Meadow’s sudden appearance (Patreon)

shocked the hiccups right out of me. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. What were the odds that Meadow would suddenly appear at this exact moment when I was thinking about her? Fuma’s Gift of Luck must have been working overtime to pull this one off! I could almost picture the Lady hovering somewhere just outside of reality and orchestrating all of the improbable events of my life. She was probably having a good laugh.

"Where have you been all this time?" I exclaimed after removing my knuckles from my eyes and seeing that Meadow was in fact still there. "Why did you abandon me right when my life was hanging in the balance, on the very eve of my trial? Why are you here now? And what in the nine Netherhells are you wearing??"

“Yeah, well," Meadow explained. "I’m sorry about leaving like that. A whole lot happened in a very short time, and then it didn't really let up over the past few centuries. That mysterious scry-call I got all that time ago was, unsurprisingly, a Vulpitanian ruse. It was a half-fake emergency involving my former mistress, Dame Chitterleigh. I won't bore you with all the details, especially since the whole incident is classified Top Secret, but it turned out that the Wolf Queen and the Master of Elfhame needed my immediate assistance. I didn't mean to leave you twisting in the wind, but I was honor bound to help those elves at a moment's notice. I thought I could take care of business and get back in time to help out with your trial, but obviously that didn't happen. Things took longer than expected, but I was still confident that the King would not have his own brother and best friend executed. I heard you were sent to Antglade Station, and I thought about going there, but the opportunity never came. By the time I was finally free, there were Gaps everywhere, making travel difficult. The Plague of Battles had been covering the whole of Albric Tor for days, and it looked like the Empire was dissolved. Everyone I spoke to said that you had done it on purpose, but I knew you well enough to know it was preposterous to believe you could pull off a plan that big. Intelligence networks were down, and all the reports on your current state were conflicting. I didn’t know if you were alive or dead, and there was no way to get past the Plague field to find out. I did the only thing I could think of: I went back to Elfhame, because that realm was safe and stable and I had friends there. It didn't take long for weird things to start happening there too, and the Wolf Queen began to neglect her duties in favor of faffing about in the lowfolk world. It seems that Faerie requires a bikini-clad defender of justice, and I guess being the most capable Seelie femme left (because of my Agent training) I got nominated. The dreams at first were terrible, but eventually I gave in to my apparent destiny and became the, uh, the Mouse Queen. With Faerie in such a bad state, there was a lot to do. FAR too much to do. For every wrong I righted, a thousand more problems popped up. Missy always made it look so easy, like she was just goofing off most of the time. Maybe she was, in retrospect. No way a responsibility like this could rest so lightly upon someone. I felt like the entire world was on my shoulders and I was constantly on the verge of dropping it into a lake of burning lava."

"I can certainly sympathize with that," I nodded knowingly.

"I've traveled a lot over the last few centuries," Meadow continued. "I wandered around like a knight-errant from the Long Ago. I've made a few friends and a lot of enemies. The Vulpitanians have been out for my blood for a long, long time now. They had a grudging respect for the Wolf Queen, but a mouse? They give me nothing but contempt. Those Unseelie bastards have made a tidy business of taking advantage of the seemingly never-ending chaos, and creating even more mayhem whenever it suits them. During one lull in the action, I considered going after the Duchess of Daisies, as obviously the Plague of Battles was her creation, but I could find no trace of her. She disappeared as thoroughly as you did. Since my powers are restricted to Faerie, my best guess is that she’s been hiding in the lowfolk world, as you were."

"Oh yes," I declared bitterly. "She and her odious son-nephews are here, all right. I mean there. I sometimes forget after all this time that I am actually back in Faerie, at Albric Tor. We've been so busy clearing the battlefield, I have not even entered the city itself yet."

"I don't envy you for what you'll find there," Meadow stated bleakly. "I once had a sidekick, a wretched wight who was the result of an Unseelie Vulp fertility experiment. His parents, as near as I can gather, were a fox, a raccoon, and a scuti. Poor fellow was a mutated hybrid whose mismatched anatomy could barely function. He was monstrous: Multiple tails, chimera like features, and his overtaxed organs could barely keep him alive. He seemed so pathetic, I took pity on him and allowed him to be my squire. He turned out to be rather unreliable, constantly wandering off after various femmes. Eventually he didn't come back and I assume he died, poor soul. Considering his painful existence, perhaps Fuma’s merciful Embrace was the best thing for him. At least he was able to spend his final days doing something heroic." Meadow stopped talking and stared silently off into the distance.

“Wow…" I exclaimed after the pause got long enough to be uncomfortable. "That’s a lot you’ve been through. Why are you here now?”

"As chance would have it, I came across Bonsai and the Shrub Knights as they were marching towards Albric Tor. I was ecstatic to learn that you were still alive, but dismayed at Bonsai’s boldly stated intent to 'Put you to the test.' With the authority of the Mouse Queen, I convinced them to view you less harshly, even though they insisted that your association with some Outer character was unforgivable. I also suggested that they gather a work force to help you clear and bury the dead, because I knew the fields around Albric Tor were a mess. I was going to make a grand, dramatic entrance at the beginning of your confrontation scene with Bonsai, but, well… I'm not very good at flying. The wings itch, they're hard to maintain, and, well this is embarrassing to admit, but my large mouse ears are not very aerodynamic, and it is extremely hard to steer unless I tilt my head down, and then I can't see where I am going."

"Wings?" I asked, puzzled.

"Yes," Meadow sighed. "When I want to fly, I sprout wings from my back. A simple levitation spell would have been so much more practical, but no. It seems that the enchanter who designed the Regalia thought wings would be more sexy. Just look at it. There's no other reason for most of the Regalia's features. But to return to the point, I completely overshot the landing zone, spiraled out of control, and crashed into a pile of bones. I also lost my double bardiche and have spent the last few hours looking for it."

“Miss," Rebecca interjected, "your outfit needs more black.”

"What you call an 'outfit' is in fact my Regalia," Meadow sniffed. "A sacred uniform. I am not permitted to seriously alter it." She turned to me. "Who is this person, Adler? Are you consorting with witches? If you're not going to be a Seelie monarch then I'm afraid there may be Trouble between us."

"Ooh!" Rebecca grinned excitedly. "On a scale of one to ten, how wicked would you say I look?"

"Don't be fooled by Rebecca's garb," I chuckled. "She likes the dark aesthetic but she's as Seelie as they come."

“Hey, keep it down," Burnside protested drowsily. "Can’t yall see I’m tryin' to get some shut-eye with my new friend Mr. Choppy?”

“Oh, there it is,” Meadow exclaimed. She held up her hand and Sun-and-Moon started to levitate toward her.

“Hey!” Burnside yelled as the floating weapon dragged her along. "What the sam-hill is a goin' on??"

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