Burnside and I exited the pub (Patreon)

and stood on the sidewalk.

"Welp," she observed. "Reckon we know where the stone circle is. Oughten we to head back to the train station an' wait for the others?"

"Not yet," I replied. "There's still plenty of time before our rendezvous. Let's go check where that sell-out directed us, to make sure it’s the right place."

We turned left out the door, right at the second crossing, and climbed up the hill, where we at last came to a shady, slightly ominous alleyway.

"Looks like a good spot for trouble," Burnside remarked darkly. "As yo bodyguard, I should go in first to make sure it’s safe."

"Oh come now," I scoffed. "We're right next to the magistrate’s house. This is obviously a safe, well-maintained neighborhood. What are the odds that we’ll get jumped here of all places?"

As we stepped into the alley, I felt the card with the strange cipher on it begin to vibrate in my Elfintory. I pulled it out to see the runes on it glowing slightly. I heard a voice call out above me.

“Hey! You’re not Earl! What are you doing here? How did you get that card?”

I yelped involuntarily at the sight of a spider femme looming above me. My training ordeal with Sheila Na Gig flashed before my eyes.

Burnside pulled out a knife and growled. “I told you we was walkin into a ambush!”

We turned as another voice called out from the entrance of the alley behind us.

“Aye, they moost be saboteurs!" the tartan-bedecked cat declared. "Twould ha' ta'en a master spee tae infiltrate our fool-proof communication netwark at the Texty Toombler!”

“Fool-proof??" I retorted. "It was one drunk guy with a badge the size of a grapefruit!”

“Enough of your obfuscation!" the spider hissed. "Tell us what you’re after, fiends!”

“If you’re associated with the school I heard about, I just want to talk to you! If the curriculum meets my approval I am ready to lend my support to the endeavor! I have three potential students to enroll too!”

“Ee knaws tae mooch!" the cat declared. "We’ll need tae bring em in for interrogation!”

“You don’t need to do any such thing," I protested. "I’ll happily answer your questions right here!”

“Hey!" the spider snapped. "I said no more obfuscation!”

“Them's a couple a idiots," Burnside snarled. "May I PLEASE shut em up?”

“Subdue them," I ordered. "No killing, maiming, or crippling. I want to get in these people’s good graces.”

"Well that ain't no fun…”

Within a matter of seconds, the spider was hogtied with her own silk and Burnside had the cat pinned to the ground and was slapping his face with his own arm.

“Quit hittin yerself, quit hittin yerself,” she taunted.

“ENOUGH!" another voice suddenly bellowed from the other end of the alley. "There’s no need for violence. Who are you and why do you have that card?”

“Some drunken shill at the Texty Tumbler gave it to me. As for my name, you may call me Mr. Young.”

“Our middle-man must have given it to you by mistake,” the wizard muttered, then turned toward the cat. “MacMath…”

“Twas a fool-proof plan!" the cat protested from the ground, where Burnside still had him pinned. "The secret cood was tae talk aboot the Texty Toombler, then ask 'im if 'e cam there often, an' then comment aboot t' weather afore askin aboot me favorite leaflet series! A cooded message disguised as casual conversation, just leek in all me bonny spee novels!”

“MISTER MacMath," the wizard sighed. "The real world does not work like a spy novel.”

“Will someone please untie me," the spider complained. "My legs are falling asleep.”

I nodded to Burnside and she reluctantly let MacMath up. As he began to untie the spider, the wizard continued speaking: “I am know to my students as Headmaster Xavier Hoardblemish. It seems there has been a misunderstanding. I deeply apologize for this less than stellar introduction.”

“I came here because I heard about your school," I replied. "I am interested in your curriculum and perhaps might wish to establish long term relations with your institution.”

“I see. Well, I must confess we're only just starting out and there's appallingly little to show ... but we do have access to an ancient elvish palace which we've been permitted to turn into a magickal academy! The library alone is awe-inspiring, and there still remain many areas as yet unexplored. We should go there to discuss whatever proposal you may have. Therefore, I cordially invite you and your companion to our campus.”

“There are four more people in our group," I pointed out. "My protege and her students. We are supposed to meet up again in front of the train station.”

“We shall accompany you," Hoardblemish beamed magnanimously, "and make sure to give them a much friendlier welcome than you received. It’s the least we can do.”

"Actually I'd like to take a quick peek at the Gate before we go," I insisted. "Just to make sure we've come to the right place."

"You know about that?" Hoardblemish asked with mild surprise.

"It's a notable landmark," I answered cautiously, "to someone in my field of specialization."

With a gracious bow, Hoardblemish turned and led us out of the alley and onto a rustic hedge-lined lane.

“Soo…" MacMath grinned conversationally as we walked along. "Have ye read FNIA Fanfic?”

Before I could answer, we emerged in a small clearing, at the center of which was a dolmen surrounded by a ring of small stones half-buried in the grass.

"My lord!" Rebecca exclaimed when she saw me. "If you're here too, then this must be the Gate! We found it! We were just about to head back to the station, but now I suppose we won't have to."

"Don't let on that we are elves," I thought loudly with Elfmind. Would she pick up on it?

"MY HOME," Fiona squealed as she danced around and stroked the stones of the dolmen. "SOON I SHALL RETURN TO FAERIE AND CLAIM MY RIGHTFUL PLACE."

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