As I tried to make sense (Patreon)

of what Burnside had just said, a mental defense immediately silenced that train of thought. Part of my mind tried to drown out the encroaching distaste by re-immersing me in hollow platitudes. Never put the cart before the ant! The stitch in time that you save may be your own! Early to bed and early to rise makes Jack a dull boy! A bee in your bonnet is worth two bats in your belfry! Don't count your chickens while you're sitting at the table! There'll be time enough for counting when the cows come home!

The litany of gnomic proverbs rang hollow in my mind, and I felt foolish for even entertaining the idea. Why bother? Did I really have a reason for doing whatever it is I was expected to do? A reason beyond the fact that I was simply told to do it?

“Can we please put a gag on this Antglade pest?” Meadow asked.

"I wouldn't try it," Rebecca stated. “She bites.”

“Quit yer bellyachin’" Burnside mumbled, "and just do yer doggone job.”

What did she just say??

‘Just do your job?’

Huh… As disturbing as they were, perhaps Burnside's dreams were sent from Fuma after all. I did spend a lot of time complaining and overthinking things. My followers and I had theorized some time ago, that my powers seemed to work best when I acted purely on instinct. Maybe I really had spent too much time agonizing over every little thing. I should stop thinking and just ACT, like I did on the parapet at the Battle of Albric Tor ...

Okay, bad example. And that was a big part of the problem! I was always dwelling obsessively on the bad stuff. Suddenly another vapid aphorism came to mind: "The key to success is forgetting your failures." Maybe there was something to that one! I had centuries to sort out my thoughts and all I did was go crazy. I was not at all happy with the way things had gone, and honestly, that was really the only reason I had come to resent my destiny. It had cost me a lot ... everything really, but that’s how it goes when one has a destiny… Dammit, there I was doing it again! Yes-yes, destinies are painful and I was unhappy about it, but for the sake of my sanity, dignity, and pride, I needed to get things moving. Another pithy old saying drifted across my consciousness: "Fuma watches over drunkards, fools, and international jewel thieves." I might not be a drunkard or a thief, but by the Lady! When all of the dust settled, I should at least be able to say that I jumped at Fuma’s call! It was a jump that took over 200 years to get off the ground, but who besides myself was really counting?

“Can we at least roll her back over so her face is in the grass?" Meadow implored. "I don’t want to hear any more of her depraved dreams.”

“You should try sharing a cabin with her,” Rebecca intoned, with a meaningful glance.

“Oh, Adler honey," Burnside mumbled, just distinctly enough to be perfectly heard by everyone, "you ever had venery with a gal while locked in a scaphism boat?”

“Okay, yes, let’s roll her over!” Rebecca suddenly exclaimed, as Meadow made a weird retching noise in the back of her throat. "I don't even know what that means, but I'm sure it's horrible!"

“That won’t be necessary!” I declared with confidence. “We can wake her up in a minute. There’s a lot of work to be done! Burnside’s vile ramblings have actually spoken to me.”

“We don’t have any barbecue sauce,” Meadow pointed out sarcastically.

“Hush. It’s about time that I stop all my self-pitying and overthinking, and actually get things done.” I paused for dramatic effect.

“Okay,” Meadow said flatly.

“Weren’t we already doing that, my lord?” Rebecca asked uncertainly.

“I mean, get things done without me getting caught in a loop, and actually having a plan. A REAL plan! Because, it is high time that I stop complaining and just DO MY DOGGONE JOB!”

“My lord, how wonderful!” Rebecca cheered. "Your resolve is an inspiration to us all!"

"The Antglader is rubbing off on you," Meadow remarked. "In more ways than one, I suspect."

PREV www.patreon.com/posts/137913883