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"Oh no," (Patreon)

Published:
2024-05-17 00:35:15
Imported:
2026-08
Tags:

Content

Zandar blubbered pathetically. "Please tell me you didn't do that. Did you?"

"Did I?" I taunted. It wasn't nice, I admit, but she deserved to squirm for a while. "Oh my, oh my, I wonder where I left our darling wee babe. Oh wherever could the princess be?"

"YOU BASTARD!" Zandar yelled. "I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Kill me?" I answered with mocking indignity. "That's a fine show of gratitude after I helped you out with those villagers."

"YOU TOLD THEM TO HANG ME!" she exclaimed.

"Would you rather have been burned?" I retorted, not expecting her to really understand the huge favor I had tried to do for her, in spite of her blatant disrespect.

"Now, regarding the princess," I continued, as I floated serenely down from my tree. It was a pretty impressive effect! Unfortunately it was completely wasted on Zandar, who didn't even seem to notice. "The daughter of the King of Faerie is far too important to trust to the whims of Fate. You may rest assured that she is safe from your baleful influence."

I landed a few paces from Zandar and looked her over. She was bleeding from dozens of wounds, and would probably collapse as soon as the adrenaline wore off.

"Instead of worrying about that," I suggested, "you should tend to yourself. You really look a fright."

She clenched her fist, but I had the advantage of Adoyret Sam's combat training. Without her hammer, Zandar was no threat. I stared at her abdomen, which compelled her to look down, and as soon as she saw the extent of her injuries, she began to sway.

"I bid you farewell til next we meet, my darling," I said with a sarcastic bow as Zandar tottered and fell over into the grass.

How long would it be til she revived? I needed to decide what I should do with her. The idea of this vile femme running free to commit all kinds of evil upon the world made me uneasy. It was impossible to kill her, not permanently ... and I had to admit that, even as evil as she was, I couldn't bring myself to kill the mother of my child. We'd had venery together! That had to count for something!

I climbed back up the tree, where I could mull over this problem while watching Zandar from a safe distance. I considered my options. I could imprison her; she had been sealed up in a cellar for hundreds of years and emerged none the worse for wear. And therein was the problem. If she somehow managed to escape, then she would become a truly implacable enemy. Might she still have a role to play in the grand scheme of things? Fuma worked in mysterious ways...

By a wild coincidence (or was it?) as this thought crossed my mind, I became aware of someone bumbling through the woods, headed straight for the spot where Zandar was lying.

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Comments

Eric Costello

Paging Sir Conrad Dugal! Conrad Dugal to the white phone, please.

St. Veronika

I want this twink obliterated for many many reasons, but most of all over how EASY it would have been for him to prevent this with even the slightest touch of empathy and thought.

That Harper Gal

He's not evil...but he's very, very, VERY bad at being good, sadly.

tegerio

But he DID give it the slightest touch of empathy and thought!

St. Veronika

Apparently not enough to explain changelings and elven child rearing practices to Zandar in the nine months before her "WHERE IS MY CHILD" instincts kicked in.

Roo_CatUK

Adler looks like he has a spooky smiling face in the first picture

Katfeathers

Despite Alder's reaction to how far Zander went with Bunkirk, iirc Iranius had points of greater fury and wrath.

typeandkey

>Adler: You see some doofus with bad fashion sense bumble out of the trees and start poking Zandar with a stick. You have to admit, the scene is pretty funny. When Zandar wakes up and yells at him your amusement dissipates. Is she going to kill this hapless oaf for mildly annoying her? You wouldn't put it past her, you draw your bow ready to intervene if necessary. When she doesn't immediately try to murder the man and bathe in his blood like the evil psychopath she is, you get curious and pook to a better spot to eavesdrop on them. Curious, the man says he was sent by a mysterious benefactor in a dream to find her. Curious and mildly alarming. This benefactor would have to have access to some potent magic to speak to someone in a dream and pinpoint Zandar's Exact location. You follow them to continue listening in on their conversation. Zandar tells the man that you think of no one but yourself. Bah! She's one to talk! She also tells him that you used her to please yourself through venery. That's a damn lie! She consented! All the slander spewing from Zandar's mouth is making you see red! And you didn't trick her into giving you the crown, you were completely straightforward about it! You perk up in alarm when the fox says you know his name. You do the old elf trick of distracting him with a magic song before he can spill the beans. Zandar, with blatant disregard for the fine arts and quality craftsmanship, throws a rock and breaks your favorite lute! Are there no depths she won't sink to?! Zandar tries to seduce the poor fool, and she has the nerve to call you an abuser! Obviously this poor idiot is being manipulated by forces beyond him. Right when he's about to say your name again you put a stop to it by hitting him with a mild elfshot. He'll be safer with you than with Zandar. You'll just ask him a few questions, make him forget your name, and send him on his way.