Home
Creators
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register Favorites Keys Review DMs Logout
Community
Telegram ThePornDude
Home Creators Posts Import Register Favorites Logout

Early update for August 1, 2025 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-07-31 03:55:02
Imported:
2026-06

Content

so let's become criminals

Files

Comments

Sajuuk-Khar

PERFECT. OPSEC. SARAH SUSPECTS NOTHING.

Morgan Byrd

Absolutely incapable of subtlety

Corronchilejano

Congratulations, you removed Sarah's actual sorta smile with all your bullshit.

MrShoggoth

Oh god me and one of my oldest friends use that title exchange all the time, this is so fucking awkward

Jim Avery

Billie continues to suspect nothing

Sajuuk-Khar

Sarah all “you dumb gay bitches have put me in the goddamn dentist skit from Monty Python and I do not appreciate it! I am not Lemming from the BDA!”

Jeremy AR

God they are so bad at this! 🤩

GPanda

Sarah: hmmmmmmm 😑

Sajuuk-Khar

They’re currently doing it!! It’s so good, right??

C

Not-So-Smooth Criminals indeed.

Lazuli

"dont be suspicious"

Logibear

in fairness. I'd be worried if they were good at it.

etherealDesign

Listen, Sarah already thought you were fucking like, weeks ago. You might as well just do it at this point.

Rachel Baker

I make Sarah’s face in the last panel SO OFTEN

Heatth

They had the perfect cover of their already pretty gay relationship and they somehow blew it. Frankly, I think they might have had more success if they didn't even try to hide. At least Sarah is the least likely to spill to the boyfriends (and Becky)?

Logibear

Is Sarah about to become an Avatar for all of the Relationship Paladins? "INFIDELITY BEGONE!"

Jeremy AR

It would be weird if she did since she isn't here!

Kazo

You know who I actually kinda miss at this moment? Mike. He'd call them both idiots for thinking this would work and then say he did Carol for a nickel.

Populuxe

Gosh, they’re so good at keeping it chill and totally not suspicious.

Tom @ Magic Chopstick Games

Hmm, we still kinda smell a bit like tear gas, we should probably go take a showerNOTTOGETHER

Jayne Lindgren

You've been hit by... You've been struck by... Unsmooth criminals!

Sajuuk-Khar

INSIDE SARAH’S MIND “What? Dorothy’s LITTLE GAY THING FOR JOYCE is evolving! Congratulations! Your LITTLE GAY THING FOR JOYCE evolved into STUPID BULLSHIT!”

Jeremy AR

Said whatever you wish about the cheating but i am incredibly entertained by their nonsense.

5099 5618 v2.0

~And then [Dorothy] showed up and we hung out Trading swigs from a bottle all bitter and clean Locking eyes, holding hands Twin high maintenance machines~

Edwin I Callahan

You got to have some empathy for these two. They try so hard but…

Harold

"Poker? I hardly..."

Uniquitous

Ahhh the look of disapproval. Sarah does not approve of these shenanigans.

Logibear

Honestly, it'd be amazing if she just straight up sets a boundary here by saying "do what you gotta do, but do it somewhere else"

Grace Serenity

Billie thinks Dorothy is Amazi-Girl now

5099 5618 v2.0

(/Octodad wanders by, inconspicuously)

Astariel

They're so good at this.

Maude Reads Things

They're about as subtle as a brick to the face. I love it

Harold

"Friend with benef-- no, wait, that's--"

Heatth

Honestly, I doubt she would give a shit if they weren't being so shifty about it.

Grace Serenity

It's not like they included Sarah in their group chat about hooking up! Oh... they did?

Bronxden

So Sarah knows but also i wonder how this is going to play out because you can love a person but you also don't want to be around their mess, especially when they're the ones who caused it by cheating. I feel bad because Sarah has grown to like Joe and accept the idea/relationship only for it to go up and might lead to some bigger issues.

Vivian

I feel like Sarah will call them out on this bullshit immediately

GundamBradley

The irony being that these two could be pretty damn gay without it striking Sarah as all that out there, like Dorothy has slept in Joyce's bed before. But, these two are so fucking terrible at lying that their attempts to do so make it suspicious and weird.

Matt McKenzie

Well, there goes any concept that this was going to be any kind of lengthy charade.

Waifu Purplebutt

I really hope Sarah takes Joe's side on this being super fucked up of Joyce to be doing (and then does a double-take upon notice she's taking Joe's side)

Andrea Andrew

There are no good sides and there are no bad sides. Oh wait. There are no sides.

Harold

@Vivian: There's only one strip left in this storyline; right now, I'm thinking it'll be an exasperated Sarah saying, "I'm going to Tony's, you idiots do whatever you want," and D & J looking guiltily at each other and then smiling and END OF STORYLINE

Megh

Sarah clearly knows, but there's also only one strip left in the storyline, which makes me think she's just gonna watch this trainwreck happen, which I uh, not sure what to say about that

William Lewis

Gah, if I were the roomie, I would be so on the floor rolling around laughing...

Sajuuk-Khar

I don’t think she intends to watch anything, homegirl is about to go “I’m out” harder than a Shark Tank investor

Sajuuk-Khar

Sarah has set pretty clear boundaries with her little sis before, and I think she will now, too.

Heatth

They are not a married couple fighting for who gets the house and custody of children. They are teenagers in a very low stakes situation. As far as it make sense to "take sides", Sarah will take Joyce because she cares for Joyce is and barely a friend of Joe (she is arguably closer to Walky, but just arguably). I expect she might, like, scold Joyce and say some mean but correct things. But if the friend group splits and "taking sides" become a thing, she will be with Joyce.

Megh

You're probably right Makes more sense than what I was thinkin anyhow

Sajuuk-Khar

I don’t believe for a minute that Sarah will want to put in that kind of effort for something that is, at its core, sexual buffoonery She is going to *divest* from this nonsense. She will not chaperone them, she will not be the morality pet. She’s going to go “y’all do your thing but if you blow up my friend group I will be mad at a later time >:(“ at most.

Sajuuk-Khar

At least, presuming this becomes the hurricane of interpersonal disaster we all expect. Right now she’s just like “oh my God no. No. Get it out of my god damn face, I am LEAVING, I pretend I do not see it”

5099 5618 v2.0

Happens all the time. Signal is a hell of an app.

AE Gonzalez

A running gag in Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur was that Lunella and Casey are such lousy liars, they sound like muppets; the animators rolled with this, and literally turned them into muppets whenever they lied. Joyce and Dorothy have just gone Full Muppet.

Crunchos cereal

So, my prediction is that the next storyline begins in the morning with Joe and Walky waking these doofuses up. Sarah fetches them in the morning after not sleeping at all.

Bronxden

I don't know, Sarah has been more laid back but i don't think she's going to this time with them bringing kid drama around. She might be the one to tell Joyce that this isn't right and before it gets out of hand that she should go tell Joe. Because of now Joyce is cheating and she hates being around that.

darklion

The corpse is already starting to smell. Sarah's face in the last panel is evidence.

Crunchos cereal

Also, I'm from a different country and culture, and middle-aged, but I think Mr. Walkerton's fuck pile sounds more and more like a good idea. These people have mostly known each other for less than a year and probably mostly do not even think of commitment for the rest of their lives. FWIW, at that age I was already with my current spouse, and the 'cheating' reactions here seem a bit... overreacting to me. (We had 'communication' and 'poly' in the vocabulary so not every kiss or longing was grounds for huge reactions.)

The Balloon Animal

😂 I really need to carve out time to sit down with this show. Everything I've seen from it is just delightful

Gale Tazzin

Sarah has also hated the idea of Joyce being with Joe since the very start

Gale Tazzin

"comrades" is on the nose, they were just trying to seize the means of production or whatever

Fart Captor

God. Teenagers are so horny and stupid

Calder Johnson

Agreed, I think end-of-storyline is going to be Sarah heading to Tony's as fast as humanly possible.

Dan Rabin

Wait until they find out about the violence inherent in the system!

Tessea

Smooth, girls. Very smooth. Just acting all natural. Nothing odd happening at all.

Girlycore

Joyce already seized Joe's means of production.

Girlycore

What was supposed to be the charade?

Calder Johnson

@Andrea Whoa, hey now... I get the heebiejeebies from all the puritanical takes flying around, for sure. But I don't know if that calls for swinging the pendulum all back around to any kind of moral equivalency in this situation... @Heatth - I generally agree with you. One of my suspicions/theories though is that we're going to get an extended period of these doofuses trying to put off talking to their boyfriends, while their entire friend group becomes increasingly aware there's trouble in River City. I could see that scenario, depending on high the flames get, really wearing on Sarah. I agree that I think she cares too much about Joyce to 'take sides'...but it could still do some significant damage to their friendship - and cause her an anyuerism as she realizes she's sympathetic to Joe...

Waifu Purplebutt

When I say "taking sides" I mean in the context of "Joyce, what you're doing is fucked up, you shouldn't do that", because it's out of concern for Joyce doing something that seems to me like what Sarah would consider as "wrong", and she wouldn't want her friend/little sister doing something that not only she would think of as wrong, but what she thinks Joyce would think of as wrong if Joyce was looking at the situation from a third-person view instead of first-person.

Brian Danger Hicks

This is a horrible idea, but the alternative is for Dorothy to be in the same room as Becky and we all saw how that went.

Amós Batista

They are so thirsty that forgot shower

Sajuuk-Khar

I mean I kinda agree but I think ultimately it’s less any moral objection and more that she hates drama, she hates losing friends, she is super traumatized from Raidah’s harassment campaign and Liz’s history of being a lovable screw-up has made her prepared for this kind of shit but also so *tired* of it. She’s not invested in who’s banging who or the moral element of it, she just wants things to be in a relative state of equilibrium. Unfortunately,

Calder Johnson

I don't see her going Full Paladin Avatar (and I sure hope not, that would be...weird.) But there's something that's been nagging at me, and this may totally be an unloaded Chekov's Gun that I'm over-thinking, but back during the gym session with Sarah and Joe, near the end Rachel came back after Sarah left and said something to the effect of being 'surprised that didn't end in steamy seductions.' And Joe replied, 'Nothing'd happen between me and Sarah. She's prickly, but she's loyal.' Which leads me to two thoughts: One, she's not going to just abandon Joyce...buuuut, she may also be significantly more upset by this development than some folks are thinking.

Jesse

Blair Witching became the hot new TikTok trend.

Bronxden

this is true

SmartAlec105

Mike was the one who would drag uncomfortable shit into the open so that it could be resolved for the better of all involved. I truly think he was a good guy.

shiftdruid

"Just... fly casual." Star Destroyer Sarah looming;

Sajuuk-Khar

I mean…I just…don’t see it? Sarah is loyal in her own relationships and she thinks that cheating is bad, sure. But she also thinks it’s pretty cool to break up Raidah and Jacob or Joe and Joyce as bad matches. She is at a very “normal” level of teenager ethics. I think she might be…as upset by this as the Faith-Off? But only if it goes on for like another week without resolution, because ultimately what Sarah wants and craves is a stable environment, because again, Sarah is a normal person.

Kazo

Didn't say he WASN'T, just said he'd speedrun this mess

Kelly (they-them)

Sarah's face says, "They'd better not do hand stuff under the blanket while I'm in here."

Kelly (they-them)

"They are ABSOLUTELY going to do hand stuff under the blanket. I'm going back to Tony's."

Sajuuk-Khar

“It’s not even a code, sir, but it checks out and honestly I think inquiring about the payload would make it worse”

George Simpson

Sheesh. The ONLY reason Sarah didn't think they were banging was because Joyce wasn't, until now, being shifty about the pseudo-romantic stuff.

Sajuuk-Khar

I want to stress that I am in no way judging Sarah’s priorities, I do not even think she’s selfish here for caring mostly about “bullshit that will affect me and my friend group” as opposed to “cheating and the morality thereof”. I think she is a normal person. I am, if anything, endorsing her viewpoint! I remember VIVIDLY messy drama situations like this when I was 19-20 and in college! You know what I wanted from them? *To be outside of the blast radius*. Consciously choosing a “team” in this situation is *deranged* if you’re in Sarah’s position.

Sajuuk-Khar

Sarah is not going to consciously take a side, because Sarah is normal. Sarah is going to maybe, *if pressed*, tell Joyce this behavior kind of sucks a bit. Maybe. But is it something she’d blow up things with Joyce over? Jesus no.

Calder Johnson

Raidah was her Nemesis and Jacob was her crush. Easy in that case to rationalize that breaking them up is a 'good' thing. And she may have initially opposed Joe and Joyce, but we've also just seen her seeking out his company and being entirely friendly, especially by her standards. I don't see this as 'taking sides' so much as the potential for significant awkwardness to grow in their relationship.

NinjaZaku

Hanging a giant banner from the front of the dorms that said "Joyce and Dorothy are gay" would be more inconspicuous than what they're doing right now.

Shane Wegner

(A Team Sickos, Polycule Enjoyers Production) Dorothy: “*Smooch smooch* …Joyce, your lips still taste like Joe! …*smooching intensifies hungrily*” Sarah: “A’ight, I’m-a head out to Tony’s…for head from Tony.” Fin

Rob McBobson

When there's a line in a comic with vowel being drawn out like in panel 3, I sometimes wonder how the writer decides how many of the vowels it's gonna be.

Naff

At this point the only person they have interacted with who didn’t find out was the only person who should have been told. Truly amazing levels of incompetence, astonishing.

Jasmijn Wellner

hmm guys do you think sarah suspects anything? 🥺

Uniquitous

She and Joe have had a thaw of late, though.

Joey245

Don't be suspicious oh don't be suspicious don't be suspicious don't be suspicious

Acebender

they are SO bad at this jesus christ

tifani

Now they’re just insulting Sarah’s intelligence

tifani

I’m over their dumbass shenanigans so I would be thrilled if she calls them out but I doubt she’d be okay with leaving them to it. She’ll probably give them a talk that lets them know just how shitty they’re being and just how obvious they are. They’re not going to be smiling.

Matt McKenzie

That they are pretending to still be platonic friends until they’ve sorted out the whole thing out.

tifani

I had empathy right up until they decided on the sleepover.

tifani

Yeah why are they involving her?

tifani

I feel like Sarah’s the closest to me in terms of real life personality and if I’m right they have about two seconds before she shuts this down and makes them regret coming into the room. You do shit like this in front of me? You want to involve me in your problem? Okay now I’m involved and this is NOT a judgment free zone.

Gwen Sanger

Personally I say the word out loud and hold the key down for as long as I held the sound, then edit if it looks wrong.

Joseph

they are so good at this

zee

They're so fucking bad at this

AE Gonzalez

Only Joyce interacted with Joe, and her mouth was too full to say anything.

KittyKai

Nailed it x3

Aviyara

I don't recall when (or really if) she had an on screen change of heart but isn't this the same Sarah who was actively trying to break up Joe and Joyce by any means necessary? I wonder if either of them will fling that back in her face in a panic.

Harold

@Jesse Dusk: That was last night/early this morning - I think Brian is referencing what *just* happened when Dorothy went back to her room, where she literally ran from Becky's prying about why she was "glowin' " (I'd like to think there were little puffs of smoke billowing around Dorothy's feet as she raced out, with frantic Flintstones bongos on the imaginary soundtrack)

Harold

Since I don't think anyone's mentioned this yet: Holy SHIT, those wonderful nervous/horny smiles in panel 1

Heatth

I don't think Sarah is annoyed by them being together, but rather by them hiding it and doing so that badly.

C

Sarah: Oh, just fuck already! Dorothy and Joyce: ...*slowly start sliding under the blanket* Sarah: ...WAIT UNTIL I LEAVE FIRST! *dashes out the door*

tifani

Wild how many people seem to feel like Sarah is going to tell them to fuck and leave her out of it. She’s going to point out how fucked up and stupid this is and how it’s going to cause drama for their entire friend group and she’s going to mock how obvious they are.

Maybeeus

The terms are clear. She can either, 1. Leave for an hour or 2. deal with this bullshit all night.

George Simpson

Still off, but Dorothy *did* have stylistic input on the suit.

5099 5618 v2.0

I suspect that's coming. The picture of the two of them kissing at the protest surrounded by tear gas could end up being this 'line's version of the sailor kissing the lady in NYC at the end of WWII. Or Guernica.

Sajuuk-Khar

Sarah: ABSCOND LIKE THE WIND

Shane Wegner

Weirdly enough, this is the evolutionary trait that INCREASED our survival odds.

Sajuuk-Khar

Time is a valuable thing, and you watch it go by as the pendulum swings.

Grace Serenity

Yeah, that was never an option with these two. They have less chill than a room temperature soda!

Grace Serenity

Booster is going to have a field day with all this drama aren't they?

Harold

@5099 5618: "This generation's sailor-kiss photo - now with CONSENT!"

tifani

He helped her work out. Their relationship has evolved.

tifani

This storyline is making me realize I actually have a really low tolerance for cheating plot lines. I had no idea how much. It’s just so stupid! LET THEM BE CAUGHT BY WALKY OR JOE NOW PLEASE IMMEDIATELY. They’re so bad at this. The second hand embarrassment is too much. Also Joyce’s horniness level is insane this girl got fingered last night, made out with Dorothy, just blew Joe and now can’t even wait the amount of time it takes for Sarah to leave the room to start getting touchy with Dorothy. The floodgates have opened.

tifani

Is there a name for the people who are pro polycule but anti cheating and are therefore HATING this? Like this could have been a great sundae if not for the bird that flew by and shit all over it. Also has anyone else seen that kids in the hall skit where the people are so bad at cheating and they’re on an airplane. The wife books a flight with her boyfriend and her husband is in the seat next to them. “I can’t believe you’re doing this….so badly!”

Gale Tazzin

that's his means of *reproduction*

Grace Serenity

Fundamentalist repression is a hell of an aphrodisiac!

5099 5618 v2.0

@Harold "(Contains 30% more ENM/cheating discourse by weight)"

Ilana Feldman

A big part of it is that Joyce has a history of digging herself into a deeper hole when she does something harmful to other people. It happened with Jacob and it also happened when she avoided telling Becky she was an atheist. Also, I imagine these two idiots are in for an avalanche of consequences as soon as this storyline ends and they subconsciously know it.

Albi

I am waiting for that kiss to be plastered all over the place.

Albi

Hopefully she'll remember that her boyfriend has a single...