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Unused strip for April 9, 2024 (Patreon)

Published:
2024-04-09 17:36:21
Edited:
2024-04-09 17:40:47
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

This early version of April 9th's strip doesn't have a joke, it just kind of ends in a little bittersweet back and forth between Dorothy and Joyce that plods along panel-by-panel and rests on a moment? I mean, it's fine. It's just hard to springboard off that into Things Happening Subsequently, I think were the reasons for retooling it a bit. Chop chop, gotta get the narrative flowing! I got the Dorothy moment that I wanted. Best not to keep poking at it, looking back at the reader, and going EHHH? EHHH???

Here's the final:

Files

Comments

Pangab

I find the “It happens” rather poignant. I wouldn’t have hated that staying in. We all fail at something for better or worse.

taekwondogirl

On top of that, it's recognizing that you can't always avoid the messy bits of life. I think it also shows Joyce acknowledging that side, not just saying it's ok if Dorothy fails.

Gale Tazzin

I agree that the old punchline makes *that strip* better, but it's too clunky to keep the sequence moving to the next strip, so I can see why Willis changed it to keep the action flowing instead of hanging it up on a big moment like that

Maude Reads Things

I think it works better the way the strip ended up. "It happens" feels like it'd get a lot off Dorothy's chest that I don't think she's ready to talk about or admit - even to herself

Sajuuk-Khar

Honestly I gotta say, knowing when to cut moments like this is what makes you one of the best in the business, no exaggeration Because, yeah, “then I will have failed”/“it happens” is pithy and will get the comments spiking past 400, for sure, but like…it doesn’t land right. It doesn’t feel honest, and I even think it centers Joyce when the person who needs help is Dotty (yeah, her issues are tied up in Joyce, but like. Especially with that stare at the billboard.) It takes you out of the story too much. You consistently listen to your gut and you cut these down and the end result is always leaner and better.

T Campbell

This was a clear improvement, not only for plot and humor's sake but also for character's. Joyce probably has more than one motive to go on this adventure, but I doubt she's lost sight of what sparked it--realizing that Dorothy is having trouble and thinking outside the box to help. If Dorothy says "What if you get hurt," Joyce can shrug that off with "I guess I get hurt." Because some hurt is a sacrifice she's willing to make, for the sake of the growth she now treasures and to help her friend. But if Dorothy follows that up with "Then I will have failed," that changes this Joyce issue to a Dorothy issue. It reads a little cold for Joyce to shrug THAT off--she may not know everything that's going on with Dorothy, but she knows Dorothy hates failing and is showing troubling symptoms of situational depression. (If Joyce weren't so distracted, she could say something like "You ALWAYS help me, Dorothy! ALWAYS." After all, helping isn't the same as shielding your friends from everything ever, it's about being there to pull them back to their feet AFTER something knocks them down. Joyce has learned that herself from standing beside Becky. But the warmth of a moment like that would complicate the dramatic tension rising in this one. So cutting this off just before Dorothy makes it too much about her is still the better choice.)

Bagge

I won't lie - I LOVED the unused draft. I can see the point in not using it for sake of the flow, but Joyce's huge, trusting eyes confirming that failure happens... that will stay with me for a long time.

Derek Benson

You're good at your shit, even the stuff you don't post

Aris Katsaris

I'd kinda hate if Dorothy talked as if the only issue with Joyce being hurt would be that *Dorothy* failed. It'd make Dorothy thouroughly unlikeable: Presumably Dorothy should think that Joyce getting hurt is bad on its own, regardless of whether that's Dorothy's failure or not.

Cris Hylton

Honestly miss the "Then I get hurt" beat panel, even if ending on the punchline works better both for the tone and pace of the story arc