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was going through old videos (Patreon)

Published:
2024-11-24 11:37:48
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

young tyongeee was passionate

am I still passionate and hopeful? or can I still have hope?

always thinking and reflecting.. :(:

Files

Previews only

2024 11 24 20 20 20

Comments

H2O

Don't have the privilege of hours of video of myself (This is written like I could've said it in a mad way but I'm not mad or jealous I'm writing during the middle of the day waiting for clothes to finish washing and I'm chill. I'm not really sure how I'm going to respond going further). In hindsight, I should've even if there was nothing. The whole world has changed. When I got out of the military I just took in so much news and education about the world that i was excluded from that I felt I lost not just time but sort of like I missed a chance to have another version of myself in this universe. In my late 20's to early 30's was not growing up like I should. Thinking about it too much on how all these other things that set me back years in having good times with friends and just doing all kinds of crazy shit it sort gave me a feeling like I was owed that. Some of the big moments that made me pause were deaths in the family. I saw some of cousin's family lose their parents. Their passing was difficult for so many reasons, mainly money. If I think about my parents i do start to sort of panic. I can never be ready. I should be ready for whatever happens. Its those times that I know I can't have them rescue me no matter what happens. I feel a sense of urgency now to be more than just ready. To be like a person that brings comfort for when bad times happen. I bet you know at least more now than before. Less naïve maybe. You got to. If you haven't and you're still stuck with the same mind you had ten years ago, man idk its like you experienced things without experiencing them. Uhhh like how long you going to keep that 3cm joke? well if the stats say that what the people want I guess I'm too old

H2O
>>156299250

So you know what I'm trying to say tho. Time will change you despite you trying keep everything the same. Same food everyday. Restaurant you usually go to has a hobo standing in front of the entrance. As for relationships. I'm not sure. I'd like to believe that if you do fall in love with someone that it could stay like that till death. I'd like to ask some old folk that live nearby if thats true. Ask them - "You still married to her because you want to or do you feel like cutting the chains off?" I think about recent one where even though she hired people to put me into a car accident. Half of my mind was so oddly drawn to her. In simple terms what I can say is the danger turned me on. My rational other half was saying this b!&(& is crazy! There was another part I guess I got to admit is thinking just the vast amount of money I would or could maybe make. The way she operated she was just bound to mess it all up. We would made a good fit if it were not for me just not being able to accept some her life. It was just good I stopped. A future without worries is better. Rational thinking wasn't saving me fast enough. In a conversion I said something like well now I have whether my food is poisoned everytime now. We both paused. If you have to be with someone and not be able to trust them there's no point. Another thing about that waifu thing. While I was walking the dog this past summer I realized when you and Jinny said in a podcast. Its like waifu streamers are babysitting adults. I think in way it keeps them from actually trying outside and talking to girls. At TwitchCon for example. There LOTS of girls just hanging out at the tables at top floor waiting or just doing nothing. It was so easy to talk to them. I had to go back down to get something I left. Looking down the escalator I just thought all these guys are probably just focused on the streamers when they had plenty of good chances to start a relationship upstairs. Its not that you are not funny its try to come up with something new. I brought the 3cm line because it probably gets guys to change channel. It would surprise if your audience was mostly women. To maybe help with understanding. Let's say a comedian came up on stage and his jokes were all about how much he loves big breasts with huge peperoni-shaped nips. Understandably most women I feel would find listening to that being uncomfortable. This is not a diss. I think you are cute and funny. Thats why I trust you with my deepest darkest secrets. ☝️