I Am NOT a Catgirl! Ch. 2: The Boy (Patreon)

Headmistress Celestia was a tall, straight-backed woman who carried the imposing, threatening air of a kaiju. Her dark hair wound into tight braids over her shoulders, and there wasn’t a single strand out of place. Her glasses glinted in the lamplight when we entered her office, and she frowned at me.

Get in the robot, Matt.

“Madame Celestia, this is Madeline of Sorentina.” Ara bowed and gestured to me.

I quickly followed her lead and bowed beside her.

Celestia’s frown deepened. “Sloppy,” she murmured.

I swallowed my first response as I straightened. “That’s why I’m here, madame.” I forced the word out. Reminded me a lot of my dad’s “Ma’am” and “Sir” overuse. “I wasn’t given a very good education.”

“Clearly.” She rounded her enormous, polished desk and took my chin between two fingers. Her skin was as cold as the black eyes behind her glasses. “Sorentina prides itself on its [Magic Knight]s. Is that your ambition, Madeline?”

I hesitated. Was that a class? Did this world really have game mechanics like Leiana said? I’d figured it was just another lie. “If the option is there, maybe. I don’t know.”

“I do not admit students with little motivation or aspiration,” she snapped.

“Madame Celestia, if I may?” Ara asked, still in her perfect bow.

“Yes, Ara?”

“Thank you.” Ara rose and squared her shoulders, resting her hands over her apron. “If memory serves, I believe we spoke of admitting Sorentina catgirls to help spread Venicia’s methods. If I may be so bold to say, you yourself suggested that they were the most in need of immediate improvement.”

I worked not to gape at Ara. Why was she helping me? I stopped my head from turning in her direction and watched Celestia’s face. Her frown twisted into a scowl, and she took a deep breath.

“You are correct. I did suggest housing more Sorentina girls.”

“I believe Madeline would be a perfect beginning. It is clear that she has a long way to go,” Ara continued. Jeez. Thanks. “But if she returns home as a jewel of Venicia, would that not persuade more catgirls to consider our cause?”

Celestia worked her jaw, and her thin lips somehow got thinner. “That is indeed a fine way of thinking. You are certainly flourishing beneath my wing, Ara.” She looked at me, and her expression softened by a few centimeters. “Very well, then. Madeline of Sorentina, I approve of your admission to Venicia’s School of Etiquette.”

I sighed in relief. It’s not that I was stoked to be admitted to a maid school, but having somewhere to sleep that night was a good start. “Thank you, Madame Celestia. Ara.” I bowed to each of them. “So, when do I start?”

“Immediately. Please excuse us, Ara.” Celestia picked up a leather-bound tome from her desk and flipped through it. Just as Ara left the room, Celestia lifted a quill and penned a few lines into the book. “Service. Grace. Urgency. Do you understand these terms, Madeline?”

I wrinkled my nose. “I, er, know what they mean…?”

Celestia gently returned the book to the desk, and honestly, it made me just as uneasy as if she’d slammed the damn thing back down. “These three words are our way of life. You will memorize them, breathe them, and internalize them.” She rested the quill in its holder and turned her scary gaze back to me.

“Okay.” I shifted the weight to my other foot. Service. Grace. Urgency.

“You will provide service to those in need. This should be a familiar concept to you, as all of Shi Island follows its creed.”

Guess that comes with the maid territory. “Yeah. Of course.”

“Yes.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Do not use ‘Yeah.’ Say ‘Yes,’ Madeline.”

I felt my cheeks burn. “Yes, Madame Celestia.”

 “In the Venicia School of Etiquette, you will learn how to properly service your charges, and perform your duties with a grace and urgency unseen in any other Shi Island cities.” She adjusted her glasses and exhaled through her nose. “Sorentina, I find, lacks in all three departments due to the brutish nature of [Magic Knight] training.”

I felt like I should be offended, but it’s not like I’d ever seen Sorentina to give an opinion. “I see—”

“Do not speak unless invited to,” she snapped.

I rolled my tongue around in my mouth. Dad had threatened me with basic training more times than I could count. Once or twice, I’d considered it. But now I was glad I’d never gone. This was hell.

She narrowed her eyes. “Your ears are drooping. You must control your emotions, Madeline.”

Like I’ve ever had cat ears to control before. I willed them to perk back up. It seemed to work well enough.

“Good. Now, repeat after me. Service. Grace. Urgency.”

“Service. Grace. Urgency.”

“Commit these terms to heart. You will learn more during your studies. Come.” She strode to the door, and her steps made it look like she was gliding. As I followed behind her, she watched me like an owl watches a mouse.

Celestia hummed, and I tried to ignore it. She was going to disapprove of everything I did, wasn’t she?

When we reached the main entrance hall again, every girl in the room stopped and bowed to the headmistress. She replied with a brief nod before turning back to me. “I will draft a schedule of your classes after our tour, and you will begin first thing in the morning.” She pointed down three hallways and up to the second floor. “Classrooms can be found down these corridors and on the second floor of the school. You will receive a map of the school with your list of classes. Questions?”

“Yea— Yes. Please. What time do I start?”

She blinked, and a tiny smile quirked the corner of her mouth. “With the sunrise, of course.”

My shoulders deflated. Damn it.

“Your ears are drooping, Madeline.”

Damn it! I perked them back up. I could feel my tail whipping back and forth between my ankles. Forget the wall, I wanted to punch Celestia instead.

“Any other questions?”

“No, madame.”

“Very good. This way, please.” She continued toward the back of the main hallway and stopped before a wall hung with various painted landscapes. “This is where the dormitories are.”

I looked from side to side. There wasn’t a door. Hell, there wasn’t a window. “But this—”

“Did I invite you to speak?” That little smile grew larger. She was toying with me.

I chewed my tongue. “No, madame.”

“It is Enchanted for the safety and the well-being of Shi Island’s man.”

My eyes went wide. “There’s a—?”

She glowered down at me, and I feared lasers shooting from her eyes. A cold chill ran down my spine, and I dropped my gaze.

“This way.” Celestia walked through the wall.

I looked up and blinked. This place was insane. I sucked in a breath and stepped forward.

I found myself standing beside her in a different hallway. This one had similarly colored doors to the other corridors, but there were numbers painted in careful script near their frames, and only a few catgirls wandered to and from their dormitories.

“You will room with Augustine,” Celestia said as we started down the hall. “She is a newer student like you, but has taken very well to our teachings. I believe she will be an excellent influence and guide in your time here.”

I stayed silent. I couldn’t do that glare again.

“There are certain rules you will follow. Breaking them will see you punished. Further unruly behavior will see your expulsion. First, curfew is ten o’clock each night. The doors are Enchanted to lock automatically. If you are found outside your room past ten, it will be a strike against your name.

“Second, you will be allotted one day of rest in your school week. Unless requested by a teacher, who will give you the necessary paperwork to do so, you will not leave school grounds at any other time.”

This is a prison.

“Third, you are not to speak to, impose on, or attempt to gain Master Tristan’s attention without my permission. There is no one else within these walls who can grant this to you. Do I make myself clear?”

Tristan, huh? “Yes, madame.”

“Very good. Perhaps you are not so hopeless after all,” Celestia replied. I forced my ears to stay pointed up. “Here is your room.” She stopped in front of a door with the number 201 painted beside it. She knocked twice.

A voice immediately called, “Yes, come in!”

When Celestia opened the door and stepped into the room, a petite catgirl with white hair tied back into a bun and pink eyes shot up from reading a book on her bed and bowed deeply. “Madame Celestia! To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Good morning, Augustine. I would like to introduce you to your new roommate, Madeline.” Celestia moved aside, and I shuffled forward. “Your test scores are excellent, and your teachers speak highly of you. I trust that you will assist our newest student in her studies?”

“I would be honored, madame!” Augustine rose and smiled. Her fluffy white tail swished back and forth behind her, but her ears stayed perfectly still. “I fear that I am not yet worthy of your compliments.”

I tried very, very hard not to roll my eyes. Honestly, I did. I don’t think either of them caught it, which I was grateful for.

“I am sure there will be many more.” Celestia touched the top of Augustine’s head, then looked at me. “Ara will deliver your schedule in a few hours. I suggest taking this opportunity to learn more about Augustine and your new life at the school, Madeline.”

“Yes, madame.” I felt like a broken record. I bowed anyway.

“Enjoy your afternoon classes, Augustine.” With one last nod, Celestia left the room.

We were still bowing when the door closed. Some part of me was terrified that Celestia would come bursting back in like the Kool-Aid man to check if we were up to no good. She had a presence about her that chilled me to the bone. At last, we both returned to standing.

“It is lovely to meet you, Madeline!” Augustine brushed her hands over her skirts and smiled. “You can call me Augie.”

“Thanks, Augie.” I took a look around the room. It was…sparse. The word “barracks” sounded about right. Two small beds, two matching nightstands, two lamps, and two short dressers at the ends of the beds. There were maybe three steps between each bed.

I suddenly realized how good Augie smelled.

No. Stop that, Kelmer. Now’s not the time. But damn if she isn’t adorable. And I’ll be sleeping right next to her—

“Madeline? Are you alright? Your face is very red.” She tipped her head to the side, and then she gasped. “Oh! Are you thirsty? I can show you to the kitchens!”

Ha. Thirsty. “That would be great.”

She took my hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry! We’ll get you feeling better in no time!”

I could feel the blush extend down my neck. This was not going to be easy.

We left the room and moved deeper down the hall.

“There is a larger dining hall and kitchen on the other side of the school, but we have a smaller one in the dormitory for lunches and snacks,” Augie explained. “You’re free to use it whenever you need, just refrain from eating anything with someone else’s name on it. No matter how yummy it looks.”

Oh? Augie has a mischievous side? “Understood.”

She giggled. “You can speak more freely with me than Madame Celestia. I won’t bite.”

“That’s a relief.”

“—saw was San Francisco. That’s where I came from.” A guy’s voice echoed further down the hallway.

I froze. San Francisco? I let go of Augie’s hand and rushed toward the sound.

“Was it like Venicia?” a girl asked.

“No, it’s much different than here. A lot more lights and very tall, rectangular buildings.”

“It must be filled with magic for all of the lights!”

I skidded to a stop when I found another maid standing beside a thin young dude with blond hair. My jaw dropped. This kid had to be younger than me, and I’d barely turned twenty.

He laughed easily at the catgirl’s comment and touched her shoulder. “There’s not nearly as much magic as we have here.”

“Tristan?” I asked before I could stop myself.

He looked at me and his brow knit. “Sorry, can I help you?”

“San Francisco! The Golden Gate Bridge! You’re from Earth!” The words came pouring out. A guy I could talk to. A guy who would get me. Maybe he knew someone who could get me the hell out of this body.

“Wow! You know a lot about Earth! Was your father from there?” Tristan asked.

“Not my father. Wait. Yes, he was. But I’m—”

“Madeline! What are you doing?” Augie squealed and snatched my hand. “M-Master Tristan, p-please forgive us. Madeline is new and lost her way—”

“No. Hang on. I need to talk to him!” I tried to tear my hand out of Augie’s, but she held firm.

“I’m sorry, you’ll both have to excuse me. I can’t cut Julia’s time short.” He smiled at the girl at his side. “Let’s get going.”

She blushed and nodded. I moved to follow them.

Augie dug her heels into the carpet and hissed, “Madeline. Stop.” Damn it! I was losing my chance. “Listen to me!”

The panic in her voice caught me off guard, and I did as she asked.

“I understand that you are excited to meet Master Tristan. We all are. But if Madame Celestia finds out about this, you will be immediately expelled. There are no other punishments for wasting his time.” Augie shook her head. “Please. Trust me on this.”

My tail twitched with agitation, and I felt my blood coming to a boil. This was ridiculous. “Are you going to tell Celestia?”

“No. Just…do not attempt to catch his attention again.” Her voice softened. “Please?”

I sighed. “Alright.” I made a mental note. Next time, Augie wouldn’t be with me.

“Madeline?”

“Hm?”

“Your ears are drooping.”