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Early update for September 23, 2026 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-09-22 03:55:00
Imported:
2026-10

Content

too many syllables to work as a lyric parody of "hungry eyes"

Files

Comments

jafortee

real eyes realize Billingsworth is being a real piece of shit

The25th

You ruined brunch.

C

To quote MST3k: "You and your stupid thoughtfulness can go to hell!"

Andrea Andrew

Billie, you need to stop fearing love.

Jamie (QueenofSodor)

oh god no we finally reached the part where she self-destructs, fuck

Logibear

No... no Billie! That last one wasn't sarcasm!

Logibear

Homing in on the nearest bottle of Jack like a dog running into mud

Lazuli

"why do you call her jennifer?" "its what she asked us to call her"

Logibear

Joyce as the accidental Asma Wingman

Harold

Also not fucking Billie: Alice, apparently

KiasyonSFM

Let her know Jennifer!!!!!

Sajuuk-Khar

Jennifer: I KNOW YOU WANTED TO BREAK US UP, RUTH!! WELL GUESS WHAT? I DID IT FIRST, AND BETTER

Harold

True. Also true: Alice, you need to stop trying to rekindle whatever you had with this dumbass, and continue flirting with the front desk girl but do it in earnest this time because she's down bad

Sajuuk-Khar

Billifer, really, as the accidental Asma Wingman

Harold

Ruth: "You disgust me. I hate you." Jennifer: "Are you as turned on as I am?" Ruth: "MORE"

Sajuuk-Khar

Jennifer: On the one hand, I’ve reconnected with someone I truly care about, who cares about me, and I think I might be happy. But on the other, I COULD be chugging Early Times and Jack while a distorted version of “Fuckin Perfect” blasts in the background, and really, is that not the ideal?

Sajuuk-Khar

Or, *or*, hear me out, take that cute little redhead Becky that Billie used as a divider and just cooch slam her with your cooch, see where that goes

Gale Tazzin

joyce, she's neurotypical, you can't just call her out like that, she will not embrace a label, she will change course to avoid it out of spite

Astariel

Nooo, it backfired!

Lazuli

is it really self-destructing?

Lazuli

this is feeling like joyce is pressing jennifers buttons and continuing to be called billie was the last straw for her

Logibear

We were all the wingmen we made along the way

Shane Wegner

Oh no, she’s de-re-re-branding!

Empress of Robots

Well Jennifer self-sabotaged that a lot quicker than I thought she would...

Lazuli

whatd sajuuk say?

Sajuuk-Khar

Alpha cheerleader, problem creator

Empress of Robots

Honestly, I can BARELY blame Jennifer this time because maybe Joyce should have realized that Sapphic Discretion can be the better part of Sapphic Valor. Rookie mistake.

Johanne

Oof I feel so bad for Alice here. She almost had her!

Jesse

Yes… Ha ha ha… Yes!

joe mcguire

Oh good, her dedication to the facade she’s built that nobody actually likes is going to sabotage the genuine relationships she’s built. I was worried.

David Pipes

Not if you'd used "slash s eyes"

Tessea

Whoops...

Tessea

I'm honestly starting to question the idea that Jennifer is neurotypical.

Tessea

Plot twist, Ruth and Asma _sent_ Joyce.

Harold

Oops! All Non-Billies

Harold

@Tessea: LOL at this idea. "Wait for it, Asma. I don't know how, but have faith - she *will* fuck this up."

Maude Reads Things

Unless you're Alice apparently. And yeah, she ain't quite there yet