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straightening the hem of her skirt, just as Rebecca emerged from the Underworks tunnel. "Hoo-wee! The pause that revitalizes sure ain't Persoc-Itoome!"

"Amazing!" Rebecca exclaimed in amazement. "Look at how the trees busily and efficiently clear away the bodies!"

I turned to look, and was astonished to see large forest trees using their roots to gouge out huge mass graves while vines separated and stacked the armor and weapons. I wasn't expecting them to move this fast! Bonsai must have had it all planned ahead of time. Was his(?) challenge to my honor earlier today merely for show? Or maybe these resources were already on the way during the long time we stood staring at each other. I would have to find out how this was coordinated.

"When can I learn the language of trees, My Lord?" Rebecca asked eagerly as Burnside began rummaging through the pile of weapons.

"I suppose it is time to resume your training which I've neglected for so long," I admitted. "By the way, where's Thomson?"

"She was afraid to come out," Rebecca shrugged. "Claims that the screaming is too much for her."

"Hmm," I mused. "I'll have to take care of her as well, but for now let's get you started with the basics of Gramarye. This may be a bit of a step backward, but it's important to have a grasp of the fundamentals, so I'll start you off with the same lessons I first learned."

I looked around for a pumpkin, but realizing I was unlikely to find one under these circumstances, I settled on the nearest substitute.

"Name that rock," I ordered, pointing at a large stone in a section of the field that the trees had already cleared.

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typeandkey

Are you trying to get Tegerio sued??

Rick2tails

and spring has become summer

typeandkey

>Rebecca: “You mean that rock the pumpkin is sitting on?” >Adler: “What pumpkin?” And why do you feel this question has been asked by others millions of times before? >Rebecca: “That one right there, sitting on the rock you pointed at.” >Adler: You blink. “Oh.” Man, pumpkins and mushrooms are weird… And easy to miss. >Nearby Shrub Knight: “One of our new recruits must have brought that…” You postulate confidently. >Adler: “okay, well, regardless, name that pumpkin. Don’t just give it a silly random name,” you echo your mother’s teachings. “Name it what it is, what you feel deep within your heart that its name should be.” >Rebecca: You concentrate on the pumpkin, clenching your jaw and making your eyes bug out mimicking Adler’s special concentration power. It’s forming in your mind. You can see the pumpkin’s name clearly. “Okay, I have it!” You say excitedly. “The pumpkin’s name is Little Neil Blue Cleveland Rose-Richard Silica Quartz-Quartzite Diamond Jr. He was named after his adopted father, the stone he is sitting on.” You beam with pride. >Shrub Knight: “Ugh, pumpkin’s and their flashy names…” >Adler: You blink and glance back and forth between Rebecca, the peanut gallery Shrub Knight, and the pumpkin with the obnoxiously long name. “Sure. Why not?” You recompose yourself back into wise-teacher mode. Since Rebecca was a fast learner last time you tutored her, you decide to see if she can do something more complex than commanding the pumpkin to sit and be orange. “Start with something interesting,” You advise. “Use the pumpkin’s name and command it - in proper Gramarye - to do something it wouldn’t normally do.” >Rebecca: “Okay! I love making pumpkin lanterns, but I hate cleaning up the mess when they go bad, so: Little Neil Blue Cleveland Rose-Richard Silica Quartz-Quartzite Diamond Jr, never rot. Be fresh forever! … Did it work?” >Adler: “I like your ambition, but maybe try commanding it to do something that we don’t have to wait a month to see.” >Rebecca: “Okay. Well, I hate it when bratty kids come along and smash the pumpkin lanterns my coven worked so hard on, so: Little Neil Blue Cleveland Rose-Richard Silica Quartz-Quartzite Diamond Jr, be smash proof, but you can still be carved into a pumpkin lantern… Did it work?” >Adler: You address the Shrub Knight. “Hey, smash that pumpkin with your spear.” >Shrub Knight: “Sorry, your majesty, that just isn’t possible. This Stab-O-Matic 5000 Summer model spear is only built for jabbing and stabbing. Using it to smash something would void the warranty.” >Adler: You rub your temples in frustration. Is this what it felt like when your mother taught you magic? “Okay… Rebecca, try commanding the pumpkin to do something that we can immediately see the results for.” >Rebecca: “Alright, let me think. Okay! Little Neil Blue Cleveland Rose-Richard Silica Quartz-Quartzite Diamond Jr, start talking.” >Pumpkin: “Oh wow, lady, you’re a frikkin’ genius! Telling a pumpkin to start talking! What’s next? A spittin’ scarecrow? A sassy snowman? Wow! I bet you’re the top of your class! Idiot.” >Rebecca: “Hey!” >Adler: “Now see here! I am the crowned Emperor Adler Young, ruler of all of Fairea! You can’t talk to my student like that! Apologize at once!” >Shrub Knight: “He won’t. Typical pumpkin behavior.” >Pumpkin: “Hoo-wee! You’re an emperor? Well, you smell like a typical dirty, stinky skunk-elf to me. I don’t even have a nose yet and I can smell you all the way from over here! Try asking again while you’re standing upwind of me and maybe I’ll think about it.” >Adler: You roll up your sleeves in righteous indignation. “Why you little! I’ll show you what for!” >Shrub Knight: “Get him, my liege! Don’t take any guff from that grumpy gourd!” >Rebecca: You watch in bewilderment. >Adler: With a punch you deal the pumpkin a mighty blow. >Pumpkin: “Heh-heh-heh. I’m smash proof, stink-head! You’re gonna have to do better than that. Also, you hit like a little girl with no arms.” >Adler: The pumpkin’s taunt hits a nerve and you start seeing red. “I am NOT a little girl!!!” You kick the pumpkin with all your might and send it flying through the air. It sails through the firmament towards a distant Gap. That obnoxious squash will be the lowfolk world’s problem now. >Pumpkin: “I know your name! I’ll get you back for this!” >Shrub Knight: “You did what had to be done, my lord.” >Adler: You turn back to Rebecca and see her scratching her head in confusion over what just happened. You take a deep breath to calm down. Rebecca shows great talent for a novice, you do however remember your mother’s warning, ‘unexpected outcomes are seldom pleasant.’ She was right. “Okay… Let’s move on to chairs.”