabbit to grab his legs and spin him around before slamming him back to the ground.

So, with no opponent close to his level, Iru directed his attention to the only cohesive team of the Freya Familia.

“Hey, short stuff 1 to 4! Fight me!”

The siblings weren’t impressed.

“You’re barely able to stand. I’ll take that as you having a concussion. Go to sleep.” Alfrigg, the eldest brother and the slightly more reasonable of the four,  pointed out. 

To that, Iru had one answer.

“Mourn the lost love. Mourn the ending of the story. Those tears nourish the goddess’s new tale. Golden Tears.” A golden aura surrounded the Hume Bunny and all of his wounds started to close.

“Of course you would get a healing spell.” The Pallum said, and his eyes quickly noted the fact that Iru’s short-breathedness had also stopped, the spell not only having sealed his wounds but also restoring his stamina.

“Self-heal only. I’m not nursing any of you back to health. That’s Heith’s job.” Iru snarked.

“EAT ALL THE DICKS, CARROT MUNCHER!” The pink-haired witch screamed, having hoped for one moment that the healer squad’s burden was going to be lightened with a new member.

The Gulliver brothers picked up their weapons and approached the wild rabbit.

Iru did get his ass thoroughly kicked, but he managed to break Berling’s nose when he dropped his guard, much to the mocking of his brothers, so he counted that as a win.

[hr]

Anya, Lili and Iru went to the Hostess of Fertility after another dive in the Dungeon. They managed to get down to the 25th Floor, but went back after seeing that the Amphisbaena had respawned, and the three of them weren’t ready to fight the aquatic Monster Rex, nor were they willing to wait for it to go down the waterfall.

Now, back on the surface, the trio took their seats and ordered up, planning to relax and talk over drinks and food before going their separate ways.

Lili offered to pay today.

“Why the sudden generosity?” Iru asked.

“Chandra leveled up, so I dumped all the captain stuff on his back since I know he can deal with the idiots’ bullshit. Lili is free.”

Lili’s smile was the blinding one of a middle manager who finally didn’t have to clean her subordinates’ mess anymore.

“Congrats. To abandoning responsibilities.” Iru clinked his glass of juice with Lili’s.

“Cheers!” Lili played along and downed her glass before digging on her plate of chicken and veggies.

Then, as if it was a gong signal for things to get interesting, the whole of the Astraea Familia, goddess included, came in, accompanied by Ardee and Shakti of the Ganesha Familia.

“And I’m telling you, they serve the good stuff here.” Ardee was saying.

The blue-haired girl caught sight of Iru and her smile grew.

“And here’s the bunny who recommended the place.”

The girls of the Astraea Familia quickly recognized Iru and gave greetings of their own.

“Oi, kid.” Mama Mia’s voice caught Iru’s attention. “More customers is good, but if you only bring women, I think you’re going to have problems.”

She turned her head and Iru followed her gaze to a pouting Syr, holding an empty tray.

Iru rolled his eyes at her. The disguised goddess let out a silent, offended gasp.

Still, Syr did her job and guided the fourteen new arrivals to their seats.

They barely had the time to order before another big group entered, this time revealing the Loki Familia, consisting of their redheaded goddess, the three executives, Ais, the elves of the Fairy Force sans Lefiya as she would still be in the School District right now, Raul and Annakitty, and a good deal of the second class adventurers that made the bulk of the Familia.

“Yo, Astraea! Didn’t think I would see you here.” Loki waved at the goddess of justice.

It was lucky that the Hostess of Fertility was having a calm evening, or there wouldn’t have been enough place.

Before Astraea could respond to Loki, Ais ran off and jumped on Iru’s back.

“Fluffy, silky~.” She sighed as she rubbed her cheek on the top of his head.

What would have looked like two cute kids cuddling was ruined by Iru’s half-lidded gaze and the heavy sigh that escaped his lips.

“Yes, yes. I am fluffy and silky.” He said like a grandpa indulging a child.

“OI! Hands off my cute Ais!” Loki roared, jumping at the kids.

She wrapped an arm around Ais’s waist and pulled while pushing her other hand on Iru’s head to push against.

Then, she stopped.

“Holy shit. He is fluffy and silky.” The trickster goddess marveled at the feeling and started to rub Iru’s hair.

The Hume Bunny slapped her hand off.

“Sorry, Loki. Petting rights are only for cute girls.”

Loki froze, mouth hung open. Most of the customers blinked at the offense against a deity. 

Some found the scene extremely funny.

Syr hid a smirk behind her tray. Astraea let out a giggle that she tried to choke behind her palm.

The reaction of the Loki Familia surprised everyone the most, as it was mostly made up of disappointed sighs and apologetic looks directed at the other customers.

Gareth laughed, slapping his knee.

Riveria’s mouth twitched, sign of her holding back her laughter with a steel will.

Finn rubbed his nose, feeling a headache coming.

At ground zero, Ais followed Iru’s example and slapped Loki’s hand off.

“Bad Loki. Don’t bother my friend.”

The follow-up strike to Iru’s jab made Loki’s legs buckle and she fell to the floor in a pathetic sobbing heap.

“He’s stealing my Ais-tannnnn~!”

During the drama, Lyra sneaked off the Astraea table to approach Finn.

“Hey there, Finn~.” She purred like a cat having found her prey.

“Ah, Lyra. How nice to see you.” The Braver let out a nervous chuckle at odds with his usual composed mannerism.

Iru took a sip of his juice, half-Spirit still clinging to him while the two other groups started mingling and Mia barked at her waitresses to move their asses.

Tonight was going to be fun.

[hr]

Once everyone got seated and had their drinks, the discussions gravitated towards regular topics for adventurers, like if someone had seen an enhanced species or if they had a good haul.

Then, when everyone had emptied their cups and ordered a second turn while the food was getting ready, Finn turned toward Iru.

“So, Lady Freya gave us new information about Evilus.”

The others kept drinking and talking, but they all had an ear turned toward that conversation.

“What about it?”

“Just wanted to say thanks since it’s hard to have a conversation with the other members of your Familia.” He said with a chuckle before his face grew serious.

“With the reveal of Knossos, we have been able to track people coming in and out of Daedalus Street and follow them to other hidden bases. Soon, we’ll have the identities of all the Familias involved with Evilus, and we’ll take them down once and for all.”

The Braver’s declaration got cheers from everyone.

Things were going pretty well after that. The food came in and everyone was eating.

Then, Loki finally noticed Lili.

“Hey. You’re Finn’s brat, right? Think we can get the family price for some of Soma’s stuff?”

“Loki! How many times do I have to say I don’t have a child?!” Poor Finn flushed, and not because of the alcohol.

For her part, the younger Pallum just groaned and tried to ignore the redheaded goddess, though it seemed to not go so well if the red creeping up her iris was anything to go by.

“Ok. That was funny the first few times.” Iru’s declaration got him a glare from the two Pallums. “But no. Finn isn’t Lili’s dad.”

“Thank you!” Finn raised his arms to the sky, clearly done with the topic.

Iru waited for Finn to pick up his drink before continuing.

“He is far too much of a virgin for that.”

The ale in Finn’s throat made a one-eighty and spilled right out of his nostrils. He wasn’t the only one who choked on his drink. Ryuu and most of the other elves, with their proper manners, hadn’t expected the sudden crassness.

Riveria, far too used to arguing with Gareth and Finn, just had an amused smirk on her face. Gareth roared with laughter even harder than before, but didn’t spill a single drop of the mug in his hand. A Dwarf didn’t spill his drink.

“How would you know?” Ardee asked, morbidly curious about the rabbit child’s knowledge on Finn’s sex life.

“With how many horny people I live with, the only way I could have a better virgin detector is if I was involved in the Red Light District and the massive amount of dicks Ishtar sucks.”

“That is quite the amount of lubricated penises, indeed.” Syr, standing behind the counter,  couldn’t help but agree.

“I don’t know about Ishtar, but I can totally help Finn with his issue.” A far too drunk Lyra said as she tried to vault over the table to throw herself at Finn. 

Ryuu and Kaguya grabbed the horny gremlin before she could steal Finn’s purity.

The situation devolved from here and Mia threw everyone out after they all paid.