I Am NOT a Catgirl! Ch. 1: The Betrayal (Patreon)

The next time I opened my eyes, I froze. Something was wrong.

Beyond the giant, detailed houses that looked like antiques straight out of Gone With the Wind, I wasn’t myself anymore. I sensed two independent sensations on my head, and a new…extension? on my back. When I reached behind me, past a ton of black fabric and a white bow, my fingers touched a tail.

No.

A long, soft, fluffy tail.

No! Damn it!

I lifted both hands to my head and found a pair of ears turning to track sounds on either side of me. Bird chirps here. A bell ringing there. I traced my fingers upward, reaching both fluffy points, then dropped my arms with a groan.

Leiana had totally fucked me.

I wasn’t supposed to be a catgirl. I was supposed to be in a world full of catgirls and still be a man. I’d asked for a damn reason. I was this close to having my own harem, and she’d lied.

Maybe this was my punishment. No goddess would really believe I’d died to a “metal beast.” I’d made an ass of myself to try to impress Briana, and I was rewarded accordingly. It was too easy to picture Leiana laughing away with her bosses on high, watching this play out on their freaky holograms.

Suck it up, Kelmer. Get your bearings.

I rubbed my face—…which didn’t feel like my face at all. No more five o’clock shadow. My cheekbones were a little bit higher, and my jaw was a lot softer. I glanced down and was met with a protruding chest.

I poked the side of one boob. Yeah, definitely mine. I poked both at the same time. Alright, that part wasn’t so bad.

“U-um, excuse me? Are you lost?” a delicate voice behind me asked.

My shoulders tensed, and I whipped around to face it. A catgirl with violet hair bowed deeply. She wore a black and white maid outfit, a lot like I’d seen in anime before, and when she straightened, she was a few inches shorter than me. Brilliant blue eyes blinked up at me, and she smiled.

“I’m Lynn. Are you new here?”

“I-I…” My voice was so hoarse—like I’d never used it before. Well, really, I guess I hadn’t. “I am. Sorry.” Jesus Christ. My voice is so much higher. I really am a catgirl.

She nodded. “Venicia is a large city. It’s easy to get lost.” Folding her hands over her apron, she studied me for a few moments, then brightened. “You wear the uniform of Sorentina! Are you looking for the School of Etiquette, perchance?”

The what? I licked my lips and glanced down. Like Lynn, I also donned a maid uniform, but mine had more embellishments around the apron and the hem—

I’m in a fucking maid uniform! Heat rushed to my face, and I crossed my legs without thinking. The stockings on my legs rubbed uncomfortably, and I wanted to scream. I was wearing a dress. And thigh highs. That bow near my tail was from my apron. I’d never, ever put on a goddamned dress. Not for anyone or anything.

“Are you okay?” Lynn tilted her chin, and her ears lowered.

“Y-yeah. Great. I’m great.” I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. ‘I’m a man in a catgirl’s body, Lynn.’ Yeah, I’m sure that would go over just fine.

“Ah, alright. Yes. First, um, do you have a name?”

“Ma—” I stopped. ‘Matt’ wasn’t a girl’s name. Not in a fantasy world or otherwise. “Madeline.” I don’t know where I pulled it out from. Didn’t matter, Lynn smiled and nodded. It seemed my answer satisfied her.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Madeline.”

“Sure. Likewise.” I scratched the back of my neck. Holy shit, why was my hair so long? My skin was already damp with sweat from my new hair and thick uniform. How did girls deal with this? “Er, Lynn, do you think you could give me a little tour of Vernachia?”

Lynn winced. “V-Venicia. And yes, it would be my pleasure.”

Oops. Venicia. Ven-ee-cee-ah. I committed it to memory. “Thanks.”

“It’s a tiring journey to Sorentina, so a slight slip of the tongue is understandable.” She smiled and turned, gesturing over her shoulder. “This way, Madeline.”

Bless you, Lynn. Getting used to a new name was going to be difficult. But… ‘getting used to it’ would mean… Is this actually permanent? Where were the cameras? What about Leiana jumping out to tell me that, whoops, she really had screwed up, and she’d fix it right away?

My heart hammered against my chest, and a blend of rage and frustration built in my throat. I clenched my hands, and my longer-than-usual fingernails dug into my palms. Was there anyone in this world who could help me?

“Madeline?” Lynn was already ten steps ahead of me.

Deep breaths, man. Just one step at a time. “Coming.” I moved to catch up, and the heels of my flats tapped against the cobblestone. I was suddenly very aware of two short straps over my thighs, beginning at the tops of my stockings and ending at…a garter belt?

This nightmare was getting better by the second.

“Have you traveled much around Shi Island?” Lynn asked when I finally fell into step with her.

I chewed on her question. Shi Island was here, right? “No. Just, um, Soren…Soren—”

“Sorentina.” She giggled. Now that I was closer, I could see freckles along her nose and cheeks. She was adorable. “You don’t have to be nervous around me. I’m only here to help.”

“Of course. Thanks.” I crossed my arms. Well, I tried to cross my arms. It was awkward as hell with the new lumps on my chest. “I-I grew up there. Thought it was time to, uh,” Lynn mentioned a school? “get a proper education.”

“That’s wonderful! I’m certain Madame Celestia will love to hear that.”

“Is she one of the teachers?”

Lynn’s mouth opened in a tiny ‘O.’ “Hm. I thought everyone knew who she was. She’s the Headmistress of the Venicia School of Etiquette.”

…Had she said the word ‘Etiquette’ before? I was too afraid to ask what that meant. I already blew it big time on city names. “I’m sure someone told me, and I just forgot. I-I have a terrible memory.”

“Oh, goodness, me too. My sister, Ara, has a mind like a blade. She always has to help me out.” Lynn’s warm smile returned. “Speaking of, I’m being a horrible tour guide! So, over here, we have Felsi’s Ice Cream Shop, where we all like to go on our day off. Down the road is Notch’s should you need to have your uniform fixed or another one created. Wait, hm…” She paused and glanced around my waist.

What is it now?

“I don’t see your [Cat Pack]. Do you strap it to your leg?” She poked my skirt. “I heard some girls outside of Venicia have found that having a thigh-strap keeps it out of the way.”

It was too much information all at once. I did my best to summon my high school reading comprehension lessons and tear through the context clues. “My, er, [Cat Pack] was stolen on the way here. I couldn’t get it back.”

Lynn gasped, covering her mouth with one hand. “Oh, no, Madeline! That’s so awful! Saoirse bless you for your patience. Here I am, wandering around Venicia like all is well while you lost something so precious! I’m so sorry!”

[Cat Pack]s are precious. Noted. Saoirse…is whom? “It’s okay, really. I’m sure there’s somewhere I can get a new one, right?”

“Let’s ask Madame Celestia. I know that in Sorentina, they’re more readily available, but we will see!” Lynn snaked her arm through mine and locked elbows with me. She was very warm. Which would have been nice if I wasn’t already overheating from everything else. “You’re so brave. I would be inconsolable if I lost my [Cat Pack].”

Careful. Calling me brave seems to end badly. “It’s fine. I didn’t pack much.” At least that part wasn’t a lie.

“Well, then, we’ll just have to get you a place in the school! We take very good care of our own. You’ll see!” Lynn gently tugged me forward. “Let’s do that first, and then I can show you around as much as you’d like!”

“Alright.” I followed Lynn’s lead, and we strolled down the spotless cobblestone.

Now that the initial shock had worn off, I started to realize just how unreal Venicia seemed. No cars or billboards. Nothing electronic as far as I could see. Only hand-painted shop signs and window decorations. Cloth awnings shaded the wooden tables and stools resting beneath. And there were hundreds of flowers, bushes, and more carefully shaped hedges along the paths and walkways than there were in The Burbs. But…it was so empty. No one was outside the cafes or stirring inside the stores. No one else walked ahead of or behind us.

“It’s so quiet,” I murmured.

“It’s a study day,” Lynn replied.

I chewed my lower lip. Everyone in the town was studying?

“Ah, here we are!” Lynn stopped and turned toward an enormous pair of wrought iron gates.

I’d been so preoccupied by the silence that I hadn’t noticed the gargantuan structure behind the gates. It was built like a Victorian college, with multiple stories and buildings. More plants and hedges flanked the pathway to the double-door entrance. Lynn freed her arm from mine and gingerly nudged the gate open. My ears flicked to the opposite sides of my head. The birds had stopped singing.

Maybe they’re studying, too.

Lynn led me between the hedges and up the three steps to the doors. She stopped, looked down, and smoothed out her skirts. While it didn’t feel natural at all, I tried to do the same. My fingers were a lot more slender, and my hands were much smaller than before. But dwelling on Leiana’s betrayal wasn’t getting me anywhere. When in Rome…

She smiled up at me again, then wrapped her hand around the carved handle and pushed it open.

Unlike the empty streets and silent shops, the first room inside the school was bustling with catgirls. Maids with pink, blue, yellow, and brown hair rushed from place to place. Some dusted the life-size paintings and trinket-stacked shelves. One was rearranging books on a short bookshelf. A few more carried books beneath their arms and disappeared down the multiple hallways branching off from the room.

They were lithe and gorgeous. Every single one. I caught peeks of straps on stockings and a tiny glimpse of panties from the girl at the bookshelf. Cat ears, cat tails, maid uniforms, the whole package.

And I’m one of them. Fuck you, Leiana.

I’m not proud to say I wanted to punch a wall right there.

“The headmistress’s office is this way, Madeline.” Lynn held out her arm and gestured to my left.

“After you, Lynn.”

Lynn hummed a happy affirmative and marched on. We weaved our way through a few more catgirls who shot me wary glances—a little competitive, are we?—and stopped at another thick, wooden door. This one had a nameplate on it. Headmistress Celestia. Lynn raised her hand and knocked.

A catgirl with short blonde hair and the same-colored eyes as Lynn cracked the door open. “Lynn? What are you doing here?”

“Hello! So, I was, um, out walking—”

“You know it’s a study day.”

“I know, Ara. You can scold me later.”

This is her sister?

“Anyway,” Lynn continued, “I was out walking, and I met Madeline! She came all the way from Sorentina.”

“It’s a pleasure. What can I do for you?” Ara narrowed her eyes and turned them toward me.

So cold! “I’d like to study here. At the school.”

“Why?”

I wanted to writhe and vanish under that hardass gaze. That was the look the manager gave me when I said I needed a Saturday night off. I could feel the sweat building on my forehead. “S-Sorentina doesn’t really have anything like this.” Think, Matt. Be smooth. “I, uh, think every maid should have proper etiquette training?” Fuck it. Good enough.

Ara studied me from head to toe. I did my best to hold completely still until she sighed and swung the door wide. “As you wish. You may request admission from Madame Celestia.”

“Oh, thank you, Ara! I knew we could count on you!” Lynn clapped her hands to her chest.

Ara rolled her eyes. “I’m doing this as a favor to you, I hope you know.”

Lynn beamed. “I know! Thank you!” She turned to me and tugged my sleeve. “Good luck, Madeline! I hope to see you soon!”

“Yeah. Me too.”

I watched Lynn until she skipped out of the double doors.

“She really should be in class.” Ara sighed. “Anyway, this way, please, Madeline.”

I stepped into the office, and Ara closed the door behind me.

On to the first boss.