CassAsks - Meryl Wilsner (and a little update from me) (Patreon)

First and foremost, a little update from me.

I have been truly... struggling for the last few weeks. Given the state of everything going on in - you know, I'm not even going to call it politics at this point? Just humanity in the US, has been so draining. It's been so incredibly difficult to turn off the anxiety and stress and feeling of being so constantly on-edge with being bombarded by "breaking news" and be able to go to the place in my mind where I can create.

It's interesting, really, because I haven't been impacted like this in my writing in... maybe, ever?

Writing just about every post, in February, has taken me 2-3x longer than it usually does. It's been really tough, especially because I want to turn off the real world for a few hours and lose myself in sapphic couples and fiction and love and happiness more than ever.

I didn't think I'd discuss this on here, because when it comes to patreon and to everyone here who supports me in writing, I just - I want to write for you, I want to share it with you, and that's what I want this place to be about.

But I also think it's good to be transparent. And if I can't be open and honest here, with people that enjoy what I do and want to connect, then where can I be? If you are stressed and struggling with everything playing out in the world right now, you are very much not alone.

No matter what is happening, though, I'm not going to let it rob me of my favorite thing. It's truly an amazing feeling to be able to come here and see what a community we have - from everywhere in the US and beyond - coming together to bond over what we love.

... sapphic women getting a little messy, a lot emotional, fucking, and falling in love :)

Anyway. Thank you all for being here, as always, and being a part of the journey for all of the couples we have in play right now. The future in romance is always bright, and will always have a perfect happily ever after.

Without delaying any more -

I was thrilled when I'd reached out to Meryl Wilsner and they responded with the affirmative that they'd like to join in on CassAsks!

1. What was your first fandom you ever joined (if you were into a fandom). Did you read fic for it? Have you ever written fic? 

I was a part of the ALIAS fandom, writing all m/f fic. But I remember being so interested in people writing Sydney/Lauren fic. Why would they do that? What did that mean? I was just interested because I didn’t understand, that was all. 

Obviously that was before I realized I was super queer! 

But yeah, I really cut my teeth as a writer within fandom communities. I unfortunately was taught the typical literary elitism that said romance was “bad” or “trashy”, so I never read romance novels growing up. Instead I read (and wrote) hundreds of thousands of romantic fanfiction. I learned how to write by reading fics by amazing authors and trying my own hand at writing them. I would not be here without fanfic. 

2. Both Mistakes Were Made and Something to Talk About feature age gap romance as a central trope. What is it about that dynamic you enjoy writing?

I like to say my favorite trope is forbidden love, because it’s kind of a cop out of having to pick one. Forbidden love can cover so many things–age gap, boss-assistant, best friend’s mom, etc! I especially love playing with power dynamics. My favorite ships have uneven power dynamics, but then the one who is supposed to have all the power is actually a total and complete mess for the other one. 

Every book I write ends up about letting yourself love and be loved, in whatever way works best for you. Age gap isn’t just we shouldn’t–it’s we’ll be judged for this and how could this ever work? It automatically throws so many wrenches into the path on the way to happily ever after. It’s fun! 

3.  What part of the writing process strikes you, first (a plot line, a single scene, the characters, etc)?

Honestly, my brain is constantly running scenarios where people are falling in love. Any activity I do, you can bet I’m also imagining a romance novel about it. The water aerobics class I took with a bunch of sixty somethings? Check. Skiing for the first time in a decade? Check. People watching–at a restaurant, the airport, anywhere? Check. So it’s more a situation that strikes me than anything. A young nonbinary person and the older water aerobics instructor trying hard to not use the term ladies anymore while addressing the class. A kids’ ski instructor and the parent of one of their students. Etc etc. 

I have an entire spreadsheet worth of ideas for potential future stories. Sometimes they’re as simple as “foster dog parent and vet”, then I add as I figure out more about the characters or setting or plot. I’m sure I won’t write every idea that’s in the spreadsheet, but once I name the characters, that’s when I know it’ll become a book eventually. 

4. In Cleat Cute, Grace and Phoebe both play soccer for the USWNT. What inspired this idea? Are you a big sports fan/is soccer your favorite sport to keep up with?

Cleat Cute began as a co-writing idea with another author. Mary Roach (author of YA thriller Better Left Buried) and I flailed back and forth at each other of the idea of two soccer teammates falling in love. It might have first come up around 2019, when the US women won their fourth World Cup. When the time came that I was ready to actually write the book, Mary was busy with a ton of other ideas, and they graciously let me run with Cleat Cute on my own. 

I do like sports, but I wouldn’t call myself a sports gay. I was really into baseball as a teenager, and yes, more recently became obsessed with women’s soccer, but for me sports are more fun as a casual fan than when your heart breaks every time you lose. 

5. What is your favorite idea that you haven’t yet written?

Gosh, this is so hard. As I said, I have a whole spreadsheet full of ideas! I don’t know that I can pick an absolute favorite, but one of the ones I love is a story that would never make it in traditional publishing. There’s a huge age gap and power dynamic, plus cheating and dubious consent, along with a bit of kink. It’s something that I’d like to explore publishing on my own, be it standard self-pub or something like releasing chapters one by one via a newsletter. But I don’t have time for it right now, so it’s just percolating in the back of my brain. 

The characters are named, though!  

6. What has your journey in publishing looked like?

I was lucky enough to be part of a mentorship program called Pitch Wars. Unpublished, unagented writers got paired with authors with more experience who helped them revise their manuscripts. My mentor, Farah Heron, taught me so much. I remember after one video call I was pacing around my apartment raving to my wife about how just this one conversation was not only going to make the book I was currently working on better, but it would improve every book I wrote from here on out. 

Pitch Wars helped me get my agent, and I was lucky enough to get a publishing deal pretty quickly. Something To Talk About was the first f/f romance in print from Berkley. It came out in May 2020, and did not completely change my life in the way I had dreamed. Nor did my publishing journey look like what I’d hoped from there on. I’ve had different agents and a canceled book and am now with a new publisher. There were some very hard times there, but I kept going. And looking back now–my journey may not have been everything I first imagined, but my life has certainly changed. I was able to quit my day job last year, and now I write queer romance full time. It’s absolutely a dream come true. 

7. What is your favorite meal?

This is like the question about my favorite idea I haven’t written yet–there are too many to choose from! The strawberry risotto recipe we learned from my Italian exchange student’s father, especially if made in the height of Michigan strawberry season. Barbecue ribs falling off the bone with cheesy potatoes and baked beans on the side. Bright red crawfish boiled with enough spices to make you sweat. 

8. Something to Talk About is rooted in Hollywood. What kind of research did you do for these characters?

For all of my books, my research involves finding someone who knows more than I do and asking them every question I can think of, even if none of the answers end up in the book. For Something to Talk About, I had gone to college with someone who was a PA for The Walking Dead. I asked her a lot about working on TV shows, and she connected me to other people who were on similar paths to one of my main characters. 

I also asked a multitude of Jewish friends about their experiences, especially around Hanukkah, as that was included in the book. I’m eternally grateful to people who are willing to deal with me asking questions about the tiniest minutiae. I have one friend who I badgered for weeks about what it was like playing basketball in high school, and then I never ended up writing that book! 

9. If you had to pick two of your main characters (from different books) to be best friends, who would they be? And who, if any, would be enemies?

I think Jo from Something to Talk About would get along well with both Erin from Mistakes Were Made and Grace from Cleat Cute. With Erin, Jo could commiserate over their younger partners, and Grace and Jo both understand what it’s like to be famous from a young age.

Cassie from Mistakes Were Made and Phoebe from Cleat Cute would also get on like gangbusters. Both are talented and successful in their respective fields, but also recognize the importance of having a good time. 

I don’t think anyone would be enemies, though Jo might only be able to handle Phoebe in small doses!

10. Who is your own personal favorite character in any of your books? 

This is like asking me to pick a favorite child!

There’s Jo Jones, who I’ll always be a little bit obsessed with. There’s Phoebe, who is probably (perhaps unfortunately) the most like me. And then there are smaller characters like Avery and Evelyn in Something to Talk About or Acacia in Mistakes Were Made or even Dallas, who is not at all a large role in Cleat Cute, but who I adore. 

11. What book got you into reading? 

I read like wildfire as a child. Reading and rereading books like Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, Mr. Popper’s Penguins, and Caddie Woodlawn. I was really into Animorphs, though I now remember absolutely nothing about the series. 

12. What book got you into reading sapphic romance?

Honestly, it was fanfic that first got me into sapphic romance. I’m only mildly embarrassed about the amount of Glee fanfic I’ve read in my life. And while I’ve seen some readers suggest Something to Talk About is Supergirl fic, it’s actually Mistakes Were Made that first began its life as a one-shot of smutty fanfic. 

As for actual books, I read one author quite a lot before realizing she always had some kind of anti-choice rhetoric in her books, so I don’t give her credit for getting me into f/f romance. Really it was reading Malinda Lo, whose books aren’t actually romance, for me to realize there was a place within traditional publishing for people who wrote exclusively stories about queer girls. 

13. If you could pick one song to epitomize your characters, what would it be? One song each, for as many characters as you’d like to answer with. 

Thank God I make playlists for my books or I feel like I would’ve read this question and forgotten every song that has ever existed.

Jo Jones: “Seventeen” by Sharon Van Etten

Emma Kaplan: “Most Girls” by Hailey Steinfeld

Cassie Klein: “space girl” by Frances Forever ft chloe moriondo

Erin Bennett: “Mistakes” by Sharon Van Etten

Grace Henderson: “Harshest Critic” by Allison Pontheir

Phoebe Matthews: “Can I Leave Me Too?” by The Greeting Committee

Ginny Holtz: “In Between” by Scotty McCreery

Elsie Hoffman: “Nobody Knows Me At All” by the Weepies

14. What is your favorite Taylor Swift song and/or lyric?

This definitely varies depending on my mood, but in general: anything I can imagine as sapphic. “Dress” is very STTA, and “Illicit Affairs” fits MWM. I have a “tis the damn season” idea in my little potential stories spreadsheet. 

15. Have you ever read a book – or fanfic – that is criminally underrated? Now is your chance to advertise it: 

Late to the Party by Kelly Quindlen! Kelly gets a ton of props for She Gets the Girl, which she absolutely deserves, but it’s Late to the Party that truly stole my heart. It’s about messy queer teenagers who are trying, and I finished it in one sitting. As a matter of fact, I finished it well past midnight and immediately started yelling on twitter about it, then woke up the next morning and yelled about it some more so more people would see my tweets. 

Also: The Last True Poets of the Sea by Julia Drake and Amelia Westlake Was Never Here by Erin Gough. 

16. What would you title your auto-biography?

This might be cheating but I simply would never write an autobiography. If someone doesn’t like a fiction book I write, I’ve reached a point where I don’t really care that much, because I like it. If I wrote an autobiography and people didn’t like it, that’s way too personal. No thank you. Will not allow myself to experience that. 

17. Do you have a favorite trope to write? Is it the same as your favorite trope to read?

As I said earlier, I really love forbidden love. People who know they shouldn’t kiss/fuck/fall for each other and yet can’t help but do it anyway. 

In general, though, I like to take a trope and twist it a bit. Instead of writing fake dating, I wrote mistaken for dating in STTA. While some readers dislike the miscommunication trope because the characters could fix things with one conversation, the way I wrote it in Cleat Cute–Grace and Phoebe have multiple conversations, but are coming into them from such different places, they manage to miscommunicate anyway.

18. Finally – where would you put these characters on this seating chart: 

Erin Bennett from Mistakes Were Made by you Jo from Something to Talk About by youAstrid Parker from Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail by Ashley Herring BlakeGrace Porter from Honey Girl by Morgan RogersAmy Chambers from The Romance Recipe by Ruby Barrett Corey LcCroix from The Edge of Glory by Rachel Spangler

                                    Grace Porter                     Erin Bennett    

Jo Jones                  Amy Chambers               Corey LeCroix

                                    Astrid Parker                   

Explain your reasoning :)

Jo gets the head of the table because duh. She’s Jo Jones. I put Astrid and Grace beside her because I think they could learn the most from her. All three of them have a habit of putting too much pressure on themselves, and I think Jo has figured that out the best of all of them and could give the other two tips. Honestly, I put Corey next to Astrid to annoy Astrid. Also because Corey would find her insanely hot. Amy and Corey are the most rambunctious of the group, and I think they’d have a great time together. As for Erin, she would like Grace because she’s a space girl, just like Cassie.