Family from Beyond the Stars, Ch. 7 (Patreon)

Ch. 7Capturing Moments in TimeIt was strange to think how someone could grow used to being adrift in the darkness of space, millions of lightyears from the only planet he had ever known, but Kenny soon found himself having done so.  In fact, he awoke each and every day happier than he had ever been.  He, the cubs, and Nova had even set up a system of their daily routines, and as the days went by, their bonds only seemed to grow ever stronger.They would begin their "morning" when the ship dropped out of slipspace, loitering around the edges of various solar systems to refuel the solar-power banks on the wing and port nacelles.  The pods would open, he and the cubs would stretch their legs, and then the play would resume right where they had left off the previous day.  This lasted until the cubs went back to sleep many hours later.  Play was never boring, the cuddle sessions remaining his favorite, and the views outside the ship never ceased to take Kenny's breath away.The children had seemingly grown half again their beginning length as well as gained several inches at the shoulder since they had left Earth.  They still walked primarily always on their six-limbs at once, but they were rapidly becoming more dexterous.  Their tails and tentacles assisted them in tasks too small or delicate for their six-fingered paws, and the level of control they had over the flexible, snake-like limbs was amazing.  The cubs were growing stronger and smarter every single day.At first, Kenny had been able to keep up thanks to his augmented and healthy body, but it became very apparent, as Nova's species grew, and grew fast, they soon surpassed any kind of Human body’s limitations.  Even so, he had quickly found his place as their source of comfort, all three eager at any time to pause in their games to get a hug, scratches, or soft words of encouragement.Their days were not entirely filled with just playing, however.  Nova insisted that the cubs incorporate what appeared to be hunting tactics into their games now.  She started small, such as hiding a cub's favorite toy, usually a hunk of scrap metal or other random objects, throughout the hanger bay and tasking her children to find it.She offered no hints or help and, at first, Kenny had felt this cruel.  The cubs obviously were distressed not to have the free reign to play however they wanted all the time, but they invariably always succeeded, which admittedly helped bolster their confidence.  Nova was also always fair in which activities she deemed them to have to do alone as opposed to the tasks that required two or even all three of them.In addition she worked to settle all disputes but only after seeing if they could do so themselves.  She only allowed Kenny, or herself, to intervene if a play-fight got too violent, as she actively seemed to encourage some roughhousing, even engaging in it herself at times.  For their part, the cubs rarely ever escalated things to require intervention, but there had been instances.The first actual confrontation that had warranted it came from Joey and Phoebe fighting over something that wasn't even clear.  They seemed to be growing more naturally aggressive and defensive about personal boundaries around one another, and after Joey had refused to back off, Phoebe had swatted him hard with a paw.  Her claws actually drew blood.  Kenny had been ready to leap in right then, but Nova had stopped him.  He was frustrated but knew she probably had a better idea of what the cubs needed as examples to grow and develop their minds as well as their bodies.Joey had yowled and shrunk back at first, both he and his sister hissing and snarling.  Then, eventually, Joey had sunk down and begun whining as he licked at his injury.  Just like that, Phoebe became worried and protective once again, wanting to go over and help.  Obviously, Joey had wanted nothing to do with her, and they'd bared their teeth savagely.  Claws, teeth, tentacles, tails, all had come into play as they stalked in a circle, ready to leap.Only at the last second did Nova intervene.  She caught both in her tentacles as they pounced and let them hang there, spitting and growling until they calmed down.  Afterward, they both received a tongue bath and were cuddled into docility once more by both of their parents.  They returned to play immediately, ready and eager, all wrongs seemingly forgiven.And so the time went on.  Kenny went to bed exhausted but happy every 'night' when Nova would tuck the cubs into their chambers to float in the yellow nutrient-enriching gel and then set the ship into 'slipspace' once more.  The word for the strange, pocket-sleeve the ship flashed into after each recharging had been taught to him by Nova.  They would sit up together for what felt like hours, trying to bridge the language gap or just watching the flashes of distant galaxies and solar systems passing by.Every other night, he also would rest in the tubes, while during the other times he would sleep in the always kept-open, blanket-padded cell pod they had arrived in.  Those nights he perhaps rested the least, occasionally kept awake by the savage snarls, growls, and animalistic sounds that drifted into the hanger bay from the inner confines of the ship, which lasted for hours at a time.  He had grown somewhat used to them, but he couldn't help the nightmares they still evoked.  He never mustered up the courage to ask Nova about them either.  So, instead, he distracted himself, during the day cycles, by trying to learn as much as he could about his strange new life with his adopted cubs and their hulking, taciturn, if endearing mother.He had been amazed to discover that the yellow, honey-like goo the pods produced was an essential and incredibly useful substance to the cub's growth and health.  It replaced, pretty much, every single biological need other than for exercise and mental stimulation.  Back on Earth, there had been many incidents of them actively devouring anything that was remotely edible but also safe to do so, and they had always seemed eager and ready to eat at a moment's notice.  They had also caused many...messes until he had been able to convince them to only do so in the shower, so at least it was easier to clean.  He would then dump the putrid excretions in various dumpsters he knew around the area.Now, however, they never seemed to have a need for anything but to play, brawl, and explore.  And the only reason he had even noticed was that, while remaking his 'bed' in his personal container with fresh blankets, he had found the discarded protein bar he had brought with him.  He also discovered his phone, which he had honestly forgotten even existed.  Fairly confident that the bar was still edible, he thought about giving it to the children as a treat, once Nova had approved that it was acceptable.  However, even though they had seemed overjoyed when he presented it to them, they had ultimately shown no interest.  And that was when he realized that, upon shrugging and deciding to eat it himself and to not let it go to waste, he had no appetite.He had not even once been hungry since arriving on the ship and coming out of the tube for the first time.  He felt no need to feed himself, or to quench his thirst, or even to use the bathroom, not that there was one seemingly anywhere onboard.  He'd ended up giving it to Nova, who sniffed it over and over before he peeled it for her and she ate it in a single snap of her huge jaws, if only to try it.  Her empathic sensor had immediately read as 'Happy', which at least made him feel much better, even if he was still curious as to his lack of the need for basic living functions.Upon querying this to Nova, who, as usual, had little to contribute in the way of real conversation, she had given him the impression that, just like how his body had been altered, so too was that the primary function of the tubes.  The gel was absorbed through the skin, transferring nutrients, minerals, and vitamins to the necessary organs, and removed all unnecessary chemicals and waste in much the same way.  Every time he awoke from being immersed in it, he felt as refreshed as if he had slept for a solid week.  It also did wonders for cell and body health.  His skin had never been pinker, his hair wasn't constantly falling out, and the cubs' coats shone like none-other, plus remained soft, luscious, and wonderfully thick.It was always a pleasant experience to pet them and, even as they got more aggressive, they never lost their love of a good snuggle session with him.  His only rule was that no fighting was allowed during.  He gave them all equal amounts of love and attention, and they were invariably calmer when he was finished.  They even made sure they all shared equally, nudging him over to another after their allotted time was seemingly up.The only one who had no interest in being petted was Nova, and he respected that.  Not that the cubs weren't constantly trying to get him to do so, or trying to get their mother to let him.  He took it as youthful innocence, but she seemed strangely shy about it.  The only humorous thing was that, when he was petting them, he occasionally caught her watching him with a strange, almost jealous look in her eyes at how much the cubs enjoyed it.He was also hesitant to attempt it during the nights when the cubs were asleep, even when there were multiple opportunities to do so.  It was just a weird thing to consider, asking 'Hey, Nova, would you like me to pet you too?'  Plus...that very idea, of touching her and stroking her fur the same way he did for the children, always inevitably brought his train of thought to another, especially embarrassing and confusing factor of his new, strange life on her ship.Back on Earth, Kenny had been a very lonely guy, and, as such, tried to deal with that by, at night, spending many mortifying hours tending to a certain need for any form of physical comfort or satisfaction.  After which he would always feel nothing but guilty and depressed about it.  It wasn't like he had the luck or the confidence to go out and actually try dating again, or to even just attempt an occasional hook-up.  He was ashamed to even think back on it, and if he could have one wish, it would have been to go back to his apartment and at the very least erase a few hidden files and his latest browsing history.  He wasn't into anything illegal or taboo, by society's standards anyway, but even so, living with a being like Nova was like something out of a fantasy.Watching her move around, play with the cubs, or generally just exist at all, produced various, unintended, and very prominent...movements.  He always tried to make sure he looked away or wasn't caught staring, but since she wore nothing but those synthetic coverings over only the barest parts of her, it was impossible not to notice how well-formed she was.  Sure, she was big enough to squash him, but would that really have been such a bad way to go?His remedy for such thoughts was always easy: a sharp blow to the head and severe mental chastisement.  Being reprimanded by her once had been enough, and he wanted Nova to respect him as much as he respected her.  He didn't want to be some pervert, but...there it was.  He thought Nova was beautiful, in every sense of the word.  True, his tastes in women varied towards a more fantastical, voluptuous, and amazonian build, which she had in droves and spades, but Nova was all of that and more.One would imagine that, in his private time, any self-respecting, or seriously self-hating man might have indulged in at least one 'what-if' mental scenario to deal with the obvious attraction he had to her.  And he was very attracted to her, sometimes catching himself staring off into space and thinking of nothing but her like some lovestruck high schooler.  Even with his new body, he knew he had nothing to offer her, not the least bit of detail being of a completely different species.The fantasy aspect of a human getting with a monster, or in her case an alien, was great for a story, but actually wrapping his head around attempting a real romance always left him feeling...guilty.  She was literally a widow, had even said she had lost a mate, but never how recently.  He knew how much that kind of loss could hurt.  The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, or the cubs.And yet, despite all of that, no one could possibly have blamed him for just dealing with it on his own, even just once.  Granted, the lack of places to do so privately were scarcer than water in a desert, and he would have died of the embarrassment of having to hide it after the fact.  But, there was also the biggest mystery of the gel's effects on him.  He never had the urge.Sure, he was attracted to Nova, always catching himself staring at her before making himself look away, and mortified that she might use her empathic implant and see what he was feeling.  But even when he lay awake at night, remembering when she had hugged him, or the few times she had licked his face, or even just her glowing smile and the way her body moved...he felt nothing.  There was no reaction, no need, and no desire to act upon it.  It was mentally exhausting, to say the least.  The only comforting thing about it all was that he knew, for certain, how he felt about her, without his stupid, male lower brain getting in the way.Even so, for all things considered, however, as amazing as the journey had been, Kenny had to admit that the days had begun to bleed into one another.  He was losing track of the passage of time, and the cubs, while always finding something else to get into or explore, were still, like him, restricted to the cargo hold.Nova had made it quite clear that the rest of the ship was off-limits, and he was able to respect that, even if he was bored of the routine.  The cubs were far less understanding.  Chandler especially wanted to roam and climb, and his mother had gotten onto him multiple times for trying to crawl into a vent or sneak off down the hall.The unfortunate reality was that the three children were beginning to look and act like animals at the zoo.  They were bright-eyed and energetic when they played, but they only knew the walls of their enclosure.  They were not prisoners, but even so, they had begun to spend a lot more time just laying around and sulking like moody preteens.  He knew they wanted something more, especially whenever they got to stare out the windows at the planets and stars they flew past.  They all needed something to break up the monotony of their everyday life, even as amazing as it was.One night, after the cubs had gone to bed, he approached Nova, who was, as usual, lounging against the walls of the cargo bay, playing with something in her tentacles.  To his surprise, she had somehow acquired his phone.  Her delicate claws on the ends of the snake-like, prehensile limbs explored the device from every conceivable edge and surface.  She would occasionally lick it, sniff it, or rub her face against the polished surface.  He cleared his throat to get her attention.All at once, her eyes went wide and she almost jumped up onto her paws, back arched like a startled cat.  Just like Chandler did.  She settled back down quickly and, after a flustered growl, proffered back his cell phone by extending the tentacle holding it.  She looked unhappy, even flustered, about being caught, for once dropping her stern, motherly air.He immediately raised his hands up at her.  "I don't mind you playing with it," he told her, refusing to take it back.  She seemed pleased if embarrassed.  He reached out with one hand and tapped the power button for her.  The phone's screen immediately turned on.  Her eyes fastened onto the image there and one claw curled down to touch it.  She cocked her head to the side, giving a soft rumble down at him.  He carefully walked around and in front of her, then turned to look at what she was staring so intently at.Immediately, one arm of hers thudded around his waist and he was abruptly plopped into her lap as she used the tentacle to hold it at their eye-level, although she had to bend her back rather far down to do so.  He tried to ignore the insane level of satisfaction he felt as she huddled her massive body down around his as together they looked at his cell phone.Kenny sighed as he saw the adorable picture of Emily on the day she was born that he had set as his lock screen.  His wrist and collar blipped.  'Yours?' Nova asked.He shook his head.  "No, not mine.  Austin's.  My friend's.  He wanted me to be her uncle, but..."  He looked away.  "I wasn't any good for anyone on Earth.  He's better off without me.  So is she."  Tears lingered in his eyes as he touched the curve of Emily's cheek.Nova picked up on his emotions seemingly right away.  Her nose bumped his cheek querying and he shook his head.  A growl came from her before she began insistently nudging and prodding him.  At first, he was slightly annoyed at her probing, but then she began to croon.  She snuffled against his collarbone, hot breath tickling his neck.Over the last few weeks they had spent so far together, she had become much friendlier towards him after his naming of her.  If anything, she acted much like an extra-intrusive dog who had no concept of personal space.  Not that Kenny minded at all.  It was a trait she shared whole-heartedly with the cubs, as they were all constantly all over each other and him as well.She, however, had always been reticent in doing so with just him when alone together.  Feeling her opening up like this in private made him sniffle even more, although half of it was from sheer joy.  Then the tongue came out.  It was just the tip of it, the barbs folded down, but that warm, soft lick broke through all of his defenses like a steel battering ram through castle walls made of styrofoam.Without even thinking, he turned, wrapped his arms around her jowls, and buried his face in her furry throat.  It was amazing how big and warm she was.  His arms didn't even fully go around her neck.  He could feel the thrum of what was the equivalent of her heartbeat through the fur, scales, and sections of pliant yet rigid synthetic bio-metal that made up her flesh.She started at his hug, letting him hang there off her for a moment before a big paw lifted and cupped him against her.  Their embrace only lasted a few seconds but they were among the single best moments of time in his entire existence.  When he finally leaned back, face damp and eyes itchy, he couldn't even remember why he had been upset.Her eyes gazed down at him warmly, perhaps a bit hesitant and curious, but her smile stretched her muzzle from ear to ear.  She wiggled her nose at him.  He laughed, to which she responded with a deep, throaty purr and a rumbling growl before she motioned at the phone once again.  They returned to their previous position of him reclining against her front while seated in her lap.  Her arms felt a bit tighter around him this time.He tapped the screen once again and unlocked it for her, displaying his menu of apps.  His nimble, no longer skeletal fingers scrolled over to the photo gallery.  Once there, he showed her how the camera worked.  She was fascinated by his seeming ability to capture moments of time on such a strange device, and he took no small amount of joy in posing for a selfie with her.Upon seeing her own face taking up a solid 75% of the screen, curious expression frozen in time, her eyes had gone incredibly wide.  She produced a purring sound, rumbling right behind his head in pleasure.  From there, she had insisted on all sorts of pictures for him to take, starting with one of each of the cubs in their tanks.  He indulged her in every single request.Only once she had satisfied her every last inclination to see photographs of, including a view straight down her mouth which was only slightly terrifying for Kenny to take given the last time he’d seen it so close up, she settled back against the wall.  Her tentacle immediately curled around him and once again he was plopped back down into her lap.  Her arms surrounded him on all sides and her chest made an admittedly wonderful pillow, although he tried his best not to lean too far back and reveal how much he was enjoying the sensations.As they scrolled through both new and old pictures, her empathic implant seemed to flash constantly.  He deliberately tried to keep certain folders from her, embarrassed for her to see what they contained and making a mental note to delete them.  Despite her curiosity, she seemed to respect his privacy.  Maybe it had just been his imagination though, but he thought he saw the scanner inside one of her eyes flashing while he swiped away from the gallery.  When he went back to the home screen, the blue orb had gone back to normal so he put it out of his mind.Then they found his music app.  If the ability to freeze moments in time with his camera had been akin for her to his reaction upon seeing planets of various alien solar systems, music must be the equivalent of the swirling galaxies that flashed by the hull during slipspace travel.  Her eyes dilated as wide as they could at the very first notes of a heavy metal cover of a pop song that he often found himself listening to on repeat.Just like the cubs, her whole body immediately responded on some subconscious level.  Her claws ticked rapidly on the steel floor, her stripes flashed to the beat and tenor, and her implant was almost like the lights at a rave.  And then he showed her how to dance.Turning the music on as loudly as he could, Kenny set it down and stood from her lap.  He faced her and began to wiggle in place, singing along to the words of the song that was playing, feeling embarrassed at first as she looked on in puzzlement.  Just like the cubs, however, the more excited and energetic he got, the more she responded in kind.At first, she only tapped her paws in time to the music or nodded her head, but as the songs went on and on, she quickly became more exuberant.  Soon they were strutting, side by side, up and down the hanger bay, her on all six limbs at times, deliberately swaying her posterior and tail.  The walls flashed from her stripes’ glowing radiance, a literal bio-light show.He played air guitar for her and she seemed fascinated that he could time his fingers to the music.  She tried it herself, reminding him of Chandler.  She bobbed her head from side to side as they strutted and stomped, making him think of Joey.  When she smiled, eyes glowing like lanterns, ears quivering, she was the spitting image of Phoebe, stalking around him to the beat of his favorite songs as he sang the words to her, even if she didn't understand them.Maybe she did.  Music was the universal language of emotions after all.  At that moment, more than any other time he could remember other than his naming of her, Nova truly was the most radiant, beautiful being in the entire universe.  He would never have imagined he would be so grateful that he had no other urgesthan his ever-growing, ever-consuming need to see her smile for the rest of his days.The song slowed, rapid beat and pounding metal fading to the vocals and soft harmonization.  He and Nova were suddenly looking at one another, somehow only a foot between his face and her muzzle.  Her eyes were focused entirely on his features, swirling pupils behind the glowing blue widening as much as they could.  He saw himself reflected in them.  They slid closed, slowly, cautiously, and she leaned her great muzzle forward.“Nova…I,” Kenny stammered out, frozen in place.Their foreheads met.  The weight of her, even gentle, rocked him back slightly on his feet before she came to a rest, leaning that huge furry head against him.  For a second there was only pressure, the gust of her breath against him, and the plushness of her fur against his skin.  Then, there was warmth.  It filled him from the point of contact as if pressing a heated towel against his face, a feeling that quickly spread from his skull and rapidly throughout his entire body as if transmitting her intimate touch through his very blood.  Without meaning to, his eyes slid closed as well.All thought, all emotion, everything faded away.  As Stephan Hawking once loosely said: "If Art was how one colored Space, then Music was how one colored Time".   This was his favorite color.  The chorus swelled, both in his ears and his heart, bringing wellsprings of emotion he’d never dared to believe he could feel.  Somehow, he knew she felt the same way, but not as if the emotion came from one or the other; it was a shared feeling, born from that single moment and frozen in time like a picture, a perfect memory.  He never wanted this to end.The music cut off abruptly.  They leaned back from one another, glancing back at the now silent device, before their gazes met once again.  The screen had gone dark; the spell was broken.  Her ears folded slowly back.  Her eyes were wide, pupils tiny slits of darkness underneath the spotlight blue of her huge orbs.  She wasn't just looking at him.  A tear, glittering like starlight, sparkled as it rolled down her striped cheek.  She shivered physically before him, and he knew why.He looked away first as a profound sense of guilt and shame rolled over him.  What on earth was he doing?  Nova was a mother, perhaps even the last of her kind, save for the Cubs.  She had lost her home, her Mate, everything that gave someone a sense of belonging or stability.  All she had was her kids.Just like with Emily, the last thing she needed was a leech.  He was, even now, just a useless social parasite that would latch onto her emotionally and drain her dry in his insatiable hunger to want something that would never really be his.  She didn't need him clinging to her as he had to Austin for so long.  Derrick, asshole that he was, had at least opened his eyes to the harm he was no doubt causing.  In the long run, maybe it had been the truth he needed to hear.He could hear his voice even now, see his smug face floating, specter-like, in the darkness of the void, peeking out from behind the pinpricks of light cast by foriegn constellations.  “They don’t need you.  The best choice you can make is to stay away.  What do you possibly have to offer someone like her?”Try as he might to block out Derrick’s phantom and its cruel jibes, he knew deep down they were right.  Nova had gone through so much, lost more than even Kenny had any idea was possible.  She was a fighter, a survivor, a mother; she was someone who didn’t have time to take care of someone like him on top of everything else.  The last thing in the galaxy that she needed was for him to fall in love with her.Too late for that."I'm sorry..." he whispered, jaw clenched and his eyes burning.  One of her paws, or her tentacles, brushed his cheek, light as a feather.  He kept them shut tight, denying his tears to even fall.  This wasn't about him, this was about her, about the cubs.  His feelings weren't important: she and they were all that mattered.  He tried to step back but she just touched him again, holding him gently in place.  "No, it's okay!" he insisted, eyes still closed.  "It's my fault!  I...I shouldn't have..."He turned to go, forcing her touch to fall from his cheek, allowing him to start to walk back to his sleeping chamber where he could hide.  She didn't need him.  No one did.  It wouldn't be long before she recognized that again, before the cubs did too.  He really would have been better as space trash.  Trash on Earth, trash in slipspace.Kenny heard Nova yowl softly behind him in protest.  Her paws sounded surprisingly soft behind him as she padded after him for a few steps.  He lifted a hand, trying to wave her away.  He just had to get to the chamber and close the door.  Nova had shown him how when he needed his own space.  He could cry in there.  She didn't need to see another example of how pathetic he was.The sounds of her footsteps halted.  Good, she had realized that following him was a waste of her time.  She yowled after him again, louder this time.  He ignored her.  She growled.  Then the earth suddenly fell away underneath his livesuit's feet and he was abruptly hanging there in midair.  Craning his head back, he saw the reason why: one of her tentacles had caught the hem of his suit's neckline and was holding him up.  The material stretched easily, not choking him.  His eyes had snapped open involuntarily but as he began to rotate back toward her at her tentacle's slow turn, he closed them tightly again.Hot breath brushed past his face.  He kept his mouth shut, hanging limp and still in her grasp.  Her nose shoved against his chest.  He didn't respond.  A sudden snarl from right in front of his nose made him do so, daring to look at her again.  He had felt that growl go through him like an actual force of nature, the vibrations of it literally sending shivers throughout his entire body.  He stared right into Nova's face, barely a few inches between them.  She was up on her hindlegs, arms crossed over her chest, and him dangling in front of her pathetically.  He had never felt so small, so useless, and so weak before.The massive, multi-limbed alien mother snorted at him again.  Her implant blazed to life, accompanied as ever by that sound from his livesuit.‘Nova was not done speaking.  Kenny will not walk away.’  Her eyes narrowed meaningfully.He sagged in her grip even more.  Even his choice to leave the situation on his own volition was being taken away from him.  Couldn't she see he wasn't worth this attention?  He was just a desperate, hopeless romantic, grasping at what he could never have and lying to himself that he had the loving family he had always yearned for but never deserved.Nova snarled again, making him jerk.  Her eyes were tight and her lip rolled back.  Her implant continued to glow.  "Your thoughts are not mine.  Your heart is closed by will.  Just as my heart is closed by pain."  She looked to the side, face conflicted, angry, afraid...lonely?  He wasn't sure how he could identify such a vast range of emotions in her furry face, but there it was, emblazoned in his mind as if he too had an implant, able to read emotions and surface thoughts or memories.  Her eyes met his, as equals.  "Nova is… sorry."His stomach lurched and he cast his gaze to the floor.  "You have nothing you need to be sorry about," Kenny told her quietly.  "I'm the intruder.  I'm the leech.  If it weren't for me, you and the cubs would be closer, happier."  He sniffed pathetically.  "Better..."Her teeth clicked closed in front of him savagely and he flinched on reflex.  Her eyes were flinty and hard.  She took a step to the side, rotating him to swing slowly in place.  Both of them looked at the tubes where the cubs dreamed in their yellow liquid beds.  His heart broke to see Phoebe was hugging herself with her tentacles and all four arms.  Her smile was so beautiful.  Just like Nova's."The Cubs," he heard in his head.  "Are my Family.  You are their Family.  Kenny hurts them thinking this way."  He turned back to her, swinging gently in the air.  One eyebrow had lifted meaningfully as if asking if that was what he wanted.He stiffened.  "Never!" he protested.  "I would never want to hurt them!  I love them more than anything!"  He bit his tongue before he added something along the lines of 'Almost anything'.Her face softened somewhat.  One paw lifted to touch her own chest.  "Kenny hurts Nova, thinking this way.""I’d never want to hurt you either..." he mumbled, sinking slightly again in defeat.  "But...I'm no good.  I'm just going to slow you and the kids down.  I can't keep up, even now.  Even stronger, healthier than I've ever been, you all still don't need me.  I'm not..."  He closed his eyes shut tightly.  "I'm not your Mate."She nudged him again, regaining his attention.  "You are not Nova’s Mate.  You are more, because you are not.  Kenny is their father."  The tentacle lowered him slowly back down to the floor of the hangar bay, letting his feet fully restore his entire weight before she completely let go.  "You are…"  She put her paw against her chest again.  "A friend." She knelt down, reclining onto all six limbs in front of him.  Her smile was soft, gentle, and kind.  Then she looked toward the wall, where the doors were that led to the trash disposal area.  Her eyes fell.  "Nova is…sorry."He hesitantly reached out and touched one of her paws.  She didn't flinch back.  Her eyes returned down to looking directly into his.  "You don't have to apologize," he told her.  His eyes glanced toward the same wall and he shuddered.  The action did not go unnoticed, causing her to wilt a bit in front of him.  "I understood perfectly, even back then.  I didn't...I didn't want to...d-die," he swallowed hard, shuddering at the visuals, the memories as she had made him walk slowly toward his own death.  "B-but I understood why.  No one wanted me on Earth.  It made sense that no one would want me...out here.  The only one who ever did..."  He looked away from her and the wall as memories of Phoebe, Human Phoebe, leaped again into his mind.Her tentacles drifted around him, as gentle as Her arms had once been.  "Your mate."  She spoke in that same direct manner, but it seemed more as a question than a statement."She got sick," he explained quietly.  "On Earth, we don't have the stimulant gel.  We either get better with medicine, or we die."  Nova understood.  "When she...when she was gone, the world went back to what it used to be without her.  My people put value in being tall, being handsome, being rich and successful.  I wasn't any of those things; I was worthless.”Nova growled as if about to cut him off but he did not stop this time.“You saw me.  I was a trash man.  Everyone hated me or looked right past me like I wasn't even there."  He looked slowly past her, to the cubs.  "When they came into my life, I thought 'This is my one chance to do something good.  This world is so cruel, but I won't let it take away these three beautiful kids.'  I could have gone to jail for hiding them.  I could have died."  He remembered the Agent pushing that gun against his head.  For the life of him, he couldn't even remember the man's name.  "But none of it mattered, so long as they were safe.  That they were happy, that's all I cared about.  It's all I want, even now."Nova stiffened slightly in front of him, growling under her breath.  By the time he looked back up at her, though, she had returned to just watching him with that unblinking stare.  He looked away again as another surge of appreciating how beautiful she was rose up, unwanted, in his stomach.  One of her tentacles tightened just a hair around him."You...letting me stay, be a part of their lives, is all I could ever dream of asking of you.  It's more than I have the right to."  He looked down at the ground, at her other paws.  Something bid him look back up at her again.  "I understand...exactly how much it hurts.  To watch someone you love die, and know you can do nothing to save or help them."Her eyes went at first wide then sank.  Even the glow behind them faded slowly.  Her empathic implant flashed blue."That's...what happened to their Father, isn't it?" he asked cautiously.  “Their real Father.”Nova looked away, out the window at the slipspace pocket they traveled through.  Her expression hardened, as if she were watching, waiting for something to change.  He realized that her entire body had gone stiff, her fur standing slightly on edge, almost seeming to crackle with latent energy, like Chandler’s did.  She was waiting as if expecting something to arrive at any second, and not something good.  He lifted a hand, shakily, tentatively, and just barely touched one of her powerful, hulking arms.  The limb was bigger than his whole chest was in width, but her fur was so soft.She stiffened at his touch but she did not move away.  His hand lifted and repeated the soft, gentle rub, down the swell of muscle and plating beneath the plush texture of her dark fur.  He even traced some of her stripes.  Her body began to loosen and relax again.  He reached higher, petting as carefully as possible.Now she was leaning down toward him as if unsure of the sensations she was feeling but unable to pull away.  She remained wary, obviously ready to jerk away the instant that the stroking turned unpleasant or intrusive.  His hand brushed her throat and then, just like how the cubs liked, curled his fingers and rubbed harder along the line of her jaw and along her face.  His hand looked so small compared to her.A massive shuddering growl made the very floor vibrate beneath his feet and at first he was ready to jerk back, thinking he had offended her.  Then he saw that her eyes had gone full cat-mode, slitting so severely that the pupils were nothing more than a tiny line underneath all that glowing blue.  Her eyelids had half-drifted closed at just that one touch.  He repeated the motion carefully and the growl came again, and again.  With each scratch, each rub, each caress, her rumbling became louder, stronger, longer.He wasn't sure when he had sat down but her head was all of a sudden shoving itself into his lap.  The weight of it was so much that he felt his legs compress almost flat.  They'd be asleep in moments.  Even so, he didn't stop.  Kenny began to scratch and rub on Nova, as intense and loving as he ever had with the children.  There was a lot to her, and he intended to not only enjoy himself, but to repay her wholly for this complete and utter blessing of trust.Her purring filled the entire hangar bay.  Her paws curled against her belly and chest, her hindlegs clenched tight together and her tentacles had retracted into her shoulders completely.  He rubbed along her ears, across her cheeks, up and down her throat as much as he could reach.  She growled against him, actually nomming and quivering her fluffy jaw against his belly in a rapturous motion, as if barely conscious anymore.  He shifted out from under her.  She quieted in her purring for a second, only to feel his explorative hands try their magic on another part of her, previously out of reach.  She resumed her delighted sprawl, now crooning loudly.He kept his gaze and touch respectful, but even so, there was not one inch of her body other than the intimate areas that he did not rub, touch, scratch, tickle, or otherwise lavish with loving attention.  Her belly especially received a massive amount of rubbing and one of her legs actually twitched rapidly as he found a specifically sensitive spot.  Her tail waved erratically.  The sheer beauty of how much she was enjoying it was better than a thousand sunrises.While rubbing down her huge thighs, shifting his weight to better reach, he slipped, causing one hand to slide higher than he had intended it to.  His fingers touched the crux of one of her thighs, right where it connected with her hips.  A savage, long, drawn-out snarl made him jerk back in alarm and fear a second before a huge paw buffeted him to the side, knocking him prone and away by a good few feet.  That was it, he'd messed up!  He put up his hands to shield himself, frantically murmuring as loudly and emphatically as he could, "Sorry!  I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!  It was just a slip, I swear!"No fangs snapped at him.  Her paws didn't strike him.  He heard heavy, shuddering, growling breath nearby, and yet still he didn't move.  A scent came to him then, something new.  He dared to peek out at her, seeing the huge alien tigress sitting up.  Her chest heaved and her whole body shivered from ears to tail tip.  Then her glowing gaze flashed down toward him, falling like a literal weight.He shrank into a ball, even more, wincing and preparing himself, shutting his eyes tight once more.  If she spaced him right now, he wouldn't have blamed her.  He hated that he couldn't help but notice that, right before he had reacted to where his hand had slid, where on the female Human body equivalent he had just touched.  It was softer and warmer than even the rest of her body had been.Something nudged at him, getting his attention.  His eyes warily peeled open and he looked through his interlocked arms up at her.  Her face was barely half a foot from his.  Her eyes were wide open, staring at him, the pupils long, narrow slits, and her teeth showing.  Her breath was hot, predator thick, and heavy.  Her ears had folded back against her skull and he couldn't help but notice her claws kneaded the plate floor underneath him.  It was the most savage expression he had ever seen her make, worse even than her roar.  Her mouth opened more, flashing her double rows of sharp fangs menacingly.He flinched back, shivering and trying to apologize over and over.  Then he felt his hands being nudged out of the way and something heavy, wet, and hot slapped him in the face.  The texture was rough, like sandpaper, but incredibly fine.  The skin of his cheek and throat felt wet and sticky.  He peeled one eye open again, only for the pressure to return.  It was like being rubbed down by a thick, soaked towel!  Her purr rumbled in his ears, so loud that it overpowered any other sound, closer too than it had ever been.Nova was licking him!Huge paws wound around him and lifted him from his curled-up ball on the floor.  Her tongue licked his face again and again before, finally, it retracted into her jaws again and they snapped closed.  Then came the nuzzles.  Her huge face pushed down against him, rubbing her nose, her cheeks, and even her collarbone against him.  It was like being half-drowned in a shag carpet.That summery scent was everywhere, soaking into his very pores it felt like.  The world dropped away even further as she stood up, turning him around and he heard her jaws open once again, feeling that rush of hot air against his face and throat.  He flinched.  This was it; she was going to eat him!  Her teeth lightly snagged the back of his livesuit and he hung there from her jaws like a kitten.A second later, he plopped down into his pod, landing on his ass.  He blinked, then turned around in alarm to look up at Nova even as the door hissed closed.  She stared at him through the transparent paneling.  Her face was still feral, eyes half-lidded, and her fangs flashing.  Then...she smiled.  It was a smile unlike any he had ever seen in his life.  Not happy but not angry, not threatening nor endearing.  It was hungry.Her paw shook as it lifted to the top of his pod and activated it.  Immediately the vents in the bottom opened, the gel beginning to pool rapidly a second later.  He sat up on his knees, confused, half-scared, and half-lost at what was going on.  "Nova?" he asked as the yellow goo already had reached his knees as he stood up.  He planted his hands against the glass.  "I'm really sorry!  I didn't mean to..."She cut him off.  Her eyes glowed brightly and she smiled even wider.  A single word came to his mind as the gel rose to his chest, immersing him once again in its warm embrace.  "Kenny," she said.  Already, even as startled and scared as he had just been, he was starting to get sleepy.  Her eyes drifted slowly closed and his did as well on reflex.  The gesture was incredibly hypnotic.  He tried his hardest to stay awake as those glowing eyes blazed at him with such warmth, unlike every other time she had ever looked at him.  "Kenny."  He faded into unconsciousness, her glowing eyes the last thing he saw before chemically-induced sleep overtook him.***Nova shakily turned from the pod and clambered slowly up the hall.  Her paws and tentacles did not want to work it seemed as she left the hangar bay and entered her own quarters.  She opened her sleeping cell's doors, climbed in, and sagged against the padded interior.  ‘Dangerous…’ her thoughts growled out, echoing inside her mind.  ‘Dangerous...but good…’She flipped on the display monitors, having to make multiple tries of it as she watched the four dearest beings in the galaxy drift silently in their sleep.  Her other paw tapped on a nearby panel, opening her hidden compartment and extracting a pair of vials.  Almost unable to concentrate on baring the access ports on her throat, she activated the injectors and, after a few frustrating seconds, felt them catch.  A moment later, lethargy and heat entered her veins with a soft hiss as her body's natural pheromones and chemicals were reintroduced into her body in their most powerful and refined form.This was her one vice during these private moments when she was allowed to relax and not worry about the chase.  How grand it was to cut loose and indulge.  Her kind did not know what holding back even meant, but even for her people, she knew she was an addict.  As the stimulants rushed through her blood, bringing on colors and sensations into the dreamscape of her mind, she felt nothing even remotely close to shame.Her world exploded into waves of color as her private quarter's doors hissed shut once more.  It wasn't Kenny's usual night to be in his pod, a practice she had started for her own sake.  She had noticed that on the nights she indulged and he wasn't immersed in the gel that he seemed to sleep poorer.In her defense, she knew even on single-vial nights, she was rather loud.  No living being, not knocked unconscious and drifting in the gel's restorative and rem-cycle inducing embrace, would have gotten any sleep that night.  This was definitely a two-vial-worthy feeling.  The snarls and shuddering growls soon echoed around the entirety of the stealth warship."Kenny..." she laughed, drifting in the euphoria of her reintroduced mating hormones as she rode them to peaks and valleys of happiness and bliss, again and again.  She kept his face firmly in her mind as she danced in her own euphoria.  His fear, his smiles, his tentative nature, his shy but lingering gazes when he thought she wasn’t looking.At first, they had offended her.  Then, they had amused her.  But now…they intrigued her.  So small, so passionate, so scarred and scared.  So convinced of being undeserving, when there was no other being she had ever met quite like him, never one more deserving.This kind of feeling was dangerous.  Very dangerous, not to mention addicting...  Maybe two had been too much...  Or maybe, she just needed someone to share this feeling with.  She looked slowly to the side, seeing the Earthling's face drifting in the gel as he dreamed whatever dreams he willed, free of the heartache that had followed him his entire life.  Her fangs flashed softly as another wave began to crest within her.Very, very dangerous.Another face suddenly appeared in her mind's eye even as she lay there, quivering in the aftershocks.  A similar smile, lightly teasing and with twinkling eyes.  The cocky tilt of his head, the way his mane seemed to ripple and vibrate when he gave her that infuriatingly cocky grin, baring his teeth just like their son did.  She scowled up at him and he let loose a laugh that boomed out across the landscape of her memories.She blinked open her dimly-glowing eyes, feeling the tears hanging there in the corners of them.  What was she doing?  How could she be so…  She turned over onto her side, wrapping her long arms around herself as she huddled into a ball.  The room felt cold all too suddenly.  Empty.  She was afraid of being alone again, all alone.  She shut her eyes tight, trying to hide from that smile even as it turned melancholy and sad.A soft paw brushed her cheek, stroking along her jawline and up to the tips of her spined ears.  Despite herself, she leaned into it; this was the only time she ever allowed her guard to drop, him the only person she allowed to see the facade fall away if only for a moment.  He always knew how to help her, how to bring out the side of her she had tried for so long to deny even existed.But when she opened her eyes, half-dreaming and expecting to see his face, it wasn’t him who was staring back down at her.  Kenny’s soft, gentle, beautifully timid smile gazed at her, utterly terrified and exhilarated to be so close to her.  She blinked and she was staring back up at the darkened roof of her bed chamber.  Alone again.Her eyes flashed over to the display screen showing his pod, as if expecting it to be open.  His touch had felt so real, as if the Earthling really had just been stroking her again.  She tore her gaze away from him, facing the wall and scowling.  Even so, she couldn’t deny the warmth building in her belly, a feeling she had convinced herself would never return the day she had to watch everything she knew and loved be ripped away.She tried to deny it.  She raged against those feelings.  She injected herself again, trying to lose herself in euphoria, to distract herself.  But in the end, it was as inevitable as the gravitational pull of a black hole.  She looked once more at the feed to the Human’s tube.  She could feel his touch on her cheek even then, the Human who had named her.Nova drifted off to sleep, head swimming in a whirlpool of emotions: angry, bitter, confused…but finally not alone.  When she dreamed, she saw her Mate’s face…but his too.  A rumble of approval came, as if from an outside source or spectator to her imaginings.  Had it come from him, or from her?  In the end…did it matter?She would remember this moment of time forever: the moment when, despite all odds, she found herself able to smile again.