Let's take a look at some of your questions. (Patreon)

>Do you really believe what you say or is it all an act? Also some rubbish about classism and the decline of the elves.

Elves do not lie. I'm not entirely sure what you're implying with the rest of your comment, but it is an established historical fact that too much associating with lowfolk is bad for our health. Staying aloof is the way to prosper.

>Was he dabbing?

I have no idea what that means.

>While Zandar was sleeping, did you ever use that magic bowl trick to see into her mind?

Fuma have mercy! That never even occurred to me. You lowfolk are truly devious ... and yet some of you have the nerve to insinuate that I am Unseelie! Clearly a case of one of your many cognitive defects, the one called ... what is it ... projection? I think that's it.

>Did you turn a low folk child into stew and feed them to Zandar?

>how did you come up with the "your original biological kid is missing, sent to lowfolk family, and yes, you did ask what did I do with the original lowfolk babe, so hey I made stew!" explanation?

Ah yes, I knew it was only a matter of time before this came up.

The short answer is, we are Royalty, and elvish royalty do not raise their own children! Additionally I came to trust Zandar less and less the more I learned about her. I couldn't let HER raise my child! She wanted to call the baby "Wulfrida," for Fuma's sake! That clearly indicates complete unfitness to be a parent. Furthermore: You can mock my intellectual ability all you like, but at least I had the sense to know that I was ill-equipped (not to mention too busy) to tend to the newborn princess myself.

>Like, do you think you could have phrased it better, given how you presented yourself? Magical gate, fields strewn with skeletons, dead city, skeletal king on his dusty throne! You've clearly showed yourself as a great conqueror and killer of elves, wielder of terrible powers! To someone like her, wouldn't that paint you as someone who'd have no qualms making glazed ham out of random lowfolk and elf alike? Do you think this whole gig kinda, like, backfired a bit?

All of that should have charmed and impressed her! I admit it was my fault for failing to take into account the fact that Zandar was a complete stranger to elvish culture and knew nothing of our ways.

>Also what herbs and vegetables do you use in your stews and what do you use as a thickener if you use any?

It requires a magickal spice called "paprika" which I believe is only available in Faerie. I don't want to give away too many secrets, because this information in the wrong hands could wreak havoc on your world ... but I will whisper two words that will make sense to the initiated: SASSAFRAS FILE.

Now then, to properly explain what happened to the princess and her lowfolk swapling, I have to backtrack and set the stage.

Zandar and I had venery together, and I persuaded her to crown me. I was then able to issue a Royal Proclamation which lifted the geas confining me to Albric Tor, and also (reluctantly) honored the bargain I had made with Dr. Owter Cesawonki (aka Ash Marten.)

After a while Zandar became pregnant. I cared for her as best I could, even calling upon Barkingthwaite and Venatrix and my Ixie network to procure some of the more exotic foods Zandar craved as her gestation progressed.

Zandar was unfortunately addicted to the pernicious lowfolk habit of SLEEPING several hours per day. I joined her a few times, but ultimately I felt I was simply enabling her dependency. Perhaps during some of these naps, I should have used Estvan's water-bowl trick to spy on her dreams, but in retrospect it's probably best that I didn't.

More importantly, I could not stand wasting time lazing about when there was a world to explore! I hadn't seen anything beyond my stone circle and the battlefield in AGES, so every time Zandar snoozed, I was out wandering with a few of my Ixies, seeing sights and making connections. That's how I tracked down the O'Dor family that Vernier had married into so long ago. I also located the Persoc Tor Gate surprisingly close by (it's much farther in Faerie) and managed to get back in touch with Burnside and Rebecca.

But my goodness! Look at the time! That's enough for now, and I'll resume the tale when we meet again, next week. May Fuma guide your steps and protect you from owls until then!

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