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"Well, er, you see, the thing is," (Patreon)

Published:
2026-05-05 02:31:07
Imported:
2026-05
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I floundered, my mind racing. The look of betrayal on both of their faces cut much deeper than I thought it would. I had every right to be outraged! They were mere lowfolk, and they basically asked me, the rightful Emperor of Faerie, point blank if I was an elf here to take their adopted daughter - MY daughter - away. What nerve! I could still sidestep most of what they were asking, and walk or pook out of here in high dudgeon, but… When I looked into their faces I couldn’t help but see Vernier looking back at me. This was Vernier’s family and they raised my daughter well, even better than I could have hoped. So even though it went against every elfly principle to deal openly with them, it felt even more wrong not to do so. I was going to have to be honest. (Within reason, of course.) I finally stopped waffling and spoke up.

“The essence of Mary’s supposition is true. I am not a blood relative to either of you, and I have been here solely to check in on Kelly’s well-being. However, I represent no one but myself. It was I who left Kelly on your doorstep. I am the rightful king of the elves."

"Rightful?" Seamus asked suspiciously.

"There have been a great many complications recently with the royal succession," I explained. "But elves do not lie. I am the legitimate heir to the throne."

"The fair folk are tricky," Mary stated to her husband, "but sure, they won't tell a baldfaced lie. If he says he's the king, it must be true."

"I pray that you can forgive me for the deception," I continued, "but I swear to you that my evasiveness was for Kelly’s protection as well as yours. Kelly, your adopted daughter, is the Princess of Faerie. The empire is currently in shambles and it is my responsibility to rebuild it. It's not an ideal environment for bringing up a little girl. There is a great deal I am trying to accomplish and there are many who would resort to less than honorable methods to stop me. Even if I had all of the resources I wish I had, Kelly couldn’t remain with me, for her own safety - and her mother is… let's just say, an extremely dangerous femme."

"Sounds loike she could have kept her wee one safe," Mary pointed out darkly.

"Are you familiar with the term Unseelie?" I asked. The O'Dors both gasped and stepped back. "I've been inaccurately accused by my critics of being Unseelie, but Kelly's mother is the real thing. Letting her raise the child would have ensured that she became a monster. Now, I don’t know fully what role Kelly has to play in Fuma’s plan, but your husband is right that Fuma will find a way for her to do it. It is best that she strengthen her abilities in preparation for when that time comes. I understand the importance of family, and I would never seek to rob you or Kelly of that. I am not planning on taking her away from you forever. I'm not even planning to take her with me. The haunted city in the story I told the children? That's the current state of the imperial capital. I wouldn't bring Kelly there. She will be going to a school situated just inside the old summer palace."

"It's actually in Faerie?" Seamus asked.

"Accessible through a Gate in the town of Percysthorpe," I stated. "Although the school itself is in Faerie, almost all of the faculty and student body are lowf- I mean, mortals from your world. Your ancestor, Vernier, was a very close confidant of mine. She was kind, practical, and wise. It would be an insult to her memory to treat my daughter’s adopted family like a resource to be left behind. If you despise me for my conduct in your lives, that’s fair enough, but I promise that I never intended any heartache for you or your family. This is Kelly's home. Here's where she will return on holidays. I am not stealing her away to live in Faerie, because to be honest, most of Faerie is uninhabitable right now.”

"We mustn't tell the lass that she's a fairy princess," Seamus muttered. "Sure, twill go straight to her head."

"We'll be tellin her nothin," Mary declared, "an she'll not be goin anywhere."

"But macushla," Seamus protested gently, "surely the King o' the Elves knows best."

"Oi appreciate yer honesty, Adler," Mary continued, "but everything ye've said just further convinces me that here's the best place for Kelly."

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Comments

Decadent Arsenic

I still think that Zandar would have done fine, but she was never given the proper chance in the context of when she was living with Adler, since instead of trying to raise the kid in Faerie, Adler decided to fumble so hard he broke both of his legs onstage, metaphorically. Once when he gave the kid to Vernier's family, second when he fucked up trying to get Zandar to understand that she would be fine by unintentionally implying that they were eating the dead swapped-out infant. "Well what happened to the lowfolk kid?" "I made stew!" i am never letting that die, it was such a colossal fuck up. Anyway, like if Kelly isn't allowed to go to school she'll be less able to defend herself against the actual unseelie threat, so the best idea i would have is go for that angle.

Walter Reimer

Mary's gone into full maternal mode.

Vet

Mama shonk gonna protect.

typeandkey

>Seamus: You try to appeal to your wife’s ability to reason. “Now, Mary, the brochure makes it clear the school has good security. Surely a castle full of wizards can provide better security than our little cottage in the country. Plus… the lads have been talking about all the trouble brewing on the continent. It doesn’t sound like it’s going away.” >Mary: “Oh pish to that. It will all fizzle out into nothing. You mark my words. I have a way of knowing these things.” >Adler: You internally frown in disappointment as you observe Seamus and Mary arguing. Seamus is more than supportive of broadening Kelly’s horizons, but Mary is doing the stereotypical overprotective mother thing. No amount of reason or discussion will crack through her hormonally fueled emotions. You could simply force the matter. There is little either of them could do to stop you. But, after the heartfelt confession you just gave them, that would be a step backwards. Seamus is for it, so the seed has been planted. Kelly doesn’t need to go right this minute, you still need to visit the school and gauge whether or not Zandar can be trusted to be in the same building as Kelly. Plus, you have a feeling things will move in a direction that will convince Mary. Maybe Fuma’s luck will shine through. You step out of your thoughts and back into the moment. You are surprised to see the normally stoic Seamus playing the part of the thoroughly henpecked husband. >Mary: “You also leave the privy seat up AND you snore! So don’t you tell me-” >Adler: You politely clear your throat. “Well, I thank you both for your hospitality, and I thank you for hearing me out. I can see that you have a lot to discuss, and I myself also have matters that require my attention. I think it is about time that Rebecca and I hit the road while there is still daylight.” >Mary: You are visibly surprised. “Really? That’s it? You’re not going to try to bewitch us or steal her away in the night?” >Adler: “Yes, that’s all. I will leave it in Fuma’s hands. What happens next will be up to her.” >Seamus: “Well, if you’re sure…” >Adler: All three of you exit the kitchen back into the living room to see Kelly covered in Rebecca’s favorite style of witchy makeup. Kelly’s brothers are both covering their mouths trying to hold in laughter. Rebecca is beaming proudly at her handy work. >Kelly: “Look, uncle. I am The Night Incarnate.” >Seamus: You are trying not to smirk. >Mary: You tilt your head. “Well, she doesn’t look like a Belfast whore, but it’s a little early for All-Hallows-Eve, isn’t it?” >Adler: You glower at Rebecca as she grins sheepishly.