11th Hour, (trigger warning) alcoholism (Patreon)

Dearest Demons,

ROAAARRR! Sorry this is a little late!

I had SO much fun doing this cover. 

Growling is good for the soul.

Thank you so much to John who requested this, it's one of my favourite songs of all time.

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I first discovered Lamb of God when I was just 17 years old, on a Rock Sound compilation CD and this song blew my mind. 

I'd never really heard much metal music before, especially where you could actually hear the words. 

Hilariously I persuaded my parents to buy me the CD as I told them it was Christian Band! 🤭

The guitar lines were incredible and I quickly took it to my guitar teacher who tabbed it out for me and I spent hours learning how to shred.

When I moved to Brighton I was lucky enough to catch them play an intimate gig at Concorde2. 

I can barely remember the show. 

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As some of you know my relationship with alcohol was something I've struggled with over the years. As I type this now I am entering my 4th year without it, and it is still one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I went through some pretty traumatic experiences during my teens, including bullying, sexual assault and long bouts of manic depression. The alcohol provided me medicine to numb the pain and give me confidence to meet people, get on stage and ultimately help me cope with a deep sense of self-hatred.

By 2017, my drinking had caused me to destroy friendships, lose career opportunities and put me in some very dangerous situations. I didn't know who I was anymore, and I just wanted to die. My self-esteem was rock bottom and every day just seemed like an eternity waiting to end so I could drink myself asleep.

Getting sober was a long and sometimes painful process, peeling back the layers and looking at myself as I was, with all the mistakes I'd made and trying to love who was under there. 

I began to go to therapy groups, work on myself and of course, making music was a huge outlet for all the inner turmoil. 

I was also finally diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder and put on medication for which I am incredibly grateful. I am hear right now because of that doctor, and my amazing friends.

I wrote Box of Razorblades and a lot of the album THE WORLD CONSPIRES during this time. It's a hard album for me to listen to, and to play as it's a sore reminder of where I was.

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Doing this cover was special for me because I had no idea that Randy Blythe was an alcoholic and this song was about being in the throes of addiction and despair.

Coming back to it now, sober and the happiest I've ever been is a gooooood feeling.

I want to thank you all for being part of that support network I am so lucky to have.

If any of you have struggled or are struggling then you are not alone.

Enjoy the cover. Head-banging is optional.

Love & Feathers,

Mishkin

DOWNLOAD SONG 

PS - I have a lot of news to tell you. Prepare yourselves for an epic blog over the next few days. If you're not on the discord group yet, it might be a good time to join :)