[CYA] Chapter 174: Self Care (Patreon)

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SfDs3TRbCLMldS5p8XsVOy8-oRaR0L66L_2Dsp4eyhc/edit?usp=sharing

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<Alex, Real - Venomous Invaders, Space Station>

Alex lay on his back as his vision swam.

Twenty.

There had been twenty survivors, and they were all now cleared of tainting life magic and in Bev’s capable hands.

Kaylee had communicated with the planet and medical workers were being gathered to send up and take over ongoing care.

It shouldn’t be too long for the crew to recover, and they still didn’t know what had gone wrong to allow for such a breach, but that was outside the scope of the mission.

Speaking of which, Alex tried to focus on the notification that swam before him.

Quest Status:Survivors Recovered 20/30Venomous Stings 72,782/72,782Dreadweaver Variants Slain 170k/170kQueens Slain 200/200Egg Sacs 23/23

He wasn’t sure what had happened to the other ten potential survivors, but they’d found no trace of them. It might be referring to some of the egg sacs, meaning that faster action might have saved up to ten more people, but he decided that he really couldn’t have been much faster.

Alex was also glad that he’d gotten the experience both from the mission and from the, frankly, insane number of kills.

You killedDreadweaver Variants x 170kDreadweaver Queens (Uncommon), level 10 x 3

Assets Destroyed, Assist:Egg Sacs (Uncommon) x 23

Reward:Experience increased due to level disparity.Experience heavily reduced due to swarm type creatures.Experience heavily reduced due to manifestation type creatures.Experience heavily reduced due to rarity disparity.

The first two experience reduction reasons made enough sense that he wasn’t really upset, and the final one actually made him quite happy.

It meant that his legendary class had, indeed, been the recipient of the experience.

Speaking of which, he could feel that experience pool practically bursting to be used, but he was just too exhausted at the moment. He knew that accepting class levels at this moment would be foolish.

Some little bit of the windfall had gone toward his race and primary class given how he’d killed a number of the bugs, but that pool would have to wait as he tried to catch up with his second class… not that he was anywhere close to leveling his swordsman class at the moment regardless.

He was on the floor of his quarters, trying to summon up the strength to rise and give himself a shower or to gain some other manner of cleansing.

The coverall did a very good job of keeping him clean, even scrubbing his head and outer garments when he used that functionality, but it didn’t feel the same as a nice, warm shower.

He groaned, sitting up and sighing.

He pulled his coat into his Inventory, the garment having been cleaned by the ‘full body cleaning’ feature of this coverall. His shoes followed, and then he dismissed the underlying blue garment.

He stood naked in his quarters, taking a moment to revel at the feel of cool air on his bare skin.

That was one downside to the coverall, it kept that sensation from all but his face.

He reached out with his spherical sense, eyes closed, and found the magics in the wall, speed reading allowing him to sort through the library with speed. He then dug into the specific ‘book’ he wanted.

There. With a smile, he gave the command, reveling in finding it in the magics instead of his implanted memories. “Bath.”

The morphic wall folded out and formed a deep tub. Magics very like his Create Water were located within, and Alex triggered them with incredible ease. The mana for the water came from the ship and was trivial to supply.

The next instant, the tub was filled with steaming water.

It was not a full length tub, instead being like a lounge chair with walls rising up with comfortable but not excessive room.

Alex took a deep breath and stepped in, sinking into the almost-too-hot water.

He was grateful that the seat was oriented to let him face the door, even though he knew that was an unneeded sentiment.

In fact, by being turned this way, his head was further from the door, meaning his spherical sense didn’t quite reach it, as it would have if he were facing away.

Maybe next time. He fully settled in, closing his eyes and just letting himself be.

The lights in his room dimmed and died at his prodding, and in the comfortable darkness, the only stimulus—standing out atop the underlying background magics—was a steady flick of power from the ship, keeping the water at the desired temperature.

That was something he wasn’t used to, and as a result, he actually had to adjust the temperature downward to keep the heat from being overwhelming.

Oh… I could get used to this…

Alex allowed himself to relax in that manner for a full quarter hour before he couldn’t keep himself so idle any longer.

The tub shifted at his prodding, helping him sit up straighter even as the water drained away to barely reach up to his navel.

He was hungry, his body still not fully recovered from all the stings and fighting off all the venom. That didn’t even mention the exertion of all the work he’d done on the survivors.

Interestingly enough, he also felt like using his Harden Life skill had cost more calories and nutrients too. It made sense, using his fighting skills taxed his body and upped his nutritional needs, why wouldn’t something more granular have similar requirements and costs?

As such, he pulled up his Create Rations spell and held it in place as he poured mana into it.

He knew his needs this time were a bit different, so he didn’t try to direct things toward the previous, specific result.

The result was that the pattern created was different than before, and he got the distinct impression that he needed a small bowl or cup.

He pulled a camping cup from his Inventory that he couldn’t quite remember the origin of, but that detail hardly mattered.

The Create Rations spell took form, following his intention and coalescing in the stainless steel vessel.

Alex gaped for a moment, looking at the vanilla pudding steaming before him.

A sad smile tugged at his lips.

His mom had made him vanilla pudding when he wasn’t feeling well—obviously not if he was puking—and it had always helped him feel better.

This truly was exactly what he had needed.

The hot pudding was just barely cool enough to have started to thicken, perfectly smooth and even in its texture, rich and full beyond belief and just sweet enough to bring out the other flavors.

He would be lying if he said his mom had made pudding this good. She’d made it from the box… though maybe there were packages within the box? He wasn’t actually sure, now that he thought about it.

Regardless, he’d loved it as a child, and this hit the same spot while being of higher quality for his more… picky tastes. Yeah, that still sounds pretentious.

He chuckled at himself, the act of laughing—even if just at himself—helping him to breathe out a sigh of contentment.

He would accept his level-ups soon enough, but not now.

Not yet.

<Alex, Real - Dorgon Calls for Aid, Innominate Dining Hall>

The room was quiet as Alex sat across from John, the other man quietly enjoying a cup of what seemed to be a vanilla latte equivalent as he waited for Alex to pull his thoughts together.

Grant sat with them, occasionally glancing back and forth as he nursed his black coffee.

Alex had bathed and slept before asking the two men to sit down with him for a chat.

They’d been sitting for nearly a quarter hour in silence, the others waiting for him to begin.

Finally, Alex sighed. “I really don’t know how to do this, so I’ll… I’ll just say what comes to mind?”

John smiled and nodded. “Fine by me.”

Alex looked down at his own untouched cup. “In my house, I have… had I suppose… a beautiful, handmade table. It was stunningly crafted, a custom piece that I had made just after we bought that house, but it took more than a year to be finished and delivered.” He gave a sad smile, closing his eyes. “It can… could seat six.”

“Oh.” Grant looked to John in confusion, but the older man just shrugged, indicating that they should just wait. Grant’s gaze returned to Alex. “I suppose that I’m sorry for the loss of such a lovely piece?”

Alex glanced at the younger man and shook his head, giving a self-effacing half-chuckle. “No, that’s not what I’m getting at.”

There was a momentary pause.

He swallowed, once more closing his eyes briefly before looking up, feeling the sting of tears forming in his eyes, even as he felt silly for saying it. “It’s only ever been set for one.”

That broke open the floodgates, and he just talked.

Over the next hour or so, Alex talked about his hopes and dreams growing up, how he’d met and married his wife. How they’d had trouble getting pregnant and about the joy of finally achieving that dream. They’d bought the house once they knew they actually could have a family. They’d been so excited to move in and get everything ready.

Then, he spoke about their final hike.

He paused there for a moment before jumping to his discussion with Ares to give that context, that terrible guess.

He didn’t pause after that. He didn’t want their responses, not yet.

If he stopped now, he’d never start again.

Instead, he jumped back to the time after her death. There had been support in the beginning, but over time, people didn’t understand why he hadn’t ‘moved on’. They weren’t mean about it, but his lingering sadness year upon year confused them, and it showed.

That confusion was a wedge that prevented most solid connections from growing stronger.

There were a few men who seemed to understand, mostly those in a breakfast group he attended weekly, but even they were close acquaintances at best. They hadn’t really been a community that he could invest in for the long term.

He had colleagues at work, but their idea of friendship was covertly connecting a bluetooth mouse to his computer—when he was still working in office—and wiggling it every now and again to make him think that the computer wasn’t functioning correctly.

John cocked an eyebrow, interrupting for one of his few interjections. “That’s… a very specific example.”

Alex grimaced. “Yeah, I guess it is. They did it for four years. ‘Every Wednesday between three and four so you could notice a pattern.’” His voice changed for that last sentence. “Wow… that was years ago.” Alex huffed a laugh. “I haven’t thought about it for years, but now that I have?” He looked up smiling at Grant and John. “It’s still irritating.”

Grant chuckled. “That’s pretty funny.”

Alex gave him a flat look, and John rolled his eyes. “They probably meant well enough, Alex.”

Alex shrugged in turn. “Beyond mild irritation, it really doesn’t bother me. It just stands as a perfect example of how we never really clicked.”

Grant grunted. “Yeah… I haven’t known you that long, and while I find it funny, I can tell that it wouldn’t be something that you’d appreciate.”

John nodded. “Yeah. That doesn’t strike me as your type of comradery.”

Alex grinned, feeling a bit better at the response. “Yeah. I know I’m a bit odd, though. I genuinely don’t dislike the guy. Regardless, I just never found real connection, and yes, I recognize that such was mostly on me.” He shrugged. “It helped at work though. Everyone else had tangles of relationships and politics that I could just cut through because, while I liked everyone well enough, I genuinely didn’t care. Each project had to be done, even if Sally’s assistant said the new software would make their job harder or Jim’s tasklist would have to be remade.” Alex rubbed at his temples. “Wow… I really stewed on this more than I realized.”

Grant patted Alex on the shoulder. “I got to destroy stuff for a living. I’m not really one to talk about healthy coping mechanisms."

They both looked to John who grinned. “I sent lead downrange at high velocities.”

Grant frowned. “They still make bullets out of lead?” John gave him a flat look, and Grant raised his hands in surrender. “Sorry. Yeah, I understood.”

Alex snorted a laugh, and John cracked a grin. A moment later, the three men were laughing only to pause and take a drink almost in unison.

From there, they just chatted, learning more about one another, sitting side by side.

The Innominate was spinning up for another jump, but that would still be true for hours yet.

This was time for just being.

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