I Knew You Were Trouble - Part 7 (Patreon)

Yes, I did just arrive at Queers and Quills after a 3 day long train ride across the literal whole country. No, I did not get any work done on that train (I can't remember the last time I didn't write for 3-4 whole days?!).

But I got this written before I left; I'd never leave you hanging for so long!

---------IKYWT---------

Part Seven

The third time in five minutes Maya cleared her throat from across their shared office space, Autumn finally turned to look at her, exasperated.

Maya’s gaze immediately locked onto hers, and a slow smile slid across her face. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for about a decade.”

“It’s been barely five minutes.” Autumn rolled her eyes, looking back down at her laptop. “And I’ve been aware; I’ve been ignoring you.”

“And I’m aware of that,” Maya returned, amusement in her voice.

Even though Autumn didn’t look back up, she could hear how Maya’s chair rolled backwards. She could hear Maya stand from it and open her desk drawer. And then she could both here and just… sense her walking closer. Closing the distance between their desks.

Until she could feel Maya standing right next to her, half-sitting, half-leaning against Autumn’s desk.

They weren’t touching, not quite, but Maya’s proximity was enough to send a small shiver down Autumn’s spine, landing in her stomach and making her feel that much more aware. Which was becoming alarmingly frequent.

Hence why she’d been attempting to draw more of a hard line at work.

Rolling her lips tightly, steeling herself against that sensation, she tilted her head back to arch a look up at Maya. “Can I help you?”

Maya crossed one of her ankles over the over, laughter etched into her expression. “You’ve been particularly persnickety today.” She slowly tilted her head. “Is there a reason for that?”

The reason was that Autumn could smell Maya’s perfume invading her senses and she… she wanted her.

The reason was that she was becoming increasingly aware that this feverish desire for Maya was not waning in the least. She’d thought, perhaps, that given all of the time they’d started spending together with the overnights and the breakfasts and the conversations that it would happen.

That she would hit a point where this wanting would lessen for her.

That she would look across during their work day to where Maya was working at her own desk, and she wouldn’t feel this spike of heat through her. Where she wouldn’t immediately call to mind the way Maya’s eyes had looked at her the previous night, needy and begging. Where she wouldn’t be able to hear the echoes of whatever Maya had begged for the previous night.

That she’d sit in the car with Maya and Charlotte and she wouldn’t watch, hungrily, for the way Maya’s hair would fall over her collarbone as she peered down at her tablet to mark something down in Charlotte’s schedule. Watching for the reveal of whatever mark she’d inevitably left on Maya’s body most recently to come into view.

She’d been doing her damndest not to get caught up in all of this, in whatever was going on between them. Because the moment she let her mind catch up with the logistics of what they were doing, that was the moment things would become… difficult.

Autumn knew that. She knew it very well, actually.

She knew it because she’d tried to have relationships, before. In grad school, over a year after everything had fallen apart. After her old life had disintegrated. When she’d started to make peace with her sexuality.

Before she’d accepted that there was a very real chance that her lot in life was to be alone.

Because the relationships she’d tried to have… they’d failed, miserably.

Every time for the same reason – herself.

She just – she just couldn’t get there. To the right place. Emotionally, mentally.

She’d liked the women she’d been dating at all various points in time, she’d liked them a lot. She’d possibly? Thought? Maybe? That she could love them? But even then, there was this – this block. Something inside of her that couldn’t take a leap.

Despite dating those women for months, despite feeling comfortable and happy with them in many respects, she couldn’t let go.

She couldn’t tell them about her family, her life. The words could never properly come out; they still hadn’t, except to trained professionals.

And she couldn’t, really, trust them with her heart.

It had taken a bit more time, but she’d figured it out. It was because she’d loved – wholly and completely – before. She’d loved her family – her mother and her siblings, at least – with everything she had. And when it had all been ripped away from her, it destroyed something inside of her.

Not the capacity to love; she wasn’t dramatic or histrionic about it.

But the ability to form that foundation with another person. The one where you both were on the same level, and were willing to trust one another and march into the future, into the unknown.

No, that part of Autumn hadn’t been seen in years. And she’d long stopped putting out the SOS call for it.

She’d known that sleeping with Maya wasn’t the smartest idea, and yet she’d done it anyway.

Because a part of her really believed that eventually, the intensity of it would fade.

She’d never craved any of the other women she slept with the way she craved Maya.

And, in a twist she hadn’t been able to anticipate, she actually craved Maya more now than when they’d started.

It was… unfamiliar to Autumn.

So, yes. That was the fucking reason she’d been making a point of focusing on work and only work today.

But, she wasn’t going to say as much to Maya.

Instead, she slowly tilted her head back at her. “And the fact that we are about to completely shut down operations in the office for almost two weeks and that we both came into work today with a mountain of emails is not enough of a reason for me to be focused today?”

Also – that was true.

Everything was shutting down until the new year, people were leaving to go on holiday breaks with their families and loved ones, and they were slammed. It had been very easy to keep her focus and attention on work since she’d arrived at the office, because there was a lot of it.

Even so, Maya’s lips curled into a knowing smile as she hummed in a tone that said she clearly believed there was more going on, but wasn’t going to question it.

Autumn scowled at that, unsure whether she liked or disliked the feeling that curled through her stomach at the fact that Maya did know her like that.

However, they were at work. She reminded herself of that fact, clearing her throat as she asked, “Given that you’ve come over to my side of my desk, I’m going to presume you have a reason, then? And that you weren’t just clearing your throat to get my attention for some inane reason?”

“I’m never trying to get your attention for an inane reason,” Maya immediately disagreed, that knowing smile remained on her lips.

She arched an incredulous brow up at her, crossing her arms over her chest. “Oh, really? What would you call the many times you capture my attention for…” She felt her stomach tighten at just the thought of what she was going to voice. “Nonwork-related reasons?”

Like the many, many times over the last few months that Maya tried – and succeeded – in nabbing Autumn’s focus during the day for the sole purpose of teasing her, taunting her. Wanting Autumn to stare at her cleavage, at the marks Autumn left on her body.

Maya lifted a hand to rest on her chest, an offended look sliding over her face. “I certainly don’t think of those moments in time as inane.”

She cleared her throat. “I’m still waiting for the reason you’ve been trying to get my attention in the first place?”

“Right, yeah. I…” Maya hesitated, uncharacteristically however brief, before she murmured, “Uh, got you a Christmas present.”

Well, okay, that hadn’t been anything in the realm of what Autumn had anticipated from Maya today. The surprise shot through her, easily pushing aside anything else she’d been feeling, as she blinked widely up at Maya in confusion.

“You – you got me a Christmas present?” She repeated, dubiously.

Maya tapped her fingers of her hand closest to Autumn against the desk, as she nodded. “Yep,” she popped the p sound, before she lifted her other hand that Autumn hadn’t been able to see properly before, lifting a small, wrapped box. She waved it slightly in the air, before presenting it out to Autumn.

But Autumn’s arms felt like lead, and she just… stared down at the gift. Uncertainty and warmth and alarm swept through her veins, leaving her without a response.

Which clearly prompted Maya to say, “I’d planned on giving it to you last night, because I’d thought you’d maybe come over…” She paused, looking down at the gift that Autumn still had yet to take from her. “But then you didn’t come over. So, I’m giving it to you now.”

She felt herself flush, as everything inside of her pulled even tighter.

No, she hadn’t gone to Maya’s last night. Which marked the first Thursday night in a month that she hadn’t done so, so… she could understand why Maya would have thought Autumn would show up at her apartment after work.

But Autumn needed to get some semblance of control over this situation, even if it was slight. Even if it meant simply not going to Maya’s as much as she’d started getting into the habit of doing.

If Maya expected her to come over and spend the night and get ready in the morning together and have coffee together certain days of the week, that felt like far too much of a relationship to Autumn. That felt like real strings and hopes and feelings – it felt far too much like something Autumn couldn’t give Maya. Like something Autumn wasn’t sure she could give to anyone.

She swallowed tightly, clamping her hands together in her lap as she looked up at Maya, meeting her gaze steadily. “I can’t accept that.”

Maya’s eyebrows crinkled as she scoffed out a light laugh. “What, did you just break all of your fingers or something?”

But Autumn felt frozen inside as Maya presented the gift to her once more.

She couldn’t remember the last time someone had given her a gift like this. The last time someone had taken the time, pre-emptively, to think about Autumn and purchase her a gift, she’d still been a member of her family. Mrs. Ross would drop by on Christmas and give her some baked goods, usually, which was very lovely. But that was not the same as this.

She merely shook her head, clearing her throat as she deeply wished this emotional tightness would go away. “I can’t accept it, because I didn’t get anything for you. So…” She trailed off, pursing her lips up at Maya as she offered the best explanation she could.

Which, while not the whole truth, still was true. She hadn’t bought anything for Maya; hadn’t even thought to buy something for Maya.

It had been just as long since Autumn bought holiday gifts for anyone as it had been since she’d received them.

Even so, as she looked into Maya’s eyes, at the sweet expression on her face, she felt a hard dig of guilt inside.

Which – no.

Straightening her spine, she walled that feeling away. She hadn’t done anything wrong; she and Maya hadn’t discussed exchanging gifts. They weren’t in a relationship. She shouldn’t feel any type of negative, shameful feeling about this.

Rather than take the gift back, Maya reached out and put it on Autumn’s desk, right in front of her laptop. “Okay? I’m not expecting a gift in return. Actually, I think that if you only buy someone a gift because you believe they’re buying you something, it kind of defeats the whole idea behind giving a gift, right? Like, the whole point is to give someone something because you’re thinking of them. If you expect them to give you something back, it really turns the entire endeavor into something pretty selfish.”

Autumn didn’t disagree. Not at all.

Yet, the way Maya said it – so simply, like Autumn was being silly for using that as a reason not to accept the gift – made Autumn both deeply appreciate her and made her wish she had gotten Maya something. Just something… small. Something she’d give Maya as a friendly coworker, even if they weren’t fucking.

Her gaze trailed down, landing on the gift once more.

She couldn’t deny that there was this feeling inside of her, something bright and flickering, that wanted to take it. Wanted to accept it. Wanted, desperately, to see what was in the first gift that someone had thought to give her in years.

Before she could shake her head and pull herself out of those thoughts, before she could hand the box back to Maya, Maya stopped her, and firmly tapped her finger on the top of the box.

“I’m telling you right now that I’m not taking this gift with me when I leave here in–” She flicked her gaze down to her watch, “– ten minutes.”

Ah, yes. Maya was leaving to go to Philly to be with her family. For the next eleven days.

Which, admittedly, had been another reason Autumn hadn’t gone to see her last night. Because Maya was leaving, to go and see her loving, supportive, warm family, and Autumn wouldn’t see her for nearly two weeks.

The fact that that realization yesterday had made her stomach twist uncomfortably and had made her just plain… sad, had been a big factor into Autumn resolutely holding herself back, too.

“So,” Maya continued, letting out a lofty sigh as she ran her hand through her hair. “Either you accept it or it goes in the trash.”

Autumn rolled her eyes at the dramatics.

“Look, this really is a no-strings-attached gift. I even gave the guy at the coffee card a holiday card this morning,” Maya informed her. “Call me Santa Claus.”

“I’d rather not.”

“I’d rather you call me other things, too,” Maya murmured, the words full of intent.

And at the way her tone dipped, it made Autumn automatically regret not having gone over last night. Because she’d exerted control over herself, she’d lost out on fucking Maya, on telling Maya how good she was for her, for nearly two weeks.

“Alas,” Maya’s voice returned to normal, “Opening the gift or not is your prerogative. If you choose not to, you won’t be able to see the lewd keychain I bought you from the weird kiosk guy at the mall, but that’s your choice.”

Autumn couldn’t help the ludicrous laugh that bubbled up in her throat. “You did not.”

The smile that tugged at Maya’s lips was entirely too appealing. “Maybe, maybe not. Like I said – it’s your choice to see.”

She tapped her fingers lightly against the desk, staring at Autumn in a way that made her stomach twist and her heart beat a little faster. Like she was thinking about kissing Autumn, but knew she shouldn’t.

Autumn felt her own lips tingle in response.

She could see the way Maya swallowed, heavily, before pushing herself up from the desk. “Yeah, so. I’m going to go to the bathroom before I head out.”

Autumn trailed Maya with her eyes as she walked out into the hall, unable to make herself not.

And then her gaze fell back to the gift.

She supposed she was relieved that Charlotte was currently out of office for the next hour, attending her last meeting of the year. She’d informed Autumn that she could continue on with her admin work rather than accompany her, as “we’re not going to get anything meaningful accomplished today,” Charlotte had muttered with an eyeroll.

But she didn’t need Charlotte to see her reaction – whatever it may be.

She glanced out to the hall, again. Nothing and no one there. In fact, most of the other staffers had already left, so she really was safe.

Rolling her lips, she decided she just needed to… to do it, rather than get caught up in what the gift did or did not mean.

Even so, she took her time unwrapping the gift as to not tear through the wrapping paper. She’d always liked to take her time unwrapping her presents, finding that it built her anticipation.

And the same feeling – one she hadn’t felt in so long – built inside of her, now.

The box underneath was dark and simple, waiting to be flipped open. Before she did so, she felt that buzz of thrilled anticipation climb higher and higher.

There was no way it was actually a lewd keychain, right?

Granted, she supposed Maya might genuinely find it funny, so… who knew? Autumn certainly couldn’t predict Maya’s actions. If she could, they’d likely have never found themselves embroiled in this situation, would they?

When she flipped the box open, she couldn’t help the gasp that escaped her.

Not a keychain, lewd or otherwise.

Not even close.

Instead, there was a necklace. A thin, delicate, gold chain wove down toward the pendant in the center. It was a simple, small circle with an intricate pattern etched into the surface, and… was it a locket?

Autumn looked closer to see that it was, indeed, even though it was so slim, it could almost be overlooked.

And it was beautiful.

By far the most beautiful thing she’d been given maybe ever. Definitely ever.

She swallowed tightly, feeling how hard her heart was pounding, wondering if she might have preferred the lewd keychain.

Yes, she would have, actually.

She’d have preferred to see a stupid, ridiculous keychain, so that when Maya returned from the bathroom, she could roll her eyes and they could joke about it, and be done with it all.

This –

“Oh, you opened it. I actually thought it would take you longer,” Maya’s voice came from the doorway as she slipped back into their office, closing the door gently behind her. Her tone was slightly teasing, but also genuinely surprised.

Autumn couldn’t quite manage words in the moment, so she simply glanced up at her, setting her jaw tightly.

Why? Why did Maya do things like this? Like how she’d purchased Autumn’s preferred shampoo and conditioner when she’d started staying over.

Maya didn’t tease her again, though, as she stood, paused, in the middle of the room. Like she was unsure if she should return immediately to her own side or not.

“I…” Maya cleared her throat, offering Autumn a shrug and a sweet, uncertain smile. “I’ve noticed for a long time – since I started, honestly – that when you’re thinking something through, you’ll reach up to your chest like this.”

Maya imitated the motion she claimed Autumn did, bringing her hand up to the center of her own chest, and curling it into a fist, her thumb gently rubbing over her index finger.

“Kind of like, uh, I don’t know? Like you’re used to holding something there? A different necklace or something, maybe?” She guessed.

Accurately.

Because Autumn used to do that all of the time when she’d been younger. Reaching up to grasp at her cross, gently rubbing it between her thumb and her finger, every time she was uncertain or upset or just trying to think. She’d done so until it had no longer brought her comfort, but instead had felt like an anchor.

She hadn’t even realized she still did the motion, though, and… she didn’t know how to feel about that.

She definitely didn’t know how to feel about Maya. The fact that Maya noticed.

The fact that Maya had taken note of it and thought about it enough to give Autumn something like this.

Maya interlocked her fingers in front of her, rocking back and forth on her feet. “I really won’t be offended if you don’t like it or never wear it – seriously. I just saw it and thought of you. At first, I didn’t even realize it opened, but then it seemed even more perfect for you. A place for you to lock all of your secrets.”

There was a hesitant laugh that crept into her tone as she spoke, and…

Autumn tightly closed her eyes, taking a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth, and only then did she realize –

She’d reached her hand up to do the thing Maya just claimed she did.

Quickly, she dropped her hand back into her lap.

“Maya, I…” The words to finish the sentence couldn’t escape because whatever they might be, Autumn didn’t really even know right now.

It was all – Maya was so –

“Thank you,” she managed, primly, her throat still so tight with unspoken and unexpressed emotion. She dropped her gaze back to the necklace, intending to look right back up at Maya only she was unable to. Her attention was fixed.

“That’s what the season is about, right?” Maya returned, her voice that easy, cajoling, warm tone she so easily called upon. “Best thing about gift-giving holidays is that it gives me a reason to actually buy the things I see when they remind me of people.”

For Autumn, throughout most of her adulthood, Maya’s reasoning about why she loved gift-giving holidays was the reason she didn’t care for them. The reason she actively tried not to think about them.

Sometimes, she’d see items in stores or online, and it would make her think of Honor and Haven.

And then she’d think – she had no idea what they would enjoy for gifts, now. The things that made her think about them were all based around their hobbies and fixations from when they’d been eight. Now, they were sixteen, turning seventeen in a handful of months. Honor had been obsessed with animals since she’d been a toddler, though their parents would never let them have pets. Haven had been obsessed with playing piano.

Playing an instrument was something they’d all had in common, per their parents’ rules. But no one played as well as Haven had, even at a young age.

Clearing her throat, she shook her head and shook herself out of that part of her mind.

There was a reason she didn’t like to even give any thoughts about giving gifts. And it had worked well for her for the last eight years, because she hadn’t had anyone to give a gift to, anyway.

And yet…

Autumn lightly traced her finger over the lip of the jewelry box as she looked across the room to Maya.

And yet, there was Maya.

Who was leaning over her desk chair rather than having sat back down in it, her eyebrows slightly furrowed as her fingers quickly danced over the keyboard, then hummed softly as she finished whatever she was doing, and Autumn could see the light of the monitor fade, as Maya clearly shut her computer down.

She then pivoted to start packing up her belongings into her bag, obviously getting ready to leave. Imminently.

As she watched Maya prepare to go, she felt…

She felt a lot.

Heavy, serious emotions that she couldn’t give words to and wouldn’t voice.

But even more than that, she immediately, viscerally felt regret.

Why hadn’t she gone over to Maya’s last night?

Why had she denied them both one night before Maya went home for the duration of their break?

What, really, was one extra night in the grand scheme of things? All so Autumn could prove to herself that she was in control?

Who was she kidding herself, anyway? This – what was going on between herself and Maya – had nothing to do with Autumn feeling in control, and it hadn’t in quite some time, if it ever had.

Sexually, she was.

But personally, emotionally – obviously not.

And if she’d gone over to Maya’s last night, she could have had a night together to hold them over until Maya came back. A night where Autumn knew – she just knew – she’d maybe have gotten a little more out of control than usual, especially if Maya had given her this gift, first.

Maybe she would have left Maya with multiple marks, something for her to think about while they weren’t together.

The thought made heat slide right through her, and she bit at the inside of her cheek.

She would have had the clearest, freshest vision of Maya’s body in her mind, would have known what bra she was wearing underneath her shirt right now.

Her shirt that was unbuttoned just enough to give Autumn a tantalizing view from across the room, but not enough that was lascivious in any way. Which, frustratingly, made sense, given that Charlotte had only left for her meeting fifteen minutes ago, and Maya was now getting ready to leave.

And Autumn…

She couldn’t let Maya go, yet. Not like this. Without touching her again, without hearing the sounds she made when she came. Without feeling Maya come apart against her fingers.

She snapped her gaze to check the time – yes, they still had at least twenty minutes before the earliest Charlotte would come back.

And that was all she needed to know.

“Maya,” she breathed, pushing herself to stand up, before gesturing to the coat closet. “I need you to come over here.”

Maya frowned at her, pausing where she stood with her half-packed bag in her hands.

“Look, Autumn, I really didn’t mean the gift as some sort of gotcha, and I definitely didn’t mean to upset you in some way. I’m really sorry if it did? I seriously don’t want you to pull me into the coat closet to air grievances over this.”

Autumn grit her teeth, tilting her head toward the closet door that she still held open. Waiting for Maya to acquiesce.

She let out a long sigh, put her bag down, and walked across the room. As she passed Autumn, she aimed an aggrieved look at her – before stepping into the closet.

The thing was, Autumn could see why Maya might think that. The only reason they’d gone into the coat closet was to hash out frustrations with one another. Verbally.

“I’m telling you that I don’t expect anything in return. I really wasn’t trying to dig anything up for you. And I think I’ve done a pretty good job of reading the room today?” Maya listed off, as she turned to face Autumn, nestled in to the closet.

She promptly stepped in, snapping the door shut behind her.

“I’m not going to air any grievances,” was all she said, before she reached out and tunneled her hands into Maya’s hair.

She cupped the back of Maya’s head, using her touch to tilt Maya’s face up to hers as she ducked down. Maya’s mouth opened with a surprised exhale just as they made contact, and Autumn swallowed the sound.

Immediately, she felt Maya’s hands come up to grip Autumn’s hips tightly, digging in, as she strained up against Autumn.

Yes, Autumn could admit when she’d made a mistake, and not going to Maya’s last night, missing out on another night of this had been a mistake.

But she could right that wrong.

She stepped even closer, leaving no space between them, as she pushed Maya firmly up against the wall, and she shuddered when she felt the entire length of Maya’s body against her.

Using the grip she still had in Maya’s hair, she tugged firmly, pulling Maya’s head back, forcing their kiss to break.

“Jesus. Fuck,” Maya groaned out, her hips rolling into Autumn’s.

She pushed her own hips forward, harder, pinning Maya where she stood, moving her mouth to Maya’s neck. She could feel the jack-hammering of Maya’s pulse under her lips, and she planted an open-mouthed kiss right there against it.

She knew all of Maya’s hair and skin care products, knew the laundry detergent she washed her sheets with, knew every little thing that went into Maya’s routines.

And yet here, the soft, warm skin of her throat always tasted like something just… Maya.

Autumn often found herself craving it, now.

So she didn’t deny herself. It would, after all, be the last time she’d have Maya like this for nearly two weeks.

And with that thought in mind, as she reached the base of her throat, she opened her mouth and sunk her teeth in. Just enough to feel Maya jerk against her, to drag the keening sound from the back of Maya’s throat.

“God,” Maya panted, rocking against Autumn insistently, even as she lifted her hands and pressed against Autumn’s shoulders. She didn’t push, but the contact was just enough to make her pause where she stood, as Maya shook her head, like she was trying to regain control over her thoughts. “Autumn, I – fuck – what – you didn’t come over last night and now – at work?”

Her breathing was shaky, the arousal thrumming through her veins, as she lifted her head to look at Maya.

Whose hair was mussed, and her lips were still damp from Autumn’s, and there was color high in her cheeks, and it made Autumn’s clit pulse.

Maya always looked so… wrecked for her. So easily.

There was something so heady, so deliciously sexy in it. Something addictive – obviously, since Autumn hadn’t been able to walk away for months.

“I… should have come over last night,” she breathed out, and she couldn’t – wouldn’t – delve farther into that. It was the only explanation she could offer. “But I want you.” She swallowed hard, sliding her fingers down the other side of Maya’s neck, greedily watching the goosebumps form there. “I want to make you come for me, even if we’re here.”

Maya’s lips opened on a tremulous exhale, her eyes widening in clear surprise, and damn if Autumn didn’t know why.

She did, and the truth of it was something she was sure she’d think about later.

No, they weren’t supposed to do this at work. Yes, it had been her own insistence.

But she didn’t care about that right now.

She continued trailing her hand down Maya’s body, feeling all of her curves through her thin, cotton shirt, until she reached the waist of her pants, and she tucked her fingertips into them.

But she didn’t go any farther. She held Maya’s gaze, and waited.

“I... uh, I have to leave soon. Like. In five minutes. Or I’ll be super late to Poppy’s winter concert.”

A slow, sly grin slid over Autumn’s face, and she arched an eyebrow at Maya, her voice dipping, “Do you really think I won’t be able to make you come in under five minutes?”

It was a dark, visceral satisfaction that gripped her, then. The knowledge of just how fast and hard she knew she could make Maya come.

She worked her fingers slowly over to the button of Maya’s pants, popping it open.

And she shuddered as she felt Maya’s hot, heavy exhale wash over her heated skin.

“Do you think – at this point – I don’t know exactly how to touch you?” She asked, leaning in closer.

Closer still, as she tugged Maya’s zipper down, feeling how Maya spread her legs for her.

Close enough that there were mere centimeters between their lips, but she didn’t kiss her again. Not yet. Instead, she held herself right there, every nerve ending tingling, demanding more, demanding contact.

Slowly, she worked her hand between Maya’s thighs, but not underneath the lacy underwear she wore. Firmly pressing her fingers against Maya’s pussy through the wet fabric.

Their labored breaths mingled, and Maya dipped her head forward, brushing her lips just barely over Autumn’s. She could feel the tight grip of Maya’s hands against her hips, and had a feeling she might have her own mark from Maya after this.

It wasn’t something Autumn ever typically wanted; there was something in the soft, reverent way Maya touched her with that set off her every aching need.

But right now, in this moment, she liked it.

“Fuck,” Maya breathed out, pressing herself down against Autumn as hard as she could, trying to establish a rhythm.

Autumn gently slid their lips together in not-quite-a-kiss, but not quite anything else she had a word for, either. The soft sensation of it made her lips tingle, and they both shivered.

She firmly pressed the heel of her hand up, feeling Maya’s hard clit press against her, and Maya let out a long, guttural groan.

“I said – do you not think I know how to touch you?” She repeated, rocking her hand against Maya, now.

“I – I didn’t s-say that,” Maya managed back.

Autumn stopped her movements. “Oh? Huh. Because I thought by you telling me we were on a time limit–”

“We are,” Maya hissed back, her breath catching in her throat. Every time she spoke, her lips rubbed against Autumn’s in that way that was really driving her insane.

“Then look at me, look me in the eye, and admit that you know I could make you come in a fucking minute,” Autumn ordered, stilling every muscle as she waited for Maya to do just that.

And – for some wild, indelible reason – Autumn needed to hear Maya say it, too.

They both knew it was true.

But she… she needed it.

Maya’s pupils were blown as she lifted her head and locked her eyes on Autumn’s from only inches away. “I know you–” she squeezed her eyes closed, a whimper that went right to Autumn’s fucking clit escaping her, before she blinked them open again, “ – know exactly how to make me come.”

“Good girl,” she breathed back, immediately tugging Maya’s underwear aside so she could really touch her.

She could’ve made Maya come through the thin, lacy fabric. She knew she could have.

But that wasn’t what she wanted.

She wanted to feel her fingers coated in Maya’s wetness, to feel the heat of her pussy. And she did just that, dipping her fingertips into Maya’s slit, before quickly working them over her clit.

She wished she did have more time. Not because she needed it, but because she liked to take her time with Maya. To draw things out. To make her beg.

But they were on a time limit, and she would make Maya come all over her hand before she left here.

She worked her fingers over Maya’s hard, throbbing clit, quickly drawing hard circles around her.

Maya’s head dropped back as she released a throaty, relieved moan, which sounded like music to Autumn’s ears.

Until she remembered exactly where they were, and she quickly reached up to press her hand over Maya’s lips. And that sensation, the wet press of that soft skin against her palm, made Autumn clench in need.

She pressed her hand down firmly, making sure to muffle every possible sound that escaped Maya, as she circled her clit even faster. Harder.

And she leaned in, pressing her lips against the shell of Maya’s ear, panting out, “You’d better come for me, Maya. Do it now.”

The sound Maya emitted vibrated against Autumn’s hand as she rocked her hips hard down against her touch, and her body shuddered.

She pressed herself entirely against Maya, feeling every shiver, every tremble, relishing in it.

Finally, when all of the tension fled from Maya’s body, Autumn slowly slid her hand out of her underwear, fixing it back into place. And still without moving away from Maya, she re-did her pants, tugging them back into place.

“There–”

Her breezy comment was cut off entirely, as Maya surged up against her and kissed her once more.

Demanding and deep, her tongue sliding against Autumn’s, searching.

And her hands, Autumn belated realized, had undone Autumn’s pants as well.

She hadn’t expected it, and she hadn’t asked for it, which was the usual basis of how their sex life went. After she made Maya come, she’d initiate touching herself or would tell Maya how she wanted to be touched.

It wasn’t something she’d always want, but right now – right now, she did.

She spread her legs just enough just as Maya’s fervent touch slid into her underwear, and then down, brushing over her clit.

Maya didn’t use her hand to quiet Autumn, though, she used her mouth.

The kiss gentled, just like her touch did against Autumn.

Even now, in this heated, feverish moment, Maya’s touch was exactly what Autumn liked. The light pressure, the small circles working over her clit, and it was exactly right.

God, Maya. She couldn’t say it, but she thought it, and she whimpered into Maya’s mouth as she reached up and gripped her shoulders, as her own orgasm worked through her.

Swiftly and quickly – so quickly, Autumn hadn’t even prepared for it.

She felt her thigh tremble, the pleasure washing over her, as she released stilted gasps against Maya’s lips.

And finally, when it was all over, she dropped her hands from Maya’s shoulders, as Maya leaned a few inches back, whispering, “I can make you come just as quickly, too.”

Autumn tightly closed her eyes for a beat, silently having to acknowledge that was undeniably true.

Even as she was still shivering, coming down from the orgasm, she glanced down and, “You couldn’t return the favor and do up my pants?” She asked.

But she couldn’t summon any acidity to her tone in this moment.

Especially not when she froze in place re-buttoning her pants, watching as Maya sucked her wet fingers into her own mouth.

… touché, Maya Lindsay.

Maya hummed softly, dragging her fingers back out slowly. “Hmm no, sorry. Didn’t want to get them wet.”

“Hmm,” was all Autumn managed back, quickly trying to work her clothing back into place.

It was dawning on her now, now that the moment was over, exactly what she’d done.

Caught up in the necklace, in Maya’s explanation of the necklace, in the knowledge that she wouldn’t see Maya for… well, the longest she’d ever not seen Maya – she hadn’t really let herself think about this.

But now, she was.

They’d fucked in the coat closet. At work.

God.

It didn’t matter that most of their colleagues had left, that Charlotte wasn’t here. Those were semantics.

What was wrong with her?!

She glanced at Maya, that suffocating, wary feeling gripping her tightly, not letting go. That – she – was what was wrong with her. And, most days, also the thing/person that was the most right with her.

Her movements were quick and sharp as she tried to put herself back together in the limited space they had.

Maya didn’t mirror her movements, clearly not feeling the same concern that Autumn was. Rather, she was merely using her dry hand to slightly re-tousle her hair and smooth over her shirt. Like she didn’t have a care in how she look, all freshly-fucked. Like she didn’t have a care at all about their actions.

And she shouldn’t; she was leaving. Even if she wasn’t, Maya probably wouldn’t care. Autumn didn’t know if she hated or enjoyed that aspect of her – terrifying, because three months ago she knew she’d have hated it far more.

Regardless, Autumn would be the one facing Charlotte when she got back.

The smile on Maya’s face said that she knew exactly what Autumn was thinking.

Huffing out a breath, she reached out and opened the door. Quickly, she peered out to make sure Charlotte wasn’t back – she, thankfully, wasn’t – before stepping out.

As she walked to her desk and used her hand sanitizer – it would do until she got to the bathroom to properly wash her hands in a few minutes – she flicked her gaze to Maya.

Who strolled out of that closet, her limbs loose and satisfied and gorgeous, and…

She couldn’t even hold it against her. Because it had been Autumn who’d initiated.

Maya cleared her throat as she also used hand sanitizer, and crossed over to her side of the office. She finished packing up her bag, as she cleared her throat and asked, “So… what are your plans for break? Doing anything for Christmas?”

Her tone was light and clearly… questing. Like she knew she might be walking a fine line.

Autumn pursed her lips, shrugging. “I’m going to the Christmas Eve brunch with Charlotte.”

“A riveting, heart-warming, festive time,” Maya dryly shot back, as she tugged the straps of her bag over her shoulders.

She watched as Maya rounded her desk, walking back over toward Autumn. Rather than that wry, teasing look from only seconds ago, her expression had drifted into something more serious. Something hesitant.

And Autumn crossed her arms pre-emptively, immediately unsure of whatever was going to come out of Maya’s mouth.

But this entire last half hour with Maya had been a rollercoaster, so she couldn’t predict what could possibly be –

“Um… you can always come over to my family’s. For Christmas,” Maya tacked on, searching Autumn’s gaze with her own, looking so earnest.

She felt everything inside of her freeze and tighten, her stomach dropping to the floor.

Which made Maya scoff out a mirthless laugh, reaching up to rub her fingers over her eyes. “I mean, I’m not shocked by the terror in your eyes. But it’s – it wouldn’t have to be, like, serious. I mean, you could come over as a… friend,” she settled on, searching Autumn’s eyes with her own.

Autumn was the one to huff out a mirthless laugh, now. “Just a friend? And that would be possible after having met your sister… how?”

Autumn was proud of herself for how she’d handled the entire Gwen-meeting.

She’d been shocked to see the kids, but so very pleased. She hadn’t been around children in so long, and it was… it was a part of her. She’d honestly never minded or resented being the oldest sister, because she did enjoy it.

But with the kids, came Maya’s sister.

She’d done her best not to freeze up or anything – after all, she wasn’t an idiot. She knew, as she’d said to Maya that day, that Maya’s family had likely known about them for quite some time. Because Maya was close to her family. She told them things. Maya’s family wanted to know all of these things about her life.

And Autumn…

She’d stayed that day for as long as she could. Making conversation with Gwen for literally as long as she possibly could. She’d stayed for several reasons – first, as she’d told Maya, she wasn’t going to act like some uncivilized weirdo that couldn’t make simple conversation with another adult.

It would not only look terrible for herself, but also – what would that say about Maya? To her family, to these people that so clearly loved her and wanted good things for her. What would it say about her and how would they react if Autumn couldn’t even manage a ten minute conversation with Gwen?

More than her own image, she didn’t want that for Maya. For Maya to feel embarrassed or feel like she had to explain anything – explain Autumn.

And she really… she really didn’t want Maya to potentially take a closer look at what they were doing, either. She didn’t want Maya to push for anything, even when they both knew that whatever they were doing wasn’t strictly casual, anymore.

But Autumn needed it to remain undiscussed.

That morning was very different from going to Maya’s for a holiday, though. For once – and most importantly – she wouldn’t be able to hightail it back home so easily.

Plus, everyone there, as she was saying, would make assumptions, if not outright assert that she and Maya were together. Girlfriends, partners, something.

And, no. No, no. That thought made every atom of her body freeze up inside.  

Maya shrugged, her eyes big and soft. “I’m just – I hate the idea of you spending Christmas the way you were on Thanksgiving. And not…” She paused, rolling her lips before she finished that thought. “Just because I care about you. You are a person I care about, and my family isn’t like, exclusive. My parents’ house has always been the place where people congregate. Neighbors drop by all of the time. Extended family. People my parents work with.” At that, she sent Autumn a small, cajoling smile. “It’s not some big thing. It wouldn’t have to be. If you wanted to come.”

Even though she got the feeling that Maya was telling her the truth, that the Lindsay family holiday celebrations were casual, it didn’t change the alarm bells in the back of her mind.

Sure, if she could remove all of the context: the idea of spending the holidays with Maya, even with her family who all seemed pretty welcoming and kind – was such a better prospect that being on her own.

The silent loneliness on Christmas would be painful; it always was.

But…

She pursed her lips, offering a shrug. “I’ve already committed to the Christmas Eve brunch with Charlotte,” she repeated, firmly. “I don’t think it really makes logistical sense. But I’m sure you’ll regale me about all of the loud, boisterous, chaotic experiences you’ll inevitably have.”

The dry, teasing rebuff in her tone was clear – to Autumn – that the conversation was closed. She hoped that Maya would pick up on it as well.

And, she did.

Her lips curled into an unreadable smile – something Autumn did not like seeing from Maya. She much preferred when Maya was so easily transparent to her.

If she had to make a supposition, she’d guess at what Maya was thinking or feeling, she’d guess that it was some combination of understanding, disappointment, acceptance, and pity.

But she didn’t want to make suppositions. She didn’t want to look that closely at all.

“Well,” Maya finally said, reaching up and grasping at the straps of the bag over her shoulder. “The invitation is open. Like I said, it’s not some formal event – if you want, you can just show up. But,” she motioned like she was zipping her lips with her free hand. “I’ll stop. And… I guess I’ll see you when I see you.”

In eleven days, Autumn’s mind supplied, unhelpfully. Alarmingly glumly.

“I’ll see you,” she murmured back.

And she watched where Maya disappeared through the doors for far, far longer than she should have.

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