“Split up??" (Patreon)

I retorted angrily. "No! That’s a terrible idea! There’s safety in numbers! Even if this dullahan is a fake, he can still be dangerous to a lone person!”

“Plus, I won’t be able to see all the grisly details if I lose track o' yall,” Burnside pointed out.

“You lowfolk youths can have your fun back home," I continued. "This is Faerie. Magick is real here! You have no idea what you’re dealing with. We stick together, find whatever ridiculous ‘clues’ there are to find, and brute force our way through this preposterous mystery as quickly as possible! Then I send all of you home. You should never have even been here in the first place.” I turned to walk through the door I had just opened, but the pile of deflated rubber was blocking the way. I grumbled in frustration and stomped over to the entrance door we had ducked through during the previous chase. I released the latch and began to open the door...

“WAIT!” Rebecca yelped.

The door swung open to reveal an empty street. I turned to look at Rebecca quizzically.

“Oh…" she muttered, slightly embarrassed. "I thought the dullahan was going to jump in through that doorway and scare us.”

Suddenly a rug on the floor went flying across the room as the trapdoor beneath it violently swung open! The dullahan stomped up the cellar stairs, holding its severed head in one hand and a mace wreathed in ghostly flame in the other!

“If this here critter is a fake then I can stab him!” Burnside yelled as she brandished her dagger and charged at the dullahan.

The dullahan swung its ghostly mace, and the blade of Burnside’s dagger broke clean off, leaving the raccoon standing there with just a hilt in her paw. “Nevermind!” she yelped as the ghastly creature loomed over her.

Suddenly the little bit of courage I had seemed to drain out of me. “RUN!!!” I yelled, and everyone scrambled frantically out into the street.

As we were all running for our lives like panicked elflets, I chanced a look back at the dullahan as it stood in the doorway we had just vacated. It seemed to be fiddling with something on its wrist. Suddenly some loud, raucous music began to blare out all around, as if magick sound amplifiers had been hidden all over the city just out of sight. I recognized the song as being something that was mildly popular among traveling bards in my youth.

"Like, groovy!" Slovenly yelled as he fled down the street.

“Hey!" I bellowed indignantly. "You can’t play that tune in a public place without permission from the Songster's Guild!”

“I don’t think he cares, my lord!” Rebecca said as she put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me forward.

The sound of "Our Haunted Heartbeats" (as performed by Johnny Six-Gills and the Riverside Chompers) reverberated around the city as we ran.

"The midnight bell rings out above the tower

We slip inside to test our daring power

My pulse is thundering but I’ve got you near

No howling wind or ghostly cry will steal our cheer"

I lost track of Rebecca in the confusion and somehow wound up running alongside Slovenly and Folly-La. The three of us dashed into "You've Urned It," a store that specialized in large pots and baskets perfect for hiding in. We all jumped inside various vessels, moments before the dullahan lumbered in after us. It was quiet for an unbearably long time. Finally I could no longer stand the suspense, and risked a peek under the lid of my pot.

What rotten luck! The dullahan was pulling the lid off of the pot right next to my hiding place right as I peered out. I quickly ducked back inside, but my hiding place was compromised! Acting on instinct, I instantly pooked myself into a nearby basket I had seen out of the corner of my eye. Peering through the basket weave, I saw the dullahan yank the lid off of the pot I had just been in. Its shriek of triumph turned into a moan of confusion as it realized I was not inside.

"Like, classic gag, man," Slovenly chuckled from a nearby amphora. The fool! Was he trying to get himself killed? I concentrated and pooked the idiotic lowfolk goat into a different container as the dullahan made a beeline for the container where the sound had come from.

Finding that one empty as well, the dullahan spun around, emitting an unearthly wail. I raised my head, stuck out my tongue, and made a rude noise. Then I ducked back into my basket and pooked to a different container. The dullahan ran across the room, yanked the lid off of the now-empty basket, and screamed in rage.

Even with Slovenly constantly laughing, we could have played this game indefinitely ... but after a while the Dullahan began smashing the pots and crushing the baskets with its mace instead of bothering to look inside. That's when we decided to jump out and run back into the street.

The song was still playing. Johnny Six-Gills' bubbly voice reverberated eerily off of the cobblestones of the deserted city.

"Shadows loom in every corridor

But we’ve gotta make it out the other door

Just run into my arms and our love will see us through

Just run into my arms and our love will see us through

doo doo doo doo"

I was suddenly engulfed in a cloud of thick fog. I could no longer hear Slovenly and Folly-La, but it was too risky to call for them or turn around and try to search. The whimsical youngster and his ant were on their own. I thought I recognized the shape of a building through the fog, so I veered toward it and raced across a smallish plaza, when suddenly, WHAM! I ran headlong into Rebecca and Maeve (the lowfolk femme with the spectacles and the sweater).

As the three of us sat there stunned, trying to get our bearings, suddenly the fog lifted and the dullahan came charging across the plaza at us, swinging its mace wildly.

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MERTHY THAKETH, THLOVENLY!! How will our heroes get out of this one??