Chapter 658 - The Living Giant (VI) (Patreon)

Man, this is a good fish.

I was kinda surprised when both Long Tao and Shufen played along with my little comedy skit and let themselves be tossed like bags of potatoes, and even more surprised when they crawled back up from the lake with some twenty or so fish in tow.

They were also massive--reminded me of those special-sale tunas that were as big as a person. They weren't quite that big, but one was enough to feed a person for at least a few days. I started the flames, Lan'er fashioned some skewers, and I sat down near the fire to slowly roast them one by one.

I'd barely bit into one before the juices spilled out, and I realized I forgot something: salt.

"So, Divine Art--"

"--you want to go flying again, Tao'er?" I asked, taking a bite out of the fish and glaring at him. One good thing about being a cultivator is that I don't have to debone it.

I always liked fish, but I hated deboning so much that it led to genuinely one of the worst fights Yas and I ever had.

... hmm. It's been a while since I last remembered how much of a baby I was in my early twenties. And my late twenties. And my--

"I'm simply saying it's unfair, Master," oh, thank you so much Long Tao. If you hadn't interrupted, my thoughts would have gone to a dangerous place. "How come you didn't give me one?"

"Oh, I'm sure that with your extensive family background, you don't need Master's low-quality arts," I said.

"I wouldn't be certain. I've gotten quite forgetful in my old age."

"... your old age of seventeen?"

"Hm. My memory used to work great when I was fifteen, but it has all been downhill since."

"Indeed. I have noticed that you have gotten quite stupider over the past two years," a few spat out their bites or their drinks, especially Shufen who even choked on hers and started coughing. "It's all due to your Master's neglect. From now on, every day, you and I will work on improving it. Tao'er--what is one plus one? Come on, you can do it. Master believes in you!"

"What is one, Master? I've completely forgotten the numbers..."

"How can you know that you forgot something that you forgot?"

"By knowing not what is there, but what is not there."

"Tsk," wiseass. I sighed, leaning back and looking down at the lake. "Master nearly died from the lack of energy to unearth this long lost family heirloom, having spent a thousand years weathering the stormy seas and the scorching deserts. It might be a thousand years more before I am able to look for another one..."

Whether it was because the conversation came to a natural end, or because I uttered the stupidest set of words ever strung together, we fell to silence. I choose to believe it was the former, but needing to ignore everyone's expressions to do that was... a bit painful.

Finishing the meal, I stood up and walked over to the edge of the flattened plateau. The sun had set past the moon and the stars that weren't even there appeared in the night sky above. The kids all dispersed in various corners, whether alone or in pairs. Some were chatting, some were meditating, some were even sleeping. I could hear Naǒ caw lowly above as she made her nest atop the pavilion's roof.

At least she's not roosting in my hair any longer.

According to the map, we're some three days of somewhat casual travel away from the first mountain in Nine Heavens Mountains range, where we are to meet up with Jin Hua and Elder Qi. There's still a part of me that's reserved and wants to approach it with caution, as it could just as well be a trap. But a greater part of me wants to go and see the man who saved my life, and finally dissolve one of the lumps living in my throat.

Every death that was at least in part due to me was like another brick stacked onto the wall, and with each, I find it harder and harder to say any of the pontificating bullshit that I used to say. I fear, if the wall is fully built through my throat, I'll become another brick in the wall, as it were.

I'd been standing for some ten minutes before realizing that it had become wholly silent. Glancing back, I saw that everyone was cultivating--everyone but me. Even now, years and years into the journey, I had trouble sitting down like them. Honestly, were it not for the system, even if I had Long Tao's talent... this world would be properly fucked if it were up to me to do anything about it.

Sighing, I went back to the fading embers of the flame, cracked open a bottle of wine, leaned against the beam, and stared at the stars. It was easy enough to empty my head, but I let my thoughts ripple. I'd already experienced several lifetimes worth of events in this world, one thousandth of which would have made for the greatest memoir ever written back on Earth.

Sometimes... I truly wonder whether any of this is real. Maybe I'm actually in some ER, my brain firing off its last synapses. On darker days, the wonderment shifts, and I question whether the life on Earth was real. It never lasts for long as the idea that my life with Yas was just a figment of imagination is unbearable on a physical level.

Then again... even this life is approaching that.

Bah. I'm not a great thinker, so I shouldn't bog myself in this nonsense. Don't I have a billion things to do, eh? I have to figure out how to properly make a stable spatial pocket so I can advance my cultivation, I have to figure out how to build a multi-dimensional world that can contain all of Dao's dreg unless I want the reality itself to start collapsing within ten years, I have to figure out how to extend Rayce's life (or how to trick him into using the method I saved him from and then learn to carry that sin too on my soul), I have to help Long Tao break through into the Void Transformation Realm to complete that quest, I have to figure out how to deal with Sages, and how to deal with that alchemist on the Island as well as that disciple of his that Long Tao nearly crippled, I have to...

... can a mind run out of breath while listing things? Apparently so. Haah. Maybe I should speedrun to the Shedding Mortality Realm so I can fabricate a proper Avatar or maybe a hundred so I can split all these things with them?

I glanced back and all my thoughts ceased. They've all grown up so much... excluding those old bastards that were always old. Honestly, only Feng'er and Light even look like kids at this point. The rest look like an assortment of amazing young men and women ready to take on the world.

Haah. Why do I feel like I missed out on so many years despite basically spending every waking hour with them? I just hope... hm, I just hope that I was good enough.