Poll Followup - redux (Patreon)

With two world cups under her belt, an Olympic gold, and seemingly on her way to a second Olympics in 2040 – fingers crossed – Abbie Dalton (29) is one of the biggest names in women’s soccer. Olly’s Lana Cyr got the scoop:

You’re known to be very private on social media! I need you to know that it was quite the hindrance in trying to get some research on you. Why is that?

Ah, you know, I wasn’t when I started out. I mean, I’ve never been huge on socials – growing up, my parents hammered the importance of digital literacy and privacy into my mind. But it became a necessity over time to really scale back. It can be very overwhelming, you know, to have all of these people feel like they know me?

It’s one thing to have someone recognize and approach me while I’m out and about. And, honestly, I’m almost always down for a little chat! But it’s a whole other story when they approach a friend or family member of mine, just because I’d posted a picture with them on my social media. Or when I get approached and someone wants to talk about my personal life rather than the game.

On one hand, I’m sorry it made digging up info on me difficult!

On the other… you’re welcome for a challenge? If you’re into that sort of thing?

Listen, I’m a journalist; I’m not not into that sort of thing. Okay, I did glean some info about you. Born and raised in the Boston area, you’re close to your parents, you’ve been playing on winning teams (no coincidence, I’m sure) since you were in high school. Tell me more!

Uh… it sounds like you got your bases covered!

I’m good at what I do. Okay: share a fun fact that no one would be able to glean from any internet stalking.

Oh, I have a great answer to this: I’m responsible for my parents falling in love and getting together (they might refute this, but don’t believe the lies)

Ohhh, that is a fun fact! What’s the story there?

So, my mom – my biological mother – actually hired my stepmom to be her divorce attorney.

The beginning to any great love story, right?

But I noticed, even at ten, that they had amazing chemistry, and played matchmaker for them. Including one very ingenious – if I do say so for my child-self – move in which I sneakily arranged to spend the weekend with my grandparents so my mom was able to go away for the weekend with my stepmom.

Not even two months later, they were officially together and in love!

I absolutely believe you were responsible for this, and will never believe anything else. Your moms, by the way, are so great – I love seeing them in the crowd at your games decked out in your jersey number, holding up their signs. Have they always been supportive of your career?

100% the most supportive parents I could have ever asked for. Maybe even TOO supportive, sometimes!

(not possible, really, but they did send little individual care packages to every single person on my team during the Olympics)

I might be a little obsessed with them. They’re still Boston-based, right? What made you choose Duke? Following that, what made you want to play in Denver?

Yeah, my family is still located in Boston – and, eventually, I have every intention of settling back there with them. One day, once I’m forced into retirement.

We all knew I was leaving for college, though, because in spite of the number of great universities in Massachusetts, there are no top D1 women’s soccer teams local. Ultimately, I went to Duke because it just felt like the right fit for me.

I spent a weekend at multiple schools that made me offers, and the team I spent the weekend with at Duke made me feel the most at-home. Like I was already a part of the team. And I guess it worked out!

As for Denver – I mean, I was drafted there! But, honestly, it’s been a great experience. Because I know you’ve done your research – the team, by the time I joined, had only been a fully-fledged team in the NWSL for six years. You know, it was still finding its footing, and there was a really special feeling, in that. I love the feeling of being a part of a team, of something bigger than myself, and – in addition to that feeling – we were shaping the very reputation of the team, in the league.

What moment did you realize you wanted to play professionally?

I don’t even think I can remember a specific moment. I’ve been playing in a league since I was ten, and I’ve always just… loved it. The older I got, the more I loved it.

And I think the best thing about it was it never felt like a job. I was really lucky in that, because my parents really let me guide how seriously I took soccer. If I treated it like a hobby I enjoyed, they would have been fine with it.

But I didn’t want to treat it like a hobby. By the time I was in high school, I was the only freshman on the varsity team, and I wanted it. The dream of playing professionally kind of took shape around the fact that playing was something I loved, something I wanted to work toward.

Since you’ve been deep into soccer since you were a kid – growing up, who was your favorite player?

Greer Kingston.

She said, with absolutely NO hesitation!

Hahaha, no. None.

I was obsessed with her, starting in high school. I actually got a ball signed by her, once, and I still – to this day – have it in my possession.

… can I ask where that soccer ball has gone with you?

Not to sound crazy, but everywhere. I even took it to my first day at my new school for luck when I was 16.

So, you didn’t keep it on a shelf in a glass case.

Ha, if only you could see the state that ball is in.

The signature is still very visible!

But yeah, it’s been through a lot. I mean, even on that first day of school, it got knocked out of my hands and rolled around on the ground.

I would absolutely love to see the state of this prized possession. Ahem – so – obsessed with Greer Kingston. Is that why you wanted to be a goalkeeper?

Oddly, no. The obsession with Greer Kingston happened after the love of being a goalie.

When I started playing, like I said it was a kid’s league. So we didn’t really have “official” positions, but I always gravitated toward the goal.

I think… there’s something about being the last line of defense that has always rang true with me. I don’t need to be scoring a goal – I’ll leave that to people much more talented at that than I am. But I’ve always been very protective and loyal to what I consider mine, and… okay, now that I’m saying this aloud, it feels weird –

No, no, go on. Protective and loyal to what you consider yours. I’m riveted. Please. Say more.

Ah… Well. You know, that applies to people I care about, of course. But I feel kind of connected to the goal.

Running around the field has always had an element of chaos to me. But in the goal, I’m calm and focused; that goal is mine. Mine to protect, to make sure nothing gets by me.

I’m sure that connection and calm is a huge part of your success. Do you have a moment in your career that you identify as your proudest?

The final save I made in my last high school game.

… high school? Are my ears playing tricks on me? Abbie, you’ve played in World Cups. In the Olympics!

And believe me, I realize it sounds crazy! It wasn’t even something I was aware of, in the moment. I didn’t know – in that game – that it would be something I look back on with so much emotion.

But I remember feeling like… this was it. This was the true start of my future.

Yes, I’d already committed to Duke, and I know, logically, that losing my high school national game wouldn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. But it felt like it did. I remember looking up and seeing my moms in the crowd. I remember my teammates running toward me, screaming about how we did it.

And I just thought: this really is it. I can do this, I can be this person.

Who doesn’t love a woman with a passion? Other than soccer, what other passions do you have?

I absolutely love to cook and even more – to bake. Ever since I was a kid, maybe even before I played soccer.

My grandmother – my mom’s mom – she loved to bake, and even though she died when I was young, I can remember baking with her. And then I can remember baking with my mom.

I love whenever there’s any get-together or party on the team, because I will be bringing dessert.

I also really like to read – for any trip, I’ll be bringing multiple books with me. It’s a great way to shut my mind off and go somewhere else.

Ohhh, fellow bibliophile – what do you like to read?

I’ll read anything, honestly! When I was young, I loved fantasy. I still do. I reread Katherine Spencer’s Aurora series a lot, especially when I’m in the mood for a comfort read. I’ve really loved Sutton Spencer’s novels, too, in the last couple of years!

But I’m at a place where I’ll read almost anything that gets recommended to me. I’ve started to get in to nonfiction, because I’m really cognizant that I am buried deep into a certain niche way of living, and I really want to see different perspectives in the world.

Remind me at the end of this that we need to swap our last best book recs. Unlike me, you love to cook and bake – so what is your favorite food to eat? Is it different from your favorite food to make?

I’m kind of a human garbage disposal, in that – as long as the food is good, I’ll eat it!

But I’ve always had a sweet tooth, which also likely factored into my love of baking. I’m a simple girl, though – I love baking cookies. They’re simple enough that I will always be able to throw a batch together and bring them somewhere, but also there is SO much variety! How can someone get bored with cookies?

… you can’t.

Okay, so you regularly have athletes kicking soccer balls at you at high speeds, you’re willing to brave the kitchen. What scares you? Do you get in your head about losing games or losing your edge, ever?

Um. You know, not very much in terms of answers like heights or spiders. And – honestly, I’m not really ever worried about losing my edge. Thankfully, I’ve never gotten the yips!

Even though I love what I do, and I want to perform well, and I will do everything I can to perform at the best of my ability – it really is, at the end of the day, just a game. I’m lucky enough to make this game my life and build a career around it, and I take it incredibly seriously. But I think once you lose perspective on the fact that… this is a game – it’s something, at the root of it all, that most people started playing and took an interest in because it was fun – that’s when you will really start to psych yourself out.

So, you know, with that perspective, I think I have the same fears as every other adult?

Fears about something bad happening to people I love. Fears about having to go on dating apps and make monotonous, meaningless conversation.

Ah… you kind of read my mind. With your privacy on socials, it was very difficult to tell if there is someone special in your life. I take it from that remark that there isn’t someone special? From what I’ve seen, that certain someone would be a woman, correct?

You are very much correct about that. About… both things.

You know I have to bring this up: you were recently featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated, and – all right, let’s be totally candid, here. You looked absolutely amazing. Would you say it’s difficult to date, given your career?

Unfortunately, ah, yeah. It’s probably the only downside, for me. Like you said, I really like to keep my private life private. Dating as a public figure and keeping things on the down-low isn’t the easiest thing.

I’m also just really busy. When we’re in season, I’m often travelling. Even when we’re training, I don’t have a ton of energy to give to a partner, given the schedule and the mental and emotional energy it takes. I feel really strongly that you should be able to give your partner a healthy amount of time and energy, and it’s hard to find that right balance when the only people I’m around super often in-season are teammates.

And I’m really not ever interested in drama or being a part of any sort of potential conflict, so dating on the team is a big no for me.

Nothing wrong with being single. In the future, though, you’d like to settle down with a partner? What are the qualities you’re looking for?

Yes, in the future, I absolutely want to settle down with a partner. I’m kind of a serial monogamist, so The Dream would be to meet someone that wants the whole white-picket-fence thing – in theory; I’m not necessarily saying we need to live in a suburb with the white picket fence. But the idea of it is nice.

Um, I don’t really have a checklist for someone I want to date.

But if a woman were to slide into your DMs – how frequently does that happen?! – what would you be looking for? Are there any immediate red flags?

Ha, I do not look at my DMs. I learned a long time ago not to go down that road.

I guess… I need to be with someone that knows what she wants in life. Someone that is honest and loyal. Someone who has a lot of passion and isn’t afraid to speak her mind. I think in our modern society with technology so prevalent, the thing I really want is for someone to be real, with herself and with me. No one is without flaws, and no relationship can last without knowing both of you really knowing the truth of one another. I don’t want an idealized version of a person; I just want to meet someone that will show me her real, true, whole self, and hope that my real, true, whole self fits with hers.

… um. You know, I think I might have gotten a little too personal? We don’t have to include all of that.

Oh, Abbie, we are going to include all of that. You’re going to be winning hearts and minds… and more – make sure you stay out of your DMs after this comes out. Unless…

Deal. I’m fearful of what might already be in there.

So that’s what scares you!

My social media DMs! What a great answer that doesn’t make me sound insane at all, and seems completely and totally normal.

And that is where we will start to wrap, because on that note: we’re having this conversation right now, due to the fact that you are far from normal! You’re extraordinarily talented. On a winning streak, Olympic hopeful for next year, and didn’t you just sign a crazy deal with Adidas?

… yes, this is all technically true. But I like to stay humble!

Great – Olly will do the bragging for you.

***

Given that one of her favorite hobbies had always been - and remained to this day - soccer, it wasn't nearly as easy to avoid Abbie Dalton as Rose would have liked.

And every time interviews and photoshoots that involved Abbie cropped up, she couldn't help but take a quick look at them. They inspired a lot of mixed feelings - so much from the past that she, nearly thirty, married, a mother, couldn't get caught up in.

But also a little sense of pride. No, she'd had absolutely nothing to do with Abbie's success in life, but... she'd really done it. She was living the dream, and she was doing it amazingly, and they didn't need to have a relationship or even be on speaking terms for Rose to be happy for her.

There was no happiness spiking inside of her right now, or echoes of wonder and what-ifs.

She scowled as she closed out of all of her apps, getting back to work after her lunch break.

What even was that, though? Who FLIRTED in an interview?!

Ridiculous. Unprofessional.

And leaving a disgustingly sour taste in the back of Rose's mouth, ruining an otherwise perfectly fine lunch break.