The story room (Patreon)

is warm and cozy as a roaring fire in the fireplace casts a golden glow over the room. Stockings hang from the mantel, a kringle-baum stands proudly festive in the corner, and blinking lights on strings festoon the crown molding. Your December hostess, Bella Minkworthy, stands in front of the exit with her arms crossed, glaring at you.

“Nobody's leaving until someone pays me!" she growls. "I gave you a bloomin' Five-Star Show! Well, three and a half at least… BUT! The unverified ad that showed up randomly taped to my bedroom window promised me free drinks and ‘substantial pay’ for reading holiday poetry to you lot! If any of you want to see the outside anytime soon, you'd better start looking under the couch cushions because I’m not budging!”

“HO! HO! HO! MERRY KRINGLEMAS!” Adler Young shouts joyfully as he kicks the door open, sending Bella flying to the other end of the room.

Adler lets out a jolly, theatrical laugh as he slings a large heavy-looking sack off of his shoulder. It resounds with a festive thump as it hits the floor. The skunk-elf himself is quite a sight, decked out from head to toe in a red velour Kringle costume.

“A very warm winter greeting to you all," he bellows jovially. "My wonderful listeners! I come bearing gifts with warm regards from the Kringle AND a most wondrous tale to tell!” He opens the sack and starts handing out dolls and toy trains to everyone in the room. “Sorry, there are only dolls and trains. Of the many things the Kringle excels at, staying on-brand has to be near the top of the list.”

Bella struggles out of the pile of debris where she landed, and stomps over to Adler. She points her finger accusingly at him and waves a scrap of paper in his face. “Listen here, Sonny Jim! I worked nearly a full FOUR hours this month - I never do that! - reading that sappy Christmas story! Someone owes me a right ruddy fat paycheck!”

Adler's jolly expression falls into a light scowl as he recognizes the angry femme before him. “Oh. I remember you from last year. You’re the one that kept flubbing her lines.” He looks at the piece of paper Bella is brandishing. “I don’t recognize this ad and I most certainly didn’t sign off on it. Elves do not lie. But I'll make sure you don't leave empty handed.” He reaches into the bag. “I don’t carry lowfolk currency on me, so here’s a doll for your troubles. It's elf-made; top quality. Not like the cheap mass-produced garbage you're probably used to. Now then, why don’t you go sit down with the rest of the audience and I’ll regale you with a story of my thrilling adventures. That’s worth more than any amount of money, surely!”

Bella snatches the doll with an angry huff and stomps over to a seat.

Adler ambles over to his reading chair and spots a little red and white striped book lying on it.

“What’s this?” he asks as he flips through the pages. “Wait… This is the exact adventure I went through over these last few weeks! And even worse, it’s been made into excruciating rhyming doggerel! ‘Written by Typeandkey and Tegerio’? Well-well. Looks like I finally know who’s been publishing my life story without my permission. Guess who is going to be finding a cease-and-desist in their stockings? I'll have to get my legal Floozies on that right away."

He casts the book aside and settles into his chair. "By Fuma! I didn't realize how tired I was. There hasn't been a chance to rest all month. Tell you what: Since you’ve already heard my adventure saving Kringlemas, why don't we all just relax and enjoy a mug of hot cocoa? I'll get back into the main story next week.”

...

HAPPY NEW YEAR and thanks for sticking around.

The Ballad of Adler Young will continue in 2026.

PREV www.patreon.com/posts/146478078