Knowing the Score - 2 (Patreon)

There really is something so incredibly fun about writing young Rose...

Next time you see Rose (in this story, not The Game Changer of course), she'll be going to The Sleepover ^tm

-------Knowing the Score--------

Part Two

By the end of their first practice, Rose was seething.

Because everyone was thrilled. Everyone was celebrating. Her whole team was so fucking gleeful, and at the center of it all was Abbie Dalton.

And the very thing that made everyone sooo happy was the thing that was burning Rose up inside.

Abbie was good.

No. Abbie was great.

Even just playing with her today, Rose could see that.

And there she stood, with that stupidly bright smile on her face, waving away compliments and laughing with the girls on the team who were all singing her praises.

Rose scowled as she bent down and snatched up one of the cones they’d used for drills at the beginning of practice. As one of the newly appointed captains, Coach Dru had bestowed the responsibility of organizing after the first practice.

She was nearly done.

All she had to do was gather some items over on the area of the field near the goal, which she’d been avoiding as Abbie was receiving her praise like she was the Queen of England.

Huffing out a breath, she turned around –

Only to startle back, her heart pounding in her chest, as she came face-to-face with those sunny blue eyes. “God! Why would you sneak up on me like that?” She snapped, holding her hand over her chest.

Abbie’s face was guileless, and she winced in apology. Oh, so fucking sincere, wasn’t she?

“Sorry. I figured I’d bring these over for you,” Abbie said, and for the first time, Rose glanced down.

Where Abbie was holding a small stack of cones, as well as one of the stray soccer balls that had been kicked behind the goal.

Rose grit her teeth, and held out the bag she was using to collect everything.

Abbie dutifully dropped everything inside, before she gave Rose a long, considering look. A look that had Rose’s stomach in knots, instantly. What was she trying to see? Why –

“You’re really good,” Abbie’s tone was so sweet, it immediately set Rose right on edge.

Well, she’d already been teetering there, hadn’t she?

“I wasn’t sure about coming here,” Abbie continued, a smile flashing across her face once more, as she shrugged. “But… yeah, playing on this team is already incredible. I knew from some of the summer practices, but you weren’t there. So, being able to play with the whole team – with you – today, was great. You were great.”

She was trying to offer Rose an olive branch, she wasn’t an idiot. She could see that.

Still, she was burning inside, and she pursed her lips. “I know.”

And – she did know she was great. She didn’t need Abbie’s affirmation.

Abbie rolled her eyes, hard. “Oh my god. I’m trying to be nice. We’re going to be on the same team. We’re going to work together.”

“And?”

“And – I don’t know! Wouldn’t you rather start with a fresh slate than… whatever you have against me for no reason?” She pushed, tossing her arms out around them.

It sure as hell was not for no reason, and it didn’t matter that Abbie didn’t know the reason. Rose wasn’t about to fucking tell her about Circle of Mercy; even the thought of that place made her nauseas. Abbie looking so… so pretty with the sunlight streaming through her hair, and her gay moms and she was so good, she was better than Tessa, and that was a whole other thing – yeah. There was a damn good reason.

She merely arched an eyebrow up at Abbie, and shrugged, before bending down to grab her water bottle.

Abbie groaned. “You know, a good way to respond to my comment to you would be: thanks or Abbie, you’re actually pretty good yourself. Just for the record.”

“We’ll see about that, Lemon. How do I know this wasn’t just beginner’s luck? It was your first day of practice.”

What Rose wouldn’t give for that to be the case. She wanted it so much, she ached with the longing.

Abbie narrowed her eyes, the fire in them blazing right back, matching Rose’s. “It’s not beginner’s luck. Because I’ve been here several times throughout the summer and had limited practices with the team. You were the one that wasn’t there.”

Immediately, everything inside of Rose went into overdrive, and she felt choked with the indignation, the fury. Sorry, she was too fucking busy being in hell, so she’d missed some practices.

“Get out of my way, Lemon,” she muttered, darkly, and pushed by her.

“It’s not luck, Rose. It’s talent. And I’m not going anywhere. So I hope you can get on board with that,” Abbie said from behind her. There was a heat in her words, but not quite matching Rose’s ire. More… determined. Firm.

Rose simply shrugged, and refused to look back. “We’ll see.”

“Yeah, we will.”

She had a sinking feeling though, a sneaking suspicion. That they would see, and that Rose was going to be the one that was wrong, here.

She had the feeling that Abbie was – potentially – exceptional.

And that really was the worst thing about her.

***

At least, that was what Rose thought was the worst thing about her, until the following week, before their first game.

Rose was doing her typical pre-game ritual, the same breathing exercises she always did. Maintaining calm. Staying focused. Standing at her own locker, right at the end of a row, which she preferred because she could stand off to the side rather than be right in the thick of things.

Which was even more preferential to her now that Abbie was on the team.

Abbie’s locker was dead center, which made perfect sense. Because Abbie was just so friendly, and all of the girls just adored her.

Inhaling long, slow, and deep, Rose rolled her shoulders back and kept her eyes closed, getting back to her center.

It was getting easier to ignore Abbie every day. She was just another person. Someone that danced on Rose’s last nerve just by existing because of everything about her, but… whatever.

Right now, her main agitation wasn’t about Abbie, anyway. It was everyone. Because instead of talking about the game, they were talking about their ridiculous love lives.

Kelly, who was standing right next to her, let out a long, dreamy sigh. “Nathan said he was coming to the game tonight.”

Rose kept her eyes closed, but would have rolled them otherwise.

“You’re obsessed,” Jackie, from the other side of the room called out, laughing. “If he wanted to date you, he would have asked you out after he kissed you during spin the bottle at a party last year.”

“And?” Kelly shot back. “I can’t still think he’s hot?”

Rose managed to keep the grimace off of her face, keeping her head leaned back against the locker.

“You know, great point,” Amaya said. The last Rose had looked, she’d been sitting on the bench right next to where Abbie was standing at her locker. “We haven’t talked about this yet, Abbie.”

“About… what?” Abbie asked, and she really didn’t sound like she was trying to be coy.

“About guys? Do you have a boyfriend from your last school? We have some decent pickings here – Nathan Schiff, as Kelly looooves to point out,” she joked.

Everyone fell quiet as they waited for Abbie’s answer, and there was a beat of quiet. Which seemed abnormal from the limited time Rose had spent with her.

Before she cleared her throat. “No… no boyfriend at my old school. I’m not interested in finding one here, anyway.”

Rose’s lips ticked down in muted consideration. Okay, so maybe Abbie wasn’t going to be insufferable when it came to the times the girls talked about guys at their school –

“I didn’t have a girlfriend, either. But if I was going to date someone here, it would be a girl,” Abbie finished, with a quiet certainty.

Rose snapped her eyes open, feeling like the entire earth was shaking under her feet. The blood rushed through her veins, pumping so hard it made her lightheaded.

Was Abbie somehow mocking her? Did she know, had she somehow found out?!

But… but Abbie wasn’t looking at her at all.

Abbie was standing in front of her own locker, wearing a black sports bra and her dark red soccer shorts, as she perfunctorily combed her fingers through her hair, getting ready to tie it into a ponytail.

And Rose – she couldn’t breathe.

She – she –

Amaya leaned forward. “Oh, so… you’re–”

“A lesbian,” Abbie finished for her, snapping her hair tie into place, and her golden hair swished around her shoulder blades. “Yeah.”

A lesbian.

She – she just said that word so casually. So simply. She was a lesbian. Abbie fucking Dalton was a lesbian.

And Rose could. Not. Breathe.

She’d been so wrong, before. Abbie being a great goalie wasn’t the worst thing about her; not even close.

This was, by far, the worst thing Rose could have imagined.

***

She just barely managed to get through the game. Typically, it was easy for Rose to go to a different place in her mind when she was playing soccer.

Typically, soccer was the safe place in her mind. She didn’t have to think about anything or be anyone, other than who she was on the field.

And today – all because of Abbie “Lesbian” Dalton – she’d barely managed to find her rhythm.

Thankfully she hadn’t embarrassed herself on the field, or she might very well have cracked.

At the end of the game, they gathered around after shaking hands with the other team.

Rose was hyper aware of Abbie the second she approached the huddle, coming up right next to Rose. What the hell was her fucking problem?!

The last thing she wanted or needed was Abbie all excited and still breathing heavy fresh off of their victory pressing against her. It made her feel like she’d be sick to her stomach.

She shot Abbie a dirty look, pointedly taking a small step away from her. As far as she could, given that they were all coming into a team huddle. “Do you mind giving me some space, Lemon?”

Abbie rolled her eyes back at her, but didn’t fall into the same dark place Rose was in. Instead, the smile on her lips didn’t even fade. “You played really well tonight.”

Always with these compliments, jesus. Rose frowned deeper.

Abbie rolled her eyes again, and turned to face Coach Dru as she whistled to get everyone’s attention.

Everyone’s but Rose’s.

She couldn’t focus on their coach’s short but fervent hyped up speech. All she could focus on was the buzzing in her head that she’d managed to quell during the game, but not anymore.

Abbie was a lesbian.

Just like her moms. Wow, was her dad actually right about that?

God, her dad. The very idea of him knowing about Abbie made her blood run cold, made her shiver uncomfortably, and as soon as Dru dismissed them, she stumbled back a few steps. Distancing herself from Abbie.

Abbie, who didn’t seem to notice her at all. Abbie, who ran right up to – her lesbian moms.

Rose had to look away from them. She –

“Rose!” Nathan’s excited voice called out to her.

She opened her eyes to find him crossing the field toward her, a big smile on his face.

“You did great! I mean, first goal scored all season… that has to feel good,” he cajoled as soon as he reached her, lightly bumping his arm into hers.

She kept her focus on him and only him, managing a tight smile of her own. “It does feel good,” she acknowledged, trying to put herself back into the right mindset.

She should feel good. She should feel happy. She had scored the first goal of the season – and two others – and she was here, at Elliston. She’d made it back home.

She was going to do this right. She wasn’t going to fuck things up. She was not going to end up back in Ohio.

With that in mind, she rolled her shoulders back and stared up at Nathan, appraisingly.

Kelly and Amaya – they hadn’t been wrong, earlier. Nathan was very, objectively, attractive. Tonight was far from the first time she’d heard other girls at the school go all swoon-y over him.

And more than that, she trusted him. As much as Rose could trust someone else at this point in her life, anyway.

And her parents would love it. There would be no threat of the Circle of Mercy hanging over her head, not if she was with Nathan.

Even if she couldn’t really be “fixed,” it didn’t mean she couldn’t be with Nathan.

“Do you want to go out with me?” She asked, finding the words lodged thickly in her throat.

Even so, she tilted her jaw up at him, letting the question settle inside of her.

This was the right thing to do. It was.

She knew, because the idea of it didn’t make her spiral into a cold sweat. Not the way Abbie did, the way the word lesbian did whenever it bounced through her mind.

Nathan shrugged as he nodded. “Yeah, sure. Are you wanting to go to that smoothie place, or–”

She set her jaw and cut him off, “Not out for a smoothie; do you want to go out with me. Do you want to date, or not?”

And, yeah, that was about as romantic as she found herself capable of in this moment.

Nathan’s eyes widened, and his jaw went slack, because – thankfully – he didn’t care about how soft she was. In fact, the thing that really bolstered her right now, was that Nathan knew who she was. She wouldn’t have to pretend to be soft and gooey or whatever.

“You… you want to date?” He repeated, lifting his hand and gesturing between them. “You and me?”

“Do you see anyone else here?” She asked, mildly amused.

“The answer to that, Rose Margaret Elliston, is hell yeah!” He dragged his hand through his hair, his eyes big and bright, and… and it was sweet.

It made Rose feel – something. Safe, if she had to label it.

And that was the best case scenario right now, she thought, as she flicked her eyes over to Abbie and her moms, and then immediately back to Nathan.

This would be good, for the both of them. Nathan… he was getting what he wanted. And Rose was getting what she needed.

An almost perfect match. Which was more than enough, as far as Rose was concerned.

***

Who the hell said I love you for the first time right before lunch, all casually? Like it wasn’t a big deal whatsoever.

And the thing is, Rose didn’t like fanfare. She would have detested if Nathan made some big show of declaring his apparent love for her. But at least it would have given her something else to focus on than the turmoil she felt right now.

The biggest thing was the fact that Nathan had said it at all.

I love you.

Rose didn’t – she just – those words felt so foreign on her lips. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d said that to someone else, if ever. She’d definitely never said it romantically. She didn’t have many close friends, but she wasn’t someone that would just throw out an easy love you to them even if she did.

Had she ever said it to her parents? She didn’t think so. Not any time in recent memory, anyway. If so, it had been when she’d been a little kid, and she couldn’t imagine either of them saying it back. Definitely not in a way that would have felt loving.

Saying that felt so – heavy. Her tongue felt laden down with the words, which felt frozen in her throat.

That meant something. Rose was practically the opposite of a casual person, and the word love was the opposite of casual as well. At least, to her.

She sat on her stool in the back of the chem lab, and tested out simply mouthing the words – hidden safely behind her hand, as she had her chin dropped into her palm, propped up on the table.

And she shuddered at the feeling. It was just… unnatural.

They’d been going out by now for three months, so she couldn’t even say that he was rushing anything. It wasn’t about that. He could have held off on telling her this for another six months, a year. She knew she’d feel the same way that she felt now.

Why did it have to be such a big deal, anyway? Saying I love you. What did that really matter, in the grand scheme of things?

And yet, she glanced down at her phone that she had on her lap – something she rarely ever did – to see the text Nathan had sent her.

Nathan Schiff – 12:02P.M.its not a big deal if you don’t want to say it back yet. I just wanted to tell you

and im sorry im texting you about it bc I know you prob don’t want to text about this and make it a big Thing

This was the crux of it all, wasn’t it?

She knew that things weren’t “typical” in her relationship with Nathan, but they were far from bad.

They regularly held hands – during the times she allowed it, though she didn’t love it for long periods of time, and he respected that – and they’d made out at increasing intensities throughout the last few months. Though she didn’t really love physical touch, Nathan had always felt comfortable to her. She didn’t feel disturbed or unsettled when he reached for her, ever. Which she had to hold tightly onto as a good thing.

So what if he didn’t make her heart race or make those hot sparks explode down her spine? That wasn’t what all relationships were based on; Rose had met enough couples in her parents’ social groups to know that. Her own parents, even. If they were attracted to one another – disgusting to even think about – she’d be utterly shocked.

How much did attraction really have to matter?

She and Nathan worked. She liked him, she respected him, she was comfortable with him. If she found men attractive, she’d probably be attracted to him. Even without that attraction, she could appreciate him, aesthetically.

And she did, really, love him.

Not “in love” or what the fuck ever. But if she had to really think about someone in her life that she loved, she would think about Nathan.

No, it wasn’t in the way she could have, one day, loved Tessa or something. Like when she’d felt all of those tingles and the excitement and the breathlessness of it all.

But the way she loved Nathan, she decided with a slight nod, one that worked through her, comforting her, was probably steadier than all of that breathless butterfly instability, anyway.

How many people in this world could say that? Especially people their age?

Rose Elliston – 12:27P.M.I love you, too.

And yes, I’m done texting about it.

With that, she tucked her phone away and felt – good? About it.

She detested the idea of texting as a medium of serious conversation. But, on the flip side, she wasn’t really sure she’d be able to say aloud that she loved Nathan to his face. She didn’t think she was able to say that to anyone.

Some nights in the last few months, she couldn’t sleep and she’d lay in bed and stare up at her ceiling, moonlight streaming in through her window.

And without her permission, her thoughts would wander.

Wander to Tessa – where was she? Was she okay? What had happened to her? But the very idea of reaching out to her made Rose feel sick to her stomach.

Wander to Nathan – who had no idea that she wasn’t into him like that. Was this the right thing to do?

And then she’d think of Circle of Mercy. Of the humiliation and the shame and the debilitating fear that had eaten at her, wondering if she’d ever be able to come home. To live any semblance of a normal life, again. She’d think of the way her dad had looked at her, like she was a disgusting disappointment, even though she worked so hard to live up to the Elliston name. To get perfect grades, to be the best player she could possibly be on the field, to maintain a spotless behavioral record while living here.

It made her shudder, made her stomach cramp until she’d wonder if she was going to start heaving from it.

What she was doing with Nathan was best for the both of them, she’d decided.

Because maybe he loved her differently than she loved him, but Rose… she would never break his heart. Kelly, from the team, was a great example. She would love to date Nathan, and she didn’t make a secret out of it. But Kelly was also notorious for always having someone as her backup. It wasn’t, technically, cheating – Rose figured that depended on what you considered cheating, though – but she always had a guy that was interested on the hook. So that when she eventually got bored with her current boyfriend, she could simultaneously break up with her boyfriend and “upgrade” her backup. She loved talking about it in the locker room, and Rose couldn’t always tune her out.

Rose… she would never do that to him.

She would always look out for him, which was really a good thing for Nathan, because he was so damningly sweet that he always thought the best of everyone. She would always value him as a whole person, rather than a romantic prospect. She genuinely wanted him to be happy. And that was way better than what she could say about a lot of their classmates, and the way they treated their boyfriends or girlfriends.

So –

She was unexpectedly jostled, quickly reaching out to catch herself before she potentially slid off the stool, shooting a glare at the person next to her.

“Watch it, Lemon,” she grit out, deliberately sliding back into place.

She’d been doing a very good job ignoring the fact that she and Abbie had been assigned to sit at the same table while working on their study guide for their midterms – annoying alphabetical seating. Luckily, Abbie wasn’t her partner – that was David Dugan, who was sitting across from her, very clearly on his phone.

Rose was so thrilled at how it had all worked out.

Abbie’s bright blue eyes looked back at her, not reflecting Rose’s irritation. “Sorry,” she apologized, genuinely, with that disgustingly sweet, self-deprecating smile she sometimes wore. “I didn’t realize my backpack was going to hit you like that when I picked it up.”

“Mhmm,” Rose muttered back, slowly arching her a look. “Shouldn’t you be better at spatial awareness?”

The sweet earnestness on Abbie’s expression drifted away as she rolled her eyes at Rose. “Shouldn’t you have better balance? It’s not like I shoved you.”

God, she hated it. She hated everything about Abbie fucking Dalton.

She hated how Abbie – even months into the school year – always started conversations off without an attitude, despite the fact that Rose gave an attitude to her.

And she also hated these little moments, when Abbie bit back at her. Because as much as it pinged her agitation, it also thrilled her in this way that Rose couldn’t quite explain. Wouldn’t explain, not even to herself. She wasn’t going to go there in her mind.

To make everything worse in this current moment, their chemistry class was supposed to have been released to go to lunch five minutes ago. But a pipe had burst right outside of the cafeteria, so they’d been relegated to staying in their classrooms for lunch.

So, she’d been staying right here.

And apparently, so would Abbie. Right next to her. Rose huffed out a breath and did her best to focus on the lab notes she’d worked on during class. They were probably going to be on the midterm, so –

As if on queue, Abbie gently nudged her.

She stiffened, glancing at Abbie out of the corner of her eye. “What now? I’m studying,” she muttered.

“Well, it’s technically lunch break, even if we’re stuck in here. And I was just going to ask if you had something to eat.”

Rose huffed out a haughty sigh, deliberately not turning to look at her. “I don’t know how things worked at your public school, but they aren’t going to starve us. We’ll be getting our lunches delivered to the classrooms. Didn’t you listen to the announcement? Can’t you wait another few minutes? Do you not get fed at home?”

That didn’t seem to be the vibe Rose got from Abbie’s seemingly adoring gay moms with the way they fawned over Abbie after every game. But Rose knew that Abbie’s gay family probably didn’t have that much money; she’d listened to all of the lectures from her father and – even more intensely – the ones at Circle of Mercy. Being gay wasn’t just a moral sin, but also a socio-economic one.

Which was what her father preached about the most, and was the thing Rose understood the most. She didn’t really believe she was “depraved” or that other gay people were. But more than anything, Rose had always been determined to be successful. She was an Elliston.

She heard Abbie huff out her own sigh in return. “I wasn’t asking if you had something to eat so you could feed me. I was asking because I was going to offer you some of my lunch. God.”

There was such an exasperation in Abbie’s voice, even as she tipped her voice up at the end, like she was still making the offer to Rose, if she wanted it.

She broke her fixed concentration from her chem notes, and glanced over to where Abbie was fastidiously unpacking her apparently well-packed lunch. Which included a sandwich inside of a cute little Tupperware that was shaped like a piece of bread, a cup of strawberries, an arrangement of vegetables with some hummus, and a couple of what appeared to be homemade granola bars.  

Why did Abbie have to do stupid things like this? Rose felt her stomach tingle, and she swiftly pushed it away, feeling herself flush as she felt so – bothered.

“No, I’ll wait for my actual lunch to be delivered,” she muttered, curtly, keeping her spine straight, feeling the tension vibrate through her.

She could feel – ever so slightly – the way Abbie’s shoulder brushed against hers as she started opening her containers and setting up her lunch spread, and she buzzed from it.

“Suit yourself,” Abbie said back, and Rose could hear the eye roll in her voice.

“I will.”

Abbie didn’t say anything back, and Rose didn’t know if she was happy about that or not. Instead, Abbie started a conversation with her own lab partner, Penny Colter, and slid her food between them, inviting Penny to have some.

She scowled and looked away. She hated it. She hated that she always felt this way when Abbie gave just as good as she got. If she would just be quiet and not talk to Rose, then Rose wouldn’t talk to her, and everything could be fine! But no. She just had to open that stupid, attractive mouth and sass right back at her.

The only thing she hated even more was when Abbie would then turn around and did those nice things. Like give her some of her lunch. Or when she’d laugh at one of Rose’s comments – not directed at her – or how she always said “you played really well” all – all sincerely after every game.

Like, what was she trying to do? Go for some person of the year award? Wasn’t one of the superlatives they gave out at Elliston, so tough luck.

The thing she hated the most when her mind wandered at night was when it wandered to Abbie.

***

Coach Dru always liked to do something special right before holiday break. Their autumn season was over, but they continued practices right up until school let out.

This year, she led them all into the gym the farthest away from the main buildings of the school, where the indoor pool was. Which wasn’t a surprise, given that she’d told everyone to bring their bathing suits with them.

But the team still broke out in excited mutters, at the sight of the empty pool, theirs for the taking.

“Don’t get used to me letting you slack off,” Coach warned, jokingly. “But if you can’t have a little pool party after you played a perfect season, then when can you?” She clapped her hands. “Go on and get changed in the locker room!”

As soon as everyone hit the locker room, they were stripping their clothes off as quickly as possible, the excitement buzzing through the room. Which, Rose could admit, she felt, too.

It was super rare for them to be able to reserve the pool. Even when they did pool rotations for gym class, they were never the only class that got to use it. And typically, swim teams were using it, so they didn’t get to during regular sports seasons.

“Look at you, even a little smile on your face,” Tori Mazur joked from beside Rose. “That’s how Coach knows she did something really good.”

Rose scoffed out a laugh, as she adjusted the strap on her bathing suit. “Shut up.”

But it wasn’t biting at all. She liked Tori – she wasn’t obnoxious, wasn’t super gossipy, always included Rose, but was never pushy, trying to be her best friend. When Rose socialized with the team, Tori was one of her preferred people.

Tori clicked her tongue. “Nope, we all saw it.”

“Oh yeah?” Rose asked, in disbelief, as she shut the door of the locker she was using. “All of you?”

Her tone was deliberately incredulous, because the rest of the team were paying them no mind. And, to make her point, Rose gestured at everyone else.

Which –

Was a mistake.

It was a big, big, big… mistake.

Because her eyes locked on Abbie. Abbie, who wasn’t looking at her at all.

But it wasn’t Abbie’s eyes her own had locked onto.

They’d obviously shared a locker room for the last year, but… this was different.

Because Rose made a point not to look at Abbie in the locker room. Not to glance her way, not to go near her. She’d just about perfected the art of acting like Abbie didn’t exist in the locker room, especially after that time, when Abbie had come out as a lesbian.

But she existed right here.

She was standing right here, and she was wearing a pair of black bikini bottoms, but hadn’t put on her bikini top, yet.

She was laughing, nonchalantly, with Amaya, and her nipples were hard, and Rose couldn’t breathe.

Rose could see the way the muscles in her stomach flexed when she laughed at whatever Amaya said.

Rose wouldn’t know what was said; she couldn’t hear anything over her heartbeat thundering in her ears. She couldn’t even, visually, register anyone else in the room. She knew the whole team was in here, but everyone who wasn’t Abbie was a blur.

She wasn’t a… a pervert lesbian. She didn’t care about the nudity of anyone else in here.

With that, she forced herself to look away, her cheeks burning. The last fucking thing she needed was to be caught staring at Abbie.

She turned and walked out of the locker room, feeling her body pulsing all over, as she marched right off the edge and into the water, desperately needing the cold splash to snap her out of it.

And it worked. It worked enough to put her mind back into reality.

The reality of letting go of everything else and just existing with the team.

She even allowed herself to be cajoled into partaking in Marco Polo.

Which was all well and good.

Until Rose found herself in the corner of the pool, holding dead still. Everyone was staying dead still, as Abbie, her eyes tightly closed, swam closer and closer to Rose. Her hands stretched in front of her, searching, as she treaded water.

Rose was barely breathing. Whatever breaths were escaping her were choppy and trembling, and she felt hyper-aware of them. More and more aware every second, as Abbie came closer… closer…

Abbie’s hair was slicked back and it was tinted slightly darker with the water, and her skin was still golden and tan from the summer and early fall, but it was starting to fade. Still, little freckles that came out from the sun were on her nose and cheeks, something Rose could only see up close like this. Something Rose tried not to focus on.

Abbie’s pink lips were pouting slightly in concentration, her brow was furrowed.

She was so close, Rose could see the way the little water droplets clung to her eyelashes.

“Marco?” Abbie called out. Kicking her feet, coming closer…

Everyone else chorused their “polos” back, and Rose wasn’t a cheater, so she, too, answered.

Her “Polo” was breathless, and so quiet, raspy when it left her throat.

But Abbie locked on. She could see the way Abbie registered her location, turning to face her.

There was nowhere for Rose to go. She was cornered, and Abbie was only inches away, and she held still. Dead still. She didn’t even breathe.

Abbie reached out a blind hand, and Rose automatically had to flail her arms back, slapping her hands against the edge of the pool, when she felt Abbie’s fingers brush over her bare stomach.

Tentative for only a second, before a brilliant smile flashed triumphantly over Abbie’s face, and she moved more confidently, splaying her full hand over Rose’s stomach, then sliding to grip her hip.

Oh god. Her hands tightened against the edge of the pool, and it was the only thing holding herself up, because Abbie was touching her bare skin, and Rose couldn’t be trusted to keep treading water right now.

It was only for a second or two, Rose knew that. Logically.

But that wasn’t what it felt like.

She felt branded by Abbie’s brief touch.

She felt arousal, pulsing through her in a way that was devastating. Hot and needy and demanding, and the wetness between her legs had nothing to do at all with the pool water.

It was only worse when Abbie blinked those beautiful blue eyes open, the smile on her face so open and excited – clearly not at all in the same mindset Rose was in, which made this moment even more fucking appalling.

But it was locking onto those eyes that snapped her back into reality. Thankfully, because her hands slipped from where she was braced on the edge of the pool.

She used the momentum to shove at Abbie, making slight contact with her, but mostly splashing her back. “Stop fucking cornering me here, Lemon. Do you want me to drown?”

Abbie spluttered back at her, reaching up to swipe the water out of her eyes as she glared at her. That excited, intoxicatingly happy smile was gone. “We’re playing a game! I couldn’t even see you!”

“Dalton, Elliston – everything okay over there?” Coach Dru called out from where she was perched on one of the bleachers, acting as their lifeguard.

Abbie shot her a look – agitated and baffled – before she called back, “Everything’s fine! Rose is just upset she’s been caught.” She injected a lightness into her tone, as she smoothly spun away from Rose and started swimming back to where mostly everyone else had congregated.

And Abbie had no fucking idea how much more upset Rose would be, if she’d been “caught” out in her actual thoughts.

***

She couldn’t get rid of the way she’d felt from Abbie’s touch in the pool over the next few days, as they moved into winter break.

She tried. She tried, desperately, to forget what it felt like for Abbie to touch her. To touch her on her bare stomach, her hip.

But as she and Nathan had snuck away from their parents’ joint holiday party and were making out on her bed, knowing that their parents were all getting drunk downstairs and wouldn’t come looking for them, it was all she could think about.

In real life, she knew, it was Nathan’s hands that slid under her shirt.

But, in real life, Nathan’s touch did nothing for her.

It wasn’t like she was disgusted when he touched her, either. It just didn’t set fireworks off inside of her. It didn’t turn her on the way she knew it would… if he was a woman.

She had him on his back, having taken control of the situation minutes ago. They hadn’t had sex, yet, but it was time. Nathan had expressed how ready he was months ago – like she’d needed him to tell her – and had also told her he would wait until she was ready.

And, as she moved his hand precisely over her hip, right where she still felt the ghost of Abbie’s touch, she knew tonight was the night.

She’d really rather get it over with, frankly.

And she’d spent every night for the last few days wet and wanting. She didn’t have to consciously summon the memory from the pool, at this point. It was just living in her mind, on repeat.

“We’re going to have sex, now,” she informed Nathan, point-blank. “If you want to.”

“Wha – yeah! Yeah. I – yeah,” he breathed back, obviously excited.

“Great,” she murmured back.

At the very least, she could take advantage of the vexing way Abbie turned her on; maybe she could finally get something useful out of her gayness – out of her attraction to Abbie – for once.

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