Young, Dumb, and Full of Cum (Patreon)

Hey guys - this one really got away from me, clocking in around 11k words.  I'm doing my best to get the new Catch of the Day out for tomorrow, but I hope you'll enjoy reading this in the meantime!  Don't forget to leave a comment. -D

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I got the same letter everyone does – except I was one of the unlucky ones. While 90% of guys escape it, I’d been drafted into two years of mandatory homosexuality after college.

That’s a minimum of two years. I’ve seen the statistics. A disturbing amount of guys keep volunteering afterwards. Not me. I’d be back eating pussy the moment my term expired.

I tried to claim an exemption – a long term girlfriend – but Krista and I had gotten sloppy filing our paperwork. So the morning after graduation I fucked her one last time and drove to the nearest recruitment centre.

I groaned. The line was down the block – at least a hundred new college grads, all of us legally required to report the day after graduation. It sucked – I should have been taking a few days off. Instead I was getting sticky and sweaty, melting in the summer heat.

“Hey,” the guy in front of me said.

I grunted noncommittally. This wasn’t the time to make friends. I just wanted to fill out the paperwork, then get home and drink until I passed out. I wouldn’t be allowed to date or sleep with women for two whole years – but they couldn’t make me date men. I knew my rights.

But this guy didn’t know how to take a hint. A couple minutes later he tried again.

“So, I guess you just graduated too?” he asked. “I was a philosophy major.”

“Uh yeah,” I said, not finding an easy way out of the conversation. “I took business.”

“Nice,” he grinned. “Got a job lined up?”

“Yeah, with my Dad’s company,” I said. “He’s a senior VP, so he’s got lots of pull.”

“That’s cool,” the guy said. “Must be cool to have something lined up.”

“Yeah,” I shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. If you can’t find something else, I hear this whole gay thing has some kind of jobs program.”

“Yeah, like I want to end up working as a bartender or whatever? No thanks,” the guy grinned. “I’m Max, by the way.”

“Saul,” I said.

And just like that, I made my first gay friend.

The line was long, but it actually moved pretty fast. Max and I kept chatting as we waited – it was easier than getting him to shut up. Then he was called inside and I was still next in line. The anxiety of the moment surged through me.

“Next,” the recruiter called. It was my turn.

---------------

The paperwork wasn’t actually that bad. They directed me to a little cubicle with a middle aged woman wearing a pantsuit.

“Welcome to the homosexuality acceptance program,” she said, stringing all the words together into one monotone sentence. “Name and age?”

“Saul Hardman,” I said, trying to stay calm. “I’m twenty-three years old.”

“Reason for application?” she asked, looking at me with a bored stare.

“Uh... I got drafted,” I said.

She spent the next minute typing madly into her keyboard. Finally she looked up, almost surprised to see me. I heard the whirr of a printer behind her and she reached around to grab the form.

“Thank you, your records are already on file,” she said. “Follow the yellow arrows on the floor to the reorientation booth, hold onto your intake paperwork. Make sure you check your email for follow-up instructions. Orientation is at 11 AM tomorrow, please make sure to be on time.”

“Did you say eleven o’clock?” I scoffed. “Yeah, I think I’ll be on time.”

“Please make sure to be on time,” she repeated robotically. She glanced behind me at the absurd line, clearly wishing she’d called in sick that day.

I got up and found a set of yellow arrows taped onto the carpet, the way they did in grocery stores back during the pandemic. I joined the steady flow of young men shuffling forward along the path. I’d heard stories about the reorientation booth – that’s where they were gonna flip my switch and make me gay. Two years later, it’s where they’d switch me back.

The walk was over far too soon. Soon I was being directed towards something that looked ore like a supply closet door. A swishy looking young man in a white coat took my paperwork and told me to go inside. The room was bare except for a clinical bed and an unusual looking light mounted on the ceiling.

“Comfortable?” he asked, strapping me to the bed.

“I’m tied up like a crazy person,” I pointed out. “And why? Cause I’m straight? Look dude... I know it’s the law, but the law’s wrong.”

He checked ‘Consent’ on my form and left the room.

I waited an eternity before the light started to glow. First it was a plain white light, but soon lines started pulsing rapidly. The white light seemed to split, quickly becoming a rainbow of lights that strobed right into my brain. I tried squeezing my eyes closed, but my eyelids wouldn’t move.

Eventually the light flashed off and I heard the door swing open. The swishy doctor was leaning over me and checking my vitals. Damn... he was hella cute...

“How do you feel?” he asked, shining a little flashlight into my pupils.

“Can I have your number?” I mumbled.

I couldn’t believe I said that. I’ve never said that sort of thing before – not to a guy! It was automatic... oh god... however it worked... it worked!

“We’ll take that as a successful reorientation,” the doctor smiled. I felt my dick jump just staring at his dimples. He loosened my straps and helped me sit up.

“My head feels weird,” I said. “Did something go wrong?”

It was true – my balance felt off.

“No, that’s perfectly normal,” he said, giving me that disarming smile again. “It might take a few minutes to regain your equilibrium. I’ll call someone to help you to our recovery area. You can sit for as long as you’d like, just call over a nurse if anything feels like it’s getting worse.”

“Can you help me?” I said, landing my hand on his arm. I squeezed just a little, feeling his bicep under the lab coat.

“Bruno, a little help?” he called out the door. A twenty-something hispanic man with dark hair and some serious muscle walked in. He helped me up and slid an arm around me so I wouldn’t fall.

I glanced back at the cute doctor, but my heart had already moved on to Bruno.

---------------

My first class in college was at 8 AM, so an eleven o’clock start time seemed like a vacation. I got up at my usual time, had breakfast, and then hit the gym for an hour.

Lemme tell you this – hitting the gym is totally different when you’re gay.

First off, you’d think I’d be staring at half-naked dudes in the locker room. No way, I don’t wanna get my ass handed to me. Instead I kept my eyes on my shoes, anything to keep from seeing another guys naked ass or dangling balls. For the first time in my life I felt awkward in a locker room.

It got a little better when I got into the gym proper. I work out pretty early – it’s mostly big dudes who are getting their lifts in before work. Not a lot of ladies. Usually I like that, it keeps me focussed.

But, of course, now I was trapped in a gym full of hot muscle dudes who just keep grunting and flexing and squatting really heavy. My eyes had never lingered on another guys glutes before... I was just praying that nobody noticed.

This orientation week was so fucking stupid. Okay, they flipped my switch, I couldn’t stop staring at guys! Why did I need to spend a week in a classroom to figure that out?

But that’s the law, so at 10:50 I showed up at the orientation centre and took a seat in a big lecture hall. There were a couple hundred people in my orientation class, and it looked like every seat was gonna be full. I picked one at random, somewhere in the back third of the room.

“Hey dude... mind if I sit here?” I heard a familiar voice say. It was Max from the lineup, glancing around the room like he expected snakes to drop from the ceiling.

“Yeah,” I shrugged. “Whatever.”

He took a seat on my left. I glanced to the right just in time to see a decently built guy with a red MAGA hat throw himself down. I winced – it’s been like fifteen years since their guy lost, time to give it up.

“That is bullshit, huh bud?” he laughed loudly. “This voodoo shit doesn’t even work.”

I gave a non-committal half smile and turned to chat with Max.

We were in class for about an hour when the professor assigned study groups. Of course I got lumped in with MAGA hat and Max, along with some other asshole.

---------------

The morning lecture was kind of interesting – Professor Spinnaker was talking about the history of civil rights in the United States, with a focus on gay rights. He spent a while talking through some riots that happened in New York way back in the day. Wild, I had no idea.

In the afternoon we filed out of the big lecture hall and clustered around tables with our study groups. The professor was going from group to group, chatting with each of them for a few minutes and then moving on to the next.

“This is horse crap,” Kyle – the red hat – moaned. Since we were in a group together I was trying to stop rolling my eyes and just get along. “You can’t just turn guys gay, that’s not how it works!”

“I don’t know,” Max shrugged nervously. “I mean... yesterday I liked girls. I tried to jerk off when I got home and... nothing, y’know?”

“Bro, nobody wants to hear about you jerkin’ off,” Kyle complained. “This shit should be illegal.”

“I disagree,” Joey said. He was this kinda chubby guy with a beard. “We studied the mandatory homosexuality program in college – they’ve got some really great results in terms of reducing hate crimes and increasing community cohesion.”

“That’s bullshit,” Kyle said sullenly, slumping in his chair and crossing his arms. “I’m s’posed to be starting a new job this week, now I gotta deal with the goddamn government.”

“I get the frustration,” I said, trying to find some common ground. “I mean, I’m supposed to be starting as an analyst at my Dad’s company. I just spent four years working hard to graduate at the top of my class... now I’ve got to waste a week learning this stuff.”

“It’s kind of interesting,” Joey said excitedly. “I took this whole class on the Stonewall Riots in first year, and –“

“I’m not saying it’s not interesting,” I interrupted. “I’m just saying... it feels weird to be forced through this, y’know?”

We were saved by the professors arrival.

“Good afternoon boys,” Professor Spinnaker interrupted. “Sorry for the wait, the first day is always a bit of a mess. It’s good to meet you all. Now... who wants to go first?”

“First?” Kyle asked suspiciously.

“Sounds like a volunteer,” Spinnaker grinned. “What’s your name son?”

“I’m Kyle Morris,” he said guardedly. “I don’t wanna be here. I got rights, you know?”

“I hear you Kyle,” the professor said with practiced ease, tapping Kyle’s name into his notepad. “So, as you probably know, there are a lot of different kinds of gay guys. For the purposes of this program, we sort people into the archetypes that most embody their inner self. Please, put your hand on this stone.”

He put a speckled grey rock in the middle of the table.

“Huh?” Kyle said.

“Just touch the rock,” Joey sighed. “The magic rock’s gonna tell you what kind of gay guy you’re gonna be. God, didn’t you read the material?”

“Fuck off,” Kyle spat. But he reached out and touched the stone. After a moment in glowed neon orange, like it was some kind of fucked up radioactive waste.

“Neon orange,” the professor said, noting it down with a smile. “Kyle, you’re going to be a gym bunny. Or sometimes guys call it being a ‘muscle mary’. That’s up to you. And if you participate in our jobs program you’ll be suited for so many options – personal trainer, gogo boy, you can even be a prostitute if you want.”

“Oh great,” Kyle said sarcastically. “There’s so much freedom.”

“I’ll go next,” Joey offered. He reached out and touched the stone, watching its colour shift to a deep red. “What’s that mean?”

“It means you’re a cub,” the professor said encouragingly. “What was your name?”

“Joey O’Connor,” the chubby young man said.

“I’m Max Buchanan,” my friend from yesterday introduced himself. “Let’s see what I get...”

He reached out and touched the stone. The grey rock blushed until it was hot pink.

“Excellent,” Spinnaker smiled. “Max, you’re going to be a twink. That just leaves...”

“I’m Saul,” I said, reaching for the rock. “Saul Hoffman.”

The rock darkened under my touch. By the time it stabilized it was a dark navy blue.

“Wonderful Saul,” the Professor grinned. “You’ll be a gaybro. These are all excellent archetypes gentlemen – I think you’ll enjoy learning more about them.”

“Yeah?” Kyle said, rolling his eyes. “Why should we learn this stuff?”

Professor Spinnaker laughed.

“It’s it obvious?” he chuckled. “How else will you get boys?”

---------------

Of course there was homework. All I wanted was go home and try to unwind.

Instead I ended up at the mall with my study group, searching for clothes to match our assigned archetypes. The whole thing felt weird to me – we did a little overview of the major archetypes in the classroom, and yeah the gaybro thing sorta suited me, but seriously? I had to dress and act a certain way because a magic rock said so?

At least we got to use a government credit card. I’d be so pissed if I had to spent my own money playing dress-up.

I looked down at the shopping list I’d been issued. Jeans, t-shirts, tank tops, a backwards ball cap... I felt like I got off easy. A couple guys in our class had gotten the ‘leather daddy’ archetype and their lists had been... extreme.

“Everyone be on the lookout for pink,” Max said. “It says here that like... half my stuff has to be pink. Weird.”

“Let’s just blow this off,” Kyle said, glancing around the store. “If we don’t buy the clothes, what are they gonna do?”

“C’mon Kyle, just give it a chance.” I’d only known Joey for a few hours, but it was already clear that he really believed in the system. “Here, I see some flannel shirts over there... there’s one on my list, and then I guess I’m gonna cut the sleeves off at home.”

“Fine,” Kyle pouted. “Let’s just grab this shit and get going.”

---------------

I got home around six o’clock, loaded with shopping bags. Once we got into the groove, it was actually kind of fun to try stuff on and joke around with the guys. Even Kyle go into it, laughing at how faggy he looked in five-inch shorts and a neon purple tanktop.

The thing about five inch shorts... we could see he was hard. But who needed that fight?

My new clothes were a lot less flashy. I’d bought a couple pairs of jeans that did a good job of showing off my body – 5% spandex is one hell of a thing. Normally my t-shirt game is pretty basic, but Max had insisted on helping me and I ended buying with a half-dozen muscle fit tee’s covered in retro surf designs. Add in a couple options for backwards caps and I was set.

I checked my phone when I got home. Four missed calls from my best friend Jared. I called back right away.

“Hey,” Jared said. “How was the first day?”

“I dunno man,” I chuckled. “Some of it was kinda interesting, but a lot of the stuff feels really stereotypical. Can you believe they actually assigned me a style I’m supposed to follow?”

“For real?” Jared asked. “Dude, I’m sorry you got drafted. Look, I’m trying to figure out if there’s a loophole or whatever we can use to get you out. Krista’s been blowing up my phone all day, I guess you totally ignored her last night.”

I thought back. Yeah, she’d sent a couple texts, but she hadn’t really said anything. Just ‘hey’ and ‘how you doing?’ kinda stuff. Yeah, I brushed her off, but I had a big day.

“Is she really making this about her?” I asked.

“Just... give her a call or something,” Jared told me. “And don’t worry bro, I’m gonna get you out.”

“Yeah, okay,” I said. “Later bro.”

I hung up the phone. Fuck, my cock got hard when I called him bro.

---------------

I woke up early the next morning and went to the gym. I sorta wish I’d picked up some new gym gear during our shopping spree – maybe I wasn’t a gym bunny like Kyle, but I still squat 225 and I bet my ass would look amazing in his clothes.

Some of the guys at my gym gave my uncomfortable looks. I was trying not to stare, but when there’s that much muscle around... fuck man, it’s hard to keep your cock down, y’know? Besides, I thought about some of the civil rights stuff I learned about – I had as much right to exist as the straight guys did, I shouldn’t have to avert my eyes to make them feel comfortable.

I got home with plenty of time to get ready. Instead of my normal tight shave, I decided to let my stubble grow a little, just cleaning up my neck. Then I slipped into a comfortable pair of jeans and a tight blue tee with a faded white logo on it.

At my college, business students wore suits everyday. I’ve been parting my hair and combing it over for the past four years. It felt so weird to slip a backwards red ballcap over my greasy hair and lace up a pair of sneakers.

The whole class was decked out in their new clothes. I slipped into my seat between Max and Kyle. Max was dressed in a pair of tight black slacks and silky pink dress shirt. Kyle was dressed exactly the same as the day before – baggy jeans, an old t-shirt with an American flag, and his stupid red cap.

“Good morning everybody,” Professor Spinnaker said as he strolled into the room. “I’m pleased to see that everybody completed yesterday’s homework assignment... except –“

His eyes landed on Kyle.

“Excuse me, Mr... Morris is it?”

“That’s right,” Kyle said angrily. “I’m not doin’ it. I’m not wearing the clothes. The law says I gotta be here, but it doesn’t say anything about dressing like a fag.”

“Mr. Morris, the rest of the class took the time to bring their homework,” the professor said with a condescending drip to his voice. “Why do you think you should be exempt?”

“This class is bullshit bro,” Kyle said, standing up in opposition. “I’m not doing it! This shit doesn’t work – you can’t turn people gay! And you’re just doing it so there’s less patriots! You’re trying to erase our fucking freedoms!”

“Hmm...” the professor said slowly. “So which is it... this doesn’t work, or we’re trying to erase your political ideology?”

“Fuck you!” Kyle shouted.

Professor Spinnaker circled around the front of the classroom, staring up at Kyle thoughtfully. Then he walked to the door and stepped outside.

He came back with two orderlies in tow. I recognized Bruno, the hunky guy who had helped me to the waiting room earlier.

“Row 11,” Spinnaker said, pointing up towards us. “The political hat and the flag t-shirt. He needs an emergency makeover.”

“What the fuck?” Kyle said, pushing past me and Max to reach the aisle. “That’s nothing but gay bullshit!”

He strode straight towards the pair of orderlies. I think he planned to push them aside and leave, but they grabbed his arms before he made a move. A few seconds later Kyle was being dragged from the classroom, screaming his head off. As he struggled against their grip his hat fell to the floor.

“I’m sorry about that,” Professor Spinnaker said, calmly walking over and picking up Kyle’s hat. He placed it on the podium where the whole class could see it. “Like I was saying, I’m glad that everybody completed yesterdays homework assignment. Now, let’s get into today’s topic – gay culture. Gay people have a unique culture that’s been brought about through...”

As he droned on, I couldn’t stop staring at Kyle’s hat.

---------------

We spent the day learning about gay culture. The history, the traditions, the language. It was kind of a fun day – the professor played everything from Cher to Elton John to The Weather Girls. He showed us Judy Garland in Wizard of Oz, and then topped the afternoon off with an episode of Drag Race.

It was around four o’clock when Kyle strutted back into the classroom. I barely recognized him after the makeover.

“Hey Professor!” he said brightly, interrupting the Spinnaker in mid-sentence. The professor turned and gave a wide smile.

Kyle had gone through a complete makeover – and I mean complete. It wasn’t just clothes or hair – though his clothes were bright and tight, and his hair was bottle blond. It was his body too! The old Kyle had been decently built, but this new one clearly lived at the gym. Every muscle was a study in pumped up perfection.

“Hello Mr. Morris,” Spinnaker said with a little smirk. “It’s good to see you back with us.”

“Like... oh my god Professor... I’m sooooo sorry I was such a bitch!” Kyle cried, rushing over to hug Spinnaker.

“It’s okay,” the professor said, patting him on the back. “You’re all better now, aren’t you?”

“Hell yeah!” Kyle said, giving a sassy snap of his fingers. “I’m like... totally over that straight boy bullshit!”

“I’m glad to hear,” the professor said. “Why don’t you take your seat?”

Kyle jogged up the steps towards our group. He slid quickly past me and Max, popping his hips back a little and making sure I got a good look at his new bubble butt. It was covered in a thin little pair of white shorts. His tanktop was still the American flag – but now it was made out of sequins and tight enough to show off the curve of his pecs.

“Hey bro,” he whispered, setting his muscular body down gracefully. Max stared past me, openly gawking at Kyle’s transformation. Kyle rewarded him with a flex of the bicep.

After class we walked towards the door together.

“Hey Hoffman,” he said, throwing his arm around my shoulder. “Wanna hit the gym?”

---------------

I told Kyle we’d need to stop by my place and grab some gym clothes. He told me no worries – he still had the shopping from yesterday in his car, he’d loan me whatever. I hopped in his car and he headed to his gym.

His new gym. I couldn’t see the old Kyle working out there. The gym had a big pride flag hanging in the front window. We waved our MH cards over the scanner and walked inside. It’s unfair – natural gay guys have to pay for all this stuff, but the government covers our gym memberships and the occasional wardrobe upgrade.

“So... what happened today?” I asked, trying to sound casual. “That makeover thing... seems pretty extreme.”

We were in the locker room, getting changed into gym clothes. Kyle was almost naked, just a jockstrap and a pair of tiny red shorts.

“Oh that silly thing?” Kyle said, a giggle escaping from his lips. “Like... I dunno bro, they just took me to the spa and I got to relax for a while. The doctors there are like... so nice! And now I’m such a good gym bunny, aren’t I?”

He struck a double bicep pose. My cock almost slipped out of the tiny black shorts he’d lent me. I slipped on his purple tanktop too, and of course, my cap was nestled backwards on my head.

“C’mon,” he said, hurrying me along. “We gotta squat!”

“I dunno man,” I protested. “I usually do legs on Friday.”

“Squats are everyday,” Kyle said firmly.

Looking into his big dumb eyes, I didn’t see any reason to argue.

---------------

I could barely stand as we moved back to the locker room. Kyle was relentless in the gym. He pushed me on every exercise, squeezing one last rep out of me with a sexual magnetism I was totally unprepared for. I couldn’t say no – and I didn’t want to!

“C’mon Hoffman, let’s shower,” he suggested in that deep voice.

I grabbed a towel and followed him into the shower area. There were about a dozen private stalls lined up along the wall. I headed for the cubical next to his.

“Bro,” he scoffed. “With me.”

I glanced both directions. We were alone, and I got the feeling it wouldn’t have mattered anyhow. None of the guys in the gym had seemed put off by Kyle’s lingering glances or his bare chest. Compared to most of the gym, I was overdressed.

This wasn’t like my regular gym. I closed the door to my cubical and followed Kyle into his shower. He twisted on the hot water and the shower fill with steam.

“Lemme take care of that,” Kyle said, reaching out and squeezing my cock. He got down on his knees quickly, taking my cock into his mouth, teasing me until I was hard as a rock.

“Holy shit,” I mumbled. Only a couple days ago I’d been a straight guy. Now I was naked in a gym shower with a gym bunny desperate for my cock. And I was loving it!

“Mmmm....” he moaned, sucking as hard as he could. His blond locks were plastered against his forehead by the water, and his honest blue eyes were staring up at my torso in lust. It was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.

“Uhhhn...” I moaned, slumping back against the tile.

I’ll admit... I hadn’t gotten myself off since reorientation. It didn’t take long before I blew my load straight down Kyle’s throat.

“Hell yeah bro,” he murmured into my ear. Kyle pressed his muscular body against mind and kissed my deeply. My mind shut down from the pleasure – yeah, I used to be straight... but this was where I lived.

---------------

“Dude, have you not called Krista?” Jared bitched at me. “Seriously, is this some sort of gay school rule? Like you have to be a dick to your ex-girlfriend?”

“Nah, it’s not a rule,” I said. My mind kept wandering back to Kyle. The way he looked with his lips around my pole. The way his body felt against mine. The taste of my own cum as he kissed me.

“Okay, forget about her... I’ve been doing some digging. I called a friend of mine who works at the Department of Social Development and he sent me over the statistics. The real statistics.”

“Okay,” I said. I was barely paying attention to the conversation. I’d let a guy suck me off... and I’d loved it. I really was gay. But like... were Kyle and me a thing now?

“The public statistics say that roughly 3% of mandatory homosexuality program participants decide to remain gay after their two years. But the internal numbers say it’s closer to 95% dude!”

“Huh. What?” I said. I caught a little bit of that, and it didn’t seem right.

“And here’s what’s weird – I’ve been doing some reading on the organizational structure, trying to see if there’s somewhere you can appeal. For some reason, Social Development is under the jurisdiction of the Department of Economic Development.”

“So?”

“So... okay, this is gonna sound like a conspiracy theory,” Jared said slowly. “I think... look, this program started around the time that businesses were shutting down cause they couldn’t find staff for low-wage positions. And then right after... those hiring numbers started picking up. Baristas, bartenders, waiters, cashiers... have you ever noticed how many of them are gay guys?”

“Jared, is this going somewhere bro?” I asked. I wanted to text Kyle and seeing if he wanted to come over and hang.

“Saul, listen... I think they’re using the MH program to take educated guys and turn them into gay guys who are happy to take those jobs. I struck up a conversation with the barista at the coffee place on Cragg Street, and he told me he doesn’t worry about the money. He’s just happy to be ‘young, dumb, and full of cum’.”

“Yeah, sure bro,” I chuckled. “Good prank. Look, I'm sorry I didn’t call Krista. I’ll do it tonight.”

I hung up the phone. Young, dumb, and full of cum. I chuckled... that certainly described Kyle. And me too I guess, to some extent. I mean, isn’t every guy pretty much a slave to his cock?

I didn’t think too much about the next part. To be honest, I barely remember doing it. But this story doesn’t make sense if I don’t tell you, so I’ll tell you.

I tapped on the ‘Phone’ app and punched in a number. Three rings later and I heard a voice speak on the other end.

“Report.”

“Mandatory Homosexuality Program compromised,” I said flatly. “Jared Djykstra. 145 Apple Road. A friend gave him internal statistics on the program and he believes that the government is using the MH program to produce a workforce willing to take worse jobs. Suggest immediate action. Report ends.”

The phone line went dead and i tucked it into my pocked. A few seconds later it rang again.

My world snapped back into focus. It was Kyle!

“Hey bro,” he said in that sexy voice of his. “We’re gonna meet up at Max’s and order some food and watch Mean Girls. You in?”

I imagined snuggling up to Kyle on a couch.

“Totally!” I said.

---------------

I kind of got to cuddle up to Kyle. He’d grabbed a spot in the middle on the couch. I picked the spot to his right, while Max landed into his left side. Joey seemed content to grab a chair and stare intently at the movie.

For real, it’s actually a good movie. Did you know Aaron’s actor is gay? I’m totally following his Instagram.

Kyle put his arms up on the back of the couch. I felt one of his meaty biceps brush against the back of my head. I didn’t really follow the movie past that.

Our Thai food was long since gone, and we were finishing the second bottle of wine when the credits rolled. I kept inhaling Kyle’s sweaty scent... I knew he’s showered after the gym, but his natural musk was so strong.

“That was good, huh?” Max said, breaking into an exaggerated yawn. “It’s getting late guys, I guess we should warp it up.”

“Sure thing,” Joey said. “I’m gonna hit up this bar I heard about... probably not your scene, but if anyone wants to check out a bear bar...”

“Maybe Saul wants to...” Max winked. “Kyle... do you want to stay for one more drink?”

“I dunno,” he smiled. “Drinking too much is bad for my gains...but I could keep you company?”

I wished Joey luck at the bar and took the subway home.

---------------

I rolled out of bed late, but it didn’t matter. I was skipping the gym – my body ached more than seemed possible. My workout with Kyle had hit me like a freight train.

I took a pain reliever and a long shower. When I got out there was a text from Max. He wanted to grab a latte before class. I wasn’t happy with him stealing Kyle the night before... but I also wanted to hear the gossip.

We met at a cafe near Max’s place. It’s one of those cute little sidewalk areas that popped up during the pandemic. Max was dressed in a pair of pink running shorts and matching high tops, along with a white t-shirt that was a size too small. I was in cargo pants and a wifebeater. I wondered what a passer-by might think.

Then I tried to remember – had I ever noticed two people at a cafe? Yeah, people probably weren’t judging us.

“So... what happened?” I asked.

“Okay... so last night after you and Joey left, Kyle and I kept drinking wine. We’re talking, having a really good conversation about the movie, and then suddenly he’s all like ‘can I kiss you?’ and then we’re making out furiously on the couch, right?”

I felt a surge of jealousy. Kyle and I should have been making out on my couch.

“That’s so hot,” I said instead of what I really felt.

“He drags me into the bedroom and throws me on the bed. And he’s like ‘do you have a condom’ and I do, so I hand it to him... and he’s like ‘put it on’.”

“So...?” I said cautiously.

“Haven’t you been watching any porn?” Max hissed. “Dude... Kyle and me are both bottoms! It’s so embarrassing – like... we made out for another hour, but the spark was gone.”

“So... why don’t you just top him?” I said, adjusting my hat.

“You looked at your reorientation paperwork, right?” Max asked. “Mine says I’m a bottom. I don’t wanna top! I wanna get fucked in the ass!”

“Wait, what? Seriously?”

“What does yours say?” Max asked. “Did you even open the email?”

I sighed and pulled out my phone. Sure enough there was an email with the results of my reorientation paperwork. According to this I was supposed to be a top.

“So?” Max asked. “Do you want a cock up your ass?”

“No,” I winced. “But I just figured everyone wants to be in control.”

“Oh my god,” Max said, rolling his eyes dramatically. “That’s such a top thing to say.”

---------------

We bumped into Joey outside the classroom. He was grinning from ear to ear, dressed in the clothes he’d worn yesterday.

“Hey bro,” I grinned. “How’s it hanging?”

“I went out last night,” he bragged, giving us a relaxed smile. “And lemme tell you, I’ve found my people. I spent a couple hours at the bar – guys kept buying me scotch. I went home with this black bear named Trevor... he’s so hot. I can’t wait for you to meet him!”

“So you’re gonna see him again?” Max teased.

“I think I’m in love,” Joey gushed. “Guys, I’m gonna hit the bars again tonight. You should come!”

“I don’t think we’re into your scene,” Max said graciously.

“C’mon,” Joey prodded. “There were plenty of twinks there last night. Twinks love daddies!”

Then the bell rang and we filed inside. Professor Spinnaker started the morning with a history lesson, talking about the hanky code. I couldn’t believe there was a time when guys like us couldn’t walk around without secret signals.

We were on our way out for lunch when the Professor pulled me aside.

“Excuse me Saul,” he said. “Would you mind following me to my office for a few minutes?”

“Sure thing bro,” I said nervously. “Is there a problem or whatever?”

“Come with me.”

We took the elevator to the top floor and walked down to a nondescript office. Spinnaker took a seat on the other side of the desk and motioned for me to sit down.

“Last night you got a phone call from your friend Jared,” he said, glancing down at a piece of paper on his desk. “He had some suspicions about the mandatory homosexuality program, so you called it in, just like you’ve been progra... just like you’ve been asked to do.”

“Okay bro,” I nodded. I barely remembered the phone call from Jared, let along what I did next. I’d definitely been thinking about Kyle.

“We checked your phone records, and given what Jared was saying... well, we had to perform an emergency makeover on him. We’re going to have him join your class for the remainder of the week, and I’d like to put him in your study group to ease the transition.”

“But bro!” I laughed. “Jared’s like... totally straight.”

“Not anymore,” Spinnaker smirked. “Jared, come on in.”

The door swung open behind me. When I turned to look I saw a gorgeous man – kind of twinky like Max, but much more muscular. I recognized his face immediately. Jared!

“Hey buddy!” Jared said, rushing inside and wrapping my in a big hug.

I held my friend at arms length and stared at him. The old Jared had been pretty boring – blue jeans and black tees, a short brown buzzcut, and a perennial scowl. But now...

Jared looked happy. Like, really happy! He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans so tight they looked like black leggings, and his t-shirt was a royal purple colour that really made his round muscle tits look amazing. He had nice capped shoulders, solid biceps, and an ass that wouldn’t quit. His buzzcut had grown out a little since the last time I saw him, and it was dyed a peroxide blond.

“We decided to make him over into a himbo twunk,” Professor Spinnaker said with a smile. “Our spa team had to work overnight to make him happen, but they’ve very pleased with the results.”

“You look... so hot,” I gushed, staring at my bro’s tight body.

“You too bud!” he cheered. “Like... they said I knew too much, and now I don’t know anything! Except for like style and fashion and stuff... they even helped me get a job at the mall!”

“No way!” Jared had been working towards his law degree, but I guess that was off the table now.

“Yes way!” he laughed. “It’s gonna be like... way less stress. Plus I get an employee discount!”

After Spinnaker finally let us go, I took him down and introduced him to the study group at lunch. Jared and Max hit it off right away. Joey was busy gushing about his new hookup, so Kyle and I played footsie under the table.

---------------

Our homework that night was practicing gay language. The five of us met at my apartment. You could tell Joey didn’t really want to be there, but whatever – he could go meet up with his new daddy later.

Kyle had a natural grasp of the language, so he was leading us in our practice.

“Fierce,” he said, reading from the sheet. “It means when something is like really, really awesome.”

“Fierce!” we all chorused. Jared glanced over at me with a big grin on his face. After a lifetime of trying to be the smartest guy in the room, he seemed happy to finally be running with our squad.

“Max, use it in a sentence,” Kyle said, picking one of us at random.

“That’s fierce as fuck!” Max said with a laugh. He had a real talent for all the new phrases we were learning. Honestly, I was jealous – Professor Spinnaker had told us that sometimes bros like me get confused easy. Jocks too, but Kyle was doing great!

“Okay... let’s try... Bye Felicia!” Kyle said, reading another line. “It means like when you don’t give a fuck about –“

He was interrupted by a knock on my door. Finally, our bubble tea was getting delivered. I hurried over to the door and found myself face-to-face with Krista.

“Saul?” she asked, staring at me. “Take off that hat, you look stupid.”

“No way babe,” I laughed. “It’s fuckin’ fierce!”

I heard the whole study group laugh and clap behind me. I guess I got that one right!

“I guess this is your... oh my god... Jared?” she asked with a shocked look. “What the fuck did you do to him?”

“Hey girl,” Jared said happily, running over and giving her a quick hug. “You wanna hang out? We’re just doing our homework, and then we’re gonna watch Legally Blonde!”

“Some of us are gonna watch Legally Blonde,” Joey corrected. “One of us is gonna get his ass pounded.”

“Oooooooh!” we all echoed automatically.

“Okay... I’m going to get out of here,” Krista said angrily. “I don’t want... we’re done, okay Saul? Just... don’t worry about it.”

She turned and stormed out the door.

“BYE FELICIA!” we all chorused.

---------------

“Here’s the thing about gay guys,” Professor Spinnaker said. He was sitting on a desk at the front of the classroom, chatting casually with a couple hundred eager students. “Gay guys – especially at your age – you’re all young, dumb, and full of cum.”

A wave of chuckled passed through our class. Up near the front someone gave a big cheer. That got another laugh from everyone.

“It’s true!” Professor Spinnaker insisted. “And it impacts a lot of things about your lives. For example, most of your thoughts are going to be about sex and men, so you won’t have the focus for a lot of jobs. A lot of you might have planned on working in an office or doing something intellectual – but those aren’t the right jobs for you anymore.”

“I’m gonna be a bartender!” shouted a muscle mary near the front.

“That’s good!” Spinnaker said approvingly. “Young gay men are best suited for frontline service jobs. Baristas, bartenders, waiters, you’d be good at any of those! All you have to do is look hot and follow simple instructions. There’s so much time to think about cock! And unlike a professional job, when you’re off shift, you’re actually off shift. That means lots of time for partying and fucking and going to the gym.”

“I don’t buy it,” I whispered to Max. “I mean... I’ve got my pro job all lined up, and bro, I’m gonna make so much money. Plus those other jobs seem super boring.”

“Maybe you just need a makeover,” Max whispered.

“What, like Kyle?”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “Anyone can get one, and like... a bunch of guys in our class got one already. Like the bartender up front – you don’t think he gained forty pounds of muscle without a makeover, do you?”

“I dunno bro,” I shrugged. “It’s not for me.”

“No pressure,” Max whispered. “But it helps a lot of guys find their purpose. Didn’t you read the email?”

There’s too much fuckin’ email.

---------------

Homework was easy that night. If you didn’t have a job lined up already, or if you just wanted to get a better job, you could go visit the job centre. I told the guys I was all set, but Max and Joey wanted to check it out. Jared went along, just to hang with Max.

“What about you?” I asked Kyle. I had a feeling the gym bunny would be next in line, but I was taking any excuse to talk with him. He was wearing a yellow stringer top and a pair of lime green shorts that drew my eye. I was desperate for him to suck me off again... and I was starting to wonder what his dick tasted like too.

“Nah bro,” Kyle shrugged. “They hooked me up during my makeover. I’m gonna be a personal trainer at my gym. I start Monday!”

“Oh shit,” I grinned. “You’ll be good at that. Maybe I’ll switch gyms.”

“You should,” Kyle nodded. “I wanna see you there bro.”

“Do you remember how long the job centre took?” I asked, glancing down at his shorts. “Like... if the other guys are gonna be a while...”

“Yeah?” Kyle said with a sly grin. “I’m thinkin’... bathroom?”

“You’ll never believe it!” Joey called out, interrupting our moment. “They totally hooked me up! I’ve got a job loading trucks, isn’t that awesome!”

“Yeah,” I sighed, wishing his awesome news had taken fifteen more minutes.

“Hell yeah,” Kyle cheered enthusiastically. “Exercise and money at the same time? That’s great!”

“Hey guys!” Max waved as he came up the hall. Him and Jared were holding hands and looking happy. “I got a job too! A busboy at the food court, so I get to work near Jared, isn’t that great?”

Kyle glanced at me and shrugged. I know we probably coulda just told them we needed a quickie, but that felt weird.

“We should celebrate!”

---------------

It was past midnight and I was hammered. With nights like this, I was starting to understand why class started at eleven.

Kyle had taken us to a drag bar near the orientation centre. It wasn’t huge, maybe fifty people if you packed it to capacity. The walls were done up with painted floral murals and the cocktails were all Judy Garland themed. I loved it.

Except for the guy who hit on Kyle. He was a big bull of a guy, at least 240 pounds and most of it was muscle. There was no way I could compete.

“Hey,” he said, confidently leaning next to Kyle at the bar. “You’ve got a great ass, you know that?”

“Hey! Thanks man!”

Then he leaned over and whispered something in Kyle’s ear. I saw Kyle’s eyes go wide and his cock went hard in his shorts. A second later Kyle was paying his bill, and before I knew it he was gone. Out the door with Mister Muscle.

“Shit,” I moaned, watching Kyle practically float out the door. “I gotta go to the gym more.”

“You okay?” Joey asked. The cub had been downing beers all night, but somehow he still seemed half-sober. One thing I’ll say about Joey – maybe he’s obsessed with Daddy cock, but he’s a really nice guy.

“I just... fuck bro, I dunno,” I said, signalling for another beer. “I just... I think maybe I caught feelings for Kyle, y’know?”

Joey laughed.

“Sorry,” he said. “It’s just... remember on the first day, when you couldn’t stand him?”

“That was before his makeover,” I said. “C’mon, he’s like... a totally different person now.”

“Yeah,” Joey shrugged. “We’ve all changed a lot.”

“I dunno bro,” I said, adjusting my cap. “I don’t think I’ve changed that much... but Kyle definitely had a glow-up.”

“So what aren’t you fucking him right now?” Joey asked. “I mean... you’re interested, you’re friends, you’re both gay... what’s the problem?”

I sipped my beer and tried to think about it. Shit... I was too drunk and horny to think...

“I just... I dunno bro, I don’t know how to make it happen, y’know?”

“Did you check the syllabus for tomorrow?” Joey asked, changing the topic. “It’s our last day of orientation.”

“No,” I said. “Don’t tell me... it’s in my email?”

“Yeah,” Joey smirked. “But don’t worry about it now. I think you’re gonna like the surprise.”

---------------

It was our last day of orientation, and I was hungover as fuck. I barely managed to throw on some board shorts and a tanktop. Thank fuck my archetype is all about that backwards cap – I needed it.

“You ready for this?” Joey asked as I thumped down in my seat.

“Ready for what?” I moaned. My mirrored sunglasses weren’t doing nearly enough to cut out the flicker of the fluorescent lights.

“Just wait...” he teased.

“Oh my god, you seriously never read emails,” Max said from my left.

“Hey guys,” Kyle said, hurrying up to our aisle just as the bell rang. He was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday. God... I just wanted to crawl under my chair.

Thankfully the lights dimmed.

“Good morning everyone,” Professor Spinnaker said, surveying the room. It was a sea of happy faces, and a few hangovers like me. “Welcome to your last day of orientation! Today we’re going to be discussing sex – how to suck, how to fuck, and how to pick up men.”

The room broke out cheering so loud, you’d think the Patriots won the Superbowl.

I glanced over at Joey.

“Told you,” he grinned. “By the time we’re done today you’re gonna know how to make it all happen, okay?”

“Make what happen?” Kyle whispered.

“Don’t worry about it,” Joey told him, patting him on the leg. “Just pay attention – you’re gonna need all of this.”

“The ideal gay guy is horny all the time,” Spinnaker said. “And obsessed with cock. That’s really your only goal in life now. Some of you might end up in long term relationships – especially if you get an older daddy or something like that –“

“That’s you!” I whispered to Joey.

“ – but most of you will be total sluts! No worries except your next fuck.” Spinnaker grinned. “It’s okay, relax into it. You’re gay! Embrace your power!”

He turned on the projector and started with a short film – Spinnaker was one of the actors, and I thought I recognized the other guy from class. If I had any doubts about anal... well, I was ready to try it now.

---------------

Our final homework wouldn’t be marked, but Spinnaker said he still expected us to do it. Our job was to hookup that night. With someone from class, with some random guy from Grindr, it didn’t matter. Everyone was gonna fuck tonight, and if you still had your V card, well, that was going away.

“Let’s go clubbing,” Kyle suggested. “Like... I wanna stop by my place and change, but there are like... a bunch of good clubs downtown. I bet we’ll get lucky there!”

“Yes!” Jared cheered. “Max and I hit up one late last night... I mean, Thursday, right? So it wasn’t busy, but I totally wanna go dancing again.”

“I’m in,” Max agreed enthusiastically. “But yeah, we gotta change first.”

“I’m out,” Joey said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I’ve got a date with Trevor. Sorry guys, I promise I’ll get fucked though.”

“Fine,” I said, rolling my eyes. After two cups of coffee and a ridiculous amount of water, I was feeling human again. “I’d like to go. I’ve never really been out dancing.”

“Bro, you’re gonna love it!” Kyle said, throwing his arm around me and squeezing tight.

I looked a Joey and we shared a thought silently. Maybe I was gonna tag Kyle’s ass, maybe I wasn’t. Whatever happened tonight, I was making my dick happy.

---------------

Jared lived closest to downtown, so we all met up at his place around nine. Needless to say, Max was already there. I wondered if they were official yet, or if they were just fucking like rabbits.

“Hey! You look .... what the fuck man?” Jared said, staring at my outfit. “We’re going clubbing bud, not fishing.”

“What’s wrong?” I said, glancing down at my clothes. I was wearing a pair of jeans with a hole in the knees and an army drab tee. I’d even mixed it up, wearing a neon blue hat that Max had picked for me during our shopping spree.

“Uh, girl, let’s drop the tea,” Max said. “You need help, desperately. That look is like... way out there.”

“And yours isn’t?” I asked. Max was wearing a white mesh t-shirt and a pair of very tight white jeans.

“Mine’s a look,” Max sighed. “You’re wearing a yard sale. Just... lose the shirt, okay babe?”

I glared at him, but I pulled it off. I felt uncomfortable. Sure, in front of the guys at the gym, or while I was having sex, but I’m not ripped like Max and Jared and Kyle.

“Fine,” I said, shirtless and annoyed. “But let me put it on for now, I’ll take it off at the club. Promise.”

“No way,” Jared grinned. “Let’s get you acclimatized! Seriously, we’re done orientation, it’s time to get over yourself.”

At least they let me keep my sunglasses. I felt a little safer behind the mirrored shades. Max claimed they were gonna look totally fierce with all the lights.

Max and I started doing shots of vodka while Jared slipped out of the room. He re-appeared wearing a pair of metallic looking briefs and army boots.

“For real?” I said. “That’s allowed, but there’s something wrong with a shirt?”

I forgot all about it when Kyle showed up. The muscular jock was dressed in nothing but a yellow jockstrap and a pair of matching high tops.

“Let’s go boys,” he said.

---------------

I did my damndest. We showed up at a club Max recommended and moved out onto the dance floor. Everyone else seemed more comfortable than me. Max and Jared started grinding it out the moment we got there. I thought Kyle and me might grab a drink, but he pulled me onto the dance floor and started shaking his ass to the music.

I’d like to say we were the centre of attention, but with so many re-orientation classes graduating, we were barely a blip. It was an effort to keep track of Kyle – he just sort of flowed through the crowd, and there were a dozen other meaty studs grooving to the beat.

I didn’t want a random stud. I wanted Kyle. Don’t ask me why... there was just something about him that drove me crazy.

He wasn’t having any trouble getting attention, but then again, neither was I. With my bare torso and backwards cap, guys were lining up to grind against me.

About an hour into the night, something started to shift.

I stared around the room, trying to catch the change. The lights? Or maybe the music was just getting faster? Something about the thumping beat was bouncing through my brain, making me shake my ass and grind my cock against the nearest bro I could find.

“Here’s the thing about gay guys,” I heard Professor Spinnaker’s voice echo through my head. It was like he was right there beside me. “You’re young, dumb, and full of cum.”

He was right about that. A week ago I’d been so caught up in my future. My career. My job... but now... bro, I just wanted to listen to my dick.

The music kept pounding through my head.

“You’re horny all the time,” Spinnaker had said. “Obsessed with cock. You’re a total slut!”

I could feel the world spinning. Hell yeah bro... he was right! I loved cock so much... and yeah, I wanted my cock in Kyle’s ass... but any ass would do, right?

The pieces kept clicking together in my mind. I grabbed a guy and started making out with him. No talking, no thinking...

I was reborn on the dance floor.

Suddenly Kyle was beside me, grabbing me by the shoulders and twisting me around to face him. His lips touched mine and electricity flew between us. Why did I wear these stupid jeans... I wanted my cock out now!

“You’re so hot...” he shouted in my ear.

I pushed him against a pillar and kissed him deeply. My tongue roamed around his mouth and my hand squeezed one of his meaty cheeks.

“I know,” I shouted, giving him a cocky grin.

---------------

We stumbled into Kyle’s apartment. We’d closed down the club, but the two of us weren’t done yet. I wanted that ass, and Kyle was ready to give it up.

“Get outta those jeans,” he ordered, pawing at my belt.

“Get to the bedroom,” I countered. “My cock, my rules, you got that?”

He nodded and turned, hurrying his muscular butt towards the bedroom. Kyle kept a messy apartment – whatever – but we were definitely gonna need to change that.

“Get on the bed,” I said, ripping down my pants. I’d worn a pair of boxers underneath my jeans. We’d have to change that too – a stud like me should be wearing a jockstrap... maybe.

“Yes sir,” Kyle said, jumping for the mattress. He stuck his ass in the air, a thin yellow strap on both sides of his enticing hole. The whole week was collapsing down in my head, forming a black hole that stopped my thoughts. All I wanted was my cock in his hole.

So that’s what I did.

“Uuuuuuuhhhhhhn...” he moaned, melting as I pushed inside of him. “Yeah.... fuckin’ yeah bro, gimme that stud cock...”

I grabbed his hips and started thrusting hard. Fuck being gentle – Kyle’s such a beast. He needs a rough fuck. Over and over I plunged the length of my cock into him. I got lost in the rhythm, watching his muscles tense and flex as he tried to keep up.

“Uh..huh...huh.... uh... huh....” he panted. “Slow down! I’m gonna... I’m...”

I flooded his ass with my cum. Maybe next time we’d slow down, but tonight... I just wanted to own him.

“Uhhhhhh!!” he screamed, losing his own load all over the sheets. He fell down as my cock popped out, smearing his chest into a pool of his own cum.

I passed out beside him.

---------------

I woke up sometime around nine. I could hear bacon sizzling in the kitchen.

“Hey,” I said, peeking my head out of the room. I was still totally naked... except for my hat. When you’re this hot, you show it off, y’know?

“Hey,” Kyle smiled. “How you feeling?”

“Oriented,” I chuckled. “Last night was... that was really great.”

“For both of us,” he grinned. “Gimme a minute, I’m almost done cooking.”

I wandered around his small apartment and chuckled at the decorations. Old political posters, an antique lawn sign, and one of those ‘don’t tread on me’ flags.

“Sorry,” he said with an embarrassed look. “I uh... I haven’t had time to redecorate this week. I barely had time to throw out my old clothes, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” I said. “My apartment is tragically straight too. We’ll have to talk to Max, he’s got such an eye for style.”

“Yeah?” Kyle said hopefully. “I mean... now that schools done, you think we’re gonna stick together?”

“Hell yeah,” I said. “You’re like... my bros.”

----------

My alarm went off a six o’clock on Monday morning.

“Mmm.... stay in bed,” Kyle murmured, half awake.

“Sorry babe,” I whispered, leaning over and kissing him on the forehead. “First day at the new job. I gotta be there by nine... and I’ve got to go home first, change into boring office clothes.”

Kyle groaned and rolled over. He needed his sleep... especially after the workout I gave him last night.

“Call me later,” he mumbled, collapsing back into a deep sleep.

----------

I hated my suit. It was so uncomfortable and stuffy. I’d always thought that suits were powerful, but it didn’t work at all with my new style. For the first time in a week, I actually had to comb my hair. Bullshit, right?

“Welcome to the financial services division,” my new boss said, walking me through a grey cubical farm. “You’ll be over here beside Devon.”

He walked me over to a small half-cube and deposited me next to a cute Indian guy, somewhere around my age. Devon pulled out his headphones and waved.

“Hi Josh,” he said to the manager. “Is this the new guy?”

“Devon started last week,” the manager chuckled. “So I guess he’s got seniority. Devon, can you walk Saul here through the way we audit a transaction log manually. Start him off with a few of the sample ones so he can get the hang of it.”

“Sure thing,” Devon said. And then the manager was gone and I was left alone with my coworker. “Alright, first things first, you’ve got your login credentials?”

It took a while before I managed to get into my computer. We were mostly waiting on hold with IT, so Devon started chatting.

“Yeah, it’ll be cool to have you here,” Devon rambled. “I heard you got picked for that gay government thing, but you seem pretty normal, huh? Was it weird, hanging out with all those freaks?”

“Uh, no,” I said, shocked at how defensive I felt. “It was fine. Everyone there was fine.”

“That’s nice of you to say,” Devon said with a shrug. “I could never fake it like that. Everyone who actually buys into it... I think they were queers all along.”

Thank god IT finally answered and reset my password.

Devon showed me a few sample spreadsheets and pointed out the telltale signs of a fraudulent transaction. He told me to start going through the samples and to ask if I had any questions. Then he plugged back in his headphones and left me alone.

It was soooooo boring. The numbers were blurring together in front of me. Who gave a shit about any of this stuff?

I wondered what Kyle was doing. Probably on his way to the gym, or maybe he went early and got his own workout finished. I bet he was wearing comfortable clothing... knowing him it was a tanktop and shorts... probably a pair of shorts that showed off his sexy quads...

“Hey dude, you okay?” Devon asked. I blinked a couple times – I guess I zoned out there for a while.

“Uh, yeah bro, I’m all good,” I said. “I’m gonna go.”

“Huh?”

I got up and stepped away from the computer.

All this shit was so boring. The suit was boring and uncomfortable. The numbers were boring and confusing. Devon was boring and homophobic.

I didn’t want to be boring. I didn’t want to be bored.

I wanted to be out with my friends, dancing or fucking or working out.

“Hey... uh, boss,” I said, knocking lightly on the managers door.

“Yes, Saul, how are things going?” he asked. I could tell he didn’t really care. That’s cool, I didn’t really care either.

“Uh... this isn’t for me,” I said. “I’m gonna quit.”

“Saul, um... with your father...” the manager started. “Look, son... you don’t need to be good at this right away. You can just show up.”

“Yeah...” I said slowly. “I... don’t wanna show up here.”

I handed him my badge and walked out of the building. My car was down in the parking lot. I took off my jacket and tie, tossing them in the back seat, and then sped out onto the highway.

It took about twenty minutes to get to the orientation centre. I pulled my car into the loading zone and hopped out.

“Hey,” I said to the twink at the front desk. “My name’s Saul Hoffman. I’d like to get a makeover.”

----------

I was waiting for Kyle when he got off shift.

“Saul, is that you bro?” he asked, staring at me. I still looked like me – I’d spent a long time checking myself out in the mirror at the spa.

“Yeah,” I grinned. “Whaddaya think bro? Totally hot, right?”

“Uh... yeah!” Kyle said, looking at me with wide eyes. I wasn’t as muscular as him, but I wasn’t supposed to be, right? I’m a gaybro, not a total muscle mary. I had overhanging square pecs, tight abs, and a big muscle butt – and I wasn't shy about showing it off now! I was wearing a pair of 5” gym shorts, some flip-flops, and my backwards hat. The sun felt good on my bronzed skin.

“Someone got a makeover,” Kyle said in a sing-song voice. “I just hope you’re still a top!”

“Yeah bro, they made sure of that,” I said, grabbing my hard cock through the thin fabric and sticking out my tongue. Kyle looked down at the outline and grinned. I was about three inches bigger than the last time we fucked. Wait til he saw my balls.

“Awesome,” Kyle laughed. “I wanna get some food, and then... we should totally fuck.”

“Totally bro,” I agreed easily. I motioned Kyle into the car and drove us to a burger place.

It only took a few minutes until we were seated with our food.

“So what brought this on?” Kyle asked, munching on a burger with three beef patties.

“Well... I was sitting at work... that dumb office job, right? And they wanted me to just stare at spreadsheets and talk to boring people and... bro, I’m young, I’m dumb, and I’m full of cum. It’s like... pretty obvious bro, I needed a new job. And since I was going to the orientation centre anyhow... makeover!”

“What’s the job?” Kyle asked. “You look like you’re ready to teach scuba diving or something.”

“Nah bro, I’m gonna work at a car shop, I’m gonna be the oil change guy! I get to wear coveralls that make my ass look amazing and this tight white t-shirt with oil stains. And on hot days... maybe I don’t wear the shirt?”

Kyle grinned.

“And the best part,” I continued. “The oil change place is like... right near your apartment.”

I felt my heart beat fast. I didn’t want to ask... but I wanted him to ask.

“Cool,” Kyle said, chewing on his second burger.

He thought for a long few seconds. My boy isn’t dumb, but sometimes he takes a minute.

“Hey bro,” he said. “I know we’re supposed to be sluts and everything but... do you wanna move in with me? Like... be my boyfriend? Don’t worry, we’ll still bring other guys home, but... I like you bro.”

I broke out into a wide grin.

“Shit bro,” I said. “I was hoping you’d ask. Hell yeah, I wanna be your boyfriend.”

“Okay,” Kyle said. “Then let’s go home and into those coveralls...”

“Oh yeah?” I grinned. “Someone needs an oil change?”