Amy

Despite having ostensibly retired to my bedroom in order to get some more sleep, I found myself feeling quite awake as I laid in my bed, holding a hand up in front of my eyes so that I could stare at the delicate appendage. The small, slender fingers, set into a dainty hand, were like nothing I could have even imagined myself sporting back before I’d come here… and yet now, the mere thought of returning to the pudgy sausages I’d once called fingers sent a shiver down my spine - or ‘Amelia’s spine,’ as Clara would put it…

The worst thing was that I couldn’t even argue with her. I’d said it myself, after all - I was nothing more than a squatter in the end. Worse perhaps, in that I had not merely taken up residence in a home that wasn’t my own but also now refused to make way for its proper owner upon her return… and yet, what was I supposed to do? It wasn’t my fault that I’d ended up stuffed inside this body! Nor was it my fault that Amelia’s damn lady brain had altered my way of thinking, to the point where the mere thought of turning back into a man made me want to heave.

Besides, it wasn’t as if I had a way out of this body, even if I wanted that. I still didn’t know what had happened to my old one, or why Amelia was back in this one for that matter, but I was fairly certain that even if I managed to disconnect my soul from its current home I wouldn’t suddenly find myself back on Earth… nor was I sure I’d even want to do that. Not just because the thought of inhabiting a male body now filled me with revulsion, but also because it would mean leaving behind all the people I had met since coming here - and for what? A piss poor life as a writer who couldn’t even stand his own writing half the time? A life with no friends, no family to speak of, and no one who’d even care whether I lived or died or simply disappeared.

How would I even tell everyone I was leaving? How would I explain to Bridgette, why I couldn’t humor her supposed love for me? Firnana… probably wouldn’t care too much honestly, meanwhile, and Clara would obviously be thrilled, but what about Pauline? She’d likely be in danger again, if I allowed Amelia to take charge of her own form again.

…Or not. It was entirely possible that the moment I left, Amelia would simply be scooped up and executed, as she was meant to be before the swap had ever happened. In which case it was arguably in everyone’s best case that I remained. Though I very much doubted Amelia would see it that way… or Clara, for that matter.

I… probably should have tried to discuss all this with the both of them, while I had the chance. At the very least Clara deserved to know that I didn’t want to leave this body behind, after all that she had done for me. It wasn’t like she would have been able to do anything about it, anyway - especially not after Amelia herself told Clara not to bother summoning any more demons. I’d let fear get the better of me, though, clouding my judgement and keeping me from speaking.

Not that there was anything stopping me from telling Clara at that very moment, really - but after the way she’d broken down sobbing, I really didn’t want to disturb her further. Surely it was better to let her have sweet dreams of a wonderful reunion, even if I would likely have to shatter those dreams in the near future.

I wouldn’t hesitate next time. Even if it hurt her. Even if it made her hate me. She deserved to know. Just… after she’d had some time to collect herself and think things through for herself. Preferably she’d be well rested for it, too, but I found it all too likely that the maid would keep herself up puttering about and plotting now that her Mistress had finally returned.

I just hoped she wouldn’t do anything too hasty in pursuit of Amelia’s freedom. Not that she was honestly all that likely to do anything if Amelia truly had told her to stand down, but I couldn’t be a hundred percent certain that Amleia had told me everything about the code word and signal she’d transmitted to Clara. I wasn’t sure how she could have lied about it without me knowing, and I didn’t think she’d left herself any room for verbal trickery in her statements, but at the end of the day I of all people knew better than to underestimate her capacity to scheme. Not to mention the fact that likely knew how her own power worked in far more detail than me…

Still, I held onto the hope that Amelia had been honest with me, and that Clara truly wasn’t plotting anything I’d need to worry about. Not because I thought it likely, but rather because such trust was necessary for us to cooperate. If I assumed they were acting in bad faith from the start, then there was no chance at all of this ending in a way that everyone could live with.

…Though, that said, it perhaps wouldn’t hurt to ask Amelia a few pointed questions, when next I saw her in the dreamscape. Not that I was entirely sure I’d even be able to recall her answers upon waking, but it was better than taking the chance of Clara hearing me if I spoke aloud. She might think I didn’t trust her, if she did - when, really, it was Amelia who I was most worried about.

Though… that said… hadn’t I just been thinking to myself about the perils of distrust, and the inherent issue of not telling Clara how I felt? 

I couldn’t exactly go march up to Clara right now and demand a conversation, though, could I? Not when she was likely still getting her own thoughts and emotions in order.

Perhaps it was best if I waited until we were all awake to have the conversation, then? Or would it be fine to have a bit of prior discussion with Amelia when it was just the two of us, and loop Clara into it after the fact? Unless that ended up making Clara annoyed and distrustful in and of itself, since it could arguably be read as me having cornered Amelia in order to force answers out of her while Clara wasn’t present…

“Ugh…” I squeezed my eyes shut, and did my best to dispel all the thoughts plaguing me, filling my head with the image of cute bunnies instead - which worked for maybe a second or two before triggering the sudden realization that I still had bunny ears atop my head. With everything going on, I hadn’t actually given them much thought at all, but now that I was laying down and actively doing my best to not panic about Clara or Amelia or Firanna and the Queen I realized that I could still feel them up there.

More or less? In truth, the sensation they gave off was actually rather muted, which was the largest reason I’d forgotten they were there. They felt solid enough when I reached up to touch them, and I could feel them twitching about a little when I actually focused upon them, but it wasn’t as if I could actually hear from them or anything. Combined with their ability to phase through things, and I’d more or less tuned them out at some point - along with the tail, which must have been phasing through the bed since I didn’t feel any uncomfortable bumps above my behind.

Hopefully they’d be gone in the morning, and I wouldn’t be forced to attend classes with them… Though, now that I thought about it, they were meant to be a punishment, weren’t they?

Would May truly think it a punishment to give me rabbit features that disappeared within the day? It would be one thing if she’d known the Queen would be waiting for me, so as far as she was concerned I was planning to go home without interacting with anyone besides her, Pauline, and the women I lived with. If it was a harmless prank, that would certainly be enough, but for what was meant to be a punishment…

“Great,” I muttered to myself. “Another thing to worry about…”

I hoped with all my heart that sleep would soon come to claim me - because if it didn’t, and my brain kept coming up with new things to worry about… Well, let’s just say that falling asleep on my desk, blissfully unaware of all the people staring at my bunny ears, was… Well, actually, maybe that last bit wouldn’t be the worst way to spend the day? If I had to have bunny ears, anyway…

Either way, all I could really do was close my eyes and try my best to keep them shut until sleep claimed me.

That, and hold onto the vague hope that Clara was enjoying a much less distressed end to her day.

***

Clara

***

I sat in bed, unsure of what to do with myself. It was unusual for me to go to bed so soon after dinner, but that had been my Lady’s order. Citing concern for my mental well-being, she had insisted that I take the rest of the night off, refusing to listen to reason. Even though the dishes hadn’t even been cleared off from the table, let alone cleaned. Even though the dining room still needed to be swept and mopped, and tomorrow’s breakfast still needed to be planned out, she’d insisted that all such things could wait until the morrow. That I wasn’t allowed to do any more work that night. I doubt it even occurred to her that I would have to wake up even earlier than usual thanks to her, since I would be forced to cook and clean everything before I could make breakfast. 

…Though, to be fair, I hadn’t exactly made things easier for myself in that regard. I was the one who insisted that my Lady not try and clean on my behalf, claiming that I didn’t want her to expose Lady Amelia’s hands to such menial labor. I even went so far as to ask if she had any knowledge of where the cleaning supplies were or even how to use them, implying that I thought the work beyond her and all but forcing her to bed before she could even think to suggest using her tentacles for the work instead.

I hadn’t lied. She’d have known if I had. Yet, as always, my Lady was far too willing to accept surface level truths, never digging for what might lay behind the pretty words. It was for the best, really - otherwise, she might have figured out that there was another reason I didn’t want her to do anything for me: I didn’t want any more of her so-called ‘good will.’

She didn’t care about me, or my needs. Not truly. If she did, she would have at least tried to discuss the obvious issues that lay before us. It was obvious that we wanted different things. I clearly and dearly desired Lady Amelia’s return, while my current Lady seemingly had no desire whatsoever to go back to her life, or even vacate the body that she was in. Not that she really had a way of doing either, of course - no more than I had a way to remove her, or otherwise make room for Lady Amelia - but the fact that she hadn’t even tried to bring the matter up was telling.

She was afraid that I would turn against her, and no doubt absolutely certain that I would betray her in an instant if it suited Lady Amelia in any way. Perhaps she even feared I would cease to listen to her, or start demanding accommodations for Lady Amelia before providing any services.

She wasn’t really wrong to think any of that, I suppose. I would do anything and everything that Lady Amelia asked for me. But so long as it did not cause Lady Amelia harm, I did not mind serving my current Lady for a little while longer. Indeed, there had even been a fleeting moment where I’d worried about my temporary employer’s fate. Where I wondered if, perhaps, there was a way for us all to get what we wanted… 

Now I wasn’t sure why I’d bothered. My Lady - no, Amy - saw my true mistress as an obstacle. A danger to Pauline, and to the life she had built for herself within Lady Amelia’s form. There was no world in which she would actually care for me, someone who lived only for the sake of LadyAmelia’s happiness.

There was no possible future in which we simply got along, no world in which we all became friends and lived happily ever after. No world in which Lady Amelia was free and happy, which didn’t involve removing Amy entirely.  

Now that such delusions were gone from my head, I was free to plan appropriately. I would keep up the facade of loyalty, and continue to serve ‘my Lady’ until such time as a way forward presented itself. I would take care not to let myself be fooled, and to always remember that at day’s end this was only temporary. As it always had been. I didn’t know what had come over me, to let myself forget that even for a second. It wouldn’t happen again.

I felt as if I finally understood everything - my goals, my station, and the way that Amy truly saw me. Everything, that is, except for one nagging little detail I just couldn’t seem to figure out.

When Lady Amelia had touched my thigh with one of Amy’s tentacles, as if trying to impart comfort upon me, she had merely touched down gently upon my skin before pulling back again. She didn’t tap twice, squeeze or linger a precise number of seconds or do anything else that might be interpreted as part of a broader pattern. There was no code that I could figure out. Which, of course, left me with a rather urgent question: what in the world had that touch been about!?

~~~Author's Notes

You're probably all used to hearing this by now, but this is yet another chapter that managed to get away from me. I initially intended to dive into the dreamscape from the start, but then I was talking to my friend Muffin and she pointed out the stupidity of Amy not just being upfront with Clara and a whole storyline to do with this sprouted and grew within me and now here we are, without even having time to get to the dreamscape!

Oh well... Maybe next time? I'm sure it'll all work out for the best... Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed~1

Next up is probably going to be Hatching a Heroine, but I'm almost definitely taking tomorrow off (a headmate wants the front and doesn't personally wanna write anything) so... Weds with luck?

After that either Double Trouble or MOV, depending on how long things take me.