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Braeden: Journal Entry # 1 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-01-07 09:11:59
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content


 I don't even know where to start tonight. My mind is racing, my chest feels hollow and every breath I take feels like its dragging shards of glass through my lungs.

I am currently at the cabin and feel completely out of place. The second I got here, there was really only one person I wanted to see. Lynn. We've barely spoken in months. So I went searching for her, thinking I could catch her alone; have a conversation. But God, when I opened that door, the wrong door, I wish l hadn't went searching in the first place.

She was with him. Him. And they were kissing. The second they caught me, staring, like some pathetic statue, I came up with the lame excuse of looking for the bathroom. I was looking for her, and I hated what I found.

She was smiling at him the way...

It hit me like a freight train - the way she was looking at him, like he was her whole world. That look...

She used to...

with her eyes full of love and warmth and trust. And I ruined it. I took it all for granted.

My sister set me up, I hate my home life, my mother can no longer stand me and my father lives to control me. Chloe is out there with our son...her son and I don't think I'll ever get to lay eyes on him again but this...this is what's truly breaking me.

She's moved on. She's happy. And I'm...l'm a wreck.

I keep going over it in my head, replaying every moment we had together. All the times I should've been better. I should've shown her how much she meant to me. She wasn't asking for the world, even though she was...

All she ever wanted was...

More of me. And I couldn't even give her that. I was too focused on myself, on my own needs, my own problems. I made her feel like she wasn't enough when she was always everything. 

And now I've lost her. Not just as a girlfriend, but as my best friend, the one person who knew me better than anyone else ever will.

I miss her. I miss her laugh, her ridiculous jokes, the way she'd always hum under her breath when she was deep in thought. I miss the way she used to light up when she saw me, the way she believed in me, even when I didn't deserve it. I miss her. 

Tonight I realized something that has crushed me even more: she's going to be okay without me. She's already okay. She's smiling, she's living, she's loving. And me? I feel broken. Like there's this massive hole in my chest that nothing will ever fill.

I know I should let her go, let her be happy, but it hurts so damn much. She's not mine anymore. She'll never be mine again. And that's all on me. I wish I could have done better for her.

I keep saying that I miss my best friend but really...

 and I'm not sure I'll ever recover from this.

-Brae

Comments

Shonda Blanks-Bonaney

Damn this is sad and I could relate even though they are totally different situations there is a hole in my chest / heart that can never be filled. I just hope that some day it will work out for him . Because although her current boyfriend makes her smile and laugh .. he isn’t being truthful and I can say at least Brae was honest to her

Lianna Turner Christopher

Hello ladies, you know part of me feels bad for Braeden and the other part of me doesn't. Like Nevaeh, Braeden has taken advantage of Lynn's ability to forgive and love for far too long and now it has come back to bite him in the ass. Also, like Nevaeh, Braeden deserves to lose Lynn, even if it is only for a little while. I'm glad that Braeden is finally seeing how much damage he has done to not only himself but his relationships with others. Sometimes a person has to lose what they love the most in order to truly understand how much they should have valued what they had. Learning the hardest lessons is one way a person can change and grow.

Tati

I love me some Braeden, but he messed up and I'm team Lynn more. I can see them possibly getting back together after high school if he gets it together. I won't both parties to win weather it's together or a part.

Redkitty120

It’s sad but Brae needs to get his act together. I barely know what is his motives or plans these days. He’s trying to do multiple things at once and it’s all so confusing. I hope he gets proper help and focus in his life before he ends up doing something stupid.

Jamie
>>160586922

I agree I think in the next episode Lynn is going to cut ties with Neveah.

Jamie

Brandon realized he’d messed up the moment he decided to take on the responsibility of caring for Chloe’s son. Lynn had warned him that he was wasting his time with a child who wasn’t his and advised him to focus on being a teenager and their relationship instead. What bothered me even more was how he subtly tried to get Lynn on board with helping him out with the baby. I get that he comes from a toxic and dysfunctional family, but at the end of the day, he needs to prioritize himself. He’d better hope Lee doesn’t find out the boys was responsible for his dad’s death because if he does, things could get ugly.

Novami

Idk how far their story will carry on, but I hope to see their college era. I have a feeling Brae will seek to venture elsewhere and find his purpose/fulfillment. I feel for him as he's trying to figure it all out and escape his toxic home but he's creating a fast pace of life when he should be living in the moment and be a teen. I truly wish him well and hope there's someone he can share happiness with when he's ready. I'm glad they all going through these hurdle to push them on edge for character development. No more security blanket 🤣🤣 urban school got these rich kids out with the wolves.

roamerwanderer

I’ve never cared for Braedens character. This entry was a poignant ode to Lynn. Time after time his actions. He’s almost always taken her for granted. That’s the one thing he’s been consistent on. The best thing papa Braeden ever did for Braeden was: 1) pay Chloe to disappear with baby Leo and 2) making him move back home to avoid juvie/prison for committing arson to the high school. In my head, though it was self serving, it gave Chloe the opportunity to start over somewhere else while also formally giving up baby Leo for adoption. It prevented Braeden from truly living the hardship life of a single teen parent with little education and unstable income. Something that papa and mama B know intimately. They don’t want that for him, especially since it's not his kid. I am super intrigued by the whole family. Mama B can no longer stand him. Why?

roamerwanderer
>>160645307

For real. Cooperdale High has them getting quick on their feet. Best thing that has propelled them in all of their character development thus far.

roamerwanderer
>>160601004

Jamie, you know to me it wasn't even subtle. He was so blatant with it. The manipulation of it all. As if wherever he goes and whatever he does, she would follow like a puppy. As if because she loved him so much she would voluntarily take on the responsibility of becoming a mother to a baby she has no connection to as a teenager. The maddening part is that he was confused and upset that she did not want to become a little family with him and Chloe's son.

Chanel
>>160651935

Braedens farther never did those things for braeden’s benefit he did it to have further control over braedens life to prove that brae is nothing without his farther and his mum acknowledges braedens hardships within the home but turns a blind eye therefore neglecting braeden. It is why braeden always did self destructive things to get away from his father’s grasp he wanted to teach his dad a lesson making braeden become obsessed with getting away from his farther, although it flopped and resulted in pushing away everyone he cared about, there’s is still and understanding why he is the way he is and the reasonings to the things he’s done.

Nippythecreator

Ouuuuu that’s deep but he rlly did treat her like shit an I know he raised the kid but as a women I would have never been able to mentally forgive him when he took in Chloes son like his own knowing Lynn an brae were spose to move together

Lena

I knew he wasn’t looking for no damn bathroom. Now my heart is hurting after reading this. 😭

Keziah Amador

Aww, Braeden! I feel so bad for him he's been through a lot with his tough family and circumstances. But I'm really happy to see Lynn in a good place. Ugh, it's such a complicated situation. Maybe they just need some time apart to grow individually, and hopefully, they'll find their way back to each other. Their bond feels way too special to let go forever, and I think deep down, they both know that. Their eachothers first love and yk the saying…That said, I really hope Braeden takes this time to grow and find himself because let’s be real, I don’t want my girl Lynn with a scrub either! Overall, I loved this journal entry, and I can’t wait to see more!