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Patreon Editing / Early Viewing - Borne of Caution - Act 2 Ch 15 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-02-19 13:05:19
Edited:
2023-02-19 13:07:29
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Well this took forever. My bad. This chapter ballooned into a nightmare that I had to cut in half and make into two chapters. The catch? The other chapter needs a LOT of revision and maybe a total rewrite. Thankfully, since it's mostly there, this shouldn't take as long as this one. I do feel like I'm getting close to burn out with BoC, so after the next chapter or two (or whenever the story gets to a good resting point), BoC will go on a short break as other projects get the limelight for a bit. ETA to Act 2 - Ch 16 is Feb 28th. Enjoy!

EDIT: Since this took so long, it's going live at 5pm EST today (about 9 hours from now) so if you'd like to sign the doc, the window is a bit more narrow. Sorry about that. The next one should have the usual day-or-so timeframe.EDITShttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1lCGmzd4AYZ8qIKJUfPzBmvbpWxtP29m_H-B8cYrcCbY/edit?usp=sharing READ ONLYhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1almjPI1lB9GPwoErb25l2ZnWn4NFUn-3pMoqhXMT9zQ/edit?usp=sharing

Comments

Stavros Istoria

Grrtt... I'm waiting with baited breath at the clash... [Spoiler] Between Lee and Brendan. It seems very obvious and coming at that crossroads, especially so. How it comes to a resolution, we won't know. Especially knowing how team magma "escapes" in game, will Brendan escape with his crush and basically fill in Zannia's role from the game? Will Brendan, after "throwing away his friendship with Lee and Zannia", be betrayed by Courtney leaving him behind, because orders to/ leader sees Brendan useless? What will Ninetales's reaction be to Brendan's betrayal? What about corvisquire? Lee? Zannia? Brendan's father? Even the opposite can be true if Brendan stands against team magma, but seeing the internal struggle it seems unlikely, and the internal struggle will double if it is true. All I know is the emotional conflict is going to be a very good thing to go over during and afterwards. Especially the reflection part. And boy howdy, will we need a reflection since it's hyping up to be a furious fight Internal and physical.

Anonykor

This was tough to read because it’s such a well-written conflict. My only gripe is this could have been solved by a conversation but that’s Lee’s modern sensibilities for you. A part of me thinks it’s a little unrealistic that he would join Magma, it’s clear his Pokémon don’t agree and he would literally lose everyone else in his life. As a teenager, I did a lot of rash things, but the fear of the unknown and losing the good relationships I had always kept me from making too radical decisions. The irony in all this is that Brendan is proving exactly why it was a good idea to keep him in the dark and treat him like a child in the first place.

BelligerentGnu

See, I just 100% can't buy that Brendan will betray them. You've written him as being too smart. That one section about how he wants to be champion to save Lee from politics, plus realizing this chapter that Couetney never explained what she was doing? And all his pokemon disagreeing on top of that? Him considering Electrike too young for battle. His conflict makes sense, but I can't see him making the wrong choice.

Sage Berthelsen

It tastes like angst. CW angst. If Brendon wasn’t the son of a Pokémon professor and was just a regular kid I’d seen him falling for Magma’s game. On the other hand, if Brendon was a girl I could imagine the love angle working regardless. I’m actually reevaluating if I’m a sexist or not. Tons of stories have both princes and princesses, fooled in to helping enemies and terrorists. So I suppose Brendon could be turned. I guess I just don’t want him turned from being a Hero.

Cynocephali

Glad to finally see this, now if only I could hurry up and finish my own chapter so I can read it.

Doodlyboy15

Great chap, I hope the brendan things gets sorted quickly

Doodlyboy15

But that's the thing about brendan's need for validation, it's not gonna be logical.

Bunny Waffles

Be sure to take that break whenever you need if you gotta. Avoiding burnout is important!

Crazyone47

I dont want brendan to leave.....

BelligerentGnu

Half the reasons I mention are emotionally based, not logically. But that's the other thing, Brendan's been written as a very level-headed character who mostly thinks things through. I'm just saying, I don't feel like I've seen enough in terms of the Courtney crush to feel like she would have the emotional edge over Lee.

SwiftFate

Had to request access for some reason :x