"I'd be delighted," (Patreon)

Venatrix declared excitedly.  "After folklore, fashion is one of my passions.  The particular style of dress I'm wearing was invented by a spider, as was much of Roger's wardrobe as well.  It all started with a talented seamstress named Serica who had two very enthusiastic patrons..."

"... and the Lord Centipede and the Lady Millipede did indeed wed," she continued after what seemed like a neverending, interminable backstory.  "And they commissioned Serica to make clothes for all 300 of their children.  Each one had to be unique so the nobles could tell their offspring apart at a glance.  The wide variety of outfits she created became the basis for much of the costume popular today."

"All right, all right," I jumped in when Venatrix paused for breath.  "I wasn't looking for a comprehensive history of styles, just a description of what's trending right now; what's hot on the street, if you will.  You seem to have a keen understanding of the subject, so here's what I need first:  You must procure an outfit for a fashionable lady; and by that I mean a full set of clothes, everything from the ground up.  It must all look most swell, with the elegance and the pizzazz and the hey hey hey, but not attract undue attention.  I can give you her measurements, very nice, very feminine, but I'm not sure they are 100 percent accurate, so the clothes may have to be altered slightly when it comes time for her to wear them."

"That shan't be a problem," Venatrix stated confidently.  "I don't think I exaggerate when I say that I am a more-than-capable seamstress myself."

"Who is the special lady?" Barkingthwaite asked, with a roguish wiggle of his eyebrows.

"That isn't important yet," I declared.  "You'll find out more after you have finished this task, IF you finish this task.  Finding me was only the first of your tests.  Oh, and I shall give you funds enough to cover all your expenses pertaining to this matter."

"Oh pish-posh," Barkingthwaite scoffed.  "There's no need for payment, my lord.  The gift you've already given us is all we need.  Our newfound love will last a lifetime."

"No really, I insist," I insisted.  "I have a huge store of gold.  HUGE.  Let me reimburse you for your trouble.  Traveling here couldn't have been cheap, or easy.  The dress will have to be bought somewhere, and I should give you a retainer for future assignments."

Plus, I thought, word of a substantial cash reward might draw more followers!

"Oh it's no trouble at all!" Venatrix protested.  "We journeyed here at our own expense.  We fully expected a loss of finances.  And anyway, traveling between Eire and England isn't all that far.  We're happy to perform your tasks free of charge.  Not to be too indelicate, but I happen to have a ready supply of fabric which does not cost me a farthing!  It's the least we can do for what you've already given us."

"Take the money," I reiterated.  "For your time, if nothing else."

"Wouldn't dream of it, old bean," Barkingthwaite demurred.

"TAKE THE BLASTED MONEY OR I SHALL BECOME QUITE CROSS!" I yelled.  "WHEN AN ELF OFFERS YOU GIFTS, YOU DO NOT REFUSE!  IT'S A MATTER OF HONOR!"

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