Barkingthwaite and Venatrix stood up. (Patreon)

It was time to reward them and send them on their way.

They had done an exceptionally good job, so I decided to give them a substantial bonus. I put on the most appealing face I could muster (with my forehead throbbing and my vision blurring) to discourage them from demurring and refusing my gift, like they had tried to do before.

"Something for your trouble," I urged as I held out a sack of gold, "as I'm sure the female was difficult. Please take it."

They stared at the sack with a goofy goggle-eyed expression. I groaned inwardly. Were they going to try to refuse after all? Surely this wasn't much more than I had paid them last time. I was too woozy to count it, but it didn't feel that much heavier than the previous loot bag. I couldn't really remember at the moment, but it seemed about the same.

Barkingthwaite reluctantly took the bag, and before he could raise a fuss I declared, "Now a well deserved vacation." I tried to beam magnanimously and make a gesture of blessing along with a gesture of general dismissal. "Go and enjoy each other's flesh, you crazy kids."

That seemed to do the trick. They looked at each other and let out a synchronized lovesick sigh. I watched them join hands and scamper away into the forest. They giggled like mischievous youngsters, and as they bounded out of sight I thouht I heard Venatrix say something about finding a Wolf Mummy King.

"Have fun!" I called after them. "You'll know if I need you again." Presuming my Ixies could find them ... but I'm sure that line made a good impression on Zandar.

"Precious," I murmured, savoring the moment. "Those two are just precious." My plan was working so far, and working WELL. That hadn't happened in a long time. The feeling of satisfaction was somewhat muted by the pulsing agony in my head. My ears simultaneously felt like they were burning and going numb.

"Who are you?" Zandar asked, her voice stabbing through my brain and interrupting my pleasant reverie.

How could she not know who I was? I had spent so much of my life trying to find her, which would not have been necessary if she had returned to Faerie when all of the other Changelings did! There had been crystal clear instructions! The Old Crow had even been sent to fetch her, yet still she hadn't showed up!

"Who am I?" I bellowed indignantly. "WHO AM I?? Am I not his MOST Lordship, a, the, Skunk Elf, Prince Randall? Well...? Am I not?" I admit I was a bit confused (yelling made my vision blur around the edges) and was talking to her like one of the lowfolk, but in my defense: She had completely dropped the ball on her end.

"I don't know!" Zandar replied defensively. It took me a second to parse her meaning and recall that I had technically asked her a question.

Her tone offended me, and I began to see red (though that was probably more due to my head injury than anything else.) Everything I had gone through - and I mean EVERYTHING - could have been avoided if this femme had just followed a few simple instructions and returned to Albric Tor on time.

"Hmph," I scoffed. "I know you, Zandar Skönk, my intended, my long absent, my TARDY! Took your own sweet assed time getting here, huh my lady...? I had to FIND you, and that wasn't easy or simple, beloved... No no… Not so simple as the ONE very simple instruction which you UNFOLLOWED, my dear. Did he speak an odd language, my pet? What part did you not understand?" I dabbed my face with my sleeve to make sure my nose wasn't bleeding.

"Who?" Zandar replied. "What do you mean??"

"Great Auk," I sighed, turning away. "The Old Crow died for nothing."

"The old crow died??"

"Not so you could arrive LATE!" I snapped. By Fuma! He died for her benefit and she never even KNEW?? I stopped and took a few deep breaths to calm my rising temper. There seemed like a very real possibility that I might actually go blind if I got too worked up. It did feel good to let out some of that pent-up resentment, but even through my blurred vision I could see that I had upset her. Ah well, it was time to leave the past in the past. Since Zandar seemed to know absolutely nothing, I would simply have to calm down and explain it all to her.

"Please come inside, Zandar," I sighed in a conciliatory tone. "I need questions to my answers."

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