Struggeling (Patreon)

I'm only reading the bible currently- I deserve the cross not Jesus- how and why would He decide to do that for me- I'm so undeserving- I'm disgusting and I want nothing to do with myself- yet Jesus says I'm beautifully and wonderfully made and that He loves me- I'm stupid and worthless- yet Jesus says I’m intelligent and wise in Him and worth His one and only son being put to the very same cross I deserve. I don’t want to do anything right now unless He tells me to and I'm not sure what He’s saying right now so I'm just staying still in prayer and reading the Bible- I want nothing to do with myself but He wants everything to do with me- I’m making good on my words like giving u guy's this Patreon content and streaming but it will all be Bible right now because I simply cannot do anything else except this